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Thursday, February 25, 2010

"Unlawful Gambling?

A couple of months back I heard about something that got my blood boiling: The US was going to ban online poker! To go further in depth, the bill called UIGEA which stands for Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act aka bullshit-that-doesn't-make-any-sense law, will put an end to playing poker online with real money by punishing the credit card companies that make you do so. According to some media outlets, this law has been pushed since 2006 and will be in effect by June 2010 (if it isn't delayed). Now I can understand if you don't give a rat's ass about this law (especially if you don't play poker), but allow me to explain how this piece of shit legislation makes absolutely no sense whatsover. The funny thing is I always complain about the Naija system and how corrupt it is, now I'm going to complain about the US lawmakers and how outrageously stupid they are sometimes.

First of all, I've been playing poker since I was 15 (I'm now 20), and I've got to say it's a wonderful game. I often played poker back in high school during lunch time with half a dozen Mexicans. Honestly, those were some of the most memorable moments I had in high school. Talking shit, joking around, making fun of each other while politely snatching their lunch money, even Nate Dogg would say we were "living that boss's life." Not only was there the fun that is derived from playing the game, I actually used that poker money to pay for my PSAT exam in my junior year. We even wanted to build a poker club at my school (so we wouldn't have to go off campus to play), but my principal didn't even wait for us to finish the proposal before saying no! And that's the annoying part of people; they tend to hate anything that's different or that they have no clue about. That's why it's the same people who have no clue about the game that often throw dirt on it and claim it is gambling in a condescending manner. The funny thing is poker isn't all gamble. It requires luck but it's mostly strategy and skill, that's why there is a term called "professional players" who know how to play the game (because they've mastered the SKILL of it). You don't have to call every hand you get you can always fold (decide not to bet on your hand), call (bet) or raise (set the stakes higher). It involves psychology, and reading your opponent, knowing whether he or she is bluffing or is for real. The aspect of reading your opponent actually makes me good at figuring out whether someone is lying or not (regular gambling won't teach you that). Another argument for their illogical law is that people get addicted to gambling and some even go to rehab. I mean c'mon, if you gamble to the point where you're homeless and still have the urge to gamble, then you really don't need rehab. You need school. You need an education, maybe a crash course in Common Sense 101 at that. These people who tend to "lose it all," because they were gambling have two problems; over-optimism and over-confidence. Poker isn't a game for optimists and pessimists, it's a game for realists, people who know their odds and play with it. If you invest all your paycheck money into gambling, then you're obviously not a realist. Like I said earlier on, this is a game that requires strategy and if people don't realise that then they're at a higher risk of doing something as stupid as "losing it all" to poker. However, regardless of these facts people will always jump into false conclusions about this game and frown upon it, yet you will see these same judgemental people at Save Mart trying to buy lotto ticket. Imagine the fuckerey. Like Wande Coal would say, "Na who born the maga?" They (including the US govt) have the guts to say the poker is "Unlawful gambling," yet they are the ones sponsoring and buying the "Mega million dollar lottery." If poker is gambling, I'm curious to what they will call the lottery. The lottery requires absolutely no skill, strategy or psychology, all it is is 100% random luck. And that isn't scrutinized as much as poker? Why the double standard? Is it because one is taxed and the other isn't, so therefore you must demonise the untaxed? And besides why is gambling as a whole frown upon? Do people even know what gambling is? For those who don't lemme give you a conventional definition of the word from

v. gam·bled, gam·bling, gam·bles
a. To bet on an uncertain outcome, as of a contest.
b. To play a game of chance for stakes.
2. To take a risk in the hope of gaining an advantage or a benefit.
1. To put up as a stake in gambling; wager.
2. To expose to hazard; risk: gambled their lives in a dangerous rescue mission.
1. A bet, wager, or other gambling venture.
2. An act or undertaking of uncertain outcome; a risk

Now lemme ask you a question, doesn't almost everything you do in life fit that definition? Businessmen are gamblers because they invest their money (or bet) into something that has an uncertain outcome (their business). Stock sharers, bonders, and holders are the same: The invest in something that they have uncertainties to the outcome. Unless you see the future, every futuristic investment you make is a gamble. You're gambling when you spend money on your education, because what if you spend all that money and the economy flops and no one hires you? Drivers, when you drive your car and commute you're gambling with your life because they is an uncertainty or risk that you may never reach your destination alive. In a sense, everything is a gamble, and Lil' Wayne put it best when he said "Life is a gamble and I'm all about my poker chips." My peeps, make una think about it and tell me what you think.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

'Truth Don Die' funny story....

Lol I hope you guys find the picture funny because I sure did.

People of Blogsville, how una dey? Long time no speak, I have a funny story to share with you all. So I was invited to a 'baby shower' by my Sierra Leonean friend, her aunty was the one with child. So last night I completely forgot about the baby shower, and it was while I was at my friend's house that my friend who was suppose to take me there called me and asked me if I was ready. I told him that I was, mind you I had worn my 'Truth Don Die' shirt lol so we headed off to the baby shower party and all. Omo when I reached there, come and see how people where giving me strange looks and ish, me I come dey wonder maybe it's because am Nigerian and they are all from Sierra Leone. Afterall I've heard that other africans tend to hate on Nigerians because we got that extra swag *winks* hehe lol. Anywayz, as I was there and getting all these strange looks people where now coming up to me and saying 'Na who kill ruth? Ruth don die? How she die? As in people were getting sad and ish, so finally I asked them who in God's name was Ruth? My friend now told me that Ruth was the name of the woman who was giving birth to the baby. The woman who's party I had come to, and do you know why they were asking me 'Na who kill Ruth'?? Because my jacket was covering the 'T' in my 'Truth Don Die' shirt so all this while everybody was reading 'Ruth Don Die'. I swear una for come see the kind laugh wey I laugh, because only God knows the kind of uproar I had caused in that party. The Ruth self was not at the party, as she had given birth in the hospital that night, so you can imagine people where probably thinking I was the bearer of bad news.

The whole night turned into one jokefest for me, from everywhere people would come to see what my shirt said and ask why my shirt said 'Ruth don die'. When I now opened my jacket to reveal the T you would see the sad expression on their face change to outright amusement. Chai it was to funny guys, I can't shout but I can whisper.

Anywayz, now unto a serious topic. The other day I was at my friend's house and he asked me to watch something. This baby who had been in a Coma had woken up in a church after they had prayed extensively for her, so basically it was a miracle and ish. So as I was watching these thing, I was very skeptical, afterall this is not the first 'supposed Miracle in Church' video I had seen yet I had not been convinced. But after I finished watching the video, instead of normally shrugging it off like I would I started questioning myself. Remember in my older post 'Blogsville Peeps Come Hither' I had said something about how most religious people are quick to rush to the conclusion that something was a miracle without looking for other explanations to explain it. Well what happens, when the only explanation is a 'Miracle'?? Would I be able to accept it without being skeptical about it? I then realised that I 'don fall my own hand' because all this while I had been focusing on 'other explanations to unnatural events' but I had never thought about what then happens if the only explanation is a - Miracle?? Who then should it be attributed to??
Now most people would say, DUHHH!! attribute it to God of cause. But see I believe that if one would attribute it to God, one should maintain the possibility that it could be attributed to the devil as well.

I know somepeople are of the habit of believing that every good thing comes from God and every bad thing comes from the devil. But the bible itself puts rubbish to such a theory, afterall God did and has done bad things in the bible and if you need examples I shall gladly provide them. Now that I have ascertained that God is capable of doing good as well as bad, does it not stand to reason that Devil himself is capable of doing good as well as doing bad??

So then, as a rationale man I would say that the glory for a miracle should be split 50/50. Afterall it is a possibility that both God and the devil could have healed that baby from her Coma.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Good or Evil?

Ok this is my first post, Messiah and Azazel have been messing me up, everytime I feel I am ready to type a story, they writes a masterpiece, bunch of party poopers. Anyways I hope my poor excuse for a post is satisfactory.

So I am minding my business in class when the TA asked if we thought whether humans where naturally evil or good. The question stemmed from Hobbes’s saying that man in his natural nature was ““nasty, brutish, and short,”. Of course everyone was like Hobbes was wrong so on and so forth. It could be because it seemed like the TA was almost daring us to say man was evil. Well I did not take the bait, I am trying to make an A in the class…lol I’ll argue on other minor points like if Napoleon was a good person. I just want to hear y’alls opinion.

I tend to side with Hobbes. In an ideal world, Man would be all peaceful and good. We would share everything and be kind. But as a lot of us have found out from experience, people find reasons to stab you, to take you for granted, to use you. You know the saying “Nice guys finish last”. I refused to believe that saying, until na only last I dey carry…lol It seems like we have to sometimes be cold to avoid being hurt. Even the bible self (please don’t turn this into a religious argument) says the flesh is evil. Think of it how did the first man gain property? Didn’t he just decide a random spot on the earth was his? How did he decide this? What made it more his than his neighbor? It had to be his innate selfish nature that made him start thinking the random piece of land was his and not “ours”. Even if some men were born “good”, that trait must have died out. Because they would have been poor with no land, and no female will want to lick their lollipop (you can guess what song is on my Ipod at this moment…lol) This takes me on another tangent… Socialism

In my opinion socialism is the best form of government in an ideal world. But we do not live in a ideal world, we live in a “Real” world. In the real world humans are not unselfish. In the real world someone will realize that if “I don’t work, I would still get as much as the person next to me” Or why should I share with Ekaete? When I can be living in 5 mansions and riding 26 cars. Like that Wu tang song goes “Money rules everything around me”.

Back to Hobbes… The people that think that humans are naturally good, are just setting themselves up for failure IMO. A sucker is born everyday. This whole life is a game and those who do not play are getting played. It is extremely sad but it is reality. The optimist says the glass is half full, the pessimist says it is half empty, the realist knows it is just half…Any ways, what are your opinions?


My people how una dey? Sorry for being MIA but school and everything else in my life has been keeping me busy. Somuch has gone on in my life that I am not at liberty to share. So I am debating whether to stop blogging or just create a totally new blog of my own in which it becomes 'invitation only' but we shall see sha.
(Shoutout to Miss Fab)

So today, there is this one guy in my Nigerian Student Organization at my school that I detest right, and sometimes this dude acts so 'two-faced' that I just can't help holding my disdain for him. But if there is one thing I've learnt, it is that no matter how much you detest a person, no matter how much an individual/person disgusts you should never ever let it cloud your 'judgement' especially if the person raises a good point. We had an 'executive board meeting' and well this guy and my president were in disagreement. Bear in mind that the president of my organisation is my very good friend and I stick up for him. But this guy that disgusts me was raising a lot of 'good/solid points' and you know me LOL I am a sucker for 'reason and logic'. I don't care how much I hate you, if your arguments are solid and rationale, I would commit suicide before I let my friendship with anybody come in the way of reason and logic. And so why they were arguing, I was just thinking to myself that in the 'olden days' when a brova was still not in his logical phase, I would have jumped to support my friend without caring about what this other dude was saying simply because I did not like him. But during the whole back and forth between the two of them, I maintained my silence and after it was done I did not correct my president right there and then, I waited till the other dude had left and I told him that 'the other dude was right and that he himself was wrong' and you know what they call that where I come from? Wisdom and Tact. I have seen/heard or I will probably see/hear people comment and say that 'If you were a good friend, you would not bother being afraid to correct him in public and to those people I say this, 'Tact' is the act of making a point without making an enemy, you see there is something called pride/ego and most human beings have it in excess amounts. If one does not learn how to make a point without bruising/injuring a person's ego, one is bound to have a lot of enemies. Do not flatter yourself that a close friendship authorizes you to say 'disagreeable things'  to your close friends. The nearer you come into relation with a person, the more necessary do tact and courtesy become. (shoutout to Lady X)

I could have corrected my presido right there while that other dude was there, but I refused to give the other guy the satisfaction of knowing that I agreed with him, lest the next time he makes a weak argument he assumes that I will be in favor of him.(U know how somepeople sha think).

So I was just thinking about the amount of people in my life that I look up to as mentors, and a lot of people do not know this but I honestly learn a lot from people and then they'll tell me am 'wise' or 'smart' when in reality they are the ones who are 'wise' and 'smart'. I am just the dude who asks questions. Plus if there is one thing I have noticed among human beings, it is that tendency to attach 'supernatural/infallible status' to their heroes.
Infallibility - when a person/persons is considered exempt or immune from liability to error or to failure.
In other words, when a person is considered 'perfect' and is not capable of committing a mistake/sinning.

You see people thinking that people like MLK, Ghandi, Jesus, Prophet Mohammed, Socrates, Pope are infallible. And most times, what we know about these 'great people' are accounts written by people who were 'closest' to them. I am of the opinion that nobody and nothing is 'infallible'. Whether you be a God or a man or a devil, nobody is infallible or perfect. Moreover, do we honestly expect that people closest to these 'great people' would give a 'fair and balanced' account of their 'Heroes/leaders/mentors'? Much of what we know about Socrates was written by Plato his favorite student, but we take what he says as Truth even though Plato presents Socrates as being 'almost infallible', same thing goes for Jesus, most of what we know about Jesus was written by his disciples right? Do we honestly expect them to give a 'fair and balanced' account of their leader/mentor?? Jesus is also presented as being 'infallible' and there is also this thing called 'Papal Infallibility' in the catholic church which says - It is a dogma in Catholic theology that , by action of the Holy Spirit, the pope is preserved from even the possibility of error when he declares that his teachings on faith and morals were divine revelation from God". Basically, it's saying that the pope once in this state is not possible of committing a mistake/error. Case in point, anybody remember last year when the pope said 'condoms do not protect against aids', that statement right there was an example of papal infallibility and and no good catholic should doubt what the pope said. Now do any of you really believe that nonsense he said about condoms? It's almost like telling most people to give an account about their 'mothers', most people love their 'moms' right? See leggy's post for example (Shoutout to Leggy btw), she talked about her Dad right? If you read her post you will see that she presented both the good and the bad of her popsy. Now read what she wrote about her momsy she presented her momsy in the best of lights, but she did not go as far as giving or telling the 'other side of her momsy's personality' as she did for her dad. Is this because her momsy is the best thing since 'slice bread'? Nope. But again it's just that thing with human beings, we tend to 'gloss' over the 'facts' about people we love and admire. Most people usually present their mothers in glorious terms, so how then would you expect such people to present their mothers in a 'fair and balanced' manner with no hyperbole/exxageration? Same thing goes for our 'Heroes' like Ghandi, Jesus, Socrates, etc

As I was saying, I look upto a lot of people as MENTORS but I would never and I repeat I would never ever fall into the 'illusion/delusion' of thinking that my mentor/pastor/pope/leader is 'Infallible'. As long as you are human you will make a MISTAKE and you are capable of making MISTAKES/SINNING/BACKSLIDING etc. NO HUMAN IS INFALLIBLE, and whether it is possible for God to be infallible, that is to be debated.
(Shoutout to Vera)

P.S - NUFF SAID about that Manchester United vs AC Milan game. If by now you did not know that ManU is the best club in the world, please go and write it down somewhere.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Money On My Mind

A couple of years back (and by a couple, I mean two), I was at work and it was my lunch break. And I was going to eat at the back of the salon, when a lady walked in with a bright green dress and one of the stylists welcomed and complimented her saying, "Girl, I luh (love) your dress, it's so bright." And the lady responded, "Aww thank you, it's my favourite dress because of the color." Then she said something that caught my attention, she said, " Green is the color of prosperity, I bet you can't name something bad that's green." That's when I went on a mind journey. I started thinking about anything bad that's green and all I could come up with then was cyanide and Green Goblin from Spiderman. I even texted my friends asking them to mention bad things that are green, some said weed, some said jealousy, others couldn't even mention one [Quick note, if you can name more other things that are green and bad, please post them in your comments, thank you]. But one of my friends texted back, "Money." How ironic, the same thing that feeds you, clothes you, gives you a good education and makes you feel on top of the world if you have a lot of it is considered a bad thing? So I thought about it: Is money which provides so many good things really the root of all evil? I started noticing the money greed when before I rarely pay attention to, like rap/R&B lyrics such as these ones: "Money on my mind, because money is what I'm thinking"-Lil Wayne, "Get money fuck bitches"-Lil Wayne, "I don't understand the language of people with short money"-Mase, "If you ain't getting money then you ain't got nothing for me"-Beyonce, "Cash Rules Everything Around Me C.R.E.A.M"- Red Cafe etc, "..and I will do anything for the root of all evil"- Lil Wayne. With all these you can clearly see a money craze within the mainstream music, but it's a lot deeper than that, a lot lot lot deeper. I once told a lady that I wanted to major in Engineering and she told me to reconsider simply because they're not hiring a lot of engineers now and "that's not where the money is at." So is that why we all go to school? So we can major in something "where the money is at?" What happened to pursuing goals, are we now abandoning goals for money? When I look at a classroom I wonder how many students would be there if it weren't for the pursuit of money. Imagine if the Ph.D and Bachelor degree holders were making less than janitors and fast food restaurant cooks, how many people will still pursue knowledge? I know knowledge is power, but is money more powerful?

Hmm, I found out when I created a survey to see what kinds of things people would do if you flash a gratuitous amount of money in their face. The survey was simple, it was a yes and no optioned survey with ten questions and a fake price of $5 billion if the "contestants" checked yes to at least 5 questions. I gave a copy of this survey mostly to college students, teachers, people I work with and some random people on the street. Some questions were gross, others ok, and some challenging, they went something like this:

For $5,000,000,000.00, would you.........

1. Run a non-stop 15 mile marathon.
2. Change your first and last name.
3. Eat 6 elephant testicles.
4. Disown your family.
5. Stay up 96 hours without sleep.
6. Shave every strand of hair on every part of your body.
7. Cut out a body part completely.
8.Be used as a crash test dummy.
9. Eat 15 live cockroaches.
10. Dump everyone you know.

Would you believe out of 51 people this survey was given to, 10 checked yes to at least 5 (and one guy even did 6!), 19 checked yes to atleast 4, 28 checked yes to at least 3, 39 checked yes to at least 2, 50 checked yes to at least 1, and only one chick handed the surveyed checking all no's and said, "I don't want your money!" Now after they've completed the survey, I usually ask them if they'd do what they checked yes to under normal circumstances and all I got were a lot of "nope's," "no's," hell naw's," "fuck no's" and many other negative responses. So in a broader scale, for $5 billion I can make 98.039% (50/51) of the population do unusual things, and that's a powerful political tool. So politically powerful, it influences human beings to destroy other human beings.

Most average Americans always claim to "Support the troops," which is a patriotic thing to do, but they might not be supporting the troops for the same reason most wealthy CEO's do. What a lot of American's don't know is that there is a sea of corporations making profit from the destructions of war. Companies like Haliburton, of which Dick Cheney was the former President of, get huge contracts to make tanks, gears and weaponery for the soldiers (and when i mean huge I'm talking about billions here). Oil companies get a share too, that's why the US is still in Iraq and all the military camps located in Iraq are within a mile to the oil pipelines. Even fast food companies like McDonalds and Jack In the Box get contracts to feed the soldiers at war. Do you think these greedy assholes would want the war to end with all the profits they make from it? I don't. Even the United States mainstream media (which is owned by only four corporations) gets a piece of the pie. Their sponsors like McDonalds, and Chevron petroleum get more profits which means more money to advertise and that's how the media eats (off advertisement money) . The word "news" no longer bears its true meaning; in the mainstream media, "news" actually means propaganda. They tell you whatever you want to hear as long as they get higher ratings, and higher ratings means they can charge more for advertisement. This is all money controlling the strings here. Because of money we kill (war), steal (oil), and lie (news), yet we fiend for this drug without realizing what it really does to us. This drug even controls countries, just like Mr. Jensen (one of the characters in the 1976 movie, Network, a must see) said, "There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multi-national dominion of dollars.......We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Mr. Beale. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business." And the number one rule in business is: Profit is good. Even if it creates a sweat shop (like Nike production plants in China), or a human killing business (Haliburton), as long as they made profit they did something good. So I guess the rappers weren't exaggeration when they say," Cash Rules Everything Around Me C.R.E.A.M.," and people don't lie when they say, "money rules the world." My question is: Does money rule you?

Look, I'm not here to tell you not to use money because it's the root of all evil, or for your to alienate yourself from this money hungry systematic society we live in. I'm here to preach the gospel of using your brain when it comes to money. See, I hate money, but in order to survive I need it. So I see it the same way a player sees his rich girlfriend that he doesn't love; I only use it.
My message is: Don't let money control you, you control money. Don't be money's bitch like most people, let money be your bitch. Be like the chick who said yes to dignity and no to $5 billion. This has been the Gospel According to the Messiah, have a wonderful one Blogsville.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Azazel - The Sad Clown


Lol guys I am sad and I know what's making me sad but I still can't share it. I use to have this friend who I could call up and share why I was sad but she's in Nigeria now and she has not yet come back to yankee. I have just been thinking about my life mehn, and it just saddened me when I realised that I have a lot of friends and people that I am close to who share their life/secrets with me, but if you ask them shit about me they probably don't know a single thing. I thought about calling my momsy to talk to her about my life and what's making me sad but I know she'll say something like 'Azazel why won't you be sad? When you don't have God/Jesus in your life, what do you expect' and I know that immediately she says that I'll tune off and just go cold. Why can't a mother and son just have a simple deep conversation where a mother listens to her son and hears him out without passing judgement or bringing religion into it? Is that somuch to ask? Like forreal though, why must my happiness be attached to 'being a christian'? Aren't there 'sad christians' out there, like the fallacy of her arguments just slay me everytime. I yearn for the day I and my momsy will have such a cool conversation. Imagine the kind of relationship where everytime momsy calls me I immediately get alert and I watch every single word that comes out from my mouth because I know she's probing and she to is also on high alert trying to read into everything I say. I lie to my momsy like shit, I swear lies just come naturally to me when am talking to her and I think she knows it to. But what does she expect? Telling the truth to her is like Torture. Two of us acting like frigging 'James Bond Spies', am simply just tired of having such conversations and this days self I just ignore her calls because me no get strength anymore. There are just some people that when they call your fone, you have to answer it and tell them you want to call them back, because if you are not mentally alert when they call, by the time that conversation has ended you will realise why you hate picking their calls. I and my momsy have never had a close relationship and it saddens me, as for my popsy mehn that's another story. I want to be able to share my troubles but I can't even share it with the girl am talking to because she's just ..........
I just want to talk to somebody I can trust, but honestly mehn I do not know anybody and I'll be honest the only reason I fully trust the girl who's in Nigeria right now is that I know enough ish about her that I could destroy her with and I also know that we are very good friends albeit good friends who can destroy each other lol.  I will be honest that is how I think about friendships and secrets, I always keep reminding myself that one should not reveal 'secrets' when one is sad/depressed because the friend you are talking to then might one day get angry at you, and na so dem go open your yansh for public.. Yes I am paranoid lol, very paranoid lmao and my paranoia has put me in deep shit. Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets lol.  And some of you will judge me but damn, you don't know how many things people have told me that they were suppose to keep secret and then the people that are telling me the secret think they are impressing me because they are sharing 'gist' with me. He/She who gossip to you, will bring gossip about you, and I am fully aware of that hence why I find it hard to share stuff with people.  and I don't know why. I should probably change that mentality but I've always been like that ever since I was little. I would only share a lil part of myself if I knew enough about the other person to, and this mentality has followed me till this day. And I know you all aren't used to seeing me type like this but I am sinking right here lol, like big time. I still can't even share what's sinking me because some of the people/things sinking me frigging read this blog.
I wanted to enter politics, as in when I looked into my future I one day wanted to become a politician but I've totally killed off that Idea. I just realised that I just do not have what it takes to be a politician, I use to be able to lie, cheat and be cunning but not anymore mehn. I have a tendency to speak 'truth' even when I know that the 'truth' am about to speak will make me enemies and will probably turn my friends against me. I can't live a politicians life and I already know that to be a successful politician one must choose his poison from these two options. One must either be a Hypocrite or one must be a Liar. I am not saying that I am not capable of being a Hypocrite or a liar but mehn, the way my own craze they work na something else. I can't tow a party line for shit, I like to go it my own way and I absolutely worship truth in any shape or form it comes and I don't care how brutal/disturbing it is I want it out there. Now I was reading Socrates and he basically said that a politician cannot possibly do what I want to do because such a politician would be assassinated a year into office and I know with all my heart that what he was saying is so true..
I remember when I was growing up as a kid, I lied to momsy about something and she said 'Always tell the truth and never lie again' but momsy lied to me though. It is not possible for anybody to go throughout life always telling the truth, that's a recipe for early death. See if I have kids I will tell them that lying is not good but that if they plan to tell the truth in every situation they come across then they should be prepared to die before the age of 30. I will let them know that Truly, to tell lies is not honorable; but when the truth entails tremendous ruin, To speak dishonorably is pardonable".
 And this might seem a little extreme to you all, but again I want you all to think about it again. Is it possible for a person to tell the 'Truth' in every situation/circumstance they find themselves in? Take for example the other day one of my female friends on FB asked me 'Azazel do I look like my celebrity look-alike' trust me as a sharp guy I told her that she looks 'finer' self, she knew I was lying right? But she wanted me to say what she expected to hear so you see even in small situations like that one tells 'little white lies'.

Lol as I was typing this, one of my female friends called me and I was just looking at the phone wondering whether to pick up or not. Because I know that she is going to say that I am a bad friend that I promised to call back and I did not call back and God knows I've promised like 4 people that I would call them back when all I do is forget to call. I use to be so good about calling people back, but mehn this days I just don't care. I remember when I was like 16 or 17 I used to love to make friends, like I wanted to know everybody in the whole frigging world. But look at me now? Every chance I get, I look for an oppurtunity to lose one more friend, because I don tire seriously,I am starting to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. Because am tired of smiling and shining teeth to people, when all I simply want to say is that 'I HATE YOU WITH A PASSION'. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. But then I think it was Miss O who use to say this one phrase to me that always made me laugh, because everytime she heard a sad story she would say something like 'you will be fine', at first that phrase use to annoy the heck out of me but it really still cracks me up. The way she just use to say it, made me think that she was 'cold' when in reality she's just being honest. Afterall this complaining I have sha done, life must still go on abi? Unless I am preparing to go jump off that cliff by my house then I should really stop complaining and just move on with life. Hiss look at me, talking like my own issues are that serious when there are children in Darfur/Congo being raped as I speak. Please, my blogsville peeps my apologies for wasting your time in having you read this nonsense, my problems are not significant and they definitely pale in comparison to other shit people are going through. Good luck and Good Night. 
When am sad lol, I listen to two songs from Sound of Music lol, I know it's crazy but they make me laugh. One is 'So long, Farewell' and the other one is 'Favorite Things'. Yall should youtube it or something.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Chemist

EDIT: The Truth Don Die family welcomes Mr Aradi as a new contributor to the blog. Mr Aradi's religious faith is 'Islam' so he is the first Muslim we've had on the blog. Mr Aradi is an incredibly smart human being even though I do not agree with his religious faith. But that is what we aim to do here at this blog, present all sides of every religion so people can become enlightened. 

Slower breaths… clammy feet… pounding headache… cool sweats… anxiety… night terrors… hysterical laughter… trembling… fear… elevation… falling… landing….

In a very conventional chemist shop. I was still not used to these transformations, even after all these years.
“Aspirin”, I said, walking up to the counter. “Bad headache.”
And then I noticed The Chemist, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. He’s a short Indian-looking guy with dark shades, wearing an overcoat and crunching dedicatedly on a tin of nuts. Not one of my finest figments.
“Not my fault”, he said as he handed me the aspirin and a glass of water. “At one point you tried to call me Nutty.”
I choked and then apologised sincerely.
“Drop them pearls”, I said. “I’m all ears.” I swear I didn’t notice his flabby ears. He wasn’t too pleased either, but he let it go.
“See these medicines?” he said, motioning across the room, “they are strange things. Let me tell you how they’re made. The chemicals are stored in a dark room at the back. No one’s sure how they’re made exactly, but we believe they spill to the floor and mix themselves up in exactly the same proportion and the same heating and pressure necessary. They then trickle into the empty boxes that await them at the other end of the room and seal themselves into these delightful packages.”
“No”, I said. We stared at each other for two full minutes before I realized I was supposed to present my own point of view. “A chemist or a pharmacist made and packaged them.”
“No they didn’t”, he said. “Just because they’re there you think they must have been made by this clever graduate of a medical school who owns a company and has employees in these laboratories with equipments for pressurising and mixing these ingredients in exactly the same proportion. You think they must have packaging departments and delivery trucks with a standard set of operations to provide you medicines? Wrong! Let me ask you, have you seen him?”
“Well… no, but..”
“Aha!” He smiled victoriously.
“Okay, let me ask you” I said, “How do you suppose the chemicals made it to your room at the back?”
“Easy”, he said, airily. “Do you agree with me that they were delivered there?”
“Yes…” I said, waiting for him to continue. The Chemist merely crunched on his nuts and stared at me. I was tempted to take a dig at his nuts, but I refrained. Not worth it, he’s clearly nuts.
“Who delivered them?”
“Don’t you see?” He said incredulously, mouth full of nuts, “It all starts with the Delivery!”
“Right” I said, nodding slowly. “And I’m sure the medicines were just delirious to hop off their containers.” My tone was sarcastic.
“Ah, now you get it! In fact, we call it The Delirium Delivery Theory. It’s just a random series of events that so happened to seem intelligently designed! Well, they’re not. Look at this chemist shop… plain fiasco! How can you have all these awful tasting liquids in one room?”
“Well, because if we ever fall ill…”
“Ah, illness!” The Chemist said accusingly, and pointed at me with a short finger I barely resisted breaking. “If your medicine making Chemist –slash- Pharmacist was so clever and rich, why didn’t he make a cure for falling ill? Why couldn’t I, for instance… just talking theoretically here… nothing personal… uhm, have a medicine that could make me bigger!”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “There are pills for those, dude! They give you this energy and enlarging…”
“You know what I mean!”
I tried to be serious and decided to take a sip of the water, but mid-sip he said “I mean, I have all these nuts, but…”
I toppled to the ground in tears of mirth. But then I remembered that my tears could drown buildings around here, and so I stopped. The Chemist wasn’t too pleased.
“Well…” I proposed, “Did you ask him? I heard that you could write to him and he would do his utmost to consider your request.”
“But there is no he!” he shouted irritably.
I looked around me for a tin labelled ‘Chill Pill’, but then I sensed wariness.
“Sorry man”, I said. “The way I thought this would go we would travel to Europe on a plane and argue about Hotel Managers and you would fly like Neo with that overcoat and all…”
He smiled at me. “Thank you, Aradi.”

I woke up with that headache, in a pool of sweat, but I was still chuckling about The Chemist’s wish.
“Well, just because I call him The Lord Pharmacist and others call him The Mighty Chemist doesn’t mean he didn’t give us those pills!” I said out loud.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


As I am writing this I am so pissed, am trying to decide whether to write while am angry or wait till am calm before I write..But I shall write this now, because me no sure whether I go get time later. But mehn, as you all must have noticed I have been madly MIA no be small. And sad thing is that I can not even tell you what's pissing me off, because the people that are pissing me off read this blog as well. Irony much ehn? I started blogging so I could get away from those people, now my own blog has become my own prison. Ha lol, gotta love my life.  Btw did I tell you all that I interviewed Myne Whitman yesterday on one of the radio shows she appeared on, if you want to know which radio show I am referring to, head over to her blog. *smh @ my life lol, it's not like am fully anonymous o, yet I still have to maintain some level of anonymity.

Anywayz mehn since today is sunday please my people indulge me as you guys have been so used to doing. The bible was written by Jewish men abi? And the Koran was written by Arabs abi? Both the Jewish men and the Arab men claim that those two books are the 'word of God' right? Now who are we suppose to believe? Who has more credibility? An Arab man or a Jewish man? It is obvious that 2.5 billion people have decided that the Jewish man has more credibility than the Arab man, while 1.5 billion people have decided that the Arab man has more credibility than a Jewish man. 2.5 billion refers to the 2.5 billion christians, but am guessing it should be more like 2.9 billion if u include the people who practice Judaism abi? And the 1.5 billion refer to the 1.5 billion muslims. Now my people, you all might be wondering how come a black man is not one of the options ehn?   Do you not see that the one of the major reason why it is possible that most of these major religions have flourished is  their writers had the wisdom to put what ever nonsense they were writing down in a BOOK! So as you see, while the Arab man and the Jewish man were busy writing down stuff in books that would later bring both misery and joy(I say misery and joy because I like to be balanced, it is no doubt that the bible has definitely been used for 'some good' and if I am truly sincere in the pursuit of truth it behooves me to point this out as well) to generations after them, what was the black man busy doing? Busy killing 'twins', and throwing people into 'evil forests'.  I am not a self-hater of blacks o, but I mean it would have done us a whole lot of good if we had written about Oduduwa or Amadioha and had the common sense to put it inside a frigging BOOK!! Just saying..

Moving on, I am stealing this particular paragraph from MESSIAH he gave me the idea and this whole thing dumfounded me because I was really angry at myself that I had not spotted the thing first, as in this one was so good that I seriously considered flogging myself mercilessly. Here it goes sha, ' You guys remember the book of Exodus in the bible abi? Where Moses went up to Mount Sinai to go meet Oga God so that Oga God could give him some tablets and like ten fine and sexy commandments abi? Ok Moses spent some time in that mountain and while he was gone, the Israelites started to get restless/bored so they decided to have some fun. These people built a golden calf and they decided to 'worship' it, and they were sha playing with it and all that abi. Unbeknownst  to them, Oga God had already written down in the tablet that 'idol worship' was forbidden in the 3rd commandment. So after God had finished writing the ten commandments, old man moses started walking down back to his people. When he came upon them, he noticed that these useless vagabonds where worshipping wetin? U guessed right 'an Idol calf' and this went against the 4th commandment. So what did Old man Moses do? He commanded that the worshippers of the Idol be killed and put to DEATH. Moses na fool o, can you see how the idiot actually fall e own hand? He himself now come break the 6th commandment by committing murder.
Now the question is this, I am fully confident that most of the readers in this blog are fortunate enough to have an education abi? So here on earth abi, when we create a law or if a bill is passed that institutes a law. Do they punish the people who had broken the new law prior to when the law was created? Nope. Why? Because we have sense. Even when they passed laws banning driving while on the phone or driving while texting, did they go and arrest/prosecute everybody who had been driving on the phone/texting before the law had been passed? Nope. Why didn't they do that?Because again, we human beings have SENSE. One would expect our supposed heavenly father to have the same common sense and intellect that we possess seeing as it is alleged that we were made in his own 'image' unless of cause it is possible to be made in the same image of a person yet still get better sense pass your creator? It might be possible but who knows. Anywayz am sure you all get my point, why would God/Moses authorize that the idol worshippers be put to death?? How the fuck where they suppose to know that God had forbade them from Idol Worshipping? Dem sabi like psychic to God and Moses?

Humph, anywayz sha make I go sleep. I hope Arsenal whoop chelsea tomorrow morning abeg, that is all I frigging ask for. And with that, I am signing off, need to go do some studying.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Hey Baby, What's Yo Zodiac Sign?!!

I'm a salesman in a beauty supply, and if you ever want to fully examine and get in depth inside the female brain (and of course see they're real hair), this is the job you want. They tell and show you all sorts of stuff they don't even bring up with their husbands. Because of this knowledge, I can tell if a woman is wearing a wig or a weave. If it's a wig, I can tell the company that made it and how long she's had it for. I even learned a lotta stuff about pregnant women that I never knew; like pregnant women have a heightened sense of smell (so if you wan mess around pregnant women I suggest leaving the room, because they go smell am). They have a unity with their baby, where the mom only eats whatever the unborn fetus wants; they also can't apply a lot of chemicals to their skin, digestive system, and hair, if not the baby go vex. I learn all sorts of weird things at my work place, but what this one lady told me six months ago classifies as number one of all the bizarre things women have told me in that store, at least so far.

First of all, she's a regular, I see her all the time and we usually get into some interesting and funny conversations. She's married with two young kids (the oldest is about 4 years old). Ok so this one day, she brought her kids and was trying on some wigs in our store. Something led to another and she asked me my zodiac sign. I said "Sagi." She said, "No wonder we get along so well." I replied, "What do you mean?" She said, "I'm a leo and my sign is compatible with yours, my husband is a sagi too." Then she went on, "I've been in many relationships and so far the only men that could handle me are sagis." My eyebrows instantly rose as I asked her, "So how many relationships have you been in?" She said, "A lot!" I noticed she didn't want to give up the exact number, and plus she looked, at most 35 but at least 28. But to think about it, if one could be in so many relationships where one notices a pattern of correlations between the zodiac sign of the partner and the success of the relationship, I'm guessing she wasn't exaggerating when she said, "A lot!" She then said, "On the first date is when I know if it [the relationship] is going to be successful." So I asked, "How?" She said, "I ask the guy what his zodiac sign is and if it isn't compatible with mine, I just know it wouldn't last, and I've never been proven wrong." Yeah I bet she really hasn't been proven wrong, because of her stupid self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think anything you're doing is going to fail, it will. That's a no-brainer. It has nothing to do with the partner's birthday. But I dare not say that to her at this moment, because the last thing you want to do when a woman shares that much info with you, is argue(no matter how nonsensical it is). Just listen. So I slowly shook my head vertically, and smiled. And then she said, "I think you'd be compatible with my little sister." In my head I said, "You dey craze."

After that convo, I really started thinking about this zodiac thing. Like my Lagosian chicks aka Sisi Eko's would say, "Is it that serious?" So I journeyed into the deep sea of astrology, to find answers but instead I found rubbish. I decided to test how accurate their descriptions of certain signs are. I flipped certain signs around, making Pisces become Capricorn, and Leo become Gemini. So I showed my nephew, who is a Leo, the Gemini characteristics. He said it was accurate, until I reveal to him that those were the characteristics of gemini. I showed my friend the fake Pisces characteristic and the same result was shown. Truth is, the characteristics of every zodiac sign are in all of us to a certain degree. So if all of them are right, specifying certain human characteristics to birthdays is fallacy. I even started paying attention to my daily astrological sign's forecasts and almost every time it was dead wrong. Sometimes what they predict for other signs is actually what happens to me. That's when I realized these things are nothing but superstitious bullshit people believe in. It's almost like religion without God. And just like religion has prophets and Men of God (who God only speaks to), astrology has psychics and people who the dead only speak to. When the show Montel used to be on on CBS every day at 2 o'clock, my mom watched it religiously. And every Wednesday, Montel (the host of his show) would invite Silvia Brown (a well-known and "successful" psychic) for some paranormal/astrological additions. They often had people from the audience ask her questions like "Is my dead dog still protecting me?" "I hear a man yelling at night, is he my late alcoholic uncle?" And then Siliva would answer with such arrogance like she knows everything. But on an episode in 2006, she would expose herself as a liar in the future: A black man asked her, "when will America have it's first black president?" She said in 8 to 9 years. Now can someone spell fuckerey? I can: F-U-C-K-E-R-E-Y, FUCKEREY. Serious fuckerey, because it was either her medium doesn't know how to add, or she just pulled that out of her ass (I'm guessing it's the latter), because it only took 2 to 3 years for America to claim her first black presido.

The lesson to be learned is that, we shouldn't be prejudice over zodiac signs. We complain about injustice and prejudice over race, nationality, sex, left-handed people, sexual orientations, height, wealth-class etc, but to be prejudice over birthdays requires mental help.

Thank you all, and Goodness bless.