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Thursday, December 23, 2010


So, finals are over and I am on break. So this means that I have time to blog and do things of that nature LOL.
On this fine fine night I find myself waxing in the glory of my thoughts. I just realised that I Azazel have never truly opened up to anybody. Not my parents, not my friends, cousins, priest etc. And most of my friends and I will admit, 80% of my friends are female in nature. And hence my closest confidante's are female.
A confidante by the way is a woman to whom secrets or private matters are disclosed.

Now it got me wondering, whether there are others like me out there who feel the same. Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that I have never shared a secret or two with a friend. Everyone of us I assume has that one person in their life that they feel they can be open with 100% (I assume??) And if that is the case, is it not natural to sometimes share some of your deepest secrets with 'said friend/confidante'?

It struck me that I honestly do not have a confidante or friend who I feel comfortable enough sharing all my thoughts with. And I won't use that cliche of 'oh it's because I don't trust anybody' because even though that may be true. It bothers me that for every one time I tell somebody a semi-secret I tell it to them knowing fully well that I can weather the storm if they decide to betray me and tell others what I told them in secret.

I don't know if yall get what I am saying. Basically, anytime I confide in somebody, I do not confide in them fully, even when it seems like I am being forthright or being frank, I am never truly frank or forthright I just let the person/people involved think I am being forthright.

Seeing as the name of this blog is 'Truth Don Die', it is safe to say that a lot of 'truths' have died in me LOL.
I have this one quote I say to myself everytime I find myself not fully confiding in somebody.
It goes like this:

"The man who cannot endure to have his errors and shortcomings brought to the surface and made known, but tries to hide it, is unfit to walk the highway of truth".

Yes I tell people that I seek truth, yet I know deep down within me that I am unfit to walk the highway of truth.
Hence why every 'bio' I have in all my social networks state "Azazel is a liar who always tells the truth".
At least people won't say they were not warned.


ShadeNonconformist said...

I totally feel you on this. I used to be that way. Now i have confidantes and it's a beautiful thing.

But i so co-sign the "warning label" so that people will not say i never warned them...

Congrats on finals being over..

Anonymous said...

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BSNC said...

hahah a liar who says the truth. you are really a hyena lol.

I feel you though on the confidant thing. My sister is like that, but is not a liar that says the truth lol. Continue contradicting yourself there.

anyways compliments of the season azazel.

El Divine said...

lol its a contradiction in human nature dat all of us want truth but few can actually walk dat high way.
as 4 confidant, i firmly bliv NO ONE in d world is worth ur 100percent trust or confidence.

Realist said...

lol... i am like that and my own is worst because i am an "open" person by nature. I seem to have no secrets, i seem to tell everyone everything. I do not have secrets anymore mainly because i know they have a way of coming to haunt you. But what people do not know is what/how i think. I have a friend that is pretty close to a confidant but i just for some strange reason cant stand one person knowing everything about me so i just keep stupid stuff that dont even matter to

Azazel said...

A lie that tells the truth hun not a liar who tells the truth.
A lie

Tisha said...

The truth is God's word
Everything else is a lie...

Lies are common
But in the end always conform to the truth.

miss.fab said...

True talk (haha, couldn't resist the pun).

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