Total Pageviews

Saturday, October 31, 2009


What is the SOP (standard operating procedure) for standing up for your woman? Do all girls really like it in all cases even when it's irrational? Is it mostly done to feed ones need to project alpha male dominance A.K.A ego or out of a genuine desire to protect a loved one's dignity? Is a guy perceived to be more attractive if he is the extreme territorial type that goes like "if you even as much as look at my babe the wrong way, I don't care if you have a gun I'll punch you in the face"?

Men have done all sorts for women. From Menelaus of Sparta that started a full blown war in an attempt to snatch back his stolen babe to Chukwuemeka of Nnewi that punched the dude that slapped his babe at a party. An act which caused a chain-reaction of events that ended with 7 bodies 6 feet deep. Well, the Helen of troy gist might be a myth but the second one is a true story o! There is also the story of Adewale that took off and disappeared the second armed evil men showed up at the joint he was hanging out with his chic. Leaving the babe to fend off Kalashnikovs with her Ferragamo high heels.

I am asking this question because it seems like some girls expect too much. Not to mention, some are active trouble makers looking for who would be ever ready to shout "THIS!! IS!! SPARTA!!" on their behalf. I had this one experience where a babe that got robbed said to me in all frankness, "I just thank God you were not there because they had guns and I know you would have wanted to protect me and things would have gone badly."

Did you say they had guns? Protect with what? My bulletproof ribcage? Nawaoo.

Anyways, I'll like to know how una see these things. Feel free to suggest permissible levels of reaction in different scenarios.

Many argue it's stupid to overreact when there is a clear "existential threat." In that case they say the sensible thing to do is to put your beta abi gamma male dominance BS in your pocket.

PS: "Courage is not limited to the battlefield or the Indianapolis 500 or bravely catching a thief in your house. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking, like enduring pain when the room is empty, like standing alone when you're misunderstood."
--Charles Swindoll

Thursday, October 29, 2009

"A New Cloud of Beauty" (Cont.)

The first part of the story can be viewed here... Just incase you missed it. :) New Cloud of Beauty. Part 1

“You’re lucky you go in-state,” I said after we picked up two of his friends, JJ, a guy I knew vaguely from middle school, and Freddy. Chris nodded. He had the luxury of going to school with people who knew who he really was.
Club 7 was a sweatbox of rum, cologne, and long hair extensions. Like any club in the city, its patrons gyrated under a cloud of smoke and weed, but unlike most clubs, the crowds came early to Club 7 because at the best joint on 8th Street the prospects of a good DJ and a good hookup were always high.
Chris grabbed my arm and led me to the dance floor once we’d all gotten through security. Turquoise and fushia and gold flashed above our heads and we danced and we danced and we danced. I wasn’t drunk but my head was light and the room was swirling, as I swung my hips in every which direction. I saw a girl jump in front of Chris and mash her buttocks against his groin to the base beat of the music, and Chris’s friends paired off in a similar fashion. But I chose to sway alone. I closed my eyes and reveled in the freedom of the dark.
After a dozen songs I felt a tap on my back. I turned around and JJ motioned for me to follow him.
“What’s up?” I yelled in his ear, but he didn’t reply. He led me through the undulating horde of people to the back of the club. I squinted, and in the dim light I saw Chris and Freddy standing in front of the fire exit among a group of ten or twelve people.
“Here she is,” JJ mouthed, and he nudged me to the center.
“Thanks,” Chris said. “Hey, Jess, these are some people I want you to meet. You know Jay and Shanice.” He gestured to a light-skinned girl who looked like Naomi Campbell and a darker one with a tighter dress, who looked like she needed birth control. “This is Jason, Eric, Larry, Sean…”
The boys all smiled and waved or tipped their hats in greeting. I smiled too, at first, but then I realized that everyone was looking at me.
“Hey,” I said. “Nice to meet you.” But my cheeks were trembling. I felt their eyes around me and upon me, and I knew they were judging me. I tried to hide my discomfort as the room spun and my vision blurred, but still I crumbled under their gazes like a speck in a swarm of ants. My skin crawled and my eyes darted. I tried to look up, but I couldn’t, so I flashed a smile as I watched the floor, and I prayed for a conversation to start.
“Do you go to school here?” drawled one of the boys; Kingsley, I think. He crossed his arms and he looked at me sideways.
“No,” I stuttered. I tried to drop the stupid smile still trembling on my face. “I go to school in Atlanta.”
Kingsley nodded and frowned. “What made you wanna go there?”
“We’re really good in the sciences, and I’m pre-med. And the campus is—it’s really beautiful.”
“You coulda stayed here,” said another one, Darius, who was next to me. “Mid-west got a lot of trees too.” He grinned. “Ya’ll got a lot of parties up there?”
“Yeah,” I said. “But I don’t drink, so...”
“Oh,” he said, and he looked disappointed.
After that it was silent for a while, but eventually Jayla said something funny, and the whole group united in laughter without me. They went back and forth about some girl and some guy, and I chided myself for thinking I was well enough to be there. Conversation is an art form, I thought, as smiles flashed from one side of the group to the other, and I wondered who’d given Chris and his friends permission to be happy.
Suddenly a hand was waving in my face. “Yo, where you at?” laughed Darius. “I said, ‘how you like this song?’” But I was startled, and confused, so I didn’t say anything. He jumped in front of me and looked over his shoulder at Chris. “I think she must’ve had something, dog, her eyes look gone.”
And at that, my best friend came over. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled. My mouth was like mush. Now they all probably thought I was stupid. “I’m just a little tired.”
“You’re spacing out, girl.” He put his hand to the small of my back and walked me towards the lounge area. “Why don’t you go sit down or something, then?”
Chris jogged back into the party. Maybe he wasn’t angry, but he was probably embarrassed. I sat on one of the plush, crimson couches and crossed my legs. There was a prostitute perched on one butt-cheek on the couch in front of me, and a man was sitting beside her. As her breasts bounced like Jell-o before the man and he pulled her closer, I thought of the last time that I’d been kissed, and how that had been my first time. I sank back into the chair and remembered the cloud of beauty that had overwhelmed us and how I couldn’t sleep for days after. But then I waved the thoughts of him away. He was gone, so there was no use in feeling anything.
The DJ turned the music up and I realized that “A Millie” by Lil’ Wayne was on. Damn I hate a shy bitch; don’t you hate a shy bitch? blared the stereos, and someone offered me a Smirnoff and I took it. My throat burned, and I began to think of the many ways that I could punish myself for being afraid of human beings. I’ve been numb for weeks, I thought, and the tears came when I realized that I wanted to destroy my wrists to feel.
I took another Smirnoff off of somebody and downed it. I turned sharply to my left and everything swam before me, and when I came to, the man sitting next to me was looking at me.
“You seem thirsty,” he said. He was dark, and his teeth gleamed when he grinned. “My name is Kirabo. It means ‘gift from God.’”
Immigrants, I thought. My parents were like that once.
“Where are you from?” he said, moving closer to me. His accent was thick and rich like syrup.
“I’m Nigerian,” I slurred. “Where’re you from, gift from God?”
“I am from Uganda. You do look Nigerian,” he said, and he grinned again. “You’ve got a pretty nose.”
I frowned, but then I smiled at him and he held my gaze until I dropped it. Usually, I would’ve avoided a random guy in a club, but I was drunk and he seemed innocent, so I kept up the conversation. He asked me gently what I was studying and I told him I wanted to be a doctor and write on the side.
“That’s amazing,” he said, and he smiled. “I can’t write to save anything.”
And I relaxed. Like my family, like my mother, writing was a natural part of me that I could talk about without blinking. But then I remembered attending a writing workshop earlier that month, and sitting at a round table and being surrounded by eyes, and I winced.
“Do you want to dance?”

Tuesday, October 27, 2009



Honestly, I know that I am a "NEWBIE" but what is up with bloggers who go on exile from blogsville? I don tire for this nonsense o, why are they leaving? And why is it that you other bloggers just take it as if you are used to it? Ehn? Even if you are used to it, why don't you guys berate them about it? I don't understand, why do they go on exile? I mean I understand that one cannot update a blog regularly, but nobody is saying you should. Just update from time to time when you can, why do you have to LEAVE the whole blog? Why bother starting a blog in the first place ehn? It's like creating a facebook account and then deleting it after 3 years claiming that you have finally gotten a life *shivers* Wat kind of fuckery is that? Lmao but seriously though all jokes aside, this is a serious matter.

I just read Shona Vixen's blog and she's apparently leaving blogsville also. I did not know Shona that well, but from the very little that I garnered from her blog, it was definitely a CORRECT blog.
The particular exile wey vex me pass na that Chari and Buttercup self imposed exile. Do you know that it was because of those "baggars" that I finally joined blogsville? Na after I come join, that they now decided to go on exile. *smh* (Btw, I can call them "baggars" because am close to them like that o thats why I chop liver, if you like you to go and call them "baggars" on your own various blogs, and see what will happen to you. Next thing you know, it is your obituary that we will be reading on Blogsville Gist.) Lmao

Ehen now back to a more pressing issue that has been bugging me about blogsville, why is there tomuch unnecessary *shining/smiling of teeth* here. In other words, there is tomuch unnecessary "niceness" that goes on in blogsville. As I dey like this, I no dey send person o, if I am not feeling your blog post on that particular day, I will let you know true true. Take for example, the other day my wonderful friend Myne Whitman wrote a poem, I let her know that I was lost because me I do not understand poems. I have never understood poems and I have come to the conclusion that me and poems are not meant to be. How do you know when a Poem is good or bad? I have never figured it out. Anywayz, so I let Myne know sharp sharp that I was not feeling the post that day. I feel like that is the kind of honesty we should be breeding here on blogsville. Honestly, there are just some blog posts that i've read on blogsville, that gives me pause... *thinks about whether he really needs to finish this statement, hmm If i finish this statement I might lose half of my commenters, but If I finish it I will have proved to the blogsverians that I fear nobody. Which route do I take? Hmm, afterall they say Pride comes before the fall.. To be or not to be? That is not the question o, haha my blogsville career is on the line here. Oya nobody ever choked swallowing their pride abi? *swallows his pride sharp sharp* I will finish this line some other day, let my liver regrow first lmao. My point is, yall can't seriously tell me that you all "feel" the blog posts you read everyday? I mean even on my own blog, I innately know when I feel my own stuff and when I don't. When I don't feel my own blog post, I do not expect anybody to feel it to o. That is when I am surprised when I see someppl commenting out of the goodness of their heart on the blogpost. Ehn, please I do not need Charity comments abeg. hehe lol.  That is why I am saying, if you are not feeling the post, don't comment o. Because it is out of guilty conco that I be commenting on some of yall's  blogs. I mean, what is a brova to do? If you comment on my suckass post, I am forced to comment on your own suckass blogpost as well. Stroke my ego, I stroke your ego kinda deal. lmao. I KID I KID!!

Btw, yesterday was Myne Whitman's Bday, scoot over to her blog and wish her Happy Birthday.

Now to another more important issue, who are the "Blogsville Celebrities" and how does one go about to become one? Is there a list or something? Blogsville Gist I urge you to publish a list of blogsville celebrities as soon as possible, because some of we "Newbies" unwittingly offend some of these "Celebrities" by the very content of our blogs. It is becoming a very serious matter, it was by the grace of God that my friend "Controversy" avoided meeting his maker the other day. I heard that he offended one of these "so-called" celebrities and she vowed to boycott this blog forever. It remained small and she would have had him banned from blogsville. Please "Blogsville Gist" as the premiere spot for Gist on Blogsville, can you kindly provide we wey no dey privileged a list of Blogsville Celebrities so that we to wey no be celebrities can aspire to become celebs as well?? Thank you very much..

I think this is the end of my observations, if I observe any other things that bug me I shall bring them to the attention of the blogsville nation. Fank you very mucho..

EDIT: Please I've been reading some of the comments and I feel that yall misunderstood my "MYNE WHITMAN" statement. I was not sayign that Myne's blog sucks, neither was i seeking to disparage her. I love Myne Whitman's blog and I hope she knows that as well. But Forreal tho, some of you really went to far in misinterpreting the purpose of this blogpost. I was trying to get us to have a frank discussion on the things that go on in blogsville. But I see that what some people told me about most of the bloggers on blogsville is true. There really is a lot of "fakeness" that goes on in here. But who am I ehn to point it out??

Sunday, October 25, 2009


So last night, I went to see "Good Hair" by Chris Rock. It  was a documentary about hair  and why black women are so obsessed with it. I've always known that black women spent outrageous sums of money on their hair but I never realised till after watching that movie how bad it really was. Here are all the things I learnt from that movie.

1. The hair industry in this country is a 9 billion dollar industry. Black women make up 80% of the consumers of hair product. 80 damn percent lmao.

2. Weaves are now the main thing, and 3 out of 4 black women have tried weave on their hair. The weave industry is run by Asians mostly koreans. Moreover, there are only 4 black owned hair companies in the US. Most of the companies are run by white people and asians. This fact was especially an embarassment. Black people can not even control the products that only they themselves use.

3. Perms are definitely bad for you. It was so sad to see that nawadays, girls as young as 1 and half are getting perms. Their moms are making them get perms, can you imagine? Destroying this little children's bifocals for life.

4. The famous "Indian Hair" comes from the hair of indian women. In india, there is this practice called "tonsure" where the women go and shave their hair as a sacrifice to this one God who's name starts with "V". (It was a long ass name lol). The women who shave their hair, have no idea that their hairs are being sold to black women in the US at such an outrageous price. I am literally serious, the indian hair some of you use come from the very backs of other humans who sacrifice it. The "middle man" literally go and gather up all the hair from the temple of the God, dress it really well, put it in a suitcase and fly to yankee. They then stop at various shops and sell it. The hair in that suitcase costs 20 000 dollars. In the movie, they showed the indian man arriving with all this hair in the suitcase, and they showed him stopping at one of his customer's shops and the customer was now talking about how Viviva Fox loves indian hair, then at the last moment he made a mistake and was like some other celebrity loves Malaysian hair. An awkward silence then ensued because the Indian was annoyed that any celebrity would prefer malaysian hair over indian hair.

5. Ignorance plays a huge factor in this industry. People where paying upto a thousand dollars for "weave" a thousand dollars? Women could pay upto 3500 dollars for weaves, and all these women who paid for such weaves were average women. They showed a school teacher, a restaurant lady and other examples of average women who would spend upto a thousand on "weave".

6. Apparently, you can't pull a black woman's hair during sex. Black women won't go swimming, or if they do the water never rises above the neck. You literally cannot touch a black woman's hair anyhow, especially when she just got her hair did. That is tantamount to "having your fingers chopped off".Men were complaining that "hair expenses" where biting into their household expenses. The average black woman spends not less than a thousand dollars on hair per year. Frigging thousand dollars?

7. Original black hair is not used in the Industry, Chris Rock tried selling "black african hair" to the hair dressers and they were like "get that nappy shit" out of here. It was so shameful to realise that black women are not proud of their own hair. Apparently, even employers would not employ a black woman if she had her natural hair on.

8. Black Women apparently are on a mission to get the straightest Hair as possible. If the hair isn't straight and "smooky smooth" black women aren't going near it.

In conclusion, from a male perspective, it felt like Black Women were not proud of their own natural Hair. Why are black women not rocking their own "hair". Black Women are literally rocking the hair off the heads of women in India who sacrificed their hair. The Indian Woman does not even value hair as being that serious. "IT'S JUST HAIR".
Almost 80% of women in that country will shave their hair at the temple of the God. The God apparently requires their hair as sacrifice, and it was quite obvious that these ignorant people were being exploited for their hair. After sacrificing their hair, that same hair which should be a sacrifice is now shipped to various places in the world and people are becoming millionaires simply from selling the hair. Can you imagine? Honestly, the ability of Religion to "delude" people never ceases to amaze me.

P.S: By divine command, I hereby state that this post will be the last post about Hair on Blogsville. Like forreal guys, all this hair topic is becoming boring. NO MORE HAIR POSTS @ least for a good year. *So it shall be written, and so it shall be done*

Friday, October 23, 2009


I've been on a facebook fast for a while. So it was by word of mouth I got to hear about the huge fb furor over the district 9 movie. The "iRep naija" crowd, as EDJ would call them, ran amok because of the portrayal of Nigerians in the film. Well, I guess it would not be a bad idea to explore a related issue.

Are you proud to be Nigerian?

If you are, Have you got reasons? (btw, if you have to think up your reasons then Houston we have a problem)

In my experience, you are likely to fall into one of four categories.

Category A: I am proud to be Nigerian. My reasons are emotional. It is my home and that's sufficient. My friends and family may be all over the world but they are green white green in spirit. The culture runs in my veins and for that reason I perceive expressions of my culture in movies, music and life as having superior value to anything foreign. Nigeria is not perfect but it is my home. That's the only reason I need to be proud of my country.

Category B: Abeg free my soul. I am not Nigerian. I am a world citizen. I am free spirited. Nigeria is an onyibo idea. Besides, it is symbolic of dysfunction, corruption and retrogression. How can I be proud of failure? I am not proud of 'that' country and I have even more contempt for those that have pride in Nigeria. When someone asks me where I'm from, I am more comfortable saying West Africa or Ghana.

Category C: I am proud of Nigeria because I am obligated to be proud of my country of origin. An undeserved devotion as far as Nigeria is concerned, but necessary all the same.

Category D: I am proud of naija parties. Have you seen the latest episode of 'Desperate house wives'?

Please Choose your category and feel free to carve your own niche.

Having stated your category, how is your kind expected to react to the District 9 issue? Do you think Nigerian pride is unconnected with the D9 wahala? Do you think freedom of expression should be limited to only that which is of good taste?

PS: For those that are living in a deep cave on the dark side of Europa, Jupiter's moon. District 9 was a movie about extraterrestrials getting stuck on earth. It was modeled as a metaphor for apartheid South Africa with the marginalized aliens playing a role equivalent to SA blacks. For those that were prone to miss the metaphor, the aliens happened to get stuck in SA.

PPS:The movie depicted Nigerians as cannibals, warlords and cool with extraterrestrial prostitution. And the baddest naija guy in the movie was named Obasanjo. te he he he.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Yesterday, I had this question up on my facebook status and more people felt that Africa would have been a better place if the Europeans never colonized it. Personally, I disagreed with the majority and this is why.

1. Before the Europeans came, we did not know Jesus, we did not know about christianity, and we were definitely headed to hell. So we should thank God for the white man bringing the bible to us. (Lol all the christians better be happy for this first statement o).

2. We would definitely still be killing twins, Sugarking and his brother would be dead by now. Europeans came and stopped that practice.

3. We would definitely still be living in huts, we would be killing so-called "ogbanje babies". Such ignorance.

4. Women would still be second class citizens, infact any woman right now that supports the other side and claims that Africa was better off without the Europeans should bear in mind that women in those times where meant to be seen and not heard.

5.We would definitely not have invented any planes by ourselves, neither would we have invented internet, talk less of invent BLOGGER!!..

6. Last but not least, we would still be chilling in our various villages. There would be no nigeria, there would be no independence parties, and you know for certain that there would be no good roads, electricity or even good drinking water.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


            I don’t know how it happened, but for a while I’ve been afraid of people. I think it might’ve had something to do with Aunty Mercy, who isn’t related to our family at all. Everyone knows she’s a witch, but when she stopped by our house before I left, I hugged her anyway. Soon after, the fear began to hit me like asthma and I couldn’t walk the streets without trembling. One would expect that type of fear from battered women or anorexics, but it happened to me. I should’ve been happy when school started, but instead I hovered around campus like a shadow as my former self drifted away.

But it’s been four months since then, and now I’m trying to come back from crazy. I’ve been searching for the dark splendor that was me before, but she’s very elusive. I didn’t even know I’d lost her until a weekend ago, when I drove home for fall break.

Something felt different as I pulled crookedly into my parents’ driveway. My youngest sister, Ugo, screamed when she heard my squeaky tires and ran from our covered porch to throw herself against me. I jumped out of the car and crushed her six-year-old frame against mine, and I threw her up in the air.

“You’re back,” she said. She grinned sheepishly, and I ran a hand over her fuzzy braids. But for some reason my stomach was spinning, and when I tried to smile down at her mahogany eyes, I couldn’t. Not now, I thought as my eyes shifted, not here. I dropped my trembling cheeks and looked away because I knew my sister was reading me, and I couldn’t risk losing one of the few that I had left. But Ugo squeezed my left hand anyway and told me to race after her into the house, and when I did there was a surprise party waiting for me in the kitchen.

“You’re back!” yelled a chorus of familiar faces, and there was that same sheepish grin all around. Amidst a flurry of African music and the scent of my favorite soup, I squeezed and kissed my brother and my other two sisters and I ran into my mother’s arms. My brother, Ike, took my bags, my sister, Chioma, set me a plate, and Nkechi started talking. But as they laughed and smiled over my return, I felt a familiar shame creep over my neck. I was in my own house, and my skin was burning under the attention of so many eyes. I steeled myself and smiled and answered questions and nodded and made remarks, and eventually the activity around me subsided and my siblings dispersed around the house.

“Chris called,” my mom said once we were alone. “He said he would come up in two hours to see you.”

I threw my palm to my face and feigned annoyance. Chris had loved me since the seventh grade, and in those days, I couldn’t stand his dreadlocks and ragged sweatpants. But as his voice deepened, his grooming habits improved, and before I knew it he was one of my best friends—he knew me better than my own father did.

“How was the drive?” my mom said. We both sat at the kitchen table, and she gestured to a coconut cake on the counter that I hadn’t seen.

“Good,” I chirped, slurping a spoonful of soup. “Thanks for the cake.”

“You’re welcome.” She crossed her arms and leaned onto the table. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” she said. “Have you been sleeping well? I know you’ve been studying a lot, but you look so far away.”

I dropped my gaze and nodded into my bowl of egusi soup while mumbling a response, because her dark eyes were searching me, and I wanted to pretend for as long as possible.

She sat with me as I ate and as she talked I began to relax. She reminded me of uncles and aunties—family friends—who’d wished me the best of luck while I was at school, and she rubbed my forehead and said my skin looked a lot better. I sighed and my stomach settled. I was home; I was safe. But then the front door swung open and heavy footsteps rang through the foyer as my father entered the household. Suddenly the whole house fell silent, as if a chill ran through the walls. I sat up and my mom left her seat.

“Jesi’s back,” I heard her say, but I didn’t hear his response. Soon, his heavy feet were in the kitchen and he was towering over me.

“Hi, Daddy,” I said.

He raised an eyebrow. “Won’t you hug your father?” he said, and I got up quickly. “So did you find your way?” he said. “Did you follow my directions?”


“I’m glad you made it back. I wasn’t sure about you travelling all that way by yourself; you’ve never been much of a driver,” he said. He dropped his workbag to the ground with a thud.

“She used MapQuest too,” my mom offered. “And it didn’t take her as long as it should have, did it, Jess?”

I shook my head. “I think I’m gonna go lie down,” I said; suddenly I felt very tired. I snuck out of the kitchen before my father could think of something else to say, and if he saw my escape, he probably didn’t mind it since he and I never talked much anyway.

My room was cleaner than I last remembered it, but it still smelled like M by Mariah Carey. I tiptoed in and grabbed my black Cabbage Patch doll from the nightstand beside my bed. I should’ve brought you with me, I thought while looking into the doll’s freakish eyes. I poked a finger in her dimple. All around me sat evidence of my pre-summer confidence: high heels, certificates, paintings. I lay on my bed and picked up one of my senior portraits, the one of me in a traditional dress, staring straight and strong at the camera; my favorite. I tried to put myself in a studio again. I looked in the full-length mirror across the room and tried to imagine myself feeling pretty in front of a photographer, but it didn’t work. My neck stiffened and I looked away from my nervous reflection. I wondered what my future husband would think if I refused to take any wedding pictures. Surely a timid wife couldn’t be grounds for annulment. But I was getting ahead of myself. Getting married would require a fiancé, or at least a man, neither of which I had.

When I was a kid I couldn’t understand why my mom had married my father. I used to watch her make earrings and hairclips for my sisters and me when we couldn’t afford the ones in the store. Her hands were quick, but she glued down the buttons and the jellybeans with the same gentle determination she used when she pressed Mickey Mouse shapes into my sandwiches. And I would wonder how such a classic beauty could marry a man who had no shame and didn’t know how to say thank you.

The doorbell rang, and there was a shuffle of small feet.

“Jesi, Chris’s here!” Ugo yelled, and I went downstairs.

Chris broke into the biggest smile when I saw him. His nickname was “Cheddar Giant” because when he grinned like that he showed all his teeth, and he was tall. I grinned too and came closer, and he crushed me between his thick arms and broad chest.

“Someone’s gained some muscle,” I said, pinching his bicep. “And your hair got longer.”

He shrugged. “Just trying to get your attention,” he laughed, and he smoothed his shirt. “What are you doing tonight?” he said. “You tired?”

“No. I mean, I was gonna take a nap, but whatever.”

“You wanna come out with me and the boys tonight?”

“What are ya’ll finna do?”

“Just goin’ to Club 7.”

“Are there any girls with you?”

“Yeah, Jayla and Shanice’ll be there.”

“You don’t smoke weed now, do you?” I asked. Chris shook his head. “My parents would never let me go regardless.”

“Jessike, you’re nineteen. Tell ‘em you’re going to my place, and I’ll bring you back at one.”

I checked my watch: it was nine o’clock. “Alright,” I sighed. “Let me go get some clothes and stuff together and I’ll tell my parents we’re leaving.”

Being next to Chris in his car felt so good, I could hardly sit still. We talked and I held his gaze and it was like there was nothing wrong with me. But I guess that made sense because Chris made people comfortable. He was the type of guy who everyone wanted to be around. Still, I basked in the giddiness that bubbled throughout my body as we drove from the quiet suburbs and into the joyless city.


Monday, October 19, 2009



This is a topic that has always intrigued me. What is Genocide? Genocide is the deliberate and systematic destruction, in whole or in part, of an ethnic, racial, religious or national group. Examples include : Rwanda, the Holocaust, Amalekites, Armenians etc lol.
I have always wondered, how it is possible for  HUMAN BEINGS to stand aside and watch while genocide is committed by some people against another group of people. Even during World War 2, no nation went to the Jews defence until they realized that Hitler planned to take over the world. It sickens me when I realized that the only reason other nations entered the war was not because of the plight of the Jews. But for the fact that Hitler was threatening their own national security.

When Rwanda’s turn rolled around, no nation went in to stop it. Afterall, it was not in the interest of anybody to stop a bunch of Africans from killing each other. Everybody waited till the murders were over, then every nation including the UN rushed to see who could be first to offer up apologies, vowing that that sort of genocide would not be allowed to take place again in the world.

Right now as I am typing, there are people who are being systematically and deliberately exterminated in Darfur, Sudan. Is anybody doing anything to stop it? No. And I will tell you why. They are waiting for the genocides in Darfur to end, and then they will rush out to the microphones with their “apologies’ in hand and give the best speeches and then call it a day. Human Beings as a whole are not capable of understanding large scale murder. Stalin said it best, “one death is a tragedy, a million deaths is statistics”. When I talk to some of my Christian friends about genocide, they are horrified, they abhor it, they rebuke it, etc. But then I point out to them, the genocides that took place in the bible. When I point that out to them, they respond by saying “Oh he’s God, he can do whatever he wants” or they say “That was in the Old Testament” our God has changed, he is more merciful.” My friends were able to rebuke genocides committed by men, but they were incapable of rebuking genocides committed by a “God”?

In some cases, I’ve seen some of my Christian friends pray to God to stop the genocide taking place in Darfur, and I usually think to myself “What are these people praying for? Or who are they praying to? The same God who stood by and watched/ignored the cries/pleas/prayers of his own “chosen people (Jews)” as they got slaughtered by a dictator claiming to be doing “God’s Will”?
Now, why would that very same God now give a crap about a bunch of “Africans” getting slaughtered in the desert? Like forreal though, everyone knows that God does not give a crap about Africa or Africans.

My point is this, we as humans should learn to rebuke evil no matter who it is committed by. You can’t excuse Genocide on one level, then rebuke it on another level. Sooner or later, you become apathetic to genocide. I feel that we as humans have become “numb” to large scale deaths, afterall if the people being killed are not family, friends, relatives why should I care? This was the same mentality people had in World War two until Hitler decided to come for them as well. The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. People like you and I, who wake up every morning fully conscious of people being systematically slaughtered and we do nothing about it. What really pains me is the apathy, we really do not give two shits about people getting exterminated. I came across this quote concerning Apathy. "Apathy and evil. The two work hand in hand. They are the same, really, Evil wills it. Apathy allows it. Evil hates the innocent and the defenseless most of all. Apathy doesn't care as long as it's not personally inconvenienced"

In conclusion, the genocide in Darfur will continue, until one side gets tired of killing and the other side gets tired of dying. Then maybe, peace talks will start and then the “International Community” will again issue another apology vowing that this sort of “genocide” will not be allowed to take place in our world again.*STORY* Then fools like me, will go and do research papers on “The Genocide in Darfur” just like fools before me went and did research on the “Genocide in Rwanda” so that I can get a good grade. Why are we able to seat by and watch as human beings get slaughtered, and we do not even pressure our governments to do anything. Why? Because it does not affect us directly. Classic example of Human Selfishness but I summit to you, that genocide might not be happening to you right now, but one day it will surely come to your own country, your own tribe or even your own religious group.
"First they came for the Jews but I did not speak up - because I was not a Jew
Then they came for the Tutsis in Rwanda but I did not speak up - because I was not a Tutsi
Then they came for the Africans in Darfur but I did not speak up - because I was not an African in Darfur.
The day will come when people will come for "us" to, and there will be nobody to speak up for us.
Hitler of German was responsible for 21 million deaths.
Mao of China was responsible for 34 million deaths.
Stalin of Russia was responsible for 62 million deaths.
My Question to you all is : When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it??
Jesus himself said "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Saturday, October 17, 2009



I am sure you will find this refreshing. Something different from your normal religulous posts filled with utter narcissism and ignorance…fuck you controversy and blasphemy…hell awaits you muthafuckas. Now where was I? Yes refreshing! I hope you are not offended by the title of my blog, and if you are, fuck you too. See, I am a 20something year old Nigerian lesbian who takes pride in conforming to non conformism. Some of you might find my use of the word bitch offensive, and some perverts amongst you just want to masturbate to the sound of it; either way, I hope you all understand that this is not a display of sheer queerness (and I mean it literally).

The drive behind this post has nothing to do with the fact that perhaps I am struggling to shed every atom of cosmic hypocrisy in me, nor does it have anything to do with the fact that as an activist, I feel like women need to embrace the bitch in them. Rather, this blog was driven by a movie trailer I watched. The 2min 44sec movie trailer of “HEART OF MEN” due for release sometime next week captured a montage of lewd scenes filled with sex and murder. I swear at the end of this trailer, I pulled out the biggest masturbatory equipment I had and got to work. I mean it was a well thought out display of yansh, breast and toy guns with banger as bullets…everything you need in Nollywood.

This trailer has spurred a series of backlash especially from Nigerians and Ghanaians in the United States. Fucking hypocrites, why in the world would anyone who is obviously fucking their brains out complain about a bunch of exposed ass cracks on the big screen? Utter hypocrisy at its flyest is what I call it. On the most part, the fictional nature of movies serve as a similar or over exaggerated account and reenactment of real life events, so wetin be una problem? I commend the actresses who let their guards down despite the knowledge of possible outlandish actions of their fans.

These women owned the BITCH in them, call it what you will, but whether you are offended by the pictorial depiction of African women in that movie or not, we all do these things. We all fuck and we all enjoy the pleasure of orgasms, but that is another post for another day. For now, enjoy the movie trailer below and yeah, have a nice day. 

My name is Jezebel and I am a Bitch!


(Our friend "controversy" has just notified me of his decision to leave the blog. Apparently, there has been pressure from family and friends. He has been ordered to cease "posting/writing" so he shall be leaving the blog. He is not able to write a farewell post as any more posts might put him into deeper wahala. Furthermore, I and the other blog authors have decided to move the blog to a new URL. **. We will move to this URL come tuesday of next week) *Blasphemy*

(Now back to Enoch's post)

Let us use this opportunity to first thank God for its mercies.

While pondering why I had no ideas for today's post, I remembered Cornelius. My very first puppy as a kid. You see, I was such an evil little brat. At one point I even made an attempt to cook Cornelius alive in a makeshift pot! Well, that was a one time wicked act, but what I did pretty often involved getting the marble hallway wet with soapy water and then placing a bowl of food on the opposite end from Cornelius. I used to get a kick out of watching him knock his head around as he stumbles while running to the bowl. And when he got to it, I'll take the bowl to the other end. I wanted to feed a cruel psychological need just because I could.

I can see why as a kid It will be easy to miss the irony of my sadistic ways. I knew and thought little about the nature of our existence but now I can clearly see the correlation between my evil and God's sadism. Its almost like I can hear her snickering to herself in a Dr. evil kind of pose. "I'll create man and give him a full spectrum of consuming urges and I'll punish him for submitting to them."

Haven't got too many questions today. I'll just like the prayer warriors amongst us to say a thing or two about why; "God" gives us a brain and punishes for not having faith? Gives us a sexual drive and punishes for premarital sex? Gives us a lustful heart and yet condemns lust. The list of carnal longings is a long one.

In a way it is worse than Cornelius and I. It is more akin to my creating the dog and giving him a compelling longing for food solely for the purpose of entertaining myself with his soapy stumbles. Religious books might make it seem like God is trying to get us to some higher level of restraint abi spiritual maturity out of her love for us but I bet Cornelius felt the same too. No one knows if she is just ROTFLHFAO watching us struggle. Feeding a cruel psychological need just because she can. I say that's artfully sadistic.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Please before I go on, I do not really intend this post to be one in which I find a problem with the bible or anything. I feel that this should be a "chill" post, just follow me and think and lets get through this "less controversial post" today. Please open your bibles to "Hosea 1:1-10..

God commanded Hosea, prophet of Israel to basically go and marry a prostitute, sleep with her, make her his wife and use her to deliver babies that the lord would use as an example to showcase how much he detested his chosen people "jews".

God commanded/gave the go ahead to Hosea to go and marry a prostitute. First the woman was a prostitute, and when she got married she committed adultery. Hosea threw her out, and God told him to go and take her back again after she had gone back to her "whoring" ways. Hosea was already unequally yoked with this "whore" but he got a "pass" because God gave him the "greenlight" to commit this sins in his name.

Now if another pastor in this our times was to do something that went against God's teachings, but told us that God gave him a "pass" or that God "commanded" him to do it. Would we believe him/her or would we throw such a pastor out of the church. Would we not leave that particular church saying that that man of God had gone rogue and was now a "false prophet". My point is this, Hosea  the prophet was able to marry a prostitute/adulterer and the people did not question his claim that "God" told him to do it. They took him at his word when he said God told him to do it.

I am not sure whether any of you have heard about the tale of Carlton Pearson. He was a black preacher who was very popular, had a megachurch until suddenly he had an awakening. He started preaching that there was no hell, and that God had told him gays where supposed to be loved. He even went as far as preaching a gospel of "inclusion", that nobody was going to hell and that everybody was saved.

My point is this, this man claimed that God told him all these things, he says that he has been told by God to say "these things". So why did the church kick him out, he was literally tossed out of the church. Naturally, he was branded a heretic, shunned by his fellow preachers and if it was in the olden days, homeboy would have been strung up to a stake and burnt at that lovely stake.. Why would a preacher who had everything going good for him, suddenly risk the "err" of his fellow preachers and church members by preaching such stuff if what he was saying wasn't "TRUE"? Why would he suddenly start saying stuff he knew would get him in trouble? So apparently, he now preaches in a small church, gays, sinners, etc are welcome in his church and he preaches a gospel of inclusion.

When Hosea did something that went against God's teachings, he got a pass because God commanded him to do what he did, even though it was a sin. Carlton Pearson does something that goes agaisnt the teaching of the bible, and he is branded a heretic. Why the double standard? Where is the "FAITH"? Why do christians limit "God"? I mean he works in mysterious ways, so we should clearly not hold him to the standards we ourselves judge to be true. As i've previously pointed out, God does not necessarily have to obey/follow his own "laws/commandments" concerning homosexuals. Who says that God could not have changed his mind concerning "gays"? I mean it's not as if he can create another "Post New" Testament portion of the bible and let everybody know he has changed his mind like he did in the New Testament. But lets be honest with ourselves, even if God has "inspired" a writer to write another testament of the bible, which one of us is going to believe such bull? Even christians themselves would toss such a person who claims to have written a "Newer Testament" out of the church and probably have him/her killed. In the Old Testament, a whole lot of laws where made that were later repealed/amended in the New Testament by Jesus. For example, there was the "eye" for an "eye" law that was repealed by Jesus and other hosts of laws that were repealed. So, if God could do repeal some of his laws in the OT and then provide brand new ones for the NT, why is it impossible to think that he could now very well approve of "homosexuality"?

In conclusion, GOD APPROVES OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND HOMOSEXUALS ARE NOT GOING TO HELL!! according to the "man of God" Carlton Pearson. If you want to learn more about this preacher, the link to his videos will be posted below.

Carlton Pearson Link 1
Carlton Pearson Link 2
Carlton Pearson Link 3

Sunday, October 11, 2009



So I was just going to talk only about Slavery but I decided to touch on the subject of "Hair". Please if I see one more stupid ass blog talking about Hair I am going to shoot somebody. For the love of God, ladies please I take God beg you, NOBODY gives a shit about your hair, it doesn't matter if your as bald as your yansh or you rock weaves. NOBODY gives a shit, I don't get why this "Natural Hair vs Weave" thing is a topic. Honestly, don't you all have better shit to discuss than "Hair".I am starting to think that there are really some "insecurity" issues lying dormant behind all this "Hair" topic. I know myne whitman agrees with me lol, please hun help me explain to this females that it's just "HAIR". (Now back to my main topic).

Honestly, my pipo I am depressed o. Not severely depressed but I am weary, very very weary. I just got to thinking where did all that innocence we had as children go? When do we lose that innocence? And why is it that we do not fight more to keep that innocence. Before I go on, I need to address this issue. This blog is not set up to try to convert anybody away from their religion, I do not believe that anything I write in this blog can make anybody suddenly decide to stop being a christian/muslim etc. Rather the purpose of this blog is to honestly get everybody to :
1. Question with boldness.

2. Hold onto the truth, even if you don't like it, because it IS the truth.
3. Speak without fear
From time to time, I might come off sounding like a "know-it-all" but I am here to say that "Controversy" does not know it all. I simply try to "think" for myself and "ask questions" no matter how difficult the questions may be. I shall ask them.
What happened to our innocence? When I was a kid, I knew what was right and what was wrong innately. The innocence of our childhood made us able to detect evil from a mile away.But as I grew up, I started to justify some certain evils and gradually but slowly I started to compromise on evil and before I knew it my innocence was stripped from me.
The other day, while having a religious arguments with my friends both of them female. One akata, and the other Nigerian I asked two of them whether "slavery was a sin". The akata replied yes slavery was a sin, nigerian girl replied "no, that it was not a sin".The Nigerian Girl replied that slavery was wrong but it was not a sin. The akata babe was "shocked" that the Nigerian Girl could not see that "slavery" was a sin. The Nigerian babe did not want to admit that slavery was a sin because she knew I would then point to the fact that the bible approved of slavery. Honestly, at the end of the day I got the naija babe to admit that slavery in any shape or form is indeed a sin and just because the bible does not call it a sin does not mean that it is not a sin.

As a child if they had asked any one of us. "Is slavery a sin"? We would have answered with a unanimous "YES". I was shocked that in this day and age, I could ask somebody whether "Slavery was a sin" and the person would reply that it was wrong but not a sin. The other day my friend Reine said the same thing that slavery was not a sin. She justified it by stating that since the bible did not regard it as a sin, then it could not possibly be a sin. Honestly, am still boiling hot from that her statement, and am telling you it's people like Reine who would not have had a problem with casting "blacks as Three Fifths" when the U.S Constitution was written. So because a book that was written 2000 years ago did not state that "slavery is a sin" that means it is now ok to enslave people? That would mean that all those bastard plantation owners that treated blacks like shit are probably "chilling" in heaven sipping tequila? I mean, seeing as them enslaving people is not a sin, how can they possibly be in hell?

In conclusion, this is what I am trying to say. Every single one of us has a basic sense of what is right, wrong, evil, good, etc. Now slavery as a whole is a SIN because it is evil. Trying to justify it because a book  that claims to be the word of God, approves of it is nothing short of OUTRIGHT STUPIDITY.

Friday, October 9, 2009


Having one of those days so I decided to write a long winded letter.

Dear Jesus,

How are you doing? I guess that's a ridiculous question because you are the embodiment of all that is good. Scratch that, make it a third of all that is good. Its a third if you consider your father and that ghost dude. They both participate equally in the trinity. Wonder what it feels like to always share.

I was going to say hope you are having a nice day but you exist out of time. How can anybody compliment you sef? How can an imperfect mind compliment the perfect? Besides, as omniscient master of the universe you can have anything you want and you know my thoughts before they manifest. I have an idea though [Jesus, insert favorite self-compliment here].

Speaking of knowing thoughts, I've always wondered, how do you handle prayers? Do you intercept it in the prefrontal cortex or do you wait for the person to actually say the words? Well, I know in the case of the dumb, you'll work with their thoughts. If you don't, "nothing for dem". Is that a privilege you afford them like handicap parking or do you treat all of us the same? If yes, what about the retarded?

Speaking of prayers, do you handle all earthly prayers in realtime? In parallel as they come? What about other sentient intelligent lifeforms in distant galaxies did you die for them? Do you handle their prayers too? I would imagine that since you know all prayers before they are prayed, you can just schedule your response to all prayers for every soul that would ever exist. You could do that way ahead of time. Thinking of it, you could have done that just prior to making Adam. Just a thought.

Baba, I was wondering. That time you came back around after those Roman soldiers had fucked you up with the cross and all. How did you do the ascension moves? Because you came in human form yet you "ascended into heaven". I was going to ask how you handled breathing when you got into space but then you probably weren't even breathing at all if you made it to the higher atmosphere with the low air pressure and stuff. Why did you even need to ascend? Why didn't you just slide into the spiritual dimension? Like Justin Timberlake usually does in his videos but this time from one dimension to another. What were all them space moves about? You of all people know that space does not lead to heaven. Na you make am. Abi it was just for our ignorant benefit? Since that's what we thought then? Nawao.

Well, I just have only one prayer. Abeg, can you sign off on your earthly moves? I'm having trouble differentiating your deeds from random fortunate events. That would really help. I know you know all, but let me suggest that You can use some equivalent of that "fresh" sticker we find on fruits or sometimes some girls put on their cleavage/boobs in the club. Let us know when to say "Thank God" and when to say "Lucky Me".

I have this very offensive thing I want to say to you but I don't want to give the blog readers cerebral atrophy so since you know the thought [insert it here]

You know I have too much to ask but I just joined L.A. (Lengthy Anonymous). I'm trying to cut down on the lengthy posts.

Anyways, Na me dey hail Oh. Your Atheist creature that believes you are nothing more than an idea. You know, the guy addressing this to you just to reach those that think you dey chill for some third heaven abi fourth heaven abi space, while in reality you just dey chill for their heads as nothing more than an idea. This is where my letter ends. Not like you read it. After all, before molding Eve you already knew the contents of this letter.

If we ever meet(yeah right) I'll teach you some sort of a gangster handshake that only few can do using those nail holes in your palm. Your dad would probably approve. I've always suspected he makes fun of them. Does he tease you by trying to hang paintings/pictures from those holes?

Yours sincerely,
Enoch. (not the other one oh!. But you know who already. silly me)

PS: Speaking of molding EVE, were you attracted to her? I can imagine Adam waiting forever while you were caressing in the name of molding. Don't take that the wrong way, I'm just curious. I'm asking because you threw a fit when she put on her clothes in the garden. Kinda like a peeping tom would.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


So I take a Death, Dying and Religion class in school and yesterday my Professor assigned a Funeral paper. We are suppose to plan our own death and write our own memorial service. Can you imagine? Honestly I loved the idea, but a lot of people in class especially the females were flipping out. One girl was crying and said I am only 19, I can't imagine dying in the next 6 months. I was laughing out loud throughout the whole class, because a whole lot of people seriously could deal with the reality of "death" I wanted to take her by her arm and shake her and let her know, "You are going to die, like die, like you will be deader than dead. You will cease to EXIST. Accept it and Believe it". But anyhoo I digress...
So in the olden days when I was still living in darkness I wanted to go to heaven just so I could avoid hell and it's extreme hotness but right now the boredom of heaven seems worse compared to the "hotness" in heaven. But miss ttolla reminded me about this topic yesterday, honestly yall what are we going to be doing in heaven for an eternity? Praising and Worshipping God for eternity? It's almost as ridiculous as the muslim one of 70 virgins, honestly yall lets think about this for a second. So as a good christian, you die, you go to heaven, judgement day comes and you pass blah blah blah. Then you go to sleep, you wake up then you go worshipping the almighty, maybe they'll assign ttolla since she's a newbie to be in charge of "cleaning the drums" and maybe they'll assign honey91 to be in the choir etc. My point is this, what kind of "afterlife" will this be? Can you imagine waking up everyday to "praise and worship"? Am even going to assume that we will be allowed to "sleep", but who knows we might not be allowed to sleep, the almighty might require his daily dose of "praise and worship" 24/7.
I've always had this theory about why Devil rebelled against God. Lucifer/Devil was known as the choir leader right? He had the most beautiful voice, so it would stand to reason that maybe he got tired of singing for the almighty everyday and managed to persuade 1/3 of the disgruntled angels in heaven to rebel with him. Because think about it, what kind of charisma/charm could lucifer have possessed that he managed to persuade a whole "1/3" of all angels in heaven? It stands to reason that there must have been something more that motivated the angels to follow Lucifer and I believe that it was probably the need to stop "praising and worshipping" a God for eternity. Honestly we need to think about this, if indeed there is a heaven and there is a hell. Then do we seriously want to spend an eternity praising and worshipping God? I mean even here on earth, a whole lot of us can't stand to be in church past 4 hours  or we begin to melt.
As for hell, how is it possible to burn for eternity? Am assuming that we wouldn't be getting any sleep while in hell so that would mean we would be walking around "burning"? Do you know how many people would be in hell by now? Almost 50 billion human beings since the creation of earth, and you mean to tell me 50 billion people will burn for eternity? So lets say we burn for the first 1000 years, don't you guys think that after 2000 years of burning a whole lotta people would become "numb" to the burning? And lets say we don't become numb, so we just burn for eternity? And for what purpose? We humans did not ask to be created, God being all knowing knew we would fail, so what is the point of all this like honestly? "I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse". In closing, I came across this quote and it made me laugh.
 "Jesus hardly made the greatest sacrifice. He knew he would be resurrected anyway." Meaning, how was Jesus death a sacrifice, if he knew that he would be resurrected three days later?? Merriam Webster's dictionary defines a sacrifice as a ": destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else b : something given up or lost.
So my point is, Jesus hardly surrendered anything for the sake of something else, he knew fully well that he would be resurrected.

Monday, October 5, 2009



This is a very very simple thing, if you are a christian and you listen to worldly music, you are polluting the "temple of God" that exists inside of you. Worldly/Secular music is music such as rap/rock/metal rock that do not glorify the almighty. EDJ my catholic friend, will argue that this is not true. Please my fellow christians, set her straight. My friend tagged me in a note on facebook talking about this "christians listening to secular music ish". It is very clear that christians who listen to such music are going to "hell" because it is simple "hypocrisy". You can't claim to be christian and then listen to such ungodly music, what kind of example are you setting for we who are in the world? I will assume that upto 75% of christians listen to secular music and even I myself when I was a christian use to listen to secular music.
I use to be a choir leader when I was still a christian, and I use to remix secular songs and make them into christian songs. I remember taking songs like "Imagine That" by styl plus and turning it into a christian song and that day there was a visting preacher to my church. After the service, he called me aside and told me he loved the praise and worship and how I have a gift for leading people in praise/worship. But he let me know something about me remixing "secular songs and making them into christian gospel songs".
He gave me this analogy about the "remixing" of songs "Controversy never cook God's soup in Devil's pot". Now that analogy honestly opened my eyes then, because I always knew deep down that that was what I was doing. So in regards to christians who think that they will still make it to heaven, after listening to such secular music day and night and convincing/deluding yourself that "Yes, I am going to heaven" I say to you. "No dull yourself" All of you who listen to such music shall join I, Enoch and Blasphemy on our flight to hell and I must say that I am happy with this fact lol. If I have been right with my criticism of the bible/christianity, then christians such as yourselves will not go to Heaven, because there is no Heaven. If christians such as yourselves are right, then most of you will still not go to Heaven, because most christians are hypocrites." This knowledge makes me chuckle, because honestly from my perspective it's a Win/Lose position, but for most of you and I will venture to say that for about 95% of you, it is indeed a LOSE/LOSE situation. Whole lot of religious hypocrites out there. I will leave you all with this quote "Go to heaven for the climate, and to hell for the company".


My Beliefs, My Experience, and Setting the Record Straight..


Well, hello. I thought I would take an opportunity to introduce myself. I am Controversy's cousin, but as you will soon notice he and I disagree on a lot things, especially religion. I'm glad to be joining this site as a proud, Born-Again, non-denominational Christian. I am not stupid, I am not brainwashed, I am not uneducated (I am getting a double-major in Biology and Creative Writing, Pre-Med. Yes, I want to be an OB/GYN after medical school, and if that grosses you out, well, someone has to do it, right?). I am a fundamentalist when it comes to the Bible, and I am always up for a good discussion of actual, Biblical text... but when it comes to personal beliefs, honestly I won't waste my breath fighting because there is nothing to talk about between me and a potential opponent unless that person also beleives that the Bible is the Truth and God's Word.

When I was younger, being a Christian was something that was a part of me mainly because of my mother, and the fact that it made me feel good. But when I went through my first year of college, I was on my own and little by little I began to compromise the standards that I'd always secretly wanted to break. I didn't drink, do drugs, or have sex (proud virgin talking), but I did end up in a relationship that I shouldn't have been in, and when I broke out of that relationship, I went through a very hard time. It wasn't exactly depression, but it was very close to it. I felt so lost and so bereft and so raw with pain... I had never felt that kind of loss before. Sure, I broke up with him at my mother's request because she saw the change in my character and she knew I needed to get back on track. But I really liked him and even though I knew he was bad for me, we had really good times together and the attraction between us was so strong...

It would take so much more than this blog post to describe how lost I felt. It was at this time that I rediscovered my connection with Jesus. Before you click away to another blog post, hear me out. I repented to God for turning away from Him and I began to pray and read my Bible again. I read the Psalms over and over, because my self-worth was so low and I needed to be reminded of how God loves me. It didn't happen overnight, nor in a week, nor a month (it took time for me to break myself down, it would take time for me to build myself up), but God gave me the strenght to go through the day-to-day and one day I woke up and I was over my ex. Basically, over weeks and weeks of prayer and dedication, I discovered the goodness of God for myself without my parents' help, and I realized that I truly couldn't live without Him. The peace and the joy that I feel daily is overwhelming, and I wasn't feeling like this when I was disconnected from my Maker.

I need to take a break here and stress to you people: if you are curious/doubtful about God, ASK HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU! Do NOT rely on what OTHER people think. I'm not bashing the other writers on this blog, but you should view this blog as what it is: a gathering of opinions. Why don't you try crying out to God and ask Him to show himself to you?

That would have been a perfect place to end, wouldn't it? But I'm not finished :) A very wonderful young man by the name of Controversy asked me a question about Christianity that I couldn't answer at the time, and I felt very bad, because it was a very smart and valid question. He asked me over Skype, "If God is so good, then why did He command the Israelites to destroy the inhabitants of many towns as they marched toward the Promised Land?" Well, I'm going to throw a lot of information at you all in a short time, so hold on to your office chairs.

Basically, the Bible says that "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever." This means that the same love that He has now is the same love He had back then in the New Testament. The problem with most people is that their view of God is warped. IF God is love, and if He is PERFECT as the Bible says, then He must equally hate. God does NOT hate his creations. He hates the things that destroy his people, like sin and wickedness---the people that God ordered the Israelites (who were his chosen people) to destroy, were people who were dedicated to sin, wickedness, and false gods; God did not want these people to lead the Israelites astray and lead them to destruction! On the flip side, you also read in the Bible what happened when Israel failed to carry out God's instructions. The tribes that worshiped false gods attacked Israel. NOT because God was punishing them, but because by sinning, the Israelites removed themselves from God's protection.

In conclusion, Controversy is right that God is love, but the thing is that God is also holy, so holy that He cannot be around sin. Just because a lot of people have venom towards the Most High God doesn't make Him any less of what the Bible tells us He is.

And that's all for now folks :) I'm gonna do a follow-up post on this later. Time for bed...

Saturday, October 3, 2009


God in heaven. I am about to blaspheme in your name. Don't sit there and watch me do this. Strike me dead before I can finish this sentence. Ok how about this sentence? You know what? I'll give you till the end of the post.

Well if you can read this I guess he/she/it is having an orgy or perhaps a hangover from a slumber party. Please no comments defending God. He clearly wouldn't do it for himself and no comments about that "thou shalt not test God" crap either. Any such comments as well as comments claiming I'm hell bound, makes the case this post intends to.

My last post got criticized for being somewhat cryptic. This one would keep metaphors to a minimum and avoid compound sentences. I'll try to reduce the "I don't know what he is talking about" effect. Was going to go full controversial today but I don't have the time to tackle the ensuing comments. So, the controversy dial is on moderate.

Enoch believes there is as much evidence for a God as there is for the Easter Bunny. And as stated in his last post, Enoch believes faith is just a cool word for subtle insanity. He lusts after being part of something larger than himself and the knowledge of a higher purpose but does not let that urge lead him to grab onto any belief regardless of its legitimacy just for the sake of quenching his longing. Enoch was born a catholic and developed doubts after he couldn't reconcile confessing his "sins" to a mere mortal like himself. That disgust formed the core of what grew to be his outright rejection of all things faith. Enoch believes that Kids should not be groomed in any one religion and so deserve the right to choose for themselves prejudice-free upon reaching adulthood. He also believes that Christians born into the faith are too conditioned to see the folly of their beliefs and later in life are often just too cowardly to reject it as the lie that it is. Cowardice that really isn't due to any fault of theirs.

My most amusing recurrent experience involves Christians trying to convince me of the existence of God with quotes from a book whose history they know little about (A book they believe without doubt solely because the book demands that they should while threatening death for doubting.) And this is true for a disproportionate number of christians. They know Paul, Mathew, Mark, Luke, john, etc But have rarely ever heard of Papias of Hierapolis, Irenaeus of Lyons, Eusebius of Caesarea or any other of the handful of early Christian scholars that determined who authored what book in the Gospels. $60 bucks says 80% of Christians reading this do not know these men and the role they played in putting together the New Testament. They rarely know&couldn't care less that modern historians can not confidently decipher authorship of the gospels.

You see, that is my problem. Even if you are determined to believe, don't you owe yourself at least 5 to 10 minutes worth of research to have an objective sense of the history of the book you want to believe? As I have said repeatedly on this blog and as I often ask Christians; Who wrote the New Testament books? How do you know so? If learned folks can't tell, how can you? Do you know there were several books claiming to be authored by the disciples that were rejected? How do you know those were not the real books? How do you know that the devil hasn't carried out a sinister plot designed for you to read& believe crap?

Shouldn't it give a devout follower of Christ cause for concern to learn that the three authors of the new testament that speak about the timing of Jesus' birth give inconsistent details? Mathew claims it was in the time of Herod who died 4BC. Luke claims it was in the time of Augustus whose reign began in AD6 and John throws his own dice and claims its 18BC. I have said it a million times and I will say it again. If those scholars had their own agenda or are of poor judgment how can anyone be certain of the authorship of the Gospels? And if you insist on believing anyway, how can you confidently believe stories about imaginary winged creatures and a human-esque God from the same people that can't get right the date of birth of their lord and savior who they walked the earth with? And even if it were authored by the real disciples why are we obliged to believe them and say not Joseph Smith or Muhammad etc?

Little parable:
Imagine you've got $200,001 in your pocket(huge pocket) and some dude wants to sell you a treasure map that leads to a billion dollar gold chest. He demands $200,000 for this map. The map has a scribbling on the right corner that claims it is authentic. It also makes one of those claims common to silly chain emails; "If you doubt this map and do not seek the treasure, you die in three days." Wouldn't it be gullible and cowardly to buy this map and believe it because the map itself claims its legit? Wouldn't it be just as cowardly to reject suggestions of subterfuge because you've spent all your life seeking the fictitious treasure? If the treasure was eternal life, wouldn't the map deserve the least bit of research and oodles of doubt?

Lets call a spade a spade. A good number of religious folks/Christians are just gullible cowards and others are driven by self interest to make it to heaven by all means. While some are cowards because of the fear of eternal damnation others are cowards because they've invested too much in a lie and are just too cowardly to cut their losses. Too scared to even consider an opposing idea let alone accept one as truth especially if it is more depressing than the lie they've embraced. Not to mention the ones that are too cowardly to imagine/handle life without a higher purpose. Too cowardly to see life as the empty struggle that it is, so they make up fact-free feelgood stories and believe them and call it having faith. Truth makes no accommodations for feelings.

About half a dozen more questions:

If the hell portion was taken out of religion how many religious followers would remain? If the heaven portion was taken out of religion, how many followers would loose motivation? If Jesus,Allah, yaweh, shows up with a global megaphone and goes like "Hey guys, we've decided heaven and hell were bad ideas. We hereby scrap them. see you later." How many religious folks would scream "Thank God!!" and how many would want to litigate?

Why does the Cristian God deem it necessary to threaten her creatures with eternal fire? And tantalize them with everlasting life? If she really wanted to know those that love her why doesn't she just leave the hell/heaven part out of her book and surprise us after death? Is there any such thing as an omnipotent omniscient being? Is such a being "wise enough to make a rock it can't lift?" I don't think any all powerful being that demands love and discipleship under the threat of eternal death deserves either. Creator or not, hellfire or hellfreezer; She should spend eternity alone or with her singing stones/whatever. But then she is no more real than the tooth fairy that controls the sphincter in my ass.

Is "Christian" a synonym for "gullible coward in pursuit of imaginary self-interests"?

Friday, October 2, 2009


First of all, It appears that we've lost our wonderful contributor Sacred. Details are still sketchy as to why/what made her make the decision to terminate her "contract" with us. She is a great person and she shall be sorely missed.
Now today, I have taken up Myne Whitman's challenge and I am going to let you guys know what my belief system is.
I believe in God, or for lack of a better word I believe in a Supreme Being. There is somebody out there who is more superior than any human being, and I credit that person for creating human beings but apart from that, this supreme being has been non-existent in our everday lives. For those who would beg to differ, I would give you examples of people in Sudan/Congo/Somalia/Uganda and all those improverished places who have cried for their "lord" to come to their rescue. Their cries have fallen on deaf ears.  I do not believe that humans evolved from "apes" or any evolution theory crap like that. Now this is where I differ from most religious people, I do not believe in "revealed religions".Revealed religions are religions in which people claim that God revealed to them his words/instructions/commands/guidelines etc. I do not believe in that. I worship truth and I strive to follow it everyday of my life. I believe that the hands that help are one million times better than the lips that pray. I draw inspiration from Michael Jackson's Heal the World song and Nickelback's If Everyone Cared song and I firmly believe that humans should strive to make the world a better place, I am usually cynical about displaying "mushy mushy" lovey dovey stuff but I honestly do believe that we humans should love one another and care for each other. But unfortunately, we humans are always distracted from the big picture through politics/religion etc. I am a deist who believes in the power of reason/evidence/proof/logic, anything that starts with "Faith" is immediately discarded because I ultimately believe that anything that can be "asserted" without proof can be "dismissed" without proof. I believe in the religion of reason the gospel of this world; in the development of the mind, in the accumulation of intellectual wealth, to the end that man may free himself from superstitious fear, to the end that he may take advantage of the forces of nature to feed and clothe the world."
Now before I go on, let me post the rules/commandments/principles every "God" should have/follow, these are principles I feel that every God who claims to be a good God should follow.
 - be a good/perfect and not dabble in "gambling" with human lives. *Job 1:1-14*
 -  believe in equality/fairness for all and love everybody equally. 2 Samuel
 - not play favoritism/cut slack for anybody.If you commit a crime, you pay for it.Nobody is above the law.
 - not cut kill/maim people for stupid reasons.
 - not display sadistic/psychopathic/genocidal behavior.
 - not see children in Somalia/Darfur/Uganda dying and not do anything to alleviate their suffering.
 - have serious compassion and mercy for all those who cry out for his help.
 - punish bad behavior and reward good behavior.
- lead by example, if you expect humans to follow your laws, a good God should follow the same laws also.

I believe that these points cover what we would expect from a fair and good God, and this principles are what I feel any God who claims to be a good God should follow. Now, if I pick up a book/bible which claims to be the "Word of God" and while reading that book I come across some questionable behavior that makes me "question' why my "good God" would fail to obey/follow the  points mentioned above. I would prefer to doubt the validity of that book, than to question that my God who is a good God could ever do some of those despicable things that "bible/book" credits him with doing.. So again I hope I have succeeded in letting you guys realise that I question the bible's "truth value" and whether every scripture/word/verse/chapter in it is truly God Breathed. I do not disrespect God by questioning/doubting that a book written by men/voted on by men could be his book. A book/bible that showcases my God as being a sexist, a psychopath/Sadist, a racist God, a God who believed in slavery, a mass murderer who had a PHD and Masters in Genocide(The only difference between God and Adolph Hitler is that God is more proficient at genocide. Nobody should blame hitler or even take fault with his actions? He was simply stunting like his maker? His maker killed as many more Jews than Hitler, enslaved them or let them be enslaved for 450 years so please let us not fault him for emulating his maker). If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.I dare say that if there is a God, he would reward me at the end of the day for defending him from all these lies being touted about him by these "religious institutions". I came across this quote and decided to share with you all "We are told in the Pentateuch, that god, the father of us all, gave thousands of maidens, after having killed their fathers, their mothers, and their brothers, to satisfy the brutal lusts of savage men. If there be a god, I pray him to write in his book, opposite my name, that I denied this lie for him."

So there you have it, I hope that I have succeeded in showing you what I believe? It is not my intention to convert anybody to my belief, nor do I intend to convince you that my own "belief system" is the True one. All Enoch,Blasphemy and I urge you all to do is to "Question your beliefs" the same way we question ours. And that we all might one day succeed in finding for truth.