Just Another Rant

I actually wrote this on May 27th... I just never posted it. I didnt read through it but i am sure i still feel the same way just that now, i am more at peace with what i was ranting about... lol Here goes ...

This is just a rant, no hidden agenda, no me trying to act like i know better than anyone, this is what i feel most comfortable with. All i got is questions, few answers, and if we are real with ourselves that is all we have. One of My favorite books is The Count of Monte Cristo. At the end Edmond Dantes(the greatest man to ever live...lol) says this quote "Until the day when God shall deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is summed up in these two words, —'Wait and hope'." The author Alexandre Dumas writes exactly what i feel, we really do not know anything, all it is is a wait game to see if we were right, and some of our wisdom turns to folly, (the earth is flat, the earth is the center of the universe) and some of our wisdom is really hope (prime example is religion, all it is is hope that we chose the one). But where i deviate from Dumas is, what if there is no "god" to reveal it? What if there is really nothing to reveal, what if Life is just a random event based on no laws or design... on to the rant...

Mehn there has to be an afterlife... this short life can not be it. I REFUSE!!! There has to be something more. If you really look at it, life is soo short, i closed my eyes twice and i am 22, soon i will have a family and kids. Soon after that i will be old man and die. Thats if i dont just drop and die. I find it hard that this is just it. What about those kids that die at 1 yr, is that it for them? They dont get a chance to come back and try to live longer. I understand the body fading, but what about the essence, the soul, that just cant be a one and done, how can it just fade? We dont get to come back? Then i wonder what if this is not my first time here? Who was i in my past life? Did i have the same personality? Was i Nigerian? Or maybe i was Napoleon. That could explain why out of all the historical figures i like him the best, plus we have the same birthday. Was i a girl? or maybe i was a cow?
All these are just a few questions i have, and i think some of y'all might have the same questions. It seems like that is what life is... a bunch of questions few answers. I thought that when i was grown up, i would have all the answers. Now i realise that when adults used to answer me with "it just is", or "it is because i say so". It is because they like me had no idea why "it was so". Its so funny the more we know, the more we find out how little we know. All i know is that life is too short, and i wasted 20 yrs of it, i have only been enjoying it for 2 yrs, and it makes me regret all that time i wasted trying to be anything other than "Realist". I want a re-do.
If there is no after life then what is the meaning of our existence? Maybe the meaning of life is that there is no meaning, all we are are numbers in the population, nothing more, a lot less. Accepting this is harsh, but i can fool myself into believeing that this is not a possibility. What i could do is form some kind of meaning of life, which makes me feel good and useful...

I guess this is how religions start.

I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MYSELF....

For the first time in a longest time I can remember, I have had to censor myself. And well I've always dreaded the day where I would have to censor my thought, not my speech. It's easy for mostly every human being to censor their speech but when it comes to censoring thought that's a totally different level for me. (I swear I feel so guilty that I've not blog runs in a whole week, to say that I've been busy would be an understatement, make una forgive me o. Am doing blogrounds right now though)

I can't share what happened because well that's just the situation, but what I've learnt today really opened my eyes to something. My blog name truly deserves it's name, truth don die indeed. Blogsville peeps I have a question for all of you, lets say a lot of people believe in something that brings them happiness/inspiration but that  belief is not based in truth but in half lies/full lies is it OK to challenge it or even try to criticize it seeing as it brings a whole lot of joy and happiness to people? What do you think?

In my school I got a job and the nature of my job means that I get to advocate social justice, promote diversity and encourage empathy among everybody. Basically in that job there is a lot of political correctness that is expected from the employees at this place. I did not realise till today that just because of that job, I now have to watch what I say, how I think and even the questions I ask. All of you know that I love asking questions and sometimes I tend to ask a lot of probing questions. Now in my job I am suppose to 'bring people together' and 'alleviate tension' but I've started observing somethings. Some of the people that work there would rather sacrifice 'free thought' just so as everyone/everybody is appeased and I've been asking myself is it really worth it? They preach political correctness but I feel that they should start preaching 'Political honesty'. Has anybody heard that song by Gavin Degraw? It's called 'I don't want to be' that's honestly how I feel right now. If this job I got is going to make me be one of those people who would prefer sweeping issues under the rug just for the purpose of illegitimate peace then my heart is never going to be fully into the job. Because at this job, I get to put on workshops and host forums and I am the kind of person when I speak about something I can usually tell when people feel like I am speaking from the heart, but if I do not believe in what am doing then people are going to view me as phony.

Well I don't know if this post makes sense but this whole thing is really saddening me because I've observed it among adults that as they grow older or as they become older people find it harder to maintain their principles. I mean somepeople still hold on to a few of them in private but majority of people I believe when faced with either 'money from a job' over their 'principles' will choose the money. Somepeople then start to say that wisdom comes with age, but I tend to disagree. Most people don't become wise as they age they become weary, they start to question whether it is worth the effort to actually 'ask questions'. And in the back of my mind I always knew that the day would come when I would censor myself from asking a question because I either feared physical harm to myself or I feared being cut off from financial support. And I know deep down that if I ever sink to low that I become so scared to ask questions that I feel are necessary for my progress as a human being, life would not be worth living for me ever. `Blogsville peeps I am really sorry for taking sometime to update, but I have been busy with school and a couple of other things. I never thought I would see the day when I would get tired of blogging but truth be told I really am falling out of love with blogging. *sigh*.

But back to my topic sha, I am the kind of person if I find out that I have truly offended someone I am quick to apologise if I am in the wrong. Sometimes when I ask questions of people's beliefs they accuse me of disrespecting their beliefs and I wonder. Is it possible to disrespect a person's beliefs by asking tomany questions?

But I have a question to all the ladies on blogsville, see I am assuming that all of you are ladies o, not vagabonds lol. But can someone please explain to me why some women after discovering that their fiance/boyfriend/husband has been cheating on them go confront the lady that the husband has been cheating on them on through mediums such as 'texting/phone/facebook/email'. Why would you bother sending facebook messages to the woman he's cheating on you on? When you can confront him and him alone? This is just something I've never understood about certain women.

I AM NOT A CYNICAL PERSON..

I did my bloggers I hate with a passion blogpost the other day, and I forgot to mention VERA EZIMORA.. Let's just say that that was a major ehn fuckup lol, and there are a whole other bloggers I admire that I have not mentioned. When I do I shall remind you of them.

Lol I am pissed no be small. So two of my female friends told me that I am a very 'CYNICAL HUMAN BEING', that me Azazel do not believe in happy endings and that I always see stuff in it's negative light. So I've been thinking about what they said and well I came to the conclusion that I am honestly the sort of person that cannot stand delusions of any kind. And lets be honest and I mean completely honest, a lot of these things we humans do if we dig through each layer and go to it's core we will discover it's really ehm not as great as we make it out to seem. For example take 'Love' it is an awesome feeling and we get happy thinking about the other person and what they represent to us. We appreciate the beauty of our partner, and we love the sex, we love the conversation, we love all those things and they make us happy. But if we were honestly to analyse it, our partner is no different than any man/woman out there. It's just that we just like the qualities that person has more than the other people Idk if am making sense, all am saying is that we human beings really live a cold and painful existence and we need these 'delusions' in other to be happy. Am the kind of person who would rather be mad with 'truth' than sane with 'lies' and somepeople do not get that. It's a shame I guess, and that's the thing about philosophy lol. It teaches one to be unhappy more intelligently. And well back to my problem lol.  I am going to steal with Saucekid said about himself because it represents me also. A lot of people seem to think/assume that I am a 'free bird' or that I am somebody who gives my opinion about a lot of things but the problem about that is that, there are honestly certaain things I can never give my opinion about and I cannot mention them. (Ok this was going to be a blogpost, but I think I just entered into rant mode lol, so bear with me). 'I make friends with people who think that they like me. Then they find out that they can't change me. Then they change and this happens to many many times. And you honestly do not know how weary this makes me of people, because somepeople hear me talk and they love the way my brain works and out of curiosity they choose to 'pick' my brain right. Now some of these people probably agree with me on a certain issue, and they'll say things like 'I love how your able to question people's beliefs and you do not care if you differ with others'. Now everytime people say that to me, I always want to ask them, do you love me as long as I question the beliefs of other people? Or would you still love me if I questioned your own beliefs? See personally I will be honest with yall, there is no belief which I hold close to my heart that I am willing to die for. if you prove to me with logic/reason that my belief is stupid, I will swallow it hook, line and sinker. There is a quote that says ' If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything'. Now that quote is very stupid, the white slave owners who stood for their right to have slaves were wrong, the Hitlers of the world who stood for their right to have a master 'Aryan' race were wrong, so it is sometimes good to stand for somethings and it is also good sometimes to fall for other things.

Every great dictator/tyrant in the world has always had something that have kept people in line. They have always been able to dangle a threat/fear over their subjects that made their subjects obey them out of fear. Machiavelli asked 'Is it better to be feared or loved'? And the answer is, it is better to be feared and Machiavelli was one smart dude. Hitler had his concentration camps, Stalin had his 'gulags' and God has hell. Lets be honest, if there was no hell a lot of us lmao would not give a crap about the almighty. The only reason most of us go to church and do all this stupid religious stuff is because we no wan go hell. Remove hell from the equation and a lot of us have lost the incentive/motivation to be religious. Abi I dey lie?

When some of this yeye preachers go on and on about Jesus died for sins, and sacrificed for us and brought salvation to us so we should worship him and be grateful. Well I am here to say that Jesus hardly made the greatest sacrifice. He knew he would be resurrected anyway'.Anybody would die for the sins of the world if they knew they were goin 2 be resurrected three days later. I mean lets think about it, people like Ghandi/MLK made greater sacrifices than Jesus. They knew that there was a possibility that they could be killed and maimed with no oppurtunity of being resurrected yet they went ahead with it. Jesus knew he would be resurrected yet he cried like a baby to his daddy(GOD) in the garden of Gethsamane praying for God to take away the burden of dying for our sins from him. Honestly I don't get it, what was he crying for? He was going to be resurrected three days later, he was well aware of that. In another day, in another place, with more 'vulgar' people someone could accuse Jesus of being a 'p*ssy*. Just saying. 

AZAZEL RANTING ON A SUNDAY....

This post is going to be about my thoughts lol, so I'll basically be rambling and ranting also.


1.So I was watching "Bridge to Terabitha" and if you've not watched the movie before, go and google it. I am to lazy to explain what the movie was about. But for those of us who have been privileged to watch the movie, I honestly felt that everybody wishes there was a magical world in which they could live in, in which everything would be AWESOME!!  And I honestly really really do miss my childhood, like everytime I see kids I hope and wish that they never grow up to experience this bad bad world. Why did that little girl die in this movie? Are they mad? I spend my saturday night watching this movie and this is what it amounts to? I thank God I never believed in happy endings anyway. Even when i read novels, I get thoroughly disgusted when they have happy endings. What fuckerey? Lmao.. Life is not about happy endings, it's definitely about sad endings.. (Pictures some people wondering what kind of bitter childhood I must have gone through.. Lmao). I had a perfect childhood btw.




2. I've come to the realisation that nobody judges me harder than myself, like I judge myself and critique myself everyday it's ridiculous.I try very hard to live by the saying 'To thine own self be true' and to live life for myself because, ultimately, no one else is going to get anything out of it but me.  And I think that because I am able to critique myself at every given moment, I feel entitled to judge others completely and totally without feeling bad with myself. So guys, if you ever feel that I have a mean-streak now you know why. I am entitled to be MEAN!


3. So I was reading parts of the Quran the other day, and I was just struck by the account of Genesis as recorded in the Quran and there was this one part of a chapter that struck me. It basically talks about people who have known much yet at the end have known nothing. I just felt that that particular quote was referring to me, I know that I am smart but at the same time I realise that I do not know everything. What disturbed me about that quote was the fact that after everything we learn, the numerous PHDs, or Bachelor degrees that we earn do not matter at the end of the day when we finally die. Death will not spare anybody just because one person has a PHD and because the other has a high school diploma because death is definitely no respecter of persons.


4. I am highly amused with the concept of "lying", why do people lie? What motivates people to lie. On the news channels, they bring people in to analyse stuff and people blatantly lie on T.V. Most of the people on T.V get paid to lie to people and they do it without remorse. Most of the time, the people doing the lying actually start to see the lie as truth. People lie, it is as simple as that. Some like to lie for the effect it has; others lie without knowing it, in other to protect themselves from scruitiny; still others lie to themselves.Personally, I lie a lot and am not ashamed to admit it. A lot of people are in the same boat, and I've actually taken to forgiving people who lie to me, seeing as I take almost everything people tell me as lies anyway. There is a reason why this blog is aptly named "Truth don die", because I honestly do believe that Truth is Dead in almost every aspect of our society. Females want you to lie to them, Males want you to stroke their ego, life is basically about stroking egos and lying to people so as to make people feel important with their useless selfs. Moreover, this days when I watch the news and listen to people talk I try to decipher the lies from the fragments of truth lying within their stories. If one person believes a story, it becomes a truth for him. It’s difficult to determine what happened as opposed to what people thought happened, wanted to happen, felt should have happened. And this is how truth is lost.


5. I am not trying to rag on females, but honestly a relationship based totally on "Truth" is doomed to failure. As a guy, if you are honest 100% of the time with your female partner the lifespan of your relationship is give or take 9 months. I already reached the conclusion a long time ago that females are allergic to truth, so I just lie and keep on lying most of the time. At the end of the day, I avoid wahala for myself and the babe in question remains happy innit? So nobody loses.


6. I laugh at these silly animal rights commercials on T.V. They play corny songs and expect people to feel compassion for the poor cats and dogs and proceed to donate money to such a cause. I for one feel that people who donate to animal rights organisations are STUPID!!. Person never finish donating to humans, na animals person wan donate to? So stupid. Did yall know that that whole animal rights ish is close to 1 billion dollars in donation? Can you imagine?


7. Anywayz, but I urge all of you readers never to misplace the trust people place in you. Value your good friends and value their friendship. And please please please, learn to forgive your friends no matter what they do to you. People die everyday mehn, trust me you do not want to be the loser who neglected to forgive a friend just because over some money, or some guy or some girl. Remember the good times you had with people and cherish them. No matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt you once in a while so please FORGIVE O.


8. In this life, you are going to get misunderstood, people will say spiteful and mean things to you but never ever let those things get to you. Sometimes, the criticism made about you might actually be true, and if it is true try to work towards changing it. I found this quote about criticism "Don't mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it; if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignorant, smile; if it is justified it is not criticism, learn from it."

9. On the subject of crying, I use to consider crying a big PUSSY move, like a very very big PUSSY move. Infact, if you were a guy and you cried something was automatically wrong with you in my opinion. But this days, I've come to see that it takes a strong man and woman to cry. Crying is not weakness, rather it is strength. Even though I have not been able to bring myself to cry for anything,  I no longer judge people for crying. I just hope nobody or no baggar babe ever calls my fone again wanting to cry over something. I hate when babes do that, like seriously come on.... Who wants to spend a significant portion of their night allotted sleep time comforting your sorry ass. You should have had the wisdom to pick a better boyfriend, and if the dude is the reason that you are bugging me from enjoying my sleep then he is DEFINITELY not worth it.


Oya, am done Ranting lmao. Gosh, I need to improve on this ranting thing. Bubbles what letter grade would you give this rant of mine?