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Thursday, April 22, 2010

IF THERE WAS A COUP IN HEAVEN, HOW WOULD WE FIND OUT??


Some of you will say that Azazel (abiakwala) has come again with his controversial self, but please make una permit me to entertain your minds for just 5 minutes.

Do any of you think that it is possible for God to be killed? Some of you are like, I cannot believe he just said that but please please before you shut me out, understand why I asked this question. The other day I got to thinking, and I started to wonder why is it that we have this notion that Devil was the 'loser' in the coup that took place in heaven? First Devil got control of the earth and he also controls hell, so what exactly did he lose? He took over God's creation(earth) and now he is known as the prince/king of the earth so in my estimation the devil pretty much gained a significant amount of power. But I digress sha, back to my question about whether God can be killed. The devil is a smart and intelligent guy abi? Now tell me throughout history people who would be former coup leaders have usually done two things to the leaders whom they seek to overthrow. They have either executed the leader or they've thrown the leader in Jail. Now I got to thinking, when Devil was planning this coup d'etat he must have had a plan on how to overthrow God and take the thrown for himself. One does not just plan a coup, without filling in all the blanks. So Devil either had two options when it came to how to get rid of God, he could either 'kill/execute' him or he could throw God in Jail. Apparently, Devil's coup did not suceed 100% but one can say he came out with a few victories. It just makes me wonder sha, what was devil's plan to deal with God if he had won the coup, Kill God? or Throw God in Jail?

Moving on to the title of this blogpost, how would we on earth know if today or tomorrow there was a '2nd Coup' in heaven? Who would come to inform us? BBC/Reuters/CNN/NTA no dey heaven so how would the news reach us? Some of you will say that it is ludicrous to think that there would be a 2nd coup in heaven and to those who would say that, I say to you your thinking is baloney. If Lucifer could scheme in his heart and form the ambition to overthrow God, it is folly to think that another angel or other angels cannot scheme to overthrow God as well. I mean lets think about it, the devil was able to persuade 1/3 of the angels in heaven to follow him. There are several reasons why they would choose to follow God
1. Devil's Charisma
2. Discontent with God's rule
3. Personal Ambitions

I seriously doubt that 1/3 of the angels in heaven followed the devil because of his charisma, I am more inclined to think that they followed him because of their discontent with God's rule. Now if there were 1/3 of angels who were discontent with God's rule, is it not folly to think that there aren't or weren't others left behind who sat on the fence and remained neutral. So if a coup were to happen today in heaven, how exactly would we find out? Most of us would certainly not believe anybody who got 'God/Devil Inspired' to write another Holy Book detailing it as we have become extra cynical and skeptical in this generation so how would we find out about a Coup? 

This weekend I shall be co-hosting Vera's show and I hope it's going to be fun. Yall should tune in and listen. 
Yall see what being a celebrity can lead to? Before when I was a nobody Vera did not invite me on her show, now that I've become a somebody 'Suddenly' they want me on the show. Haha I am kidding o, serious jokes. 

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

SADISM


There is beauty in the art of sadism. We were taught that light is the opposite of darkness and good has a negative correlation to bad, but I think everything exists for a reason. The bungee jumpers and the fuckers who would dare raise a razor to an innocent child's face. The very existence of both amazes me, and even though our society forces us to be taciturn or ignorant to the beauty in those things that are stigmatized as "evil."

I acknowledge the fact that they are all able to co-exist in the same realm. How dare we label and judge others, all in the name of existentialism or shall I call it pure double standards! I have flaws, so do a lot of you. You want and ask for your loved ones and acquaintances to embrace your flaws and accept them, yet you capitalize on the shortcomings of others and blame it on some subconsciously innate experience that must have shaped their being.

It is convenient, it is pointing a finger at someone, forgetting what happens to the remaining four, it is only natural...we are only human, and we should not let our prejudice nature get the best of us...but don't take it from me, cos I just judged you.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

AZAZEL'S 100 POST

I think this post is my 100th post and well I am grateful to blogsville for giving me the oppurtunity to share my 'ideas'. *cough cough*. I remember I started out with the help of Chari and Buttercup and back then I really needed all the help I could get.


A lot has happened to me ever since then, I developed some serious friendships with people I met here on blogsville, every single one of you that I follow is a cool human being.

My first week here was ehn bloody, leggy almost tore me apart but she did not know that the annointing that was in me was greater than the annointing that was in her. Now I and leggy are very good friends.(I Hope?)

Back then I use to mock 'blogsville celebrities' and I use to make sure that I did my blog rounds faithfully so that people would comment back on my own posts... But these days after becoming a blogsville celebrity *cough cough*, me no dey send anymore. If I have time to read your post I read it, if I no get time I don't. Whether you comment on my post or no comment, somebody must sha comment. LWKMD.

Thanks to everyone who supported this blog, and thanks to all my wonderful contributors. A whole lot of the contributors on this blog are people I hold in serious awe. Very smart individuals, even though most of you might not agree with their religious leanings. Somebody asked me the other day why I let 'Messiah' post the God the Pimp post. I have never been the sort of person to censor anybody or anything, whether it be bad or good. I believe that once you put everything out there, reasonable and rationale people can reach conclusions based on what they've read and seen. So to anybody who was offended by that post, you can like to go take a nap or I can call SB to come beat you with a shoe. *I swear I was cracking up when I read that 'I will beat you with a shoe' comment by Sugarbelly*. I think that babe is the female version of me on blogsville, to controversial jare.

Mehn there was a time on blogsville when drama was fun, but seriously though some of these older blogsville chaps should know better than to feed into nonsense that drags them into adversity. Trust me no one loves drama more than me, but as one gets older one tires of it. PEACE BE UNTO ALL OF YOU ON BLOGSVILLE.

Anywayz I wish I could honestly write more personal blogposts, because I think there's a lot of myself that I could share more but people that I don't want to find out about my blog always end up finding out.
I honestly think a lot, and I am deciding whether to stop thinking that much or just take it slow. My dad always tells me that it's only somebody who is comfortable in life that has a lot of time to think about 'outrageous things' and I agree with him. If I was working in Ajegunle/Surulere/Oshodi as a bus conductor, my mind would not be going far places. But seeing as it does, I like it that way.
I've been to the 2Face concert, to the Timaya Concert and it was fun. Btw guys, the Psquare concert will be on July 9th in the Bay Area, Oakland. Contact me if you need more info concerning that.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

God the Pimp


Before I speak my mind on this blogpost, I’m going to have to warn my fellow readers that this contains some hardcore shit. This post contains a little bit of sexual references and I’d advice those below the age of 18 and above the age of 72 to please leave. This is also not recommended for the closed minded or for the weak stomachs, and if you accuse people of blaspheming a lot, then you might also want to leave too. This is also not for people with no sense of humor or with little recognition of wit and sarcasm. Since I have taken the precaution to caution the cautious, I thereby have no responsibility over your actions of anger and hate after reading this post. For those of you who dared stay, please feel free to kick back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy a laugh while exercising your ability to think rationally, after all it's only a satire.

First of all, I’m quite an unconventional thinker, what people call life I call a casino, where there are winners and losers, gambling to survive where every decision made could be the last. What people call a kitchen I call a chemistry lab, where cooks become scientists, mixing, boiling and cooking up substances that satisfies the stomach and energizes the rest of the body. And when people say God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, I say God the Pimp. Think about it for a sec. Do you know how many people are currently in a personal relationship with this same man? The other day I was browsing facebook, when I stumbled upon this one lady’s page. On her info, the relationship status read: In a relationship with Jesus Christ. If only she knew that she wasn’t the only one in his life. In fact, He has been cheating on her with many others whom just like her, are in a personal relationship with Him. Now if it were any other guy, the girl would have been heartbroken knowing that she was only one of many, but this Jesus pimping is on a whole ‘nother level. But you know what? I think Jesus got his pimping from his dad, Baba God, just look at the story of Mary aka Iya Jesu: Baba God sent an angel to tell Mary that Baba God wan give am belle. Mary co-operated and that’s how she became Iya Jesu. Now let’s analyze this properly, first of all, God sent an angel to spit game for him. I mean, you wan try levelz? That's equivalent to a man sending his houseboy to go and get a lady in his bedroom. You have to be seriously pimping for that event to occur. Second of all, God did this knowing Mary was already engaged to Joseph. God made Mary CHEAT ON JOSEPH!!! And some of you may be in denial and say, "Well God really didn't have sex with Mary," and I'd have to reply, "how naive are you?" Keep in mind that all throughout the Bible, God was referred to as "He." The only time the word "He" is mentioned is to describe a male specie, or something with a penis. So that actually makes God, a sexual being, and with that as a given we can conclude He had sex with Mary to create Jesus (and might I add, it was also pre-marital sex because God never married Mary). The funny thing is, I'm not the only one who thinks God had sex with Mary, as a matter of fact, this is a common Mormon belief. A little sideshow though; let's look at the story from Mary's perspective. Imagine how flattered this woman would have been. I'm sure she felt like the baddest bitch in town, I can just imagine her friends talking about the boys that have crushes on them, and then Mary killing their conversation with a line like this, "You think you are all that because those small boys want you, let me tell you who is on my jock, Baba God!!" In fact, Mary probably goes down in history as the woman with the best vagina in history, because to have a coochie that is so good that God wants it, it must be the greatest vagina humankind has ever produced. Anyways, back to the topic at hand, if you look at the evidence of God's pimpingship, you don't have to look any further than convents, cloisters, or monasteries where nuns stay. Every single nun you would find there, believes they're married to Jesus (and that's why they don't have sex or marry anyone else). Isn't that remarkable? One man marrying millions of women. With that status, I would have to say forget D'banj, Jesus is the original koko master.

But there is a twist to his pimping, he gets men too. Not all those who claim to be in a personal relationship with Jesus are females, infact most of them are males. Even in the Bible, he always had 12 disciples (or as Pat Condell put it "12 boyfriends") follow him everywhere and where the closest to Him. At the hour of Jesus's capture, one of the 12, kissed him to identify him to the soldiers. Made me think for a sec. There were many other ways of identifying Jesus amidst the little crowd he was in, Judas could have pointed him out, dragged him out, or simply called him out, but he decided to do the most intimate action between a couple (so sacredly intimate that most hookers dread doing this deed, but are more willing to do everything else), he kissed Him. Hmm, makes me really wonder if there is a double meaning to Jesus's quote, "I will make you fishers of men." Anyways, enough of my blasphemy, I just pissed off 2.5 billion people and I think I should pretty much call it a day. And if you're one of the people I pissed off, remember I already warned you. So don't blame me, blame it on the goose got you feeling loose.......

Sunday, April 4, 2010

WHAT MAKES A MAN GOD????




Easter to me is a day when 2.5billion Christians decided 2 believe the word of the 'disciples' of christ that their leader had risen from the dead.I wonder who is more gullible, the people who lived in christ's era or the people who are living in this modern era? Because it takes a lot of gullibility for people to believe that a man could die and then resurrect three days later. And then when I asked what Jesus really came to change, somebody told me that he came to make 'asking for forgiveness easier and being forgiven easier as well'. Seeing as that before God use to require that all those animals be killed just so he could forgive man pikin. Personally, I think the proper term for Easter should be 'Happy Gullibility' day.Lazarus rose from the dead to, I wonder why we don't worship him. This brings me to my other question, what makes a man God?? Permit me to qualify that statement, I mean what qualifications must a man have in other to be considered a God.  


Someone told me that Jesus was obviously a God because he performed miracles etc, now Jesus was not the only person to do miracles in the bible and am sure I do not have to provide an example of other people in the bible who performed miracles but just incase somepeople do not know. People like Moses, Paul, Peter, Jeremiah, Isiah, Ezra etc performed miracles. So obviously if it takes performing miracles for one to be called a God, now all these other people would fall under that category. 

The other qualification that somebody told me was that, Jesus is a God because he 'rose' from the dead. Now as I previously mentioned, if it takes 'rising from the dead' for a man to be considered a God then Lazarus would be considered a God as well. Now some of you will say well, Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus and I will say that Jesus was raised from the dead by God. So @ the end of the day, as long as person sha rise from the dead it does not matter who is helping them to rise, as long as them sha rise come dey walk they go, then they have 'risen'. So obviously the 'rising from the dead' part is out of the window... Anybody that can come up with other qualifications that make a man God, is welcomed to do so.

Now unto the catholic church, I do not know if yall remember my post about NO MAN IS INFALLIBLE? Well in the catholic church, they believe in this thing called 'Papal Infallibility', now Ego du jour told me that this applies to only the conversation a pope has with God but not with a pope's personal life etc. Papal Infallibility is discussed in this catholic website (Papal Infallibility). See before if I was trying to persuade somebody to my argument I would use any means necessary in order to win, neglecting the truth but this days if am arguing with somebody and I know something that can help them win that argument, I do not keep it to myself I offer it to them. Because at the end if I truly say that I want truth, then I should not manipulate or hide the process of reaching the truth of a matter from people just because I want my ego to be 'stroked' because I won an argument. Hence, why I posted the catholic website, normally I would have gotten something from wikipedia and called it a night, but if I honestly want to be truthful I should go to the catholic website because they themselves can explain what papal infallibility is. Now from what I got from that website, Ego du Jour was right, papal infallibility does deal with the pronouncements made by the pope with the assistance of the Holy Spirit. But my question now is this, how does a pope who kept quiet while children were being molested still maintain credibility in the form of 'papal infallibility'??  Why then should anybody trust any 'Holy Decrees' uttered from this man's lips?? A serious loss in credibility. This man knew kids were being molested but rather than expose it, preferred to keep it a secret. Why you may ask would a holy man do that?? Because the thing about  religious institutions is that most people who work for them would rather sweep things under the rug than let it see the light of day. In my humble opinion, this pope's  moral compass would make Hitler and Stalin blush. 200 kids were molested by this priest yet pope benedict did nothing to stop it. Make una no vex about this infrequent postings, but man pikin has been very busy... I am going to make blog rounds come Thursday afternoon lol.