When I was younger, being a Christian was something that was a part of me mainly because of my mother, and the fact that it made me feel good. But when I went through my first year of college, I was on my own and little by little I began to compromise the standards that I'd always secretly wanted to break. I didn't drink, do drugs, or have sex (proud virgin talking), but I did end up in a relationship that I shouldn't have been in, and when I broke out of that relationship, I went through a very hard time. It wasn't exactly depression, but it was very close to it. I felt so lost and so bereft and so raw with pain... I had never felt that kind of loss before. Sure, I broke up with him at my mother's request because she saw the change in my character and she knew I needed to get back on track. But I really liked him and even though I knew he was bad for me, we had really good times together and the attraction between us was so strong...
It would take so much more than this blog post to describe how lost I felt. It was at this time that I rediscovered my connection with Jesus. Before you click away to another blog post, hear me out. I repented to God for turning away from Him and I began to pray and read my Bible again. I read the Psalms over and over, because my self-worth was so low and I needed to be reminded of how God loves me. It didn't happen overnight, nor in a week, nor a month (it took time for me to break myself down, it would take time for me to build myself up), but God gave me the strenght to go through the day-to-day and one day I woke up and I was over my ex. Basically, over weeks and weeks of prayer and dedication, I discovered the goodness of God for myself without my parents' help, and I realized that I truly couldn't live without Him. The peace and the joy that I feel daily is overwhelming, and I wasn't feeling like this when I was disconnected from my Maker.
I need to take a break here and stress to you people: if you are curious/doubtful about God, ASK HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU! Do NOT rely on what OTHER people think. I'm not bashing the other writers on this blog, but you should view this blog as what it is: a gathering of opinions. Why don't you try crying out to God and ask Him to show himself to you?
That would have been a perfect place to end, wouldn't it? But I'm not finished :) A very wonderful young man by the name of Controversy asked me a question about Christianity that I couldn't answer at the time, and I felt very bad, because it was a very smart and valid question. He asked me over Skype, "If God is so good, then why did He command the Israelites to destroy the inhabitants of many towns as they marched toward the Promised Land?" Well, I'm going to throw a lot of information at you all in a short time, so hold on to your office chairs.
Basically, the Bible says that "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever." This means that the same love that He has now is the same love He had back then in the New Testament. The problem with most people is that their view of God is warped. IF God is love, and if He is PERFECT as the Bible says, then He must equally hate. God does NOT hate his creations. He hates the things that destroy his people, like sin and wickedness---the people that God ordered the Israelites (who were his chosen people) to destroy, were people who were dedicated to sin, wickedness, and false gods; God did not want these people to lead the Israelites astray and lead them to destruction! On the flip side, you also read in the Bible what happened when Israel failed to carry out God's instructions. The tribes that worshiped false gods attacked Israel. NOT because God was punishing them, but because by sinning, the Israelites removed themselves from God's protection.
In conclusion, Controversy is right that God is love, but the thing is that God is also holy, so holy that He cannot be around sin. Just because a lot of people have venom towards the Most High God doesn't make Him any less of what the Bible tells us He is.
And that's all for now folks :) I'm gonna do a follow-up post on this later. Time for bed...
