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Monday, September 6, 2010

The bible sucks!

Warning! This post will offend many and I am not apologizing for it!
I am currently speaking from a place with a lot of hate. I always try to be tolerant to Christianity and the Bible. I never bash. However, since Christians have decided that they shall not respect what I believe because it isn't 'the truth' I've decided that I'm done being polite. Like my friend says "Fuck civility. Let's all be bitches"

My question is;
What is with the old and new testaments? In fact what is with the bible in general? I think the bible was written by a bunch of fucking idiotic liars who didn’t even think to cross check each others' work. It has so many fucking contradictions, it amazes me that people can even sit there and defend it. So I am starting a new bi-monthly segment, titled “Contradictions in the bible” There are so many that it might take me months and then I’ll let you sit there and lie to yourself and tell yourself that “The word of God shouldn’t be questioned because I am a mere mortal”

Are we saying "God" couldn't make up his mind? Or are we saying that by creating the New Testament, "God” was once wrong with some of his old rules? Which brings about the question, can "God" be wrong? So in that case should we be expecting a new millennium testament because some of that shit is out dated? Also maybe “God” went through therapy and stuff because we have to admit that “God” was a sinister, evil bastard in the Old Testament. He commanded stoning, killing of babies and destruction of people's property. In the New Testament he supposedly comes down as an alter ego and preaches love, joy and happiness.

For the record, I'm sick and tired of people choosing to follow some parts of the Old Testament when it pleases them. No! You either think the Old Testament is outdated or you don't. Do not come at me with some scripture from the Old Testament and when I come back at you, you tell me my scripture is all no longer valid. How about you fuck yourself with your ignorance

Also, don't tell me "Oh Jesus spoke most of the new Testament not God" Negro please. Aren't you the same person that said God and Jesus are one? If Jesus and God are the same, then shouldn’t they like share a mind? Why are they contradicting each other?

Mark 15:34-37, Matthew 27:46-50 - Jesus says: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” If he’s the same as God, please I’d like you to explain why he thinks he has forsaken himself?


John 10:30 I and my Father are one.
John 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

This is looking more and more like Multiple personality disorder.
MPD describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.

I believe in God, and I’d like to think that my God is sane and shit.

Yours blasphemingly,
Vanity xx

P.S. I’d appreciate if the people who wrote the bible could agree on one creation story because, well, the humans are monkeys theory is making more sense at the moment. Did humans come first or did the animals?

Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:26 And God said; Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
(Notice how in genesis 1, he says 'let us'. So is there more than one God? Or was Jesus there with him? Or did the angels help him? In that case why does he take the glory for all their work? Isn't that like plagiarism? Also in this chapter, it seems that Eve was planned because he says them while in Chapter 2, Eve is more of an after thought! )


Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.(How sexist! Notice how it says Help and not companion And how Eve wasn't even planned!)
Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

(If you read my own blog, you'll know I have issues with the family and they are making me read the bible and well, this is what happens when I read the bible. I have to read the whole bible so um yeah. Just about done with genesis!)

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

are you sure you are even Nigerian? you are a huge disgrace to mankind and am saying this not because you think the bible sucks but because your own level of stupidity is just overwhelming...

last tym i checked religion was a choice so dont bash Christianity because it doesn't fit your scope of thinking...respect is key in life...roger dat! PS..theres a difference between science & religion..u know that right?! tsk tsk...attention seeking idiot like you...msschewwwwwwwwwww *hiss*

EDJ said...

LMAO @ Anonymous. What has being Nigerian got to go with this? Lol, is it that Nigerians have a monopoly on religion?

Anyway, Vanity, live and let live. If Christianity is truly disturbing you, it is unfortunate. However, that is what happens when a group is in the majority.

Kpele.

Vanity said...

@Anonymous apparently you cannot read.

What does my nationality have to do with this?

Religion is a choice and I choose to be deist but you know as well as any other person that Christians shove Christianity down your throat. Whether you accept it or not is a different story.

And your sermon is very hypocritical as you preach respect and then do the opposite. You must be christian.

P.s wtf does science have to do with my post? And since when is saying my opinion on a book make me an attention seeking idiot? *Sigh* You're too pathetic to even argue with

P.p.s it would have been more accurate if you have called me an attention seeking whore. Whore is more accurate

@EDJ Christianity is not disturbing me, Christians are. I get tired of people telling me how wrong deism is. I believe in God is not like I believe in the devil

leggy said...

you do know that respect is reciprocal right?
you want people to respect your choice?then respect other people's choices.
your folks who are forcing christianity on you are probably not even going to read this.but innocent people who have no qualms with you are just going to open this page and see you bashing their beliefs.
christians aren't bugging you, your home front is.settle it with them.

etoile Oye said...

I am going to try and be objective here... pardon me if I fail.

I am not sure I get the purpose of this post. Is it just to undermine the bible and mock its believers? If then, brilliant post... although I wonder why you would wanna do that.

I mean, then it would just seem like you were pointing out Christianity's 'flaws?'
just to make you feel better about your own religion... and I dont get that... does it really work?

A more constructive and worthy post, I believe, would be one that after citing one religions 'flaws', cited how your own beliefs dealt with these 'flaws' and why you would rather believe what you do than the religion you critiqued.

That would not only give your readers insight into what you believe and make them understand you better, it would make them ask questions and seek answers... perhaps about their own religions as well as yours.

They might come up with answers to your questions that may/may not satisfy you or themselves but they would know more than before and so would, perhaps, you.

Mutual respect is key... and whilst proof by contradiction may be popular in academic circles, proving somebody's religion is flawed or false is not sufficient in itself to imply yours is right. You could be just as wrong as the next dude...

Tell us what you religion says that convicts you so... that makes you choose it above all others. Then whether we agree or not, we would understand and respect your beliefs...

Realist said...

hahhaa i don die @ are you even Nigerian?

People must be new to this blog or we have not have our signature "Christianity is shit" posts in a while. lol

But on the creation of woman, if you notice God created woman twice. There have been specualations that Eve was not Adam's first wife. That it was Lilith. She left Adam because she refused to submit. For more google it...lol But it is a very interesting theory.

But we all know there are things that seem to be contradictions in the bible, or things we cant understand. I choose to just say i cant as a mortal understand God's mind. I am too scared of hell...lol But i feel the bible has been tampered with by man.

And btw there is a newer testament of the bible it is called the "Quran" or at least muslims believe that.

El-Divine said...

i figured something must have driven u hard to go off like this. buh sorry, for me, the bible sucks not!
xtianity, like politics, like deism, like atheism, like all other isms and most other non-physical phenomena are what i call the realm of #personalopinion.
that is...one man's guess is as good as another. whose fault is it that one is more beleivable than the other?? no ones. so pls, #getittogether
if someone wt authority over u is overbearingly religious, endure it. if its just 'itchiness', scratch it. if u cant do either, fuck it. if u have something u want us to know, and understand about u, share it.
if u bliv the bible sucks that bad, my dear sister, drop it. me, i KNOW it is powerful, and its contents resonates with me, so i bliv it. Thats how this world is.

abt ur family, sorry u still v folks dt will force u to read d bible, or anything for that matter. mayb thats where ur anger is 4rm.

Anonymous said...

YEA AM BACK...THIS IS ANONYMOUS...

@ everyone...am partly Nigerian but wasn't raised there & from what iv seen visiting Nigeria,iv come to know Nigerians to be very spiritual people who put their all in whatever religion they congregate with.obviously i was wrong..*SMH*

@ vanity.... In your so called post.. did u not say "P.S. I’d appreciate if the people who wrote the bible could agree on one creation story because, well, the humans are monkeys theory is making more sense at the moment. Did humans come first or did the animals?" THAT INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED FRIEND... IS WHERE SCIENCE COMES IN.everyone knows the creation story has two facets to it...the scientific one AND the religious one so sit down there you attention seeking whore...*there i said it!*

and FYI yea,iam a Christian..and i don't assault anyone with my bible just because iam! In this day and age one would think that everyone and their mama would know that being stereotypical isn't cool but i guess not..if this is what makes u sleep better @ night then fine but you cannot say "ALL CHRISTIANS" r hypocritical...your wrong 4 that! unfortunately everyone has an opinion these days and yes its your blog blah blah blah *yawn* but don't ever think you can bash a whole group of people and not expect some1 to reciprocate...

you clearly have family issues as leggy said...everyone with such deep sited issues gets them from home..so go bk and talk wit your people about shoving their religion down yo throat and save some of us this nonsensical "i have an option" bullshit...

CHEERS!

Vanity said...

@Anonymous if you did not notice, that was a joke. The one creation story i was asking to be agreed on was the one in the bible, as you can clearly see, they're two in genesis.

I sleep great at night whether or not this is involved. Furthermore, I do not think all Christians are hypocritical just a lot of them. And I am glad that you reciprocated.

Also while this might have been crowned by my family issues as you say, it started before that. My family was the proverbial straw that broke the camel'
s back but it wasn't just them. It was a whole church and a whole bunch of friends. And many random people do you know how many times I hear deism is wrong as compared to "it's your choice?"

And you could've been save the "I have an option bullshit" if you had just not read the post

@Leggy I never asked anyone to respect me. She (I assume anonymous is a she because it sounds like one)brought the whole respect into the equation. If she's going to preach respect doesn't there have to be an example?

Also my family issues might have played a part in this but they had nothing directly to do with. My problems with them is different. Many times the people/things we post about, the people who are directly involved with it never get to read it. So what's your point?

@etoile I never claim to have all the answers or to think my beliefs are right. I just do what I feel most comfortable with. Because in the end, It is all probability. There's a probability there might be hell or there might not be. There's a probability xtianity is real or not real. There's a probability all deists are going to hell if said religion is real. In the end after all the religious wars, the atheists might be the ones with all the answers.

You make many valid points as to a constructive post but I did write this was coming from hate.

Either ways you Etoile rock!And I will be referencing your comment for my next religious post.

Vanity said...

@Anonymous if you did not notice, that was a joke. The one creation story i was asking to be agreed on was the one in the bible, as you can clearly see, they're two in genesis.

I sleep great at night whether or not this is involved. Furthermore, I do not think all Christians are hypocritical just a lot of them. And I am glad that you reciprocated.

Also while this might have been crowned by my family issues as you say, it started before that. My family was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's
s back but it wasn't just them. It was a whole church and a whole bunch of friends. And many many random people. Do you know how many times I hear deism is wrong as compared to "it's your choice?"

And you could've been save the "I have an option bullshit" if you had just not read the post

Vanity said...

@Leggy I never asked anyone to respect me. She (I assume anonymous is a she because it sounds like one)brought the whole respect into the equation. If she's going to preach respect doesn't there have to be an example?

Also my family issues might have played a part in this but they had nothing directly to do with. My problems with them is different. Many times the people/things we post about, the people who are directly involved with it never get to read it. So what's your point?

@etoile I never claim to have all the answers or to think my beliefs are right. I just do what I feel most comfortable with. Because in the end, It is all probability. There's a probability there might be hell or there might not be. There's a probability xtianity is real or not real. There's a probability all deists are going to hell if said religion is real. In the end after all the religious wars, the atheists might be the ones with all the answers.

You make many valid points as to a constructive post but I did write this was coming from hate.

Either ways you Etoile rock!

Vanity said...

@Realist I don't think I've seen that yet but there are two versions of the creation story. One where he creates humans first and another where he creates animals first

Things we can't understand? A contradiction is a contradiction.

@El Divine LOL @"the realm of #personalopinion."
Eh I don't know what you mean by get it together but as far as I know, I do have it together. Apparently our opinions on that defer.

And apparently writing that my family was involved was a big mistake because you and the rest of them have assumed that that is all there is. Even when this thing stops, I am still going to have people walk up to me randomly and remind me how Christianity rocks. Every week they knock on my doors on Saturday morning when I tryna sleep. And everyweek when I try to be objective and listen tot hem, they are still going to start with how all of us are going to hell.

Vanity said...

@eL DIVINE I am happy that you found something to believe in so strongly but As I believe the bible sucks so strongly I shall not be able to drop it.

Vanity said...

@Everyone I understand that a lot of the people even Christians on blogsville are rather objective and I understand how this might annoy them since they are so open but this is my opinion. You don't have to like it or respect it but It is just what it is.

I will say that my next religious post will be more constructive and less of a rant because this is just exactly a rant. And like all other rants, it will be emotional and not entirely rational.

Anonymous said...

OK FINE....but you could have at least categorized which type of Christians you were referring to. Christianity is so huge/wide to jst say Christians!There are catholics, Pentecostals, Lutherans,protestants and so on and so forth..i wont lie,am scared of the SEVENTH DAY ADVENTISTS AKA Jehovah witnesses bcos with them its a 'my way or the high way' type of situation when they preach...
I commented on this post because believe it or not, i actually love your blog when ur not busy attacking us! i visit this blog ALL THE TIME so i kinda took it personally...arghhh ok,iv had enough fun 4 today so till u post again!

cheers!

LucidLilith said...

See Vanity don vex finish!! LOL. Please oh please, don't take it this far. Yes, I know...Christians can be the most annoying people on the planet. Just the other day, my sister was quoting the bible to me and I told her to quit. I read the Bible and I pray to God. But I also educated myself on the history of the BIBLE and how it came about.

The contradiction is not because God wrote the Bible while suffering from low blood sugar but rather because the writers had second hand accounts of the life of those written about. Are they wrong? Will there be inaccuracies? Of course. The Bible was written by men, arguably inspired by God. And men make mistakes.

In fact, in the early days of the church there was so much bickering and fighting on whose book or writing was the most accurate. The assembled books of the Bible and the dietification of Jesus was decided on a vote. Yes...Jesus was officially recognized as the son of God with a vote by early church fathers.

So, while you make valid points, you should also refrain from being overly emotional when so-called Christians try to paint you as an agent of the devil because you don't believe in what they believe. It kinda makes you sound like a lunatic. Just take it easy. There is no judgement here...at least not on my end.

The Messiah said...

Yeah, Vanity are you Nigerian? Because all the Nigerians I know are spiritual, and since you guys are from the same place you guys should all think, act, and speak the same. There should be no individuality involved. Hahah, I like the way you stereotype people, Anonymous.

To the topic at hand, if I didn't believe in the validity of marriage, I woulda asked your hand in marriage after reading this post. Great shit, Vanity, almost nothing to argue about here (considering the fact that you've done all the arguments). And I hope you're serious about the "bi-monthly 'Contradictions in the bible'"

Rene said...

In my opinion, the bible doesn't suck and just because u have issues with some people "shoving it down your throat" doesn't give you the right to bash the bible. You could bash them if you want

krystal said...

uhm I see what you mean where you say this is coming from a lot of hate. breath mama breath. On the bible issue, this topic feels like de ja vu refer to the post featured on your blog
http://eche-crates.blogspot.com/2010/06/is-god-allowed-to-change-his-mind.html

Anonymous said...

@ The Messiah...Go through my post..S.L.O.W.L.Y darling* you can do it...theres a good boy*I was talking about what i observed of Nigerians & spirituality.

I did NOT say every Nigerian out there is supposed 2 have the same mind set and have no individuality.SMH... you're way too late niggah,fall bk...am all juiced out 2 start part 2 wit u...besides...i called a spade a spade hrs ago!lolzzz

The Messiah said...

No Anonymous, I'm not a good boy, and yes I'm late, I'm the 17th comment (thank you for pointing out the obvious). And what fucking spade did you call a spade? Your dumbass explanation of the stupid question you initially asked? Well atleast you could manage to say you're wrong, but the fact that you come in here and claim that that lady (who organized her thesis intelligently laid and them down point-by-point) is a "disgrace to mankind" because she doesn't accept the idiocy in your contradictory beliefs and the hypocrisy of accepting some while denying others for convenience makes me smh in embarassment for you.

Put this together "you are a huge disgrace to mankind" and "your own level of stupidity is just overwhelming" and then you had the guts to say "respect is key in life." Now do you see why the fuck you make no sense? You're just like the bible you read, contradictory, so next time you want to get sarcastic, I'm the right guy to do it with.

Anonymous said...

@ The Messiah....FUCK U KUJO!roll over and die...msscheww!what? are you her spokesman? seein as she isnt even commenting on here anymore id say shes moved on so where d fuck did U come from??

Am really tired of seein u foam @ the mouth ova something u clearly didnt understand.If she has an opinion about it well guess what????? so do i?!i dont agree with how she grouped every single Christian into 1 group and thats that! sorry it bothers you...go get laid or chew on a toy...

LMFAO! "so next time you want to get sarcastic, I'm the right guy to do it with." BWAHAHAHAHA do you really think this much of urself?? lol this is ma last comment here...so u lil anti-christ shud read this ova and ova till u cum ok? *u obviously av sexual tention...vanity aint givin u some?* LMAO...ON TO D NEXT ONE! later kujo!

The Messiah said...

Aww, looks like Anonymous is butthurt, awwww! See the thing about you is you're clearly ignorant. You blab your mouth with insults and can't even make a fucking logical point. And as for the "roll over and die" comment, well according to Hosea 4:6 (in the bible I'm sure you don't read but belief in anyway) it reads, "My people die from lack of knowledge," so considering your amount of ignorance, I think you would be a better candidate to "roll over and die." And I'm not her spokesman, I just have a need to make idiots like yourself feel stupid. And also for the "sexual tention" comment, first of all bitch, it's spelled T-E-N-S-I-O-N and second of all asking if "Vanity aint giving me some" not only adds to the pile of stupid questions you've asked in your insignificant life, but it also shows how desperate you are to insult.

TecknicoleurGrl said...

Ok, this comment isn't a reaction to any of the other comments here because, frankly, I don't care. I just want to say what I think about your post.

I'm a Christian, I try to read the Bible, and I allow myself to question what's in it. And I remind myself everyday that people wrote the Bible, God didn't write it with his own hand and give it to the church. So mistakes are inevitable. And I believe Christianity is love, so as long as I love everyone the way I love me, I guess I'm doing my part. Everything else is secondary, and I really don't believe in dissecting the Bible. There's a lot of helpful stuff in it, but we should remember it isn't exactly the crux of Christianity. Like Vanity rightfully said, there are a lot of contradictions in it, and if anyone is going to swallow everything without some kind of objectivity, then maybe you should just pick up a children's story Bible or something. It's simpler.

That being said, I still can't help but be offended by this post, because it's my faith you're talking about. And while I'd like everyone to be a Christian too, I believe in choice and not in bashing you on the head with my faith, so believe what you like. But outrightly insulting someone's faith (or what someone believes is the basis of their faith) is not a good way to make a point. I admit that a lot of Christians are guilty of this as well, and on their behalf, I'm sorry.

BTW, I read a book that sorta clarified that whole trinity (is Jesus God, Let 'us' make man) thing for me. It's called The Shack by William P. Young. If you're willing to read an explanation of this that makes sense to me (i dunno if my opinion counts), you can read it. And some of the contradictions in the Bible come from the translations from Greek and Hebrew, so please don't be too harsh.

Good luck with whatever you're trying to achieve, anyway.

Azazel said...

People are entitled to their opinions, but their opinions are not entitled to your respect.

Chuk said...

please read this for an explnantion of what Jesus meant by why God had forsaken Him..i once had that question too but I now understand it

http://www.gotquestions.org/forsaken-me.html

Vanity said...

@Anonymous you're not showing very good Christian example with your comments. I am judging you because you out-rightly said "I am a christian" and I don't see the point of claiming and defending something and then going around and defying everything it says.

@Messiah LOL ILY you rock. Don't worry I will get you laid plenty! (I feel like I'm cheating on realist)

@Rene how do you bash people without bashing what they believe?

@Krystal I just started writing her . I haven't gone back and re-examined the posts

Vanity said...

@Tecknicoloeurgirl I understand where you're coming from and I admit to attacking the bible and your faith but my question is you admit that the bible is imperfect and I applaud you for this, how do you know what parts of the bible haven't been tampered with and are actually God's/Jesus word? Why do you choose to believe in it when you already know you can't trust it?

@Chuk I read it and well it does nothing for me except give me more to question. "It was the manifestation of God’s hatred of sin, in some way which He has not explained, that Jesus experienced in that terrible hour. " The writer is not even sure, why should I take his word for anything? "He was experiencing separation from God for the only time in all of eternity." How do you experience separation from yourself? That is a sort of mental disorder.

Vanity said...

@LucidLilith "The contradiction is not because God wrote the Bible while suffering from low blood sugar but rather because the writers had second hand accounts of the life of those written about. Are they wrong? Will there be inaccuracies? Of course. The Bible was written by men, arguably inspired by God. And men make mistakes." The first part of your statement made me LOL. You admit there are inaccuracies, how do you know which is accurate?

TecknicoleurGrl said...

@Vanity: Let me honestly say that I've asked myself the same question many, many, times. Christianity is something I grew up with, and all my life, I've heard that the Bible is God's word. I can't say which parts of the Bible are actual fact, and what parts are simply stuff off people's heads, but I just read it anyway and hope I'm taking the right things out of it. At the end of the day, it all comes down to being a good person. If believing Jesus is God, and trying to model myself after Him (or what I know about him) will help me do that, then why not?

And Christians should just realize that God is God, and He can do whatever He likes. I'm sure He isn't limited to speaking through the Bible. I've gained some pretty deep life-changing messages from Angels & Demons, so lets stop burning Qurans and bashing anyone who doesn't believe what we do. All we can do is live in a way that shows people that it is THE Way, and hope they choose to join us.

And why do I believe? It's faith. Hebrews 11:1 - Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. And even it's only in the Bible because some people voted on it, it's a pretty good definition.

Kparaga said...

What do deists believe and how are their beliefs any more reasonable than Christian beliefs. Still looking for evidence for a "creator" and can't find much to work with.

Live and let live. If there is a creator God, the most convincing evidence we have for his/her/its existence is creation. Our attitude towards each other is, IMO, the clearest indication of what our true beliefs are. Let's try to tolerate each other, at least, or try to love each other like we all claim to believe we should.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to this blog. It is so funny to see people up in arms because of an opinion that differs from the norm. What Christians do not get is that since the God you believe in is Almighty, he doesn't need your help or your defense. It is this need to defend God and help God that has made the world a mess today. All religions have this problem, not only Christianity. An almighty God does not need you to bomb the infidels, neither does she/he need you to burn koran or to harangue endlessly about scriptures that you will never understand clearly.

StandTall-The Activist said...

lol at this Anonymous whoe dey vex? This Ano reminds me of how pple kill themselves over religious opinions they do not agree with. Whatever is wrong in someone stating his mind?

Eeeh jare, see I was wondering recently if there were only one Adam and Eve that produced all these multi colour, multi-race and multi-language. I wonder too if the bible writers spoke from God's perspectives... I really wonder.