Wednesday, September 23, 2009
ARMED ROBBERS IN NIGERIA!!!
The year was 2004, the day was sunny, Nepa had not yet taken light lol. We had just gotten back from a family lunch and my parents decided last minute that they wanted to go for exercise, as the gateman was closing the gate, the 6 armed robbers came in through the gate and hustled the gateman, his girlfriend etc into the main house. As this was going on, yours truly was in the House playing PlayStation and I was fully concentrated on the game that when one of the robbers came through the door I actually greeted one of them thinking that he was the carpenter or something.
Controversy - Good Afternoon o
Robber - Good Afternoon (proceeds to go through the rooms and ignores me)
Controversy ( Being the fool that he is, continues to play his video game)
The robbers brought everybody into the living room and proceed to tell everybody to get on the floor, it wasn't until one of them pointed his double barrel gun @ my chest that I knew that shit had hit the fan "literally" I almost had a heart attack, because my heart made several leaps, the two huge holes in that double barrel gun convinced me that I was about to die.I proceeded to lie flat on the floor, but unbeknownst to moi, shit don catch me ever since that idiotic robber pointed the gun at moi. So I proceeded to let him know that I had to use the restroom.
Controversy - Please sir Shit wan catch me, make I go use toilet.
Robber - Hold on, We will soon be done.
Controversy (grimaces, starts to turn and twist in other to displace the shit that is threatening to destroy me asks again) - Oga please I wan go shit.
Robber -(walks over to me and hands me the dirtiest slap I've ever received in my life)
Controversy - (all the shit literally went out of my system, the shit didn't trouble me any longer. Who knew that a simple slap could do so much) - The glasses I was wearing at the time of that slap broke in half.
The Robbers proceeded to cart away all the money we had in that house, and as they were taking money, laptops, cell phones etc, almighty NEPA took light. Lmao, imagine NEPA coming to our rescue, the robbers could not see anything so they decided to hurry up and leave. They honestly left so many stuff behind all thanks to NEPA, (this is where christians would say all thanks to God, like God was the guy working in the NEPA station who turned off the light).
The robbers where now looking for a room to lock us all in that was big enough, because Robbers don't want you calling the police immediately they've left, as if Nigerian Police ever responded fast to anything. First, they took us into the househelp's room and wanted to lock us in there, they told us to lie on the floor, again my ass was slow in getting down so, that very same robber walked up to me and gave me another dirty slap. At that point, I was basically numb on that face, two dirty slaps in the span of 10 minutes can do that to a brova's face. They eventually locked us in the toilet, seeing as the househelp's room had no key to lock it with, and then they left. We didn't wait 10 minutes before our kind Nigerian Neighbors came to rescue us from the place, they broke down the door and let us out. My parents did not come back until two hours later, and when they heard the news they were extremely shocked. Everyone was truly traumatised, and being the devil that I am, I exploited the trauma card as an excuse to get out from going to church that sunday. (Honestly, never let a good crisis go to waste).
At the end of everything sha, we were all fine and the housemaid had been beaten up a few times but nothing really major. She was fine, and I turned out fine also, even after all those slaps lol. So yeah, my people entertain me with your own stories or stories you yourselves have heard about.