The bible sucks!

Warning! This post will offend many and I am not apologizing for it!

I am currently speaking from a place with a lot of hate. I always try to be tolerant to Christianity and the Bible. I never bash. However, since Christians have decided that they shall not respect what I believe because it isn't 'the truth' I've decided that I'm done being polite. Like my friend says "Fuck civility. Let's all be bitches"

My question is;
What is with the old and new testaments? In fact what is with the bible in general? I think the bible was written by a bunch of fucking idiotic liars who didn’t even think to cross check each others' work. It has so many fucking contradictions, it amazes me that people can even sit there and defend it. So I am starting a new bi-monthly segment, titled “Contradictions in the bible” There are so many that it might take me months and then I’ll let you sit there and lie to yourself and tell yourself that “The word of God shouldn’t be questioned because I am a mere mortal”

Are we saying "God" couldn't make up his mind? Or are we saying that by creating the New Testament, "God” was once wrong with some of his old rules? Which brings about the question, can "God" be wrong? So in that case should we be expecting a new millennium testament because some of that shit is out dated? Also maybe “God” went through therapy and stuff because we have to admit that “God” was a sinister, evil bastard in the Old Testament. He commanded stoning, killing of babies and destruction of people's property. In the New Testament he supposedly comes down as an alter ego and preaches love, joy and happiness.

For the record, I'm sick and tired of people choosing to follow some parts of the Old Testament when it pleases them. No! You either think the Old Testament is outdated or you don't. Do not come at me with some scripture from the Old Testament and when I come back at you, you tell me my scripture is all no longer valid. How about you fuck yourself with your ignorance

Also, don't tell me "Oh Jesus spoke most of the new Testament not God" Negro please. Aren't you the same person that said God and Jesus are one? If Jesus and God are the same, then shouldn’t they like share a mind? Why are they contradicting each other?

Mark 15:34-37, Matthew 27:46-50 - Jesus says: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” If he’s the same as God, please I’d like you to explain why he thinks he has forsaken himself?

John 10:30 I and my Father are one.
John 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

This is looking more and more like Multiple personality disorder.

MPD describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.

I believe in God, and I’d like to think that my God is sane and shit.

Yours blasphemingly,

Vanity xx

P.S. I’d appreciate if the people who wrote the bible could agree on one creation story because, well, the humans are monkeys theory is making more sense at the moment. Did humans come first or did the animals?

Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:26 And God said; Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
(Notice how in genesis 1, he says 'let us'. So is there more than one God? Or was Jesus there with him? Or did the angels help him? In that case why does he take the glory for all their work? Isn't that like plagiarism? Also in this chapter, it seems that Eve was planned because he says them while in Chapter 2, Eve is more of an after thought! )

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.(How sexist! Notice how it says Help and not companion And how Eve wasn't even planned!)
Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

(If you read my own blog, you'll know I have issues with the family and they are making me read the bible and well, this is what happens when I read the bible. I have to read the whole bible so um yeah. Just about done with genesis!)

Be more like Jesus

I know I look hot. It's a pale pink, flowered, boobed tubed, A line dress that hits just above my knees. My shoes are new dollhouses. Studded and zippered to contrast the ultra girly dress. My hair is a curly bun, and my makeup is as always on point, my signature smoky cat eyes and pale pink lips.

I give myself a once over and walk into the church, it's my friend sister's wedding and I'm like 20 mins late. So as I hurry to my assigned seat, my heels pitter patter on the floor (as heels are known to do) and this causes the whole church's attention to shift to me. Well, being no stranger to attention, I shift my hurried walk into a catwalk. Feeling very cool with myself.

Next thing I know an usher walks up to me. She's 24ish, wearing a pale grey suit two sizes too big and shoes that look like clogs. Brown powder 5 shades too light and ugly plastic ear rings. I beam my best smile at her and whisper "I know where my seat is." Imagine my surprise as she grabs my arm and says rather harshly "Abeg let's go outside, I want to talk to you about something"

I stare in amazement at the crusty nails grabbing my arm. My friend gives me a look like "What is going?" I reply with what is now known as the 'Kanye shrug'. I walk outside with this girl and say "What's up?" Silently hoping she wants me to give her a makeover. As I silently decide what eye shadow would look good on her, out of her too-bright-for-her-complexion-red-lipsticked mouth comes this "We can see your bobbie (breasts), your dress is too short, your shoe too high, you cannot enter this church. You want to come and distract our pastor and brothers?"

I stare in surprise, mouth slightly ajar as she walks away and shuts the door behind her.
As a true naija girl, I walk away head held high and drive to the nearest beer and peppersoup joint awaiting the close of the ceremony and to contemplate the stupidity of this scenario.
As a church, isn't your place to show us the error of our ways as "sinners"? Isn't it your place to take us in and try to make us sin no more? Do you know how empty the bible would be if Jesus had only saved seemingly decent people?

“On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. ¹³But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mathew 9: 12-13
"I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I’" Isaiah 65:1

Wouldn't it have been better if after church she walked up to me and tried to preach to me and then explain that if I wanted to come next time, I had to maintain a certain decorum? People like her and whoever invented that rule fail as Christians.

Imagine if I went and bad mouthed the church to all my friends, facebook, twitter, blogsville e.t.c Not just the church, but Christ would lose a lot of potential followers. She would have single handedly gone to hell for the loss of my soul and the thousands of people I would have told who would have decided that Christianity was too much of a hassle.

Now some of you are going to say "Did you not know you were going to church, why did you dress like that?" Imagine if I was a hooker and all my clothes were mini skirts and striper boots. Somehow suddenly I decide to give my life to Christ and your church is the closest to me. I wear my usual clothes that I feel good in after all, the bible or so says “It's what's in my heart that matters” and then I receive treatment like that. Raise your hand if you think I will try another church for a long ass time, if at all.


Anyhow who are you to turn “sinners” away? It’s like a hospitals turning people away for being too sick. If your Jesus, your Messiah, the one who you are supposed to be so much like didn’t turn “sinners” away but went and sought them, Who the Fuck are you?

Ok Also this is unrelated but since am talking about church. It can be argued that God hated sinners. And if God hates sinners and Jesus wants them, doesn’t that kinda trump your God & Jesus the same argument? Or did God have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) and that’s why he created Jesus to be his alter ego? (waits for thunder to strike…. Ok we’re good)

Here are some examples:
Psalm 5:5 says “The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers.”
 Psalm 11:5 says “The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
 Jeremiah 12:8 says “My heritage has become to me like a lion in the forest; she has lifted up her voice against me; therefore I hate her.”
Hosea 9:15 he says, “Every evil of theirs is in Gilgal; there I began to hate them.”
Psalm 119:119 All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross; therefore I love your statutes.

And of course there is the simple but powerful:
Romans 9:13  “As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”"

Yet we flinch from ascribing such an emotion to God? Why is this? Is it not enough to see the Scriptures clearly showing God hating sin and sinners to accept that this is true?

Ok, Am done.
Vanity XX

MY DATE WITH JESUS-BOY

Firstly, I want to say a big congrats to Azazel for all the nonsense drama he has been causing on blogsville…I taught you well lil hommie. Lol.

Ok, so yall know that I have been the least controversial on this blog thus far. This isn’t because I’ve had nothing to say about my religious beliefs or lack thereof, but because I have never perceived it to be that important a topic to blog about….until now.

Shortly after graduation, I decided to go “thank God” for his mercies and all that good stuff. This was the first time I set foot in church in about a year and I must admit, besides the unnecessary ranting from a guest pastor, it was refreshing. Throughout the church service, I had weird ass thoughts…literally. I either caught myself staring at people’s asses or fantasizing about the “drummer boy.” Something about him was so sexy…yes, I’m not a big fan of the dick, but I really wanted to sexually harass this one. Church service ended and I was more than happy to hop in my car and spark my last cigarette.

A week later, one of the “aunties” from church called me and our conversation went a lil something like this:

Aunty: Hello Afrikim

Me: Good afternoon ma, sorry I didn’t come to church (I saved both of us the bullshit), I’m in San Diego

Aunty: Oh it’s ok darling, God is good…anyways, one of the guys here was asking about you, so I told him I’d tell you first. Is it ok to give him your number?

Me: (with the widest fucking grin on my face) Yes ma…is it the drummer boy?

Aunty: haha…yes, his name is Uzo

Me: ok ma

I was so excited I started to paint pictures in my sinful head. Three hours later, he called and we had a lil chat. He asked if we could meet somewhere and we fixed a date for the following Thursday. I woke up super early on Thursday and picked out something that wasn’t too “desperate” looking because I knew how these church people could get sometimes. I wore my “light up Nigeria” t-shirt, a pair of jeans and flip flops. Uzo (the drummer boy) called a few hours before our date and asked if we could meet at starbucks instead, so I agreed. 5pm...and I was there, I sprayed half a bottle of perfume on my shirt trying to mask the smell of the blunt I had just hit on my way there, cos afterall, na high pessin go high to converse with Jesus boy….I didn’t know what the fuck to expect.

As he got out of his car, I smiled cos the guy was highly delicious looking…I mean, God must have really rewarded him for playing those drums, cos dayyuuummm! Anyway, we gave each other the “Christian hug” and walked in starbucks. For some strange reason, we both had matching outfits on and I was soo ready for a second date, u know…the one where we possibly would get to  rip those outfits off..lol.

Thirty minutes into the conversation and we had exchanged extensive information and shared some really good laughs. I then was certain he had the biggest crush on me. Everything was going well, until somehow, I managed to slide the topic of sex into our conversation and drummer boy looked me in my contact lens beautified eyes and said “I am celibate…” EJO! ABEG! BIKO! Ex-fucking-cuse me! You said who? Celi?....hmmnn…this boy did not just make me waste 20bucks on gas, half my perfume bottle and heavy ass make up to tell me he was not fucking till he got married! WUSA! Na to rape am be dat. “So, what did you want to see me about?” I had to ask, cos I was lost o.

He adjusted his seat and moved closer to me, my heart was racing and I could feel some kind of horniness coming on…I mean, I knew I would have to fight this celibacy off, but I didn’t know it would be this easy…I was pleased. He held my hands and stared into my eyes, then he said “I wanted to talk to you because I think you are a really attractive, intelligent and strong woman”…I thought to myself “duh! But go on”…he then continued “well, I am currently in covenant, and I am training to be a pastor.” At this point, my sexy thoughts started to morph into something you would otherwise see on Americas most wanted…but hey, let’s see where this leads. “I want you to come back to church, where you belong”…….

I’d love to tell yall about the rest of my date, but I think I blacked out, I must have recited 10 cuss words in 500 languages in my head and at this point all I could think of was “did this Jesus boy just make me drive 30miles in traffic to preach to me?”…after this whole yadiyadiya, I started to hear him comment about my shirt being tight and how people would attribute my dressing to irresponsibility and how I deserve more than I get right now, and the only solution would be to get closer to God…

I took the rambling for another 5minutes, didn’t even thank him for the coffee and told him I had to leave. When he asked why I was in such a hurry, all I could say was “I just remembered that I have half a blunt sitting in the car, and right now, that shit will come in handy…God bless.”

I AM NOT A CYNICAL PERSON..

I did my bloggers I hate with a passion blogpost the other day, and I forgot to mention VERA EZIMORA.. Let's just say that that was a major ehn fuckup lol, and there are a whole other bloggers I admire that I have not mentioned. When I do I shall remind you of them.

Lol I am pissed no be small. So two of my female friends told me that I am a very 'CYNICAL HUMAN BEING', that me Azazel do not believe in happy endings and that I always see stuff in it's negative light. So I've been thinking about what they said and well I came to the conclusion that I am honestly the sort of person that cannot stand delusions of any kind. And lets be honest and I mean completely honest, a lot of these things we humans do if we dig through each layer and go to it's core we will discover it's really ehm not as great as we make it out to seem. For example take 'Love' it is an awesome feeling and we get happy thinking about the other person and what they represent to us. We appreciate the beauty of our partner, and we love the sex, we love the conversation, we love all those things and they make us happy. But if we were honestly to analyse it, our partner is no different than any man/woman out there. It's just that we just like the qualities that person has more than the other people Idk if am making sense, all am saying is that we human beings really live a cold and painful existence and we need these 'delusions' in other to be happy. Am the kind of person who would rather be mad with 'truth' than sane with 'lies' and somepeople do not get that. It's a shame I guess, and that's the thing about philosophy lol. It teaches one to be unhappy more intelligently. And well back to my problem lol.  I am going to steal with Saucekid said about himself because it represents me also. A lot of people seem to think/assume that I am a 'free bird' or that I am somebody who gives my opinion about a lot of things but the problem about that is that, there are honestly certaain things I can never give my opinion about and I cannot mention them. (Ok this was going to be a blogpost, but I think I just entered into rant mode lol, so bear with me). 'I make friends with people who think that they like me. Then they find out that they can't change me. Then they change and this happens to many many times. And you honestly do not know how weary this makes me of people, because somepeople hear me talk and they love the way my brain works and out of curiosity they choose to 'pick' my brain right. Now some of these people probably agree with me on a certain issue, and they'll say things like 'I love how your able to question people's beliefs and you do not care if you differ with others'. Now everytime people say that to me, I always want to ask them, do you love me as long as I question the beliefs of other people? Or would you still love me if I questioned your own beliefs? See personally I will be honest with yall, there is no belief which I hold close to my heart that I am willing to die for. if you prove to me with logic/reason that my belief is stupid, I will swallow it hook, line and sinker. There is a quote that says ' If you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything'. Now that quote is very stupid, the white slave owners who stood for their right to have slaves were wrong, the Hitlers of the world who stood for their right to have a master 'Aryan' race were wrong, so it is sometimes good to stand for somethings and it is also good sometimes to fall for other things.

Every great dictator/tyrant in the world has always had something that have kept people in line. They have always been able to dangle a threat/fear over their subjects that made their subjects obey them out of fear. Machiavelli asked 'Is it better to be feared or loved'? And the answer is, it is better to be feared and Machiavelli was one smart dude. Hitler had his concentration camps, Stalin had his 'gulags' and God has hell. Lets be honest, if there was no hell a lot of us lmao would not give a crap about the almighty. The only reason most of us go to church and do all this stupid religious stuff is because we no wan go hell. Remove hell from the equation and a lot of us have lost the incentive/motivation to be religious. Abi I dey lie?

When some of this yeye preachers go on and on about Jesus died for sins, and sacrificed for us and brought salvation to us so we should worship him and be grateful. Well I am here to say that Jesus hardly made the greatest sacrifice. He knew he would be resurrected anyway'.Anybody would die for the sins of the world if they knew they were goin 2 be resurrected three days later. I mean lets think about it, people like Ghandi/MLK made greater sacrifices than Jesus. They knew that there was a possibility that they could be killed and maimed with no oppurtunity of being resurrected yet they went ahead with it. Jesus knew he would be resurrected yet he cried like a baby to his daddy(GOD) in the garden of Gethsamane praying for God to take away the burden of dying for our sins from him. Honestly I don't get it, what was he crying for? He was going to be resurrected three days later, he was well aware of that. In another day, in another place, with more 'vulgar' people someone could accuse Jesus of being a 'p*ssy*. Just saying. 

WAS JESUS GAY?

Got a call from a friend in Manchester. Couldn't stop talking about some youtube clip. Said he had found a Caucasian version of me. So he sent me the link and that's how I got acquainted with Pat Condell. I don't think we think alike at all. Na just normal cognitive bias most religious folks have. They think all Atheists sound alike. Anyways, Pat has some amusing ideas. Judge for yourself.








PS: Life just got complicated. I'm taking a hiatus from blogging. I hope it'll be finite. If it turns out not to be so, I want everyone to know that it was the most fun I've had in a while. To all the Christians, Agnostics, Muslims, Deists, Non-Theists and so on, I hope you find peace and happiness regardless of your belief. And to anyone I upset intentionally or unintentionally, I promise I'll apologize.

DEAR JESUS

Having one of those days so I decided to write a long winded letter.



Dear Jesus,

How are you doing? I guess that's a ridiculous question because you are the embodiment of all that is good. Scratch that, make it a third of all that is good. Its a third if you consider your father and that ghost dude. They both participate equally in the trinity. Wonder what it feels like to always share.

I was going to say hope you are having a nice day but you exist out of time. How can anybody compliment you sef? How can an imperfect mind compliment the perfect? Besides, as omniscient master of the universe you can have anything you want and you know my thoughts before they manifest. I have an idea though [Jesus, insert favorite self-compliment here].

Speaking of knowing thoughts, I've always wondered, how do you handle prayers? Do you intercept it in the prefrontal cortex or do you wait for the person to actually say the words? Well, I know in the case of the dumb, you'll work with their thoughts. If you don't, "nothing for dem". Is that a privilege you afford them like handicap parking or do you treat all of us the same? If yes, what about the retarded?

Speaking of prayers, do you handle all earthly prayers in realtime? In parallel as they come? What about other sentient intelligent lifeforms in distant galaxies did you die for them? Do you handle their prayers too? I would imagine that since you know all prayers before they are prayed, you can just schedule your response to all prayers for every soul that would ever exist. You could do that way ahead of time. Thinking of it, you could have done that just prior to making Adam. Just a thought.

Baba, I was wondering. That time you came back around after those Roman soldiers had fucked you up with the cross and all. How did you do the ascension moves? Because you came in human form yet you "ascended into heaven". I was going to ask how you handled breathing when you got into space but then you probably weren't even breathing at all if you made it to the higher atmosphere with the low air pressure and stuff. Why did you even need to ascend? Why didn't you just slide into the spiritual dimension? Like Justin Timberlake usually does in his videos but this time from one dimension to another. What were all them space moves about? You of all people know that space does not lead to heaven. Na you make am. Abi it was just for our ignorant benefit? Since that's what we thought then? Nawao.

Well, I just have only one prayer. Abeg, can you sign off on your earthly moves? I'm having trouble differentiating your deeds from random fortunate events. That would really help. I know you know all, but let me suggest that You can use some equivalent of that "fresh" sticker we find on fruits or sometimes some girls put on their cleavage/boobs in the club. Let us know when to say "Thank God" and when to say "Lucky Me".

I have this very offensive thing I want to say to you but I don't want to give the blog readers cerebral atrophy so since you know the thought [insert it here]

You know I have too much to ask but I just joined L.A. (Lengthy Anonymous). I'm trying to cut down on the lengthy posts.

Anyways, Na me dey hail Oh. Your Atheist creature that believes you are nothing more than an idea. You know, the guy addressing this to you just to reach those that think you dey chill for some third heaven abi fourth heaven abi space, while in reality you just dey chill for their heads as nothing more than an idea. This is where my letter ends. Not like you read it. After all, before molding Eve you already knew the contents of this letter.

If we ever meet(yeah right) I'll teach you some sort of a gangster handshake that only few can do using those nail holes in your palm. Your dad would probably approve. I've always suspected he makes fun of them. Does he tease you by trying to hang paintings/pictures from those holes?

Yours sincerely,
Enoch. (not the other one oh!. But you know who already. silly me)



PS: Speaking of molding EVE, were you attracted to her? I can imagine Adam waiting forever while you were caressing in the name of molding. Don't take that the wrong way, I'm just curious. I'm asking because you threw a fit when she put on her clothes in the garden. Kinda like a peeping tom would.

GOD DOES NOT LOVE THE WORLD AND HE DOES NOT HAVE ONLY ONE BEGOTTEN SON!!! PART 1.

(First of all, Happy Naija Independence day to everyone. Now back to the topic at hand).
John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Every Christian that is serious with their religion will know this passage of the bible very well and will not waste any time to quote it as the proof of God's love for humanity and as the blue print for eternal salvation . Most of my points will be from the bible since most of our blog followers are christians who would not believe anything outside the bible.
There are three points raised in this very popular verse of the bible
1. That God loves the world or simply put he loves everyone
2. That the same God has ONLY one son
3. What you must do to be saved

Because of the long nature of this post, I will touch on points 1 and 2 today, and the last point 3 shall be saved for a later date.
1. THAT GOD LOVES THE WORLD OR SIMPLY PUT HE LOVES EVERYONE.
That God loves everyone is an illusion most christians would like to force down to people when its very clear in the bible that God sometimes choose those he like and those he don't . Infact God so much hate the world that when he is in his moods he can pick up the phone and call the devil and they play gamble with people's lives. In
Leviticus 20:23 God said
"And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them." in
Malachi 1:3 God said
"And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness. "
In Romans 9:13 God said
" Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated."
These are just but a few verse in the bible that shows that the  God of the bible is not very loving like he is claimed to be

2. THAT THE SAME GOD HAS ONLY ONE SON
so many bible believing christians believe that God has only son when their bible that they believe and quote from everyday states otherwise,
Adam was also God's son.
Adam, which was the son of God. Luke 3:38
Some of God's sons had sex with women producing a race of giants.
That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all
which they chose. ... There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of
God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them. -- Genesis 6:2-4

Satan and his companions were sons of God.
The sons of God came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan came also among them. Job 1:6
Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD,
and Satan came also among them to present himself before the LORD. -- Job 2:1
God's sons were present when the universe was created.

Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof; When the
morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy? -- Job 38:6-7
Christians are God's sons.

But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God. -- John 1:12

These above examples, have shown that Jesus was not the only son of God and that there were "Sons of God" who came before him. The question is: Has the Interpretation of the "Son of God been taken out of context"?  I shall touch on my third point later on.
TO BE CONTINUED!!

BY BLASPHEMY!!

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The Conception of Jesus

The alleged conception of Jesus in his mother's womb occurred in circumstances, which lay outside the laws of nature common to all human beings. The egg produced by the mother's ovary did not need to join with a part which should have come from his father, to form the embryo and hence a foetus. The phenomena of the birth of a normal person without the fertilizing action of the male's part is called 'parthenogenesis'. This form of reproduction occurs in some insects and flowers, in which the unfertilized ovum develops directly into a new life. In trying to present Jesus as a biological exception, Biblical writers and composers defied logic and science. It is shameful and repugnant that the alleged embodiment of God would be conceived like an insect or flower. Jesus did not need to a biological exception only in the way he was conceived in his mother's womb, but then presented as have grown in the same womb, was born and had a childhood that was biological or natural.


If Christ had to come into the world avoiding the impurity of human conception and birth, why did he not descend directly from heaven in person? If he can descend on the clouds at his still awaited alleged second coming, why could he not do the same at his first coming, thereby pre-empting reasons for doubt and saving far more of fallen humanity?



The Babylonian Talmud says that Jesus was a mamzer (literally a bastard or an illegitimate child). It says he was born out of an illegitimate union between his mother and a drunken Roman soldier. Only the offspring of incestuous or forbidden marriages are mamzerim. Children born out of wedlock are not mamzerim in Jewish law and bear no stigma, unless the marriage would have been prohibited. Children of a married man and a woman who is not his wife are not mamzerim (because the marriage between the parents would not have been prohibited), although children of a married woman and a man who is not her husband are mamzerim (because she could not have married him).



There are scattered first century Christian and Talmudic references to a miracle worker named Jesus ben Pantera. Among them is a quote from Origen, saying that his arch-rival Celsus had heard from a Jew in Jerusalem that Jesus Ben Pantera was born of Mary as the result of a rape by a Roman soldier named Pantera, and had borne the baby in secret. There may be something to this assertion, which would account for Mark's obvious embarrassment regarding the origins of Jesus since Gospel of Mark never mentions Joseph as the husband of Mary.



Note also that it was both the Roman custom and the custom of the Jews to include a patrilineal surname as part of a person's full name; yet nowhere in the New Testament does the surname of Jesus, (or Joseph, for that matter) appear. Jesus is often referred to as Jesus of Nazareth, a geographical surname that was usually reserved by Jews for illegitimate children of unknown patrilineage (Romans used the surname of the father, regardless of the legitimacy of the birth). The Talmud refers to Jeshu as being the illegitimate son of an adulteress named Mary Magdala.



The Talmud mentions Jesus' name 20 times and documents that he was born an illegitimate son of a Roman soldier called Panthera, nicknamed "the Panther". In many Jewish references, Jesus is often referred to as "ben Panthera". ‘ben’ means ‘son of".



Religious scholars over the centuries have discussed at length why Jesus was so regularly called ben Panthera. Origen of Alexandria (184-254 CE) is one of the greatest of all early Christian theologians, a historian and clergyman. He was appointed to succeed Clement of Alexandria as head of the catechetical school of Alexandria, where he had been a student. Prior to St. Augustine, he was the most influential theologian of the church.



He recorded the following verses about Mary from the research records of a highly regarded second-century historian and author named Celsus (c. 178): Mary was turned out by her husband, a carpenter by profession, after she had been convicted of unfaithfulness. Cut off by her spouse, she gave birth to Jesus, a bastard; that Jesus, on account of his poverty, was hired out to go to Egypt; that while there he acquired certain (magical) powers which Egyptians pride themselves on possessing - ‘Contra Celsum’ (Against Celsus), 1:28.



Later, in passage 1:32, Origen supports the Jewish records and confirms that the paramour of the mother of Jesus was a Roman soldier called Panthera, a name he repeats in verse 1:69. Some time during the 17th century, those sentences were erased from the oldest Vatican manuscripts and other codices under Church control (Origen 1:28 and 1:32) by Lommatzech in his Origen Contra Celsum, Berlin, 1845.



Contra Celsum (Against Celsus) is a closely reasoned long apologetic work refuting arguments advanced by the philosopher Celsus, an influential 2nd-century Platonist of Alexandria and perhaps the first serious critic of Christianity.



The early Christian church writings of St Epiphanius (315-403 CE), the Bishop of Constantia/Salamis, the metropolis of the Island of Cyprus, again confirm the ben Panthera story, and his information is of a startling nature. This champion of Christian orthodoxy and saint of Catholicism states: Jesus was the son of a certain Julius whose surname was Panthera – ‘Haer’ (Heresies), lxxvii, 7.



While very young, St Epiphanius followed the monastic life in Egypt. On his return to Judea he founded a monastery at Besanduk and was ordained to the priesthood. In 367 his reputation for asceticism and learning brought about his nomination as a bishop.



According to Jonathon D. Michaelis, Commentaries on the Law of Moses, vols. I-IV (1814), the story of Mary's pregnancy by a Roman soldier also appears in the sacred book of the Moslems, the Koran. It states that "a full-grown man" forced his attentions on Mary, and in her fear of the disgrace that would follow she left the area and bore Jesus in secret. This story was supported in the Gospel of Luke, with the description of the departure of Joseph and Mary from their home prior to the birth. Rape was a common event in Palestine during the Roman occupation, and soldiers were notorious for their treatment of young women.



It would be unthinkable for Mary to admit such an event had occurred, for under the Law of Moses a betrothed virgin who had sex with any man during the period of her betrothal was to be stoned to death by the men of the city (Deut. 22:21). Simply put, Mary faced the death penalty unless she could prove her innocence.



There are numerous rabbinical sources from the early Christian period, which refer to the Jesus of Christian fame as Jesus ben Pantera from Nazareth. There are several interesting references to a Jeshu ben Pandera from Nazareth who travelled around and practised as a member of the Essene Movement during the reign of Alexander Janneus, who ruled Palestine from 104 to 78 BCE. He was declared a heretic by a temple court, was stoned to death and hanged on a tree on the eve of Passover in 88 BCE.


BY BLASPHEMY