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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Religion vs. Belief: Homosexuality

So i made it to my bi weekly church sessions this Sunday. Went to bible class (breakfast is an incredible incentive to wake up an hr earlier on a Sunday to study the bible). So the teacher cut short what he was talking about, to have all the college student talk about what they thought about Bishop Eddie Long (yea the guy i revealed to you on my last post that he was a fellow member of the Illuminati). But well this isn't important, the important thing was what he did after.

He began telling us to open to verses in the bible that showed homosexuality was wrong. I of course was holding my tongue but i whispered to my friend beside me about how in the same chapter in Leviticus it talked about not eating pork and not having sex with a woman on her period. All the verses till that point were in the old testament. But then the life altering moment happened. He told us to read a verse in the new testament.

Romans 1:26-27
26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

I had never read a new testament verse that was against homosexuality, so i had conveniently concluded that it didn't exist. So i used the old reliable "the old testament is outdated" to justify homosexuality. I think homosexuality is NOT a choice. So i found it hard to believe that God could make someone a certain way and then chastise them for it.

So i sat there quiet and contemplating. The moment i should have known would happen sooner or later, had happened. My religion directly opposed what i felt was right. So there it was, homosexuality is wrong. It cannot be right, it cannot be natural, because my God would not do that to his creation. It has to be of the devil, homosexuals should die.

But then i remember why i came to the conclusion that homosexuality was natural. I have seen people who tried their hardest to be straight, who dated good looking people, who were not raped as a child, who were loved as a child, and who could no longer deny their homosexuality. I know a girl who since she was in the 8th grade knew she was gay. And no she was not raped as a child. To me, all the theoretical and theological jargon cannot be compared to these experiences. I cannot just say cus it is written in the bible these people are lying to themselves. Homosexuality for some might be a choice but for a lot it is natural. Especially in places like our beloved Nigeria that your life might be in danger, why will you choose to be homosexual.

As for me, I'm straight. But if i came out the closet today, people who know me would not be surprised. They would be like "that explains a lot". But that is just because people can not wrap their minds around a 22 year old male virgin who is not super religious, who puts good looking females that like him in the friend zone or just acts oblivious to their "hints". I have my reasons, some of them i dont even understand but homosexuality isnt one of them. Asexuality might I remember laughing my heart out recently when i chilled with some old school friends that i went to JSS with, and hadnt seen in 10yrs. One of them asked me if the steroids i was taking cut down my drive to talk to girls. I had not tried to dance or talk to enough girls the 2 nights we had all gone to the club. And no i dont use steroids, but i did get big (muscular) so i get the steroid joke a lot. That comment made my hour.

But yea, i learned something about myself on sunday. When it comes to my beliefs and my religion... I will pick my beliefs. Because after all my religion is just a part of my belief not the entire thing. Because like Azazel right fully put in the top of the blog page

"We Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. We Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. We Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. We Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. We Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. We Believe only what we ourselves test and judge to be true"

This post was also inspired by Z's post on Bella Naija.

You people are slowly sucking me into the naija blog world.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Newest Member Of The Illuminatti

Is ME!!! Realist

So i just joined the illuminati... I mean, it is what everyone is doing. Jay-z, Kanye West even SouljaBoitellem!!! If SouljahBoiswagem is doing it i gats to do it, its part of my pretty boy swag. Waiting for my million dollars in the mail. CHEAA!

But on the real... This illuminati talk has been getting on my nerves since the beginning of the year. Even one of my friends just starts talking about it cus he knows it irks my soul. There is this one uber wannabe christian chic that always say stuff like "i dont listen to jay z cus he is with the Devil" I already dont like the chic so it is extremely hard to be civil when she says ish like that. I just want to yell my famous "EAT A DICK".

I just hate when people are mindless drones. Do some research damn it. If you had been more than a casual listener to hip hop you would have known that rappers have been talking about masons, and illuminati since the 90s. Controversy sells. That is why Kanye and Rihanna (aka Everlast) has all those stupid symbols in their videos or why old rock records had satanic lyrics or said satanic things when you played them backwards.

Little History lesson...."Illuminati" Means enlightened few. It was made up in in 1776 in Bavaria by Satan going by Adam Weishaupt. The organization was made up of people who were pushing for the ideals of the Enlightenment. What are these ideals for those of us who didnt take or do not remember European history? They are, freedom of thought and equality. Basically the tenets of the French Revolution (my favorite history subject, and something the Illuminati has been blamed for, including the American and Russian Revolution). You guys can see the demonic ideals the Illuminati stands for?!!!

The Illuminati aka Satan and the angels God threw out of Heaven, attracted a lot of the intellectuals of that time period, they even got members of the Free masons to join them, as a result the Bavarian gov't got scared and banned it, thinking they were planning on overthrowing the government. The age old saying applies, "People fear what they cant understand, hate what they cant conquer".

All that is known of the society ends there. Everything else is speculation. People speculated that they went underground (a logical theory) and are the mastermind behind every world event including my neighbors dog getting lost. If you are rich with money hanging out your anus, you are part of the Illuminati, because Lord knows you cant make that money through hard work. Nothing demonic about the illuminati, except maybe they got their enlightenment from lucifer or some shit.

The thing that pisses me off about this new wave of illuminatti conspiracy theories is; insinuating that rappers are illuminati. It just does not fit!! The illuminati is not going to want a loudmouth gayfish cocky ass nigga like Kanye West. If they have any secret, he would blurt it out in a song or one of his childish rants... "Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you…I’ll let you finish but as a fellow member of the illuminati Beyonce should have won that award".

This post was motivated by some dude making some ignant comment about it in a response a while ago, i just reread it. Everyday it is getting harder for me to rationally argue this, there are some emotions that only profanity can convey. I am a calm dude by nature, but when I try talking rationally to these people, all i get is ignoramus statements like "I am Christian, i cant support Jayz". If you are not going to support Jayz because you are a christian, do it for his sinful lyrics (which he has a million of), not because you are a drone that believes everything you hear.

Straight off twitter
Bishop Eddie Long is a part of The Illuminati

(Google Bishop Eddie Long if u dont know who he is) The ignorance and gullibility is amazing

So if you believe that all these rappers are Illuminati, especially Souljahboifuckem.... EAT MULTIPLE DICKS... God Bless

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What Adam Did??

You know how you cant sleep at nite so ur brain begins to take u on a ride between reality and fantasy. The by product of that state is that u suddenly become a genius at figuring out stuff that dont make half a sense when ur fully alert.
I had one of those episodes last nite.

It began with Adam and Eve (isnt that where everything else began too?). I was just thinking what kind of fruit they must have eaten that gives the 'knowledge of good and evil'. Unless something has significantly changed..we know that kind of knowledge doesnt grow on least not the trees we've come to know. So, like many other intelligent mumurities around me..we are unanimous that this 'fruit' was nothing more than 'koboko'. Now evidence: Mr. and Mrs. Adams dint have no kids until after they ate this 'fruit'. Suddenly, once they ate comes Cain wt Abel carrying his coat lapel. Evidence number 2: said fruit first savorer was Eve (prolly led on by serpent to rub her muff) then she GAVE to adam. If said fruit was on the tree...what stops Adam from plucking it himself. Why wuld it require Eve to GIVE it to him?? Then...why in heavens name will a fruit make a grown man realise he is NAKED?? Dont tell me nothing abt magical fruit, cos God made a wholly physical world. This aint no fairy tales...fruits dont make u suddenly know GOOD and EVIL. In our own times..what is the parallel experience of realising ur NAKEDNESS (and hence stop sharing a bath with ur younger bro/sis) and the sudden sense of I know GOOD and BAD hence im no longer a child. When does a man's eye OPEN like Adam's did. Yea, u guessed it..puberty. When ur sex urge kicks in. So in every points to sex. ADAM and Eve knacked...and their eyes were OPENED, and they were like GOD (in our case, we would say we are like our PARENTS) knowing GOOD (abstinence, which never works) and EVIL(sexual xperience, which is always sweeter.) Thats why they say 75% of human psychology is tied to the sex urge.
The only hole in this theory is the 'tree of life' that would have made us immortal if God dint lock us out of it. If the 'fruit' in Genesis is biological, then the 'tree of life' has to be of the same kind, cos we agree they are the same kind of tree. So what is the equivalent of a biological capability that we have, that we cannot access or make use of, that would have kept us from dying. Now in my theory..I say it is something close to our mind. Why did I say so? Hypnotic experiences show that no one dies until they are first convinced of it in their mind. Body operations have been known to be sustained beyond normal expected ability and when a person shouldnt b living just bcos they refused to be convinced to let go. And it is said that we use only 10%percent of what our minds are capable of, no matter how much we try. So if this is the case, imagine the 90% we're not allowed to access. People move stuff with their minds as of now, so they could prolly move mountains. People hold death off for seconds, minutes, hours or days more after they should be dead, so maybe with that 90% they could do it for thousands of years. People read minds or see visions, maybe with the 90% they would v been omniscient. If we had use of the 90% then who knows we may have been like God. So maybe that is what the tree of life we were locked out of was there for. Mayb its what the serpent was telling Adam when he said, u can be like God.

But even if its not, at least Ive shared with all of u the thoughts my mind was making while in between that mentally productive state between being awake and falling asleep. Now, I wanna hear what yall think??

El Divine

Monday, September 13, 2010


Ha. Long time no see on this blog, I have exactly one more hour till my next class so I have to make this a fast post. Omo the songs on the music player for this blog puts one exactly in the right mood for blogging. 
I and my professor where having a really good discussion after class the other day because he had asked everybody in the class whether they would rather be a "satisfied pig" or an "unsatisfied human being".Naturally, everybody in the class said "Unsatisfied human being" and that answer really jolted me because it got me thinking rapidly. After class I decided to talk about the issue with my professor, I and this professor always have good conversations. He understands my perspectives on issues and we usually share the same sentiments. 

I asked the professor whether it did not strike him as amusing that everybody in the class preferred to live their lives as "unsatisfied human beings" than as "satisfied pigs". Most people chose the former instead of the latter because nobody wants to be compared to a pig, but in reality most of us including myself live our lives as satisfied pigs. Incase some of you do not understand what I am talking about, Socrates once said "the unexamined life is not worth living" so the life of a satisfied pig is a life that has not been thoroughly examined, the life of an unsatisfied human being is one that has been examined and reexamined almost daily. 

My professor gave an example in which he reminded me that in a previous class I had taken with him, we all admitted that ignorance is bliss but yet all of us where in school to gain knowledge. In that class, he had asked us to think back to a time when we were "MOST HAPPY" and most of us referred to our childhood as a time when were at peace with the world, with no responsibilities etc. He then pointed out to me that most people preferred to remain as children, ignorant but still in bliss. I then made a point to him about how most people always say "life is to short, to be anything other than happy" and how that always struck me as funny. Because your happiness can stem from you living in ignorance, so would you be satisfied if you knew you were happy because you were ignorant or would you strive to gain knowledge, knowledge that would potentially make you less happy. 

The whole gist of the matter for me was that, most people preferred to live their lives as an unsatisfied human being rather than a satisfied pig. But in reality, most of us live our lives as satisfied pigs. We do not ponder, we do not investigate, we do not care to know about how kids in china are toiling day and night to make our precious Jordans etc. 

LOl "How you Remind me" by Nickelback just came on. That song always speaks to me mehn. 


P.S - On October 2nd, the OFFICIAL INDEPENDENCE DAY PARTY is going down in the BAY AREA, California. Palo Alto, CA. 
Yall won't guess who made the flyer for that party. The flyer that is on gidilounge was made by blogsville's dearest Sugarking. Dude is toh bad mehn.. 
Check out the event page on facebook. The link will be posted below, a thousand guests confirmed in three weeks. 
Facebook Event Page

Check the event out on Gidi lounge also..

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Marriage 2

My last post on marriage was mainly a brief look at the perspective of animal behavior and how the human specie differ and fail at it. But today, I’m going to focus 100% of my thesis on humans, no chimps, wolves, meerkats etc. So to begin, I’ll like to discuss about “love.” Some say “when a man and a woman fall have love for each other, they get married,” or “love brings us all together,” or “love is the answer to world peace” and yadi-yadi-ya. And they are all correct, but the shocking thing is if you ask these people what love means, they either give you a fairy tale answer or come up with bullshit wrapped up in warm emotions. Especially when you ask them what love means in marriage. So I’ll tell you what exactly love is (no bullshit attached), it’s symbiosis. Yes, symbiosis, you learned about this is in Biology: It’s the “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” mode of survival, in other words, mutual-ism. That’s what love really is without the fairy tale bullshit. We can even use maths to prove it; (Substitutive property) if love = symbiosis, then “when a man and a woman have symbiosis for each other, they get married,” “symbiosis brings us all together,” “symbiosis is the answer to world peace.” Seems correct ehn? But I’m sure there are some people who still no gree, so make I break am down berra: love, this form of symbiosis, is mainly trading a physical and/or emotional want/need for another physical and/or emotional want/need. Think of anything you love/loved, if it never (directly or indirectly) met a need or made you feel good emotionally or physically, would you still love it? I’ll give you an example, I love the English footballer, Wayne Rooney simply because the guy is fantastic at what he does, but it wouldn’t be the case if he was just some junkie who lived in a trailer park like this commercial depicted: With that been said, let’s see how symbiosis affects marriages.

There are two fundamental factors that are necessary for marriage; sex and security. Now keep in mind I said they are the FUNDAMENTAL factors, not the ONLY factors, other factors such as respect, culture, religion and so forth play a role too. The reason why those other factors aren’t the fundamental factors is simply because someone who has sex with you and secures you under a roof is a better candidate for marriage than someone who’s from the same culture, practices the same religion and respects you. Now here’s where symbiosis plays a role, in a typical instance, the men are the security guards and the women are the sex symbols. The men see women as trophies to be won, that’s why it’s always the man who has to get the girl. Keep the emphasis on “won” and then remind yourself why it’s called “spittin’ game.” In order to win the babe, you must make her happy and safe, then everything else is a piece of cake. From a typical woman’s perspective, they want a strong and handsome lad to sweep them off their feet, yet feel secure in his arms. But fellas, don’t get it twisted, you can look like Boris Kodjoe, you can sweep her off her feet, give her the best lay she can imagine, but if you can’t secure her, you’re just a booty call not a potential husband. I was watching History Channel a couple of months back, and they had this interesting documentary about the difference between men and women. They conducted a survey where they took an individual portrait-like photos of three men. The first one was like a Reggie Bush type of guy, built like a running back and stunningly handsome, the next was a good looking guy, but not as good-looking as the first, and the last was an average looking guy. They showed random women in public these photos and asked them who “attracts them the most.” And of course, the results were as expected, the Reggie Bush type of guy came in first, good-looking guy second, and average Joe third. But then they flipped the switch, they made the best looking guy have a minimum wage income, the good looking guy have an average income, and the average Joe be a millionaire. And just like that, the results made a 180 degree turn, where the average Joe is #1, good looking guy remains at #2, and Reggie Bush type of guy #3. So you see it fellas? I ain’t saying women are golddiggers, but y’all aint messin’ with no broke niggas. This song right here is a hilarious illustration of this truth from the perspective of the broke nigga:

On the woman’s side, she must prop herself up to be a good sex trophy for her man. That’s why she spends all that time fixing her nails and getting her hair did. Even the non-sexual things she should be good all have to do with sex. For example, she must be smart, so she can give good head; she must cook well, so he eat her out; she must also be a good cleaning maid, so one day he can return the favor by cleaning her pipes. That’s why when a man’s got a good sex trophy, he brags to his friends “yeah, I’m hittin’ that ass,” and when he doesn’t, he says alone to himself “I can do better, I know I can do better.” So ladies definitely know the value of their vaginas and sex, and often hold use it for negotiating purposes, like women who only have sex when they get married. Unfortunately, there is a downside to that, and where’s a parable that depicts it’s negativity:

Mary Anne was a staunch christian, she was beyond born again; she was born thrice. But the thing is the Lord blessed her with the gift of sexiness. 5’5”, endowed upper and lower body, like Kanye West said “she got an ass that would swallow up a G-string, and up top, umm, two beast things,” and to put the icing on the cake, her face was better than anything Michelangelo could sculpt. Even at church, when she sat upfront, the pastor could feel the holy ghost power striking his pants. With the looks she has, many men have dated and tried to make it to her “promise land” but she left them in the desert. Her ideology was simple: “if my finger doesn’t enter your ring, your penis isn’t entering my 'promise land.'” So most men gave up, except for this one guy, who dated her but never asked for sex. She decided to marry him, and on their honeymoon, when she wanted to make him feel like the luckiest man alive, she pulled down his shokoto to find absolutely nothing there. He had a penectomy, that's why he never asked her for sex. Now due to her born thrice beliefs, she can neither have sex outside marriage nor divorce him. She used to have boys fighting over who can hit that, but now the only sex she can get is from a dickless nigga. Happy married life, Mary.

Well ladies, the lesson is simple, have sex before marriage, it reduces your chances of marrying a dickless nigga. With that I conclude, now we know how the symbiosis of sex and security are the backbone of every marriage, in my next post, Marriage 3, I’ll show you how culture plays a role in marriage. If you notice, I used the word “typically” a lot in this blog, and that’s for those of you who would use one instant out of a million to argue. Just like men typically have deep voices and women typically don’t have chest hair, I’m sure you can always bring examples that prove otherwise. Anyways, peace out.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The bible sucks!

Warning! This post will offend many and I am not apologizing for it!
I am currently speaking from a place with a lot of hate. I always try to be tolerant to Christianity and the Bible. I never bash. However, since Christians have decided that they shall not respect what I believe because it isn't 'the truth' I've decided that I'm done being polite. Like my friend says "Fuck civility. Let's all be bitches"

My question is;
What is with the old and new testaments? In fact what is with the bible in general? I think the bible was written by a bunch of fucking idiotic liars who didn’t even think to cross check each others' work. It has so many fucking contradictions, it amazes me that people can even sit there and defend it. So I am starting a new bi-monthly segment, titled “Contradictions in the bible” There are so many that it might take me months and then I’ll let you sit there and lie to yourself and tell yourself that “The word of God shouldn’t be questioned because I am a mere mortal”

Are we saying "God" couldn't make up his mind? Or are we saying that by creating the New Testament, "God” was once wrong with some of his old rules? Which brings about the question, can "God" be wrong? So in that case should we be expecting a new millennium testament because some of that shit is out dated? Also maybe “God” went through therapy and stuff because we have to admit that “God” was a sinister, evil bastard in the Old Testament. He commanded stoning, killing of babies and destruction of people's property. In the New Testament he supposedly comes down as an alter ego and preaches love, joy and happiness.

For the record, I'm sick and tired of people choosing to follow some parts of the Old Testament when it pleases them. No! You either think the Old Testament is outdated or you don't. Do not come at me with some scripture from the Old Testament and when I come back at you, you tell me my scripture is all no longer valid. How about you fuck yourself with your ignorance

Also, don't tell me "Oh Jesus spoke most of the new Testament not God" Negro please. Aren't you the same person that said God and Jesus are one? If Jesus and God are the same, then shouldn’t they like share a mind? Why are they contradicting each other?

Mark 15:34-37, Matthew 27:46-50 - Jesus says: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” If he’s the same as God, please I’d like you to explain why he thinks he has forsaken himself?

John 10:30 I and my Father are one.
John 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

This is looking more and more like Multiple personality disorder.
MPD describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.

I believe in God, and I’d like to think that my God is sane and shit.

Yours blasphemingly,
Vanity xx

P.S. I’d appreciate if the people who wrote the bible could agree on one creation story because, well, the humans are monkeys theory is making more sense at the moment. Did humans come first or did the animals?

Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:26 And God said; Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
(Notice how in genesis 1, he says 'let us'. So is there more than one God? Or was Jesus there with him? Or did the angels help him? In that case why does he take the glory for all their work? Isn't that like plagiarism? Also in this chapter, it seems that Eve was planned because he says them while in Chapter 2, Eve is more of an after thought! )

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.(How sexist! Notice how it says Help and not companion And how Eve wasn't even planned!)
Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

(If you read my own blog, you'll know I have issues with the family and they are making me read the bible and well, this is what happens when I read the bible. I have to read the whole bible so um yeah. Just about done with genesis!)