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Saturday, October 17, 2009

I THANK YOU OH SADISTIC GOD


(Our friend "controversy" has just notified me of his decision to leave the blog. Apparently, there has been pressure from family and friends. He has been ordered to cease "posting/writing" so he shall be leaving the blog. He is not able to write a farewell post as any more posts might put him into deeper wahala. Furthermore, I and the other blog authors have decided to move the blog to a new URL. *truth-don-die.blogspot.com*. We will move to this URL come tuesday of next week) *Blasphemy*

(Now back to Enoch's post)

Let us use this opportunity to first thank God for its mercies.

While pondering why I had no ideas for today's post, I remembered Cornelius. My very first puppy as a kid. You see, I was such an evil little brat. At one point I even made an attempt to cook Cornelius alive in a makeshift pot! Well, that was a one time wicked act, but what I did pretty often involved getting the marble hallway wet with soapy water and then placing a bowl of food on the opposite end from Cornelius. I used to get a kick out of watching him knock his head around as he stumbles while running to the bowl. And when he got to it, I'll take the bowl to the other end. I wanted to feed a cruel psychological need just because I could.

I can see why as a kid It will be easy to miss the irony of my sadistic ways. I knew and thought little about the nature of our existence but now I can clearly see the correlation between my evil and God's sadism. Its almost like I can hear her snickering to herself in a Dr. evil kind of pose. "I'll create man and give him a full spectrum of consuming urges and I'll punish him for submitting to them."

Haven't got too many questions today. I'll just like the prayer warriors amongst us to say a thing or two about why; "God" gives us a brain and punishes for not having faith? Gives us a sexual drive and punishes for premarital sex? Gives us a lustful heart and yet condemns lust. The list of carnal longings is a long one.

In a way it is worse than Cornelius and I. It is more akin to my creating the dog and giving him a compelling longing for food solely for the purpose of entertaining myself with his soapy stumbles. Religious books might make it seem like God is trying to get us to some higher level of restraint abi spiritual maturity out of her love for us but I bet Cornelius felt the same too. No one knows if she is just ROTFLHFAO watching us struggle. Feeding a cruel psychological need just because she can. I say that's artfully sadistic.

18 comments:

Lady X said...

Ok You're really sick. Why would you do that to a puppy!

Controversy said...

@ Enoch
I hate puppies anywayz.
Bravo, Bravo..

@ I'll just like the prayer warriors amongst us to say a thing or two about why; "God" gives us a brain and punishes for not having faith? Gives us a sexual drive and punishes for premarital sex? Gives us a lustful heart and yet condemns lust. The list of carnal longings is a long one.

Blind faith is an odd gift to return to the creator of human intelligence

ttlolla said...

There has to be a reason why we have these emotions if we are supposed to live our lives contrary to them


You children!!!!!!

Azazel said...

Lol what reason could that be ttolla? me i wonder o.

Myne Whitman said...

Ohhh, I'll miss Controversy.

Anyway, nice post Enoch...

miss.fab said...

Why would you do that to that poor puppy! Evil, evil you! And lol @ Controversy (/Azazel) for applauding you. Both of you need to be shot!

Ok I kid, I kid.

So er, I may have missed when you talked about this, but why do you think God is female again?

Enoch said...

Please those of you that are religious say a short prayer for Controversy. That God may not let him backslide into religion.

And those that are inclined to be atheist please don't laugh at them while they pray.

@ttlolla
Please let us know when it is revealed to you.

@Controversy
lol@h8 puppies.
Deep @Blind faith is an odd gift to return to the creator of human intelligence.

We are going to miss you here. Bro. Keep not keeping the faith.

@Azazel
U must be new here. ttlolla will give you the run around now.

@Myne
Just having fun as usual.

@Miss.fab
I like to satirize silly beliefs. One of such beliefs is our tendency to anthropomorphize God and assign such an entity a gender.

So I use the full spectrum of pronouns to refer to "her" including "him" and "it". i.e. "Thank God for its mercies" was not a typo.

I refer to God as a feminine deity most often to appeal to the feminist in some and because I like women a lot so it makes for a better mental image which is appealing since I'm a very visual person.

But don't get it twisted. I don't believe there is a God.

Enoch said...

@Lady x
I don't do such anymore. I was very young and Christian at the time.

Lady X said...

Enoch: That's very good to know!

Azazel said...

Lol it's illegal to treat dogs badly in california o

Tisha said...

i am so glad you are living

i won't even try to find your blog because you so do not edify me or anyone else.

no wonder leggy doesn't like you, neither do i, i am only attracted to people who add value, think about it.

nigerian drama queen, please send me an invite.

Dark Neo said...

ROTFLMAO!! I would have loved to see that puppy try .... why didn't I ever think of that!?!

With you and God its just like the puppy only you cant see the food you are supposed to BELIEVE its there and run across the slippery floor. still LMAO!

Azazel said...

Lmao @ Tisha
Damn gurl u really do "follow follow" tomuch..
Please tell me that your younger than leggy. Because if ur older than her and ur ass is here saying stuff like "No wonder leggy does not like you" then I am ashamed for u. Wth?
Wat are u doing followin an 18 yr old teenager around self? So if leggy tells u to jump, am sure ur ass asks her how high. Lmao such childishness.. It's ok, i don't blame u. It's the immaturity in you, coming out.

juiceegal said...

My own with the Tisha babe is that i don't understand why she is going round on people's blogs asking Nigerian drama queen to invite her..if NDQ wanted to invite you to her blog she would have done so..clearly she doesn't so pls stop going round in pple's comment boxes whining about how NDQ Should invite u..na by force?? i'm tired of seeing this everywhere abeg.

Azazel said...

Thank u o Juicegaal..
Please tisha, heed juicegaals advice

EDJ said...

Ha I knew his family was not as cool with his beliefs as he thought!

Parents try to act like they are ok with stuff until they realise that it is NOT just a phase.
Sha, that sucks. I just wanna know how they knew? Wth mehn...

Azazel said...

Serious Persecution in high places.

Tisha said...

@azazel
no comments
am bigger than that.