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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I BOW FOR WOMEN

Sorry womenfolk if this post offends. I just try to tell the truth.
and the truth is...


I mean, we all grew up with the straight forward template-men cheat. It never even occured to me to wonder if women cheat or not until I was like 14. Imagine that. 
Soon after the transition to adulthood though, everyone pretty much amends that template to women cheat, but men cheat more. But guys, I have come to the realization that women cheat just as much, if not more than men. And I don't even think it started now, I believe women have always cheated at the same rate as they do now. Which makes me wonder why men have earned the stereotype of being the cheaters across the millenia while women are looked at as almost innocent who are only forced to cheat when they are neglected or practically pushed to it. And I discovered one thing: women are jedi. They can jedi mindfuck you to believe in their innocence even when their guilt is clear as sparkling water. 'Feminine wiles' they call it. 'Scam' I call it. Plus women can hide things, and fake a whole new reality to make you believe that what is there, really isn't there. How else can Goldie (RIP) hide a full grown white nigga for like a decade and no one even smelled a whiff, talk less of a hint, that she has a side nigga husband. Feminine wiles, they say. Scam, I say. Doesn't she have friends? 
And then we men, we get fooled by that deer-in-the-headlights innocent look and you just can't believe them capable of the kind of evil we men do as a matter of course. There are so many things women have done around me that if I wasn't there to see, I would die before I believed it. And yet, when they put that look on their face, I even begin to doubt what I've seen. Don't lie and say you've not seen that look put into use. For instance, look at Kirsten Stewart (old story, I know). But, look at her. She looks like she's always about to cry. With a face like that, how can you doubt anything she says. "oh I love my boyfriend so much" and we're like Aye, she does, can't you see the look on her face. And when she came back after cheating and was like 'Im sorry it just happened' we still are like 'Come on now, can't you see she is about to cry. It really did just happen. Bad director.'
But my people, does cheating JUST HAPPEN? 
LOL, nah. 
I know better 
if offensive language offends you, skip the next paragraph. 
if you read 'offensive language' and think..now thats my shit, READ ON.

Truth be told, nothing a woman does JUST HAPPENS. Women are too calculating for that. Kirsten had that director dick inside her and she loved every bit of it. While he was hammering her wet little p***y, he told her what a little slut she was and if her boyfriend was aware that she was such a dirty little slut. When she replied between two heavy breaths a whispered “no”, he spanked her a** and told her that she’s a nasty little slut and that she should be ashamed of cheating on her boyfriend. he then ordered her to “say that you’re my little bitch. SAY IT”. She said “I’m your little bitch”. “Say that you love cheating on your boyfriend with daddy’s big dick”. “I love cheating… I love cheating on my boyfriend with daddy’s big dick. oooohhhh yes. F**K ME . F**K MEEEEE”…Next thing you know. “I’m sorry about the whole affair. It just happened.”. *insert cry face*

mind you, the above paragraph wrote itself.

Kirsten is not alone. Right now, I default think every girl, given the chance, will cheat. Now lets be clear, its not the cheating I'm mad at. We do it too, but then again we already know we are evil. And I don't care one way or the other. Its just how women have been able to pull off this trick that even when we see them cheating, we still think they're not prone to cheating.It must have 'just happened'. How do they do it? Because I need my own 'just happened' juju abeg.
Meanwhile if it is true that there are legitimate trust worthy women and I am just jaded beyond belief, let me know as well.