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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

ROOM-MATE ISSUES


U guys talk say make i free Religion matter, so I come decide to delve into other matters that have been plaguing me recently.

Seriously I think it is my lot in life to have roommates who have one medical issue or the other. Not that I am complaining, but seriously why do I seem to always end up with the semi weird roommates. Let me begin by starting this story from the beginning.


Freshman Year - My roommate, God bless his heart was a cool dude or so I thought. I noticed that he took pills from time to time, when I asked him he told me that they were anti-depressant pills and sleeping pills. He was "oyinbo/white" so when he told me he took such pills I thought nothing of it. Afterall, everybody knows that oyinbo people will take any drug as long as it helps them alleviate that pain all of them seem unable to bear.
Anyhoo, all the roommates went out to Target (store in yankee) one day with the exception of moi, and during this outing my roomie told the other apartment mates that as a kid he had shot and killed his father. Meaning that when he was a lil one, somebody in the house left a gun lying around. My roommate who I shall refer to as Weirdo No 1. apparently  discharged the weapon which killed the dad when the dad came to get the gun out of his hands I assume. So when my roommates, came back from the outing some of them approached me and told me about what Weirdo No 1 had said, me being me I laughed my head off thinking that it was all a joke, I kept on laughing until Weirdo No 1 worked into the room at which point I asked him(while still laughing) if what these roommates had said was true. He totally told me it was true and at which point I still did not believe him and kept on laughing till I realised that none of my other roommates where laughing at me and something went off in my head telling me that *hmm maybe this people might be serious o, and my yansh dey here dey laugh at the guy*. So i ehn stopped laughing and apparently they were all serious, so i apologised to roomie and from that moment on I locked my door when I went to sleep every night. I did not want any *Virginia Tech* shit happenng in my room and me being the only stupid person to have laughed would have definitely been first on the list for elimination Lwkmd.

Sophomore Year - I got roomed in with an Asian roommate and at first sight homie seemed cool, asians are always cool they never stress. They just read their books, play their video games and use their laptops with out stressing about nothing. Anywayz, first week back at school everything was coasting and I was beginning to think that my luck had started to change. Lo and Behold, the weekend arrived and my roommate went home, came back on Sunday with his dad. While helping my roomie unpack some of his stuff, his dad asked to speak to me privately(I thought he was going to tip me for helping his son unpack, seeing as that's what Africans sometimes do lol). But that was not the case, the dad called me aside and was like
 Dad - "Do you know that my son suffers from seizures"
 Controversy - No I was not aware of the fact that your beloved son suffers from seizures.
Dad - (calls his son and asks him) Why did you not tell your roommate that you suffered from seizures.
Controversy - (In my head am thinking, yeah fool why did you not tell me that you suffered from seizures? You would think that that would be the first thing a roommate would tell another roommate instead of waiting a  week after school had started to let me know.)
Roommate - I forgot to tell him
Dad - Please  he had a seizure last year at the movie theaters, and they called the ambulance and the bill came to $2000. Please if he ever has a seizure, do not call the ambulance, just roll him on his side and in an hour or two hours he will regain consciousness.
Controversy - Yes sir, I will roll him on his side.
Roommate - And please no matter what happens, even if am foaming do not put your fingers into my mouth to prop it open because my teeth will be clenched and I can bite your fingers off
Controversy - (In my head am like) If you know say dem born you well, just try first to bite my fingers off when am trying to help you during your seizure shit. Na coma you go find yourself in. Nonsense.  My papa sent me to school to come and study Political Science so I can enter law school and become lawyer. My papa no send me to school to come and be any body's friggin baby sitter abi na nurse. See me see trouble o.

Anywayz the whole thing ended and the honeymoon of having a perfectly normal roommate for one week was over. *sigh*

This past weekend I put 50 dollars in my drawer on friday and come sunday when I was looking for the money I could not find it. I sincerely could not believe that a human being had stolen money from me? A whole me? Can you imagine the audacity? The guts of such a person? The last time person  steal from me na back in boarding school for Lagos, Nigeria. To make matters worse, who was I to suppose to suspect of thievery? My asian roommates? Do Asians steal? Question: How do you accuse your roommate of stealing your money while saying it in a nice manner?


BY CONTROVERSY

33 comments:

Jayjaytan said...

LMAO!!! I've never had overly weird roomies, but there was this one girl freshman year that I'm pretty sure let her bf sleep on my bed when i went home for the weekends.

Tay-mee said...

LOL dude killed his Dad??..WOAH

I've had my fair share of weirdos for room mates too.

AfriKim said...

There is nothing wrong with weird people...they need love too..lol

Bubbles said...

LMAOOO
DAMN.!!
that asian dad's dude did not want to waste his money again lol

and this post was so refreshing.! :)
what state are you in btw?

Steve said...

time 2 pray softly, "Lord, I lost $50! Please forgive mi trespasser lest I trespass against him!"

Controversy said...

@ jayjaytan
Thank your lucky stars

@ Taymee.
Lol you gotta share your own story sometime.

@ Kim
Stop trying to attache yourself to them lol

@ Bubbles.
Thanks for compliment. I hail from the great state of california.

@ Steve
Lol am not forgivin nobody.

cerberus said...

Hombre,
You sure that guy is asian or ijebu?

Controversy said...

@ cerberus
Lol na asian, taiwanese to be exact. I just dey watch the guy carefully from now on.

Controversy said...

@ Cerberus I tried followin ur blog the thing talk say i must be specially invited to it.
I am seeking to imply that I want that invite o.

TRYBES said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TRYBES said...

Your truly worth your name..Read through your entire posts from the very beginin and tell you what..my jaws are still wide apart screamin haaaa!..LOL...Yes i think you should really free religious matters..before you commit blasphemy..altho intelligent but i certainly wouldnt subscribe to your submissions..

downtheaisle said...

LWKM@ the seizure room-mate. I want to translate the seizure into yoruba
*wa-ra-pa*...lol, dat's some long thingsss!!!!

***first time here!

cerberus said...

bro we don't have any restrictions nor is TMP private. the follow tab is under powerful minds or you can add us to your google reader straight up.

the den email is mail2cerberus@gmail.com

NaijaBabe said...

OMG you have had weird roomates!
shet

Lady X said...

Yeee! He killed his dad...Aint that some weird shit! And as for the Asian guy you can ask him casually if he saw the 50 dollars lying in your drawer... Heheh! Better hope he doesn't get a seizure!

~B~ said...

LOOL @ Lady X, abi!! But damn! dude u try oh, I for don carry my load waka go house! u shot ur own father??! nd wat is it with asians nd seizures? my friend had an asian roomie with a similar condition..

EDJ said...

Lol kpele, I never had roommate issues. Had the same roommate for Freshman & Sophomore year, then I became an RA and got a single :-). I did have a friend whose roommate would have sex in the room while my friend was in the room. Though the roommmate was nice enough to turn off the light, my friend could still hear what was going on. She was an oyinbo girl btw.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

lol: the guy killed his father, i sure would have moves out of that room that night.

Seizure no be small thing oh!!!

Controversy said...

@ Trybes lol
How i go free religion matter, i only took a reprieve. Religion matter is very important to me, it is the cause of at least 95% of Human misery in our world today. Moreover, i usually think that my submissions sometimes do contain elements of truth. But truth as u know will set u free, but first it will make u miserable. A lot of ppl do not want to subscribe to that misery.

@ Downtheaisle
Thanks for stopping by lol. I hope u had fun reading the posts.

@ cerberus.
Thanks no prob

@ Naijababe
Lol forreal.

@ Lady X
Lwkm @ him going into seizure after askin 4 my money. I'll rub it in by calling that dirty ambulance.

@ B
Lol and wetin i go tell my parents? I waka go house because my roomie tell me say e accidentally shoot e papa when he was lil.

@ EDJ
Wow dats messed up, while they were in the same room, the other roomie would have sex with a guy? WOwsers

@ Lady with Red Hair
lol seizure no be long thing @ all.

Devine said...

lol..I had this weird roomie too, like wen im asleep this girl will pull a seat and be watching me and when woke up, na her big bug eyes dey my face!
Mein, ppl like that need serious love tho, i hope ur chinko roomie dnst hav a seizure wen ur in deep sleep or in the lib or sm

Chari said...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dun even know where to start mehnnn Chai! Mr Crates! you're on check brov....hahaha

seems like you are gaining a followin here...impressive brov...

wellsbaba said...

OOOO MYYY GUSHHHH! MY FIRST TIME HERE N U JUST KILLED ME! lol ur last question just lives up ur name... controversy! lol you smile,rather grin while winking n slowly ask ur room mate! lol

Controversy said...

@ Devine
Wow umm that's very creepy.
U should have told her to cut it out or let her know that u tend to spontaneously throw out ur arm and slap ppl if they to close to ur face.

@ Chari
Thank you o bros.
Couldn't have happened without u.

@ Wellsbaba
First of all bruv, ur name is on point. haha use to call a friend dat before back in naija. Good times.

Devine said...

lmao
true o, kai, it wasnt funny, she was suicidal amongst many things, n in my school if ur roomie dies esp commits suicide u get a pass on ur semester!lol
but sadly she didnt kill herself!
lol

Tigeress said...

waow shot his dad?!! no wonder he's depressed- having to live with that for the rest of ur life.

As for the seizure guy- i hope it never happened in front of u.

Myne Whitman said...

Welcome to Blogger, just passing by.

Maybe you misplaced your money?

Controversy said...

@ myne whitman
Thanks for stopping by.
I did not misplace the money. Am possitive.

@ Devine
Hahah mehn u got issues o.
But damn why do they give u a pass if ur roomie commits suicide? Need to check if that's the same policy in my school

@ tigeresss
I hope so to mehn.

Buttercup said...

Whoa! Ahnahn you've not gisted me about these roomies. Na wa o! Scary shit..

Controversy said...

Lol Big sis you did not know. I have been living a life on the edge for sometime now. no be small.

Realist said...

OMG!!! you have to have made this ish up.

I had a druggie as a roommate freshman year, but at the beginning of the second semester he left to room with another druggie so it worked out because i ended up with the room for myself.

Controversy said...

Lol funny thing just happened as I was just about replyin u
@ Realist.
Roomie hella starts to toss and turn and i think he's having a seizure. Keep in mind it's 2:24am lol and idk why this dude is turnin like that. Oh well
But yeah ur lucky ur druggie roomie moved away, he cud definitely have gotten u in a lot of trouble

nonny said...

I was gonna say i have only ever had normal roomies and it might actually be fun to have a wierdo as a roomate just once. Then it hit me, the asian dude probably tells his family and friends "why do i always end up with wierdos as roomates, now its a black one who won't keep money in his wallet but in a friggin drawer"

Controversy said...

Hahahahahah Nonny.
U have a solid point my friend. A solid point