Thursday, December 23, 2010
So, finals are over and I am on break. So this means that I have time to blog and do things of that nature LOL.
On this fine fine night I find myself waxing in the glory of my thoughts. I just realised that I Azazel have never truly opened up to anybody. Not my parents, not my friends, cousins, priest etc. And most of my friends and I will admit, 80% of my friends are female in nature. And hence my closest confidante's are female.
A confidante by the way is a woman to whom secrets or private matters are disclosed.
Now it got me wondering, whether there are others like me out there who feel the same. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that I have never shared a secret or two with a friend. Everyone of us I assume has that one person in their life that they feel they can be open with 100% (I assume??) And if that is the case, is it not natural to sometimes share some of your deepest secrets with 'said friend/confidante'?
It struck me that I honestly do not have a confidante or friend who I feel comfortable enough sharing all my thoughts with. And I won't use that cliche of 'oh it's because I don't trust anybody' because even though that may be true. It bothers me that for every one time I tell somebody a semi-secret I tell it to them knowing fully well that I can weather the storm if they decide to betray me and tell others what I told them in secret.
I don't know if yall get what I am saying. Basically, anytime I confide in somebody, I do not confide in them fully, even when it seems like I am being forthright or being frank, I am never truly frank or forthright I just let the person/people involved think I am being forthright.
Seeing as the name of this blog is 'Truth Don Die', it is safe to say that a lot of 'truths' have died in me LOL.
I have this one quote I say to myself everytime I find myself not fully confiding in somebody.
It goes like this:
"The man who cannot endure to have his errors and shortcomings brought to the surface and made known, but tries to hide it, is unfit to walk the highway of truth".
Yes I tell people that I seek truth, yet I know deep down within me that I am unfit to walk the highway of truth.
Hence why every 'bio' I have in all my social networks state "Azazel is a liar who always tells the truth".
At least people won't say they were not warned.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
This is just a rant, no hidden agenda, no me trying to act like i know better than anyone, this is what i feel most comfortable with. All i got is questions, few answers, and if we are real with ourselves that is all we have. One of My favorite books is The Count of Monte Cristo. At the end Edmond Dantes(the greatest man to ever live...lol) says this quote "Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words, —'Wait and hope'." The author Alexandre Dumas writes exactly what i feel, we really do not know anything, all it is is a wait game to see if we were right, and some of our wisdom turns to folly, (the earth is flat, the earth is the center of the universe) and some of our wisdom is really hope (prime example is religion, all it is is hope that we chose the one). But where i deviate from Dumas is, what if there is no "god" to reveal it? What if there is really nothing to reveal, what if Life is just a random event based on no laws or design... on to the rant...
Mehn there has to be an afterlife... this short life can not be it. I REFUSE!!! There has to be something more. If you really look at it, life is soo short, i closed my eyes twice and i am 22, soon i will have a family and kids. Soon after that i will be old man and die. Thats if i dont just drop and die. I find it hard that this is just it. What about those kids that die at 1 yr, is that it for them? They dont get a chance to come back and try to live longer. I understand the body fading, but what about the essence, the soul, that just cant be a one and done, how can it just fade? We dont get to come back? Then i wonder what if this is not my first time here? Who was i in my past life? Did i have the same personality? Was i Nigerian? Or maybe i was Napoleon. That could explain why out of all the historical figures i like him the best, plus we have the same birthday. Was i a girl? or maybe i was a cow?
All these are just a few questions i have, and i think some of y'all might have the same questions. It seems like that is what life is... a bunch of questions few answers. I thought that when i was grown up, i would have all the answers. Now i realise that when adults used to answer me with "it just is", or "it is because i say so". It is because they like me had no idea why "it was so". Its so funny the more we know, the more we find out how little we know. All i know is that life is too short, and i wasted 20 yrs of it, i have only been enjoying it for 2 yrs, and it makes me regret all that time i wasted trying to be anything other than "Realist". I want a re-do.
If there is no after life then what is the meaning of our existence? Maybe the meaning of life is that there is no meaning, all we are are numbers in the population, nothing more, a lot less. Accepting this is harsh, but i can fool myself into believeing that this is not a possibility. What i could do is form some kind of meaning of life, which makes me feel good and useful...
I guess this is how religions start.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Immediately, I was transferred to a different scene. There were five Ogbanjes with five calabashes (calabashes is the plural of calabash right?), and one extra Ogbanje that was to give the five the signal to beat their calabash. The extra Ogbanje sent the signal causing the first Ogbanje to beat her calabash. All the few Amadioha worshippers were raptured into heaven to enjoy eternal bliss, and those left behind were to suffer in the hands of an angry God. The second calabash was beaten , Amadioha spat into the Atlantic ocean, but unlike human spit, it wasn’t saliva that came out, it was a comet. As soon as the comet landed, a violent storm took hold of the ocean causing it to shoot out a weird creature into a Lagos beach. The creature was very strange in appearance, for it looked like a whale but somehow it also resembled an octopus. I asked one of the Ogbanjes what this creature was and she told me it was a seapork. The seapork landed onshore and seduced the people nearby to eat out of it. They did, and they enjoyed it, only to be struck with a disease months afterwards. And instead of seeking Amadioha’s mercy, they prayed to Jesus. The third Ogbanje beat her calabash, and Nigerians were struck with an ugly and unnatural accent, whereby they said “wars” instead of “was,” “Yelz” instead of “yes” etc. The fourth Ogbanje hit her calabash, and for the next 50 years Nigeria saw no progress in the government and the well-being of the citizens. As population skyrocketed in the country, so did malnutrition and poverty, and they rebuked the devil for something he didn’t do instead of ask for Amadioha’s mercy. The fifth and last Ogbanje beat her calabash, and there was silence in the heavens and on earth, suddenly a huge cloud resided over Nigeria, and this cloud blocked sunlight in the country for 16 years. The heavenly NEPA decided to take light in Nigeria. The inhabitants of Nigeria will search for light be will not find it, they will be isolated in total darkness and still out of ignorance, prayed to the wrong God. Amadioha then told me, “These and worse go happen to your people, unless them open up their eyes and worship the God of their forefathers, I now command you, Messiah, make you go warn your people about this wrath that will bestow upon them. If them get eyes make them read, if they get ears make them hear. I done talk my own.”
My people, you have read (hopefully you have) what will happen if we don’t g back to our roots, and believe in a god that our forefathers accepted as thee god. Let us stop the curse of bad government and NEPA in our people’s lives. Let us stop thinking that a Jewish or Arab god is better than our native god(s). If you’ve been touched by this vision, I want you to know that there is a solution. Give your heart back to your roots and accept Amadioha as your god, your Lord and your savior. If that’s your case, I want you to say this as a swear to Amadioha:
Amadioha, I have been deceived to think that foreign gods are better than you. I’ve been looking for the one true god in all the wrong places, when all I had to do was look home. Like the saying goes, “What you’re looking for in Sokoto is inside your shokoto.” I swear by you Amadioha to accept you as my personal lord and savior, and I will follow you and heed your warnings . I will spread the warning and the good news about you oh lord. In Amadioha’s name I swear. Amen.
Congratulations, you are now a follower of Amadioha. Embrace your new lifestyle with passion and share the good news with friends and family. Also, like many natives gods, Amadioha likes a little sacrifice, so part of your fellowship with Amadioha would include giving up 15% of your income to Him. Amadioha only takes cash, so please make sure all funds are paid in currency to me. Thank you and Amadioha bless.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I hate "good guys"/"nice guys". You know the guys who always say "girls dont like good guys, they always want the bad ones". The ones that tell sob stories and want you to cry for them. It is like their goal to get a girl is to make them feel pity on them and date them. ANNOYING!!! like really so what that you are a guy that does the right thing or treats women respectfully or gets straight A's and other stuff good guys do? DO you want an award? You want us to organize trophy for you? You are doing what you are supposed to be doing, no one owes you any congratulations, you should be happy you are doing it for yourself.
Just because you are a "good guy" doesnt mean you should leave the house like you are color blind. At least have some style, take care of your appearance because if your appearance is not up to par, no girl will be interested long enough to see what a good guy you are. We are visual creatures, most of the time the first thing that catches our attention are visual. Have something other than being a "nice guy" going for you.
Get some confidence!!! the worst thing ever is seeing someone with no confidence, feeling all sorry for themselves. People like being around people that make them happy, and nothing is more saddening that someone with no self esteem. I mean you cant be a guy with no self esteem, it is a very bad combo. A girl with no self esteem will still get play, but not a guy.
Find something that is attractive about yourself... be funny, hit the gym,... or if all else fails get rich, that solves everything...lol
I dont even know why this kind of guys piss me off. One of my favorite sayings is "We hate in others what we hate about ourselves". Lol i think it slightly applies here. I have always hated when people said "Realist is a 'good guy'" Or when parents told their children to be more like "Realist the good boy". I never wanted ot be one of those lame people. But in essence i am just that, but i refuse to be pitiful...lol I ran accross one of these "good guys" today and inspired me to write this semi-rant.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
If you know me, then you know I used to be a homophobe. I knew a couple of queer people in boarding school and being at a stage when we usually ganged up, or walked in groups, it was relatively easy to absorb prejudices against gay people. I mean we didnt single gay people out, walking in gang just made you egalitarian with your prejudice: we hated on people that wore rubber sandals and people that didnt want to be lawyers, doctors or engineers or people that had the misfortune of being in the bottom in the bottom half of the class. I digress, all i want to point out was that being in a clique often made it easy to hate on the outsiders.
As I grew as a person though, and matured into thinking for myself (and might I add, after I had left school so no risk of a random gay dude butt-raping me, but thats my vestigial homophobia speaking lol ), I started evaluating these attitudes I had, to understand why I held them. Why didnt I like to be around gays, even though I had nothing against them? And I found out...nothing.
There was no reason whatsoever. (Oh yea, i mean concrete reasons, paranoia doesnt count.)
The prejudice i had against them was just that: a prejudice. Does the bible condemn it? Maybe, maybe not. If we condemn everything Scripture said was wrong, Jesus would have wacked the shit outta the adulterous woman. He had every right to, I mean, he was as sinless as they come. But he didnt. Cos he was giving us a model: humanity trumps morality. What you think is right or wrong should not get in the way of the respect we have for ourselves as people. And while I cannot claim to understand them completely, gay people, are first and foremost, people. Not a subset, like society wants us to believe. There is no such thing as a subset of people.No one has figured out people. People will be people: we cant be understood. We are all fallen trying to reach back to the vision of perfection : gay, straight, trans, all races, all classes, all religions.
If we want to criticise people on moral grounds, be equally moral for all gender expressions and sexual orientations. This is one area where Africa, is unfortunately, still too clingy towards its past. People justify their bias by saying , homosexuality is not in our culture. Well it is now! C'mon son! Neither was cinema, clubbing, facebook, flying in planes, Christianity, Islam, democratic politics and gin and juice but they're all part of it now. (And by accepting it wanst part of our culture, I dont say it didnt exist, but it wasnt engaged in by a significant portion of the people, or openly enough to be registered as part of their reality.) But today homosexuals are seeking expression. We subject them to a life where they have to be brave to be who they are, all bcos we cant let the past go? So will you be the wife of Lot that will stare back at visions lost? or will you welcome a new African culture, a blend of the past, present and near future? All Im saying is, times have changed. Arent you all the ones going on about change? If Greece had held on to 'culture and tradition' they would have died as city-states instead of emerging as a unified country that launched a global culture. If America held on to tradition, black people would still be slaves or worse yet, they would still be allegiant to the British crown. If people held on to every single tradition, our modern age would never have arisen gaddamit! We cannot hold on to a culture that glorifies dehumanisation, or continue to live in denial of the reality of our times. There are parts of our culture that deserve being held on to, our arts, our history, our language, our dress, our sense of worth and value and work ethic, our spirit of tolerance. People are all too quick to sweep these under the carpet, but when it comes to homosexuality, we suddenly become African ambassadors. Never mind the fact that some of these people we hate have done more to promote African culture and keep it alive than some of us have.
I guess all Im saying is, we need to join the rest of the world in the new age. Lets bring our African flair into it, and let us not, in the new global culture be known as the continent of homophobes. Let people see the hospitality, tolerance and communal bond we are known for. Change is inevitable. Maybe we were a dogmatic society in the past. But new information and new realities demand a new orientation.Instead of finding justification to hate in your religion, find justification to love. Thats what most religions are about. Thats what humans are about. But if you choose to be stuck in a state of mind that is judgmental or tries to make people into what they are not, then you need to answer some questions. First of which is: Are you God?
Friday, December 3, 2010
I am sure some of you at least once in your life have come across somebody who made the statement "Man should never play God."
For me, I came across that statement last night in class when we were talking about Stem Cell research and Cloning of other human beings etc. Some of the people in the class argued that they were against both stem cell research and clonings because they think that 'human beings' should not play God. We should not mess with what God has created or made natural.
Their argument struck me as completely absurd for these various reasons. Right now in the world, we have processed foods, foods that are made artificially for example fruits, tomatoes etc. They are able to be made without being grown and that's just one instance. Not to talk about the other instances where Doctors play God by saving human life through science and technology.
One of the other arguments some people in the class made was that if we cloned ourselves, it might lead to the over population of the world and disrupt the natural balance. Plus the science gained from stem cell research could figure out a way to stop people from aging and that would mean that people lived way longer than they should. Their argument again struck me as odd because they were arguing that supporting that kind of science would be nothing short of human beings playing God. I then asked them if they realised that human beings had been 'playing God' way before any of us were born? In the natural world, if you get sick or you contact natural diseases those diseases are a way of nature to root out the weak and keep the strong. It's also a natural way to balance the earth population, but human beings decided to invent drugs and medicine which would cure us from those natural diseases in essence making us live longer.
If those drugs did not exist, the only respite we as human beings would have as a cure is to pray to God and hope he answers us just like they did in the days of the bible. If God no answer your prayer, na to die be that. So when they say 'we human beings are playing God' then they should realise that in order to stop playing as God we need to get rid of all the scientific advances that have been made in order to enable we humans to be more effect.
The other aspect of this that I found bemusing was the fact that the very same people who say "Human Beings should not play God" are the very same people who credit God with the advances made by doctors, scientists etc. Sometimes when you ask people if you believe in God and not science why do you not only pray to God when your sick and let him heal you, why do you go to the doctor. Some people will respond with, how do you know it's not God working through the doctors?
My point is, if then it is God working through the doctors, scientists etc. Then the breakthroughs made in the medical and science profession are obviously of God's doing abi? So cloning and stem cell research are obviously approved by God.
I will define what stem cell research is for those who may not know what it is
Stem Cell Research - Stem cell research is a developing technology that focuses on using undifferentiated cells therapeutically to treat human disease and injury. Stem cells are primitive or unspecialized cells that can assist in tissue repair and rejuvenation. When they divide, stem cells have the potential to become any type of cell needed, such as brain, blood or muscle cells.
Monday, November 29, 2010
So apparently, Pastor Chris is under investigation by the EFCC unfortunately it's not because of his Jeri curls or horrible outfits which would be good enough reason to put him under investigation. He is being investigated because he has 35 million dollars in accounts that are un-accounted for.
"Chris Oyakhilome will be a guest of Nigeria’s anti-graft police, EFCC for using his church to launder funds which source could not be accounted for into foreign
Usually, I am all for busting bad pastors wide open, but the arguments against him have way too many loop holes for me to take them seriously. I have never really believed in his miracles especially since my mum made me stand in line for 3 hours 3 years in a row and my asthma is still here.
"Apart from this discovery of money laundering activity by the pastor, a couple of his church officials and members have also of recent featured in some major fraud issues. Not quite long a time, one of his pastors in Ogba area of Lagos was said to have stolen some millions of naira from the sheraton hotels ikeja where he worked as a manager before he was sacked when the fraud was discovered. He claimed in his statement to the police then that he donated the stolen money to Oyakhilome’s Christ embassy church to buy power generating sets and other church needs.
Also of recent, a young member of the church in Benin city, Edo state was arrested and prosecuted by the EFCC for engaging in internet marriage scam through which he defrauded a white lady. In his statement before he was convicted, he was said to have also confessed that he donated the bulk of the scam money to Oyakhilome’s church where he belongs as a strong member."
This is stupid, he cant be blamed for a few stupid members who steal to do 'good'. Just because criminals stole and donated money to his church does not make him a fraudster. It doesn't even apply to him, so either this reporter is genuinely stupid or really hates Pastor Chris.
Anyhow like I said, I'm all for busting bad pastor's and Christianity open but I cant take this seriously.
Read the full article here: http://bit.ly/flG1uJ
Anywho I can't find the Vanity image I usually use so:
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
So... my favorite holiday is here. Where we celebrate the wonderful native Indians helping the pilgrims survive here in America, then the pilgrims' descendants paid them back by taking their land and killing most of them. The Pilgrims came to America to escape religious persecution in England and ended up committing ethnic persecution on the Indians.
The thing that amuse me the most about thanksgiving is how African (from my experience) families celebrate it. It just becomes another excuse for a party...lol You know we dont care about the indians or pilgrims or whomever started this holiday; it is to congregate, gist, and eat we care about. And i dont even know how we incorporate dancing into it, but we do. Maybe we are dancing to be thankful of what God has done. Of all the thanksgiving dinners i have gone to, we have never gone accross the table to say why we are thankful. I doubt half of the African parents know about the origin of Thanksgiving. We prolly think it is the same thanksgiving we do in church every month. You know what i am talking about, the sunday church service that is especially long, with people dressed especially good, and dancing especially too much. The sunday i found it hardest to get good sleep in church because of all the commotion. Maybe it was just my church...lol
Anyways, for those celebrating it, remember the reason for the season, all those Indians who got their lands taken as a thank you from saving the pilgrims from starvation. So as you stuff your face with turkey or deplete your bank accounts on friday; a group of Native Americans will make their annual pilgrimage to Plymouth Rock to mourn and fast for all they have lost. Like Nas said on his song What Goes around "They call it it Thanksgiving, I call your holiday hellday".
Happy Thanksgiving!!! NOT!!!
Friday, November 19, 2010
They called him Lucifer back then, we call him Satan/Devil right now. Have you ever wondered about what the Devil planned to do with God if the coup in heaven had succeeded? I assume that the devil is smarter than all we humans but maybe 'less' smarter than God. So lets work with that assumption.
When we humans plan a coup, we usually have contingency plans in place on what will happen to the former leader that was overthrown. Most times it boils down to two options:
1. Kill the leader.
2. Throw the leader in Jail.
Most times throughout history, the leader has ended up being killed just because it is more cleaner and less worry that he might escape and foment trouble later.
Now lets go back to the options available to Lucifer. Lucifer could either kill God or he could throw him in jail. Now as a human being, I would not risk throwing God in Jail I would rather make sure he was dead because afterall God being alive posed a major threat to my new found regime. So I would venture to say that Devil if he was reasonable would seek the death penalty for the Lord our God. Which would raise an interesting question as to whether God can be killed.
Now some of you will say well Azazel, what is the point of all this over-thinking etc. Afterall, God ended up winning and Satan lost. Let us not forget that Satan convinced 1/3 of angels in heaven to side with him. That is no easy feat. That is the mark of a person who had made carefully strategic plans and even though they never bore fruition, at least the devil got to own earth.
I asked a question the other day on twitter, I asked what would happen if the Devil ruled the world? This one girl said that the world would be 'unlivable', that the devil would kill everybody. Blah Blah Blah LOL. Little did she know that the same bible states explicitly that the devil actually rules this world as per 'Earth'
In 2 Corinthians 4:4 - The devil is called the god of this world. He is the king or prince of this world. Now explain to me how the devil got a rotten deal? He got to rule the earth, something created by God. Maybe that was all he sought in the first place, afterall why rule something that is already being ruled when you can rule something of your own? Maybe the coup wasn't in order to take control of heaven, maybe it was to take control of earth.
The coup in heaven, happened before earth was created? So why would God go create us humans in a world that he knew was controlled by the Devil and his minions? Something that he knew had a high chance of failure.
Some of you will then say, 'Azazel if the Devil ruled earth, why would he allow God to walk into it and not 'arrest' or 'kill' God on site. I guess it's the same reason why the devil is able to walk into heaven when ever he pleases as evidenced in the book of Job 1.
The whole gist of this post is to make una think, if I didn't succeed in that then that just plain sucks.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
At my work place, I deal with customers (mainly females) from all races, my boss notices how well I interact with the most of the customers, especially the classy ones. However, only a few of the black customers are classy, those I get along with nicely, but the majority of the black chics tend to be ghetto as fuck. Some walk in with medium French fries and grease all over their hand and mouth and then request you pull out some hair for them to “feel.” With that behavior, how am I supposed to treat you respectfully? Keep in mind only a few of the black chics that I encounter at the store are classy, whereas most of the chics from other races tend to have less ghetto types. So if we look at the ratio, it is mathematically correct to say that I’m a lot friendlier with females from other races (not because of skin color, but class) than to black chics (although they are some non-black customers that irritate the shit out of me as well). My boss noticed the imbalance of friendliness and labeled me “oko oyinbo,” husband of a white lady. One day, this African woman (what exact country she’s from, I’m not too sure about; maybe Ghana? I know she talked like this: “Thes es theh weh I telk“) came to the store. She was an elderly somebody and pretty classy too. My perception of this woman was impeccable until my boss brought up the “oko oyinbo” topic, then everything went down south from there. She went on a rant about how marrying a non-African is bad for my health, how African girls are raised to be good submissive wives who would cook for you and support you no matter what, and how white women only marry black men because they’re rich. She even said that marrying a foreigner to Africa is a move of a traitor. At this point, arguing with this lady’s over-generalized views was pointless, so I just took all that rubbish with a smile on my face. After all, Sting said “it takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile.” This wasn’t even the only encounter of such fuckery that I had to endure; this other African guy from Ethiopia once asked me if I would marry outside my race, I just gave him an I-don’t-know shrug, he then gave me one of those are-you-kidding-me looks and said “You know what’s good for you right?” I just smiled, what else could I fucking do? It seems as though in certain social groups, the freedom to marrying an “outsider” is deeply frowned upon. It annoys me when I hear people say shit like “I can’t marry an Igbo man, they’re too violent on their wives” “I can’t marry a Yoruba chic, they’re too razz for my liking.” When you say ignorant shit like that, I can only wish you marry a non-Igbo wife beater and a non-Yoruba razztafarian. It’s sad how these idiots who make such foolish statements, have once in their lifetime watched tales that have life-altering lessons like Pocahontas or even Avatar.
Although, race and tribalism demonize the concept of marriage beyond it’s original shitty level, peer pressure is by far the most dangerous pathogen that can affect the marriage decision. Unfortunately, this is the most common, especially among women. This goes back to the saying, “if your friends are jumping into the water from the bridge (basically committing suicide), would you join them?” Apparently, a lot of women would. If you’ve ever been inside one of those female discussions about “who’s getting married and who isn’t,” you’d understand what I’m saying. Once, I eavesdropped on one of those convos and I heard something like this “If you’re 30 years old and you’re not married, something is wrong somewhere.” I thought to myself “what fuckery?” I know some 30+ year old beautiful and intelligent women who aren’t married, simply because they are too independent minded for the marriage bullshit. If being independent minded is wrong for a female, then wouldn’t that be an insult to womanhood? However, extraverted females without the independent state of mind tend to fall under the peer pressure their friends create. They realize that all their friends are getting married, but they’re still single, and they get into that extraverted depressed mode of feeling left out. This feeling could lead to desperation and getting themselves married to an incompetent asshole. Funny how your friends could play devil’s advocate and be the villainous ones in your life with the pressure they create.
To wrap up this long ass blog and trilogy, I’ll like to conclude by saying I’m not entirely against the notion of marriage, just against 98% of it. If indeed you should marry, there should only be one deciding factor; love and love only. You should only decide to marry the one or ones that share a strong emotional symbiotic connection with you. But modern marriage seems to drift from this, and that’s exactly why it fails 50% of the time. Modern marriage seems to be more focused on meeting a social status quo, security, selfishness, and producing offspring than it is for love. That’s why I created this sequel, to question the standard marriage and expose the bullshit the overloads it. Anyways, thanks for reading, been a while since I’ve been here and hope I’m not too rusty. Peace.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Somehow apparently, A woman's ability to know or not know how to cook makes her a substandard woman. Apparently if she chooses not to know how to sweat and toil chopping, mincing and cutting for two hours in a kitchen she somehow becomes a bad wife and/or mother. She becomes a sub-standard woman.
Apparently working two jobs and birthing babies does not make up for not knowing how to boil and fry. Really?
"Most of the ladies from 1950's mostly had their perfect lives as perfect housewives. Chores were not dull yet the real challenge to show what they were capable of. Glasses polishing might be considered even more difficult than typewriting. On the other way round, if they went to higher education, they were eventually trained to be the best secretaries. Yes, just to assist their men."
Here's my take and I am going to make this short and simple. If I work the same hours as you, you and I will find a way to divide the cooking responsibilities equally. If this doesn't sit well with you, then we will hire a cook if we can afford it. If somehow my children think that my inability to cook or my desire not to, makes me a bad mother then I and my partner have not raised them right. If for some reason my partner decides I am not woman enough for him (assuming I end up with a man here) because I decide not to know how to master the delicate balance between Maggi and salt then I deserve way better.
If I am a housewife, then yes it is only fair that I cook and clean. After all I am doing basically nothing else. If you are unemployed dear husband you would be required to cook and clean. If we're both working, we will both share the cooking and cleaning responsibilities. If this somehow demeans you as a man then I am insulted that you think I am beneath you because if you say this is demeaning to you then I darling husband am above cooking and cleaning too. If you haven't realized that by now we would be equal partners in our marriage.
The possibility that I will bend under pressure and treasure my "womanly roles" someday in the future is possible. I would be lying if I said I would never change into that woman because I don't know. If I do become that woman who works two jobs, does most of the cleaning and cooking because it is too demeaning for my husband to do then please someone please I beg you to kill me.
This is not a power struggle. Notice how I said working hours not earning more. Even if I am earning more but working less then it is only fair I take more household responsibilities and vice versa. Now honey you want to come home to a hot meal already made no? And somehow you expect that if I get home on some days maybe an hour before you I will pull some kind of miracle and whip up dinner for a king? You somehow do not imagine that I must be tired from work and want to collapse in front of the t.v.?
Obviously if we have kids, the working schedule will have to change but it will change believe it or not 50/50 so please hubby if you're are going to be a simple-minded jackass, I require that you do not come close to me. I would rather stay single forever than force myself to be something I'm not because you have some ancient rule book
Now if you as a woman love to cook and think the smile on your kids face from making a perfect pot of soup is somehow just enough for you, then honey go for it. Just remember that you are not somehow superwoman because you managed to add one more unnecessary duty to your board. Do not look down on those that either don't know how or don't want to. They are not less of a woman than you.
Someone is definitely going to say this either as a comment or in their mind "You're only saying this because you can't cook" Well stupid bastard I do know how to cook and well, but do I enjoy it? 80% of the time hell fucking no. First chance we get we're hiring a cook.
"the truth remains .. as a mother its not a good thing you cant cook.. I wish u well." That was said. I want to reply with logic but at the same time all I can think of are curse words that will make most people blush.
"Sex they say begins in d kitchen! D kitchen is as important as d bedroom! A woman must cook!" This was said by someone I respected. You want to know where that respect is right now? At the bottom of an ocean somewhere. What the fuck kinda quote is that? Sex begins in the kitchen? What logical sense does that make?
If you are going to argue with me please argue with sense and logic. Do not use outdated stances that your mother drilled into you because her mother drilled it into her. Women have been so badgered into what their roles are in life that now they don't need any outside badgering they'll badger their own damn self. You want to know what started this argument? "Ladies, if u don't know how to cook, its not cute. Seek help today!" a girl said this. If she thinks it is her divine honor to cook, cleaan, iron.. hell good for you come and do my laundry for me but when you belittle other women for not knowing or wanting to then we have a problem.
Another woman said this "All he wants is for you to be submissive. Be thankful he’s not assaulting, raping or murdering you, be thankful he’s not leering at you while yelling something distasteful about your assets"
Are you kidding me?! NO, No I will not be "thankful" that a guy is treating me with as much respect as I treat him. I will not be grateful that he chooses not to rape me, I will not look at him and think myself lucky that he has decided not to assault me today. Those things are a GIVEN, they are not things to be thankful for. Just as you wouldn't look at a female friend and feel grateful to her for not scratching your eyes out with her long red fingernails or stamping on your foot with her stiletto heel... I'm sorry, but to suggest we should be thankful for not being raped implies an expectation that it will happen, that the man in question is doing us a favor by not carrying out his rights as a Y-chromosome bearer. I should feel grateful for not being assaulted by someone just because he happens to be a Mike not Michelle.
I cant. I just can't.
I am to say the least mad.
Anyone who has never watched Mona lisa's smile, should. Apart from the star studded cast: Julia Roberts, Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles and Maggie Gyllenhal, the film gives a new perspective towards femininity and society.
The movie is about a girls' school in late 50's. Depicting how great the education for these young ladies, traditions, and the profound achievement of becoming great housewives when they graduate. When the new art teacher started her first class with her 50's-women-oriented students, the battle of ideas seemed to begin.
I really enjoyed the story line. Being slightly feminist made Katherine, the new teacher, the odd ball. Freedom of sex was even unacceptable, what could be worse than being dubbed as 'a whore' for being independent in sex? When Joan (played by Julia Stiles) refused to apply for Yale Law School against Katherine, her art history tutor (Julia Roberts) suggestion because she didn't want it. She even asserted that being a wife is what she always wanted. It was the most heartbreaking scene to me. I questioned why would women just want to be at home, tidy up, do laundry, and cook at the end of the day? Then I realized my hypocrisy. How could I be a feminist and not allow women make choices? This was my turning point. I realized that being feminist is all about having choices and being able to choose. Either becoming successful professionally or playing a Stepford wife, it is ok as long as your life is filled with happiness.
Feminism is about choice. Make your choice and I'll make mine.
Read this post: http://livileah88.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/im-living-in-the-50s/I support her view almost 90% even though her goal is to be a housewife. She is making her choice. "I personally would not choose to become a housewife as i don’t think it would fulfill me, in the same you work would probably not fulfill you. As long as a person is not hurting anyone then how they live their life is their choice. I think if u wish to be a 50s housewife good for you, go for it and fuck what others think."
How to Be a Good Housewife
Taken from a 1950's American High School Home Economics textbook, the essay is entitled "How to be a Good Wife." It reads in part:
Have dinner ready. Prepare yourself. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. Clear away the clutter -- run a dust cloth over the tables.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are God's creatures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise…eliminate the noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.
Listen to him: You may have dozens of things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other pleasant entertainments.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Ok I am here to vent a little, ok a lot, ok more than a lot I want to vent my frustrations for the past 4 months.
Recently and by recent I mean for the last 6 months or so, I have started to enter this 'promoting' business. Promoters as you all know make social networks very irritating by their constant harassing of people by their messages, or tags or events. Well I got into that business and well I to have turned to doing the very same thing which I used to detest back in 07 or 08.
Ok here lies my problem, for my last event I really went all out, brought in most of my friends to help me push this event and as the event went on, and everybody was noticing how huge it was going to be, some of my close friends started telling me that I had 'changed'. At that time, I was laughing it off, that they couldn't be serious. Why would an event change me? Nothing is that serious. But some of them kept reiterating the same thing, and I swear I still do not believe that I've changed one bit. The scale of the event demanded that it be promoted intensely, most people did not understand the full details behind the planning of the event hence like with everything else in life, people started making assumptions with no facts to back it up.
Well the event is over now, it was done back in October and 3 of our contributors on this very blog were in attendance. What especially grinds my gears is the fact that I have not spoken to some of my close friends since my event ended, and they have not spoken to me either. I feel like there is this whole 'PERCEPTION PROBLEM' between I and them. They perceive that I have changed, all about money and events/parties and I on my part have let their perception of me affect my own perception of them and the reality of the whole situation has been lost in the whole damn mix. Normally, I would reach out to see what the problem was, but in this instance I just know deep down that the perception they've developed of me is one of those perceptions which can not be easily shaken. If I try to prove to them that their perception is not true, all it would serve to do is make me look like am living a lie in order to prove to them that their perception is not real. Personally, I am not one to maintain an illusion just to please a mere human being, nobody is worth living a lie for.
And lowkey, there is this thing when it comes to Nigerians and yes I do intend to generalise with this comment. Most Nigerians have this innate thing in them that make them instantly 'envy or hate' on a person's success. And I won't lie, I am not different, I have found myself on several occasions hating on a person's success and I usually always have to chide myself for not being more positive. But I just don't get why Nigerians are like though, every single one of them wants to be fettered to. Wants to be made to feel important lol and when you don't do it, they'll hold it against you.
I came across this quote that said 'Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety'.
And it spoke to me greatly, because until some people learn to stop taking life and the things in it that seriously, they will never fully appreciate it.
I think I digress sha, I just hate the fact that this 'Perception Problem' is affecting my close friendships.
Before I leave, can somebody explain to me what it means to live and die with honor? That question has been plaguing me for awhile now.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I have various random thoughts on the whole twitter and facebook phenomenon. The thoughts might or might not have anything to do with each other...lol here they go. *Forgive me for not making sense, it is past my bed time and sleep is calling my name*
Twitter and facebook statusses make me laugh. Especially when people make statusses like "the new me starts, tomorrow, no more will take shit from anybody" Then the next day you see them in person expecting to see a difference and they are the same person, taking shit from everyone. Or you look at some chick's bio on twitter and it says "everything you want but cant have". Like really? only one person can have all the things i want but i cant have her? My life is over, why am i still existing, suicide is the only option. It is like people are using their tweets to compensate for their lack of self pride. If you were that great of a person, you would not need to tweet "i know i am the shit and your boyfriend knows it to".
The one that pissed me off is when someone can not survive without twitter. this girls' twitter statusses went like this "look at those guys throwing that ball, it better not hit me" "oh my god the ball hit me" "it hurts" "he apologised, oooh he is so cute, ill let him hit me anytime" "he said i was bleeding" "oh i am bleeding, where is a band aid when u need one" "he is slick looking at my boobs as he is putting on the bandaid" Like really, did you need to tweet all that? All the time you were tweeting, you messed around and got that cut infected.
I cant even do anything without someone tweeting it, is like the paparazzi is always around. People looking for something to tweet. "Oh look at him looking at her like that" or "these people are dancing like freaks, so disgusting" when the only reason it is disgusting is because you are not doing it. Folks be given blow by blow coverage of fights, with pre and post fight coverage. Everyone has their phones out at this party, waiting to find something tweet worthy. This 2 guys are having a tweet convo and they are next to each other wth? Why must you fail?
People seem to forget that twitter is REAL. I have one friend that keeps telling me "it is just twitter, no one takes it serious" when i text her saying she should watch what she is tweeting. I just can not understand it, twitter is real!! you do not need to be telling people your business on there because best believe people will talk and the wont care that it is just "twitter". Maybe i am just too conscious of how i people view me.
This chick is out here acting or ladylike... wth? she forgets that we all read her twitter. Was she not the one the other day saying that "you were nothing but a penis to me, i dont even remember your name, so stop trying to speak to me like we r cool". What is ladylike about that? Now this chick is out here acting like God is the only male that has seen her naked. If you are a whore and want to act like a lady, do me a favor and dont tweet about your whorish ways. I have no problems with whores that know they are whores... know and play your position.
Twitter is from the Illuminatti
Thursday, October 21, 2010
First of all, the title of the post is a generalization. Girls do not always give in, but most of the time they do LOL.
Now some of you probably think am talking in terms of giving into sex or peer pressure but sadly and most unfortunately that is not the case.
The type of 'giving in' am talking about is where a guy and girl have a little spat and then communication ceases for awhile, no more phone call, no more tweets, no more bbm, aim, yahoo messenger, NOTHING. And if you the two people are on some 'Oleku' level the 'no communication' probably lasts for 2 weeks until one of them usually the girl starts to 'THINK' and suddenly she's imagining whether he's ok? Whether she was at fault? Whether she shouldn't just give in and Ping him? Ping the living day lights out of that baggar until he responds lol.
Like for me for example, am a cold cold dude lmao, I can go a month and I won't ping you. Or even think of contacting you, I will literally forget you ever existed. (Got that from my mama) lol I kid I kid.
My point is this though, I was talking to a female friend of mine about that and I believe that the women who actually make the effort to be the first to restore communication are obviously the 'bigger person' in the relationship. And NOPE women are not weak because they finally bow and give in and pick up the phone and call, it actually takes a lot of strength to do that. So to all those lovely women who've realised that nobody ever choked
by swallowing their pride and picked up their phone to call that 'baggar of a dude' to
reconcile. I say to you 'More Grease to your ashy ashy elbows" lol.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
So I and my friend were chilling watching Fox News and the controversy about an islamic center being built on a land owned by Muslims in Tennessee came up. This community center is different from the one in New York incase some of you were wondering. And also, some of you might be wondering what is up with Islamic community centers being built everywhere this days? Am wondering the same to LOL I kid I kid.
Anywayz, my friend then said something like "You would never see christians saying they want to kill for their religion or die for their religion" and to which I replied "because their religion is not worth dying for".
Now before we go on with every other thing pertaining to this blog post, I want to ask whether the religion each and every single one of you practices is worth dying for? If yes, Why is it worth dying for?
Somepeople then said it was because 'Jesus already died for the sins of christians" but Allah seems to prefer that 'muslims die for their own sins".. That elicited a huge LOL from me...
Saturday, October 16, 2010
"We would not let ourselves be burned to death for our opinions; We are not sure enough of them for that. But perhaps for the right to have our opinions and to change them."
When a person accuses you of being fake, that they know the 'Real Azazel' do they not assume that the Azazel they knew before was the real Azazel? My professor brought that up in class the other day, you see some people accuse somebody they've known of being or acting 'fake'. But who says that the person they are now, is not the real person ? And even if they've changed, is that not a human quality? The ability to change when you please?
She asked me whether I wanted to go to church with her on Sunday to a revelation seminar. I asked whether the seminar would be at a church and she said yes. She said she wanted me to attend because she had heard me say that I want Truth and that she was offering me the opportunity to find truth at the seminar. I then asked her, are you 100% sure that I will find truth at the seminar? She then replied and I quote " If you believe that the bible holds truth, then yes". See the problem with that response is that for me to find truth, I would first have to believe that the bible is 100% true. That left me little wiggle room.
I do believe that some parts of the bible are true, some parts of the bible are lies and other parts are simply plagiarism. Now in her mind, she believes the bible is true 100% and to be honest I can't imagine how a human being full of reason can read the entire bible and approve the whole thing to be true. If indeed she believed the entire bible to be true, I would hope she would be satisfied with the way women are treated in the bible?
Got into a little spat with them folks at amebor.com. I am still of the opinion that they are a gossip site that has no substance whatsoever. In their defence, their website is not all about gossip, they have a business section to LOL. But seriously the fact that it's a gossip site run by grown men sort of makes me wonder about my dreams in life. Can you imagine if I had told my father that when I grow up I want to be CEO of a gossip site. Hmm na wa o.
Came across this quote that I wished to share with all my readers.