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Monday, November 29, 2010

Pastor Chris and Fraud

Disclaimer: This post does not reflect the views of every member of this blog. 

So apparently, Pastor Chris is under investigation by the EFCC unfortunately it's not because of his Jeri curls or horrible outfits which would be good enough reason to put him under investigation. He is being investigated because he has 35 million dollars in accounts that are un-accounted for.

"Chris Oyakhilome will be a guest of Nigeria’s anti-graft police, EFCC for using his church to launder funds which source could not be accounted for into foreign
bank accounts. The illicit funds so far traced by security agents stand at over $35 million."

Usually, I am all for busting bad pastors wide open, but the arguments against him have way too many loop holes for me to take them seriously. I have never really believed in his miracles especially since my mum made me stand in line for 3 hours 3 years in a row and my asthma is still here.

"Apart from this discovery of money laundering activity by the pastor, a couple of his church officials and members have also of recent featured in some major fraud issues. Not quite long a time, one of his pastors in Ogba area of Lagos was said to have stolen some millions of naira from the sheraton hotels ikeja where he worked as a manager before he was sacked when the fraud was discovered. He claimed in his statement to the police then that he donated the stolen money to Oyakhilome’s Christ embassy church to buy power generating sets and other church needs.

Also of recent, a young member of the church in Benin city, Edo state was arrested and prosecuted by the EFCC for engaging in internet marriage scam through which he defrauded a white lady. In his statement before he was convicted, he was said to have also confessed that he donated the bulk of the scam money to Oyakhilome’s church where he belongs as a strong member."

This is stupid, he cant be blamed for a few stupid members who steal to do 'good'. Just because criminals stole and donated money to his church does not make him a fraudster. It doesn't even apply to him, so either this reporter is genuinely stupid or really hates Pastor Chris.

Anyhow like I said, I'm all for busting bad pastor's and Christianity open but I cant take this seriously.

Read the full article here:

Anywho I can't find the Vanity image I usually use so:

Vanity xx

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


So... my favorite holiday is here. Where we celebrate the wonderful native Indians helping the pilgrims survive here in America, then the pilgrims' descendants paid them back by taking their land and killing most of them. The Pilgrims came to America to escape religious persecution in England and ended up committing ethnic persecution on the Indians.

The thing that amuse me the most about thanksgiving is how African (from my experience) families celebrate it. It just becomes another excuse for a You know we dont care about the indians or pilgrims or whomever started this holiday; it is to congregate, gist, and eat we care about. And i dont even know how we incorporate dancing into it, but we do. Maybe we are dancing to be thankful of what God has done. Of all the thanksgiving dinners i have gone to, we have never gone accross the table to say why we are thankful. I doubt half of the African parents know about the origin of Thanksgiving. We prolly think it is the same thanksgiving we do in church every month. You know what i am talking about, the sunday church service that is especially long, with people dressed especially good, and dancing especially too much. The sunday i found it hardest to get good sleep in church because of all the commotion. Maybe it was just my

Anyways, for those celebrating it, remember the reason for the season, all those Indians who got their lands taken as a thank you from saving the pilgrims from starvation. So as you stuff your face with turkey or deplete your bank accounts on friday; a group of Native Americans will make their annual pilgrimage to Plymouth Rock to mourn and fast for all they have lost. Like Nas said on his song What Goes around "They call it it Thanksgiving, I call your holiday hellday".

Happy Thanksgiving!!! NOT!!!

Friday, November 19, 2010


They called him Lucifer back then, we call him Satan/Devil right now. Have you ever wondered about what the Devil planned to do with God if the coup in heaven had succeeded? I assume that the devil is smarter than all we humans but maybe 'less' smarter than God. So lets work with that assumption. 

When we humans plan a coup, we usually have contingency plans in place on what will happen to the former leader that was overthrown. Most times it boils down to two options:

1. Kill the leader.
2. Throw the leader in Jail. 

Most times throughout history, the leader has ended up being killed just because it is more cleaner and less worry that he might escape and foment trouble later.

Now lets go back to the options available to Lucifer. Lucifer could either kill God or he could throw him in jail. Now as a human being, I would not risk throwing God in Jail I would rather make sure he was dead because afterall God being alive posed a major threat to my new found regime. So I would venture to say that Devil if he was reasonable would seek the death penalty for the Lord our God.  Which would raise an interesting question as to whether God can be killed. 

Now some of you will say well Azazel, what is the point of all this over-thinking etc. Afterall, God ended up winning and Satan lost. Let us not forget that Satan convinced 1/3 of angels in heaven to side with him. That is no easy feat. That is the mark of a person who had made carefully strategic plans and even though they never bore fruition, at least the devil got to own earth. 

I asked a question the other day on twitter, I asked what would happen if the Devil ruled the world? This one girl said that the world would be 'unlivable', that the devil would kill everybody. Blah Blah Blah LOL. Little did she know that the same bible states explicitly that the devil actually rules this world as per 'Earth'

In 2 Corinthians 4:4 - The devil is called the god of this world. He is the king or prince of this world. Now explain to me how the devil got a rotten deal? He got to rule the earth, something created by God. Maybe that was all he sought in the first place, afterall why rule something that is already being ruled when you can rule something of your own? Maybe the coup wasn't in order to take control of heaven, maybe it was to take control of earth.

The coup in heaven, happened before earth was created? So why would God go create us humans in a world that he knew was controlled by the Devil and his minions? Something that he knew had a high chance of failure.

Some of you will then say, 'Azazel if the Devil ruled earth, why would he allow God to walk into it and not 'arrest' or 'kill' God on site. I guess it's the same reason why the devil is able to walk into heaven when ever he pleases as evidenced in the book of Job 1.

The whole gist of this post is to make una think, if I didn't succeed in that then that just plain sucks.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Marriage 3. The Finale

Blogsville, I’m baaaaack. To be absolutely honest, I miss this great town called Blogsville, where great ideas are shared like stocks on wall street. Anyways, my absence has been due to my busy schedule of late, and also because it is Fall Season (meaning a lot of great TV: NFL, EPL, Dexter, NBA, etc). But for my arrival back, I intend to put closure on the Marriage sequel, thus making it a trilogy. After all, things are usually better in threes; 3D, Holy Trinity, threesomes, Star Trek Trilogy, Three Wise Men etc. Today I continue my bashing of marriage, by talking about the socio-cultural aspects of it. Like most of you, I’ve heard a lot of ignorant statements from people about who they want their “future spouse” to be (or not to be). In high school, I was close friends with this Asian chick, but her ignorance dulled me a lot. She once told me that she can never date a colored person. First of all, I hate that term colored person/people with a fucking passion, because it’s used as a synonym for blacks, which makes no sense being that black is the absence of color, so to call a black person colored is quite paradoxical. Anyways, I asked the chick why she felt that way, and she was like “I don’t know, I just can’t date ‘em.” Of course it should be no surprise to y’all that our friendship didn’t last, not because she wouldn’t date black guys (I was far from being interested in her), but because of her over stupidity. Now when/if she does get married to a guy with the right skin color, and her kids decide they want to get “chocolate wasted,” how would you think their stupid mom would react? Let me leave you with that to ponder, but in a broader sense, this is how ignorance is handed down by generation, it starts with one stupid parent at a time.

At my work place, I deal with customers (mainly females) from all races, my boss notices how well I interact with the most of the customers, especially the classy ones. However, only a few of the black customers are classy, those I get along with nicely, but the majority of the black chics tend to be ghetto as fuck. Some walk in with medium French fries and grease all over their hand and mouth and then request you pull out some hair for them to “feel.” With that behavior, how am I supposed to treat you respectfully? Keep in mind only a few of the black chics that I encounter at the store are classy, whereas most of the chics from other races tend to have less ghetto types. So if we look at the ratio, it is mathematically correct to say that I’m a lot friendlier with females from other races (not because of skin color, but class) than to black chics (although they are some non-black customers that irritate the shit out of me as well). My boss noticed the imbalance of friendliness and labeled me “oko oyinbo,” husband of a white lady. One day, this African woman (what exact country she’s from, I’m not too sure about; maybe Ghana? I know she talked like this: “Thes es theh weh I telk“) came to the store. She was an elderly somebody and pretty classy too. My perception of this woman was impeccable until my boss brought up the “oko oyinbo” topic, then everything went down south from there. She went on a rant about how marrying a non-African is bad for my health, how African girls are raised to be good submissive wives who would cook for you and support you no matter what, and how white women only marry black men because they’re rich. She even said that marrying a foreigner to Africa is a move of a traitor. At this point, arguing with this lady’s over-generalized views was pointless, so I just took all that rubbish with a smile on my face. After all, Sting said “it takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile.” This wasn’t even the only encounter of such fuckery that I had to endure; this other African guy from Ethiopia once asked me if I would marry outside my race, I just gave him an I-don’t-know shrug, he then gave me one of those are-you-kidding-me looks and said “You know what’s good for you right?” I just smiled, what else could I fucking do? It seems as though in certain social groups, the freedom to marrying an “outsider” is deeply frowned upon. It annoys me when I hear people say shit like “I can’t marry an Igbo man, they’re too violent on their wives” “I can’t marry a Yoruba chic, they’re too razz for my liking.” When you say ignorant shit like that, I can only wish you marry a non-Igbo wife beater and a non-Yoruba razztafarian. It’s sad how these idiots who make such foolish statements, have once in their lifetime watched tales that have life-altering lessons like Pocahontas or even Avatar.

Although, race and tribalism demonize the concept of marriage beyond it’s original shitty level, peer pressure is by far the most dangerous pathogen that can affect the marriage decision. Unfortunately, this is the most common, especially among women. This goes back to the saying, “if your friends are jumping into the water from the bridge (basically committing suicide), would you join them?” Apparently, a lot of women would. If you’ve ever been inside one of those female discussions about “who’s getting married and who isn’t,” you’d understand what I’m saying. Once, I eavesdropped on one of those convos and I heard something like this “If you’re 30 years old and you’re not married, something is wrong somewhere.” I thought to myself “what fuckery?” I know some 30+ year old beautiful and intelligent women who aren’t married, simply because they are too independent minded for the marriage bullshit. If being independent minded is wrong for a female, then wouldn’t that be an insult to womanhood? However, extraverted females without the independent state of mind tend to fall under the peer pressure their friends create. They realize that all their friends are getting married, but they’re still single, and they get into that extraverted depressed mode of feeling left out. This feeling could lead to desperation and getting themselves married to an incompetent asshole. Funny how your friends could play devil’s advocate and be the villainous ones in your life with the pressure they create.

To wrap up this long ass blog and trilogy, I’ll like to conclude by saying I’m not entirely against the notion of marriage, just against 98% of it. If indeed you should marry, there should only be one deciding factor; love and love only. You should only decide to marry the one or ones that share a strong emotional symbiotic connection with you. But modern marriage seems to drift from this, and that’s exactly why it fails 50% of the time. Modern marriage seems to be more focused on meeting a social status quo, security, selfishness, and producing offspring than it is for love. That’s why I created this sequel, to question the standard marriage and expose the bullshit the overloads it. Anyways, thanks for reading, been a while since I’ve been here and hope I’m not too rusty. Peace.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Sub Standard Woman

Somehow apparently, A woman's ability to know or not know how to cook makes her a substandard woman. Apparently if she chooses not to know how to sweat and toil chopping, mincing and cutting for two hours in a kitchen she somehow becomes a bad wife and/or mother. She becomes a sub-standard woman.

Apparently working two jobs and birthing babies does not make up for not knowing how to boil and fry. Really?

"Most of the ladies from 1950's mostly had their perfect lives as perfect housewives. Chores were not dull yet the real challenge to show what they were capable of. Glasses polishing might be considered even more difficult than typewriting. On the other way round, if they went to higher education, they were eventually trained to be the best secretaries. Yes, just to assist their men."

Now we're in 2010 and this may surprise you but we can vote, and be mechanics.

Here's my take and I am going to make this short and simple. If I work the same hours as you, you and I will find a way to divide the cooking responsibilities equally. If this doesn't sit well with you, then we will hire a cook if we can afford it. If somehow my children think that my inability to cook or my desire not to, makes me a bad mother then I and my partner have not raised them right. If for some reason my partner decides I am not woman enough for him (assuming I end up with a man here) because I decide not to know how to master the delicate balance between Maggi and salt then I deserve way better.

If I am a housewife, then yes it is only fair that I cook and clean. After all I am doing basically nothing else. If you are unemployed dear husband you would be required to cook and clean. If we're both working, we will both share the cooking and cleaning responsibilities. If this somehow demeans you as a man then I am insulted that you think I am beneath you because if you say this is demeaning to you then I darling husband am above cooking and cleaning too. If you haven't realized that by now we would be equal partners in our marriage.

The possibility that I will bend under pressure and treasure my "womanly roles" someday in the future is possible. I would be lying if I said I would never change into that woman because I don't know. If I do become that woman who works two jobs, does most of the cleaning and cooking because it is too demeaning for my husband to do then please someone please I beg you to kill me.

This is not a power struggle. Notice how I said working hours not earning more. Even if I am earning more but working less then it is only fair I take more household responsibilities and vice versa. Now honey you want to come home to a hot meal already made no? And somehow you expect that if I get home on some days maybe an hour before you I will pull some kind of miracle and whip up dinner for a king? You somehow do not imagine that I must be tired from work and want to collapse in front of the t.v.?

Obviously if we have kids, the working schedule will have to change but it will change believe it or not 50/50 so please hubby if you're are going to be a simple-minded jackass, I require that you do not come close to me. I would rather stay single forever than force myself to be something I'm not because you have some ancient rule book

Now if you as a woman love to cook and think the smile on your kids face from making a perfect pot of soup is somehow just enough for you, then honey go for it. Just remember that you are not somehow superwoman because you managed to add one more unnecessary duty to your board. Do not look down on those that either don't know how or don't want to. They are not less of a woman than you.

Someone is definitely going to say this either as a comment or in their mind "You're only saying this because you can't cook" Well stupid bastard I do know how to cook and well, but do I enjoy it? 80% of the time hell fucking no. First chance we get we're hiring a cook.

"the truth remains .. as a mother its not a good thing you cant cook.. I wish u well." That was said. I want to reply with logic but at the same time all I can think of are curse words that will make most people blush.

"Sex they say begins in d kitchen! D kitchen is as important as d bedroom! A woman must cook!"  This was said by someone I respected. You want to know where that respect is right now? At the bottom of an ocean somewhere. What the fuck kinda quote is that? Sex begins in the kitchen? What logical sense does that make?

If you are going to argue with me please argue with sense and logic. Do not use outdated stances that your mother drilled into you because her mother drilled it into her. Women have been so badgered into what their roles are in life that now they don't need any outside badgering they'll badger their own damn self. You want to know what started this argument? "Ladies, if u don't know how to cook, its not cute. Seek help today!" a girl said this. If she thinks it is her divine honor to cook, cleaan, iron.. hell good for you come and do my laundry for me but when you belittle other women for not knowing or wanting to then we have a problem.

Another woman said this "All he wants is for you to be submissive. Be thankful he’s not assaulting, raping or murdering you, be thankful he’s not leering at you while yelling something distasteful about your assets"

Are you kidding me?! NO, No I will not be "thankful" that a guy is treating me with as much respect as I treat him. I will not be grateful that he chooses not to rape me, I will not look at him and think myself lucky that he has decided not to assault me today. Those things are a GIVEN, they are not things to be thankful for. Just as you wouldn't look at a female friend and feel grateful to her for not scratching your eyes out with her long red fingernails or stamping on your foot with her stiletto heel... I'm sorry, but to suggest we should be thankful for not being raped implies an expectation that it will happen, that the man in question is doing us a favor by not carrying out his rights as a Y-chromosome bearer. I should feel grateful for not being assaulted by someone just because he happens to be a Mike not Michelle.

I cant. I just can't.

I am to say the least mad.

Anyone who has never watched Mona lisa's smile, should. Apart from the star studded cast: Julia Roberts, Kirsten Dunst, Julia Stiles and Maggie Gyllenhal, the film gives a new perspective towards femininity and society.

The movie is about a girls' school in late 50's. Depicting how great the education for these young ladies, traditions, and the profound achievement of becoming great housewives when they graduate. When the new art teacher started her first class with her 50's-women-oriented students, the battle of ideas seemed to begin.

I really enjoyed the story line. Being slightly feminist made Katherine, the new teacher, the odd ball. Freedom of sex was even unacceptable, what could be worse than being dubbed as 'a whore' for being independent in sex? When Joan (played by Julia Stiles) refused to apply for Yale Law School against Katherine, her art history tutor (Julia Roberts) suggestion because she didn't want it. She even asserted that being a wife is what she always wanted. It was the most heartbreaking scene to me. I questioned why would women just want to be at home, tidy up, do laundry, and cook at the end of the day? Then I realized my hypocrisy. How could I be a feminist and not allow women make choices? This was my turning point. I realized that being feminist is all about having choices and being able to choose. Either becoming successful professionally or playing a Stepford wife, it is ok as long as your life is filled with happiness.

Feminism is about choice. Make your choice and I'll make mine.

Read this post: support her view almost 90% even though her goal is to be a housewife. She is making her choice. "I personally would not choose to become a housewife as i don’t think it would fulfill me, in the same you work would probably not fulfill you. As long as a person is not hurting anyone then how they live their life is their choice. I think if u wish to be a 50s housewife good for you, go for it and fuck what others think."

How to Be a Good Housewife

Taken from a 1950's American High School Home Economics textbook, the essay is entitled "How to be a Good Wife." It reads in part:
Have dinner ready. Prepare yourself. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. Clear away the clutter -- run a dust cloth over the tables.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces, comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are God's creatures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise…eliminate the noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Some Don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice.
Listen to him: You may have dozens of things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other pleasant entertainments.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


Ok I am here to vent a little, ok a lot, ok more than a lot I want to vent my frustrations for the past 4 months. 

Recently and by recent I mean for the last 6 months or so, I have started to enter this 'promoting' business. Promoters as you all know make social networks very irritating by their constant harassing of people by their messages, or tags or events. Well I got into that business and well I to have turned to doing the very same thing which I used to detest back in 07 or 08.

Ok here lies my problem, for my last event I really went all out, brought in most of my friends to help me push this event and as the event went on, and everybody was noticing how huge it was going to be, some of my close friends started telling me that I had 'changed'. At that time, I was laughing it off, that they couldn't be serious. Why would an event change me? Nothing is that serious. But some of them kept reiterating the same thing, and I swear I still do not believe that I've changed one bit. The scale of the event demanded that it be promoted intensely, most people did not understand the full details behind the planning of the event hence like with everything else in life, people started making assumptions with no facts to back it up. 

Well the event is over now, it was done back in October and 3 of our contributors on this very blog were in attendance. What especially grinds my gears is the fact that I have not spoken to some of my close friends since my event ended, and they have not spoken to me either. I feel like there is this whole 'PERCEPTION PROBLEM' between I and them. They perceive that I have changed, all about money and events/parties and I on my part have let their perception of me affect my own perception of them and the reality of the whole situation has been lost in the whole damn mix. Normally, I would reach out to see what the problem was, but in this instance I just know deep down that the perception they've developed of me is one of those perceptions which can not be easily shaken. If I try to prove to them that their perception is not true, all it would serve to do is make me look like am living a lie in order to prove to them that their perception is not real. Personally, I am not one to maintain an illusion just to please a mere human being, nobody is worth living a lie for.

And lowkey, there is this thing when it comes to Nigerians and yes I do intend to generalise with this comment. Most Nigerians have this innate thing in them that make them instantly 'envy or hate' on a person's success. And I won't lie, I am not different, I have found myself on several occasions hating on a person's success and I usually always have to chide myself for not being more positive. But I just don't get why Nigerians are like though, every single one of them wants to be fettered to. Wants to be made to feel important lol and when you don't do it, they'll hold it against you. 

I came across this quote that said 'Nothing in the affairs of men is worthy of great anxiety'.
And it spoke to me greatly, because until some people learn to stop taking life and the things in it that seriously, they will never fully appreciate it. 

I think I digress sha, I just hate the fact that this 'Perception Problem' is affecting my close friendships. 

Before I leave, can somebody explain to me what it means to live and die with honor? That  question has been plaguing me for awhile now.