Marriage 2

My last post on marriage was mainly a brief look at the perspective of animal behavior and how the human specie differ and fail at it. But today, I’m going to focus 100% of my thesis on humans, no chimps, wolves, meerkats etc. So to begin, I’ll like to discuss about “love.” Some say “when a man and a woman fall have love for each other, they get married,” or “love brings us all together,” or “love is the answer to world peace” and yadi-yadi-ya. And they are all correct, but the shocking thing is if you ask these people what love means, they either give you a fairy tale answer or come up with bullshit wrapped up in warm emotions. Especially when you ask them what love means in marriage. So I’ll tell you what exactly love is (no bullshit attached), it’s symbiosis. Yes, symbiosis, you learned about this is in Biology: It’s the “scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” mode of survival, in other words, mutual-ism. That’s what love really is without the fairy tale bullshit. We can even use maths to prove it; (Substitutive property) if love = symbiosis, then “when a man and a woman have symbiosis for each other, they get married,” “symbiosis brings us all together,” “symbiosis is the answer to world peace.” Seems correct ehn? But I’m sure there are some people who still no gree, so make I break am down berra: love, this form of symbiosis, is mainly trading a physical and/or emotional want/need for another physical and/or emotional want/need. Think of anything you love/loved, if it never (directly or indirectly) met a need or made you feel good emotionally or physically, would you still love it? I’ll give you an example, I love the English footballer, Wayne Rooney simply because the guy is fantastic at what he does, but it wouldn’t be the case if he was just some junkie who lived in a trailer park like this commercial depicted: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idLG6jh23yE. With that been said, let’s see how symbiosis affects marriages.

There are two fundamental factors that are necessary for marriage; sex and security. Now keep in mind I said they are the FUNDAMENTAL factors, not the ONLY factors, other factors such as respect, culture, religion and so forth play a role too. The reason why those other factors aren’t the fundamental factors is simply because someone who has sex with you and secures you under a roof is a better candidate for marriage than someone who’s from the same culture, practices the same religion and respects you. Now here’s where symbiosis plays a role, in a typical instance, the men are the security guards and the women are the sex symbols. The men see women as trophies to be won, that’s why it’s always the man who has to get the girl. Keep the emphasis on “won” and then remind yourself why it’s called “spittin’ game.” In order to win the babe, you must make her happy and safe, then everything else is a piece of cake. From a typical woman’s perspective, they want a strong and handsome lad to sweep them off their feet, yet feel secure in his arms. But fellas, don’t get it twisted, you can look like Boris Kodjoe, you can sweep her off her feet, give her the best lay she can imagine, but if you can’t secure her, you’re just a booty call not a potential husband. I was watching History Channel a couple of months back, and they had this interesting documentary about the difference between men and women. They conducted a survey where they took an individual portrait-like photos of three men. The first one was like a Reggie Bush type of guy, built like a running back and stunningly handsome, the next was a good looking guy, but not as good-looking as the first, and the last was an average looking guy. They showed random women in public these photos and asked them who “attracts them the most.” And of course, the results were as expected, the Reggie Bush type of guy came in first, good-looking guy second, and average Joe third. But then they flipped the switch, they made the best looking guy have a minimum wage income, the good looking guy have an average income, and the average Joe be a millionaire. And just like that, the results made a 180 degree turn, where the average Joe is #1, good looking guy remains at #2, and Reggie Bush type of guy #3. So you see it fellas? I ain’t saying women are golddiggers, but y’all aint messin’ with no broke niggas. This song right here is a hilarious illustration of this truth from the perspective of the broke nigga: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0XrbEwNc

On the woman’s side, she must prop herself up to be a good sex trophy for her man. That’s why she spends all that time fixing her nails and getting her hair did. Even the non-sexual things she should be good all have to do with sex. For example, she must be smart, so she can give good head; she must cook well, so he eat her out; she must also be a good cleaning maid, so one day he can return the favor by cleaning her pipes. That’s why when a man’s got a good sex trophy, he brags to his friends “yeah, I’m hittin’ that ass,” and when he doesn’t, he says alone to himself “I can do better, I know I can do better.” So ladies definitely know the value of their vaginas and sex, and often hold use it for negotiating purposes, like women who only have sex when they get married. Unfortunately, there is a downside to that, and where’s a parable that depicts it’s negativity:

Mary Anne was a staunch christian, she was beyond born again; she was born thrice. But the thing is the Lord blessed her with the gift of sexiness. 5’5”, endowed upper and lower body, like Kanye West said “she got an ass that would swallow up a G-string, and up top, umm, two beast things,” and to put the icing on the cake, her face was better than anything Michelangelo could sculpt. Even at church, when she sat upfront, the pastor could feel the holy ghost power striking his pants. With the looks she has, many men have dated and tried to make it to her “promise land” but she left them in the desert. Her ideology was simple: “if my finger doesn’t enter your ring, your penis isn’t entering my 'promise land.'” So most men gave up, except for this one guy, who dated her but never asked for sex. She decided to marry him, and on their honeymoon, when she wanted to make him feel like the luckiest man alive, she pulled down his shokoto to find absolutely nothing there. He had a penectomy, that's why he never asked her for sex. Now due to her born thrice beliefs, she can neither have sex outside marriage nor divorce him. She used to have boys fighting over who can hit that, but now the only sex she can get is from a dickless nigga. Happy married life, Mary.

Well ladies, the lesson is simple, have sex before marriage, it reduces your chances of marrying a dickless nigga. With that I conclude, now we know how the symbiosis of sex and security are the backbone of every marriage, in my next post, Marriage 3, I’ll show you how culture plays a role in marriage. If you notice, I used the word “typically” a lot in this blog, and that’s for those of you who would use one instant out of a million to argue. Just like men typically have deep voices and women typically don’t have chest hair, I’m sure you can always bring examples that prove otherwise. Anyways, peace out.

The bible sucks!

Warning! This post will offend many and I am not apologizing for it!

I am currently speaking from a place with a lot of hate. I always try to be tolerant to Christianity and the Bible. I never bash. However, since Christians have decided that they shall not respect what I believe because it isn't 'the truth' I've decided that I'm done being polite. Like my friend says "Fuck civility. Let's all be bitches"

My question is;
What is with the old and new testaments? In fact what is with the bible in general? I think the bible was written by a bunch of fucking idiotic liars who didn’t even think to cross check each others' work. It has so many fucking contradictions, it amazes me that people can even sit there and defend it. So I am starting a new bi-monthly segment, titled “Contradictions in the bible” There are so many that it might take me months and then I’ll let you sit there and lie to yourself and tell yourself that “The word of God shouldn’t be questioned because I am a mere mortal”

Are we saying "God" couldn't make up his mind? Or are we saying that by creating the New Testament, "God” was once wrong with some of his old rules? Which brings about the question, can "God" be wrong? So in that case should we be expecting a new millennium testament because some of that shit is out dated? Also maybe “God” went through therapy and stuff because we have to admit that “God” was a sinister, evil bastard in the Old Testament. He commanded stoning, killing of babies and destruction of people's property. In the New Testament he supposedly comes down as an alter ego and preaches love, joy and happiness.

For the record, I'm sick and tired of people choosing to follow some parts of the Old Testament when it pleases them. No! You either think the Old Testament is outdated or you don't. Do not come at me with some scripture from the Old Testament and when I come back at you, you tell me my scripture is all no longer valid. How about you fuck yourself with your ignorance

Also, don't tell me "Oh Jesus spoke most of the new Testament not God" Negro please. Aren't you the same person that said God and Jesus are one? If Jesus and God are the same, then shouldn’t they like share a mind? Why are they contradicting each other?

Mark 15:34-37, Matthew 27:46-50 - Jesus says: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” If he’s the same as God, please I’d like you to explain why he thinks he has forsaken himself?

John 10:30 I and my Father are one.
John 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

This is looking more and more like Multiple personality disorder.

MPD describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.

I believe in God, and I’d like to think that my God is sane and shit.

Yours blasphemingly,

Vanity xx

P.S. I’d appreciate if the people who wrote the bible could agree on one creation story because, well, the humans are monkeys theory is making more sense at the moment. Did humans come first or did the animals?

Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:26 And God said; Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
(Notice how in genesis 1, he says 'let us'. So is there more than one God? Or was Jesus there with him? Or did the angels help him? In that case why does he take the glory for all their work? Isn't that like plagiarism? Also in this chapter, it seems that Eve was planned because he says them while in Chapter 2, Eve is more of an after thought! )

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.(How sexist! Notice how it says Help and not companion And how Eve wasn't even planned!)
Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

(If you read my own blog, you'll know I have issues with the family and they are making me read the bible and well, this is what happens when I read the bible. I have to read the whole bible so um yeah. Just about done with genesis!)

POLITICALLY INCORRECT

I was going through some old videos that I favorited on youtube and Obama's videos stuck out to me. I went and re-listened to them and they are still very good, encouraging, uplifting songs. I scrolled down and read some of the latest comments and compared them to the older ones and WOW!

I am not a political person. I know as much about politics as I know about soccer, and all I know about soccer is that Posh's husband plays it and Nigeria sucks at it. So that should tell you something. Anyhow, I was one of the people who cheered for Obama the loudest. I organized rallies encouraging people to vote for him, I wore his face on my chest, ate on his face and if possible would have wiped my ass with his face. I will also admit that I did all this for three reasons: 1) He is black 2) All my friends supported him. 3) They served really good food at the rallies (Yummy barbecue).

Honestly, I have no idea what the Health reform is about or any of that good stuff he promised. So if you read this post expecting some long speech about any of that shit, you will be disappointed. I just want to know one thing;

Why have people given up on Obama? I mean sure I think he was a bit over reaching with his promises but y'all were also over reaching believing that he could really make all the bad and hurt go away just because he can speak eloquently and is black. I mean I understand that an eloquent black person is on it's own a miracle but still.

Remember Bush? Took him over eight years to fuck up America to the point it is now. EIGHT. YEARS. And Obama hasn't even been here for two years yet. Were you guys expecting some kind of Kenyan voodoo to be performed? Do you think a war that has been going on for years, at least 4 that I can count would end in months? Do you know the kind of planning that goes into ending a war and ensuring that when you bring back the soldiers Iraqis won't flood the country with explosives?

I mean seriously people y'all are disparaged so easily? Did you really expect that he would deliver all his promises at once? I hear he fixed the health thing and prop8 was overturned so he's doing something.

Some of you guys have believed in Jesus for like 20 years now and your lives still suck and Jesus is like half human, half spirit or something. He should be able to fix your lives a lot faster and if he still hasn't fixed shit by now, how much more can you expect from a mere mortal?

I saw a recent picture of him and OMG he has aged 10 years in two years. You guys are stressing him with your negativity and your lack of belief. His shine and energy is slowly ebbing away. I am starting to think this guy is like Tinkerbell. Maybe he needs us to start chanting "We believe in Obama" so that his youth can come back. He is slowly fading away.

Newer Comments:

This isn't anyone's America except for the corrupt politicians, gullible people, propaganda by a music artist doesn't mean anything you want will happen. Respect you Obama, but you haven't done shit when it comes to the corruption and bullshit laws in this country. CHANGE WHAT?

That's what many of these liberals can't seem to see; he has changed nothing! He didn't even try to end the wars; he kept the same defense secretary on from the very start! 

America got duped. Plain and simple

Older Comments
Our first president of color has to be an incredible thing for all people of color and minorities, but I think the greatest "fringe benefit" of his presidency will be the racial reality-check that he and his beautiful, strong smart TOGETHER family will provide to all the willfully and inadvertently ignorant people in this country. I am SO profoundly glad, indeed joyful, that our nation awoke to this opportunity and seized it !!!! 

Not only is America gonna change. No the WORLD is gonna change. thank your America, thank you everyone who voted for Obama, and thank you, who is now Mr. President.

 Fun Fact: The person who wrote the first new comment and first old comment are the same.

I mean he's a black guy cut him some slack, he's going to be late with delivering a lot of those promises,

Vanity xx

P.s. this is another great song by Will-I-am

A MUSLIM CANNOT BE PRESIDENT OF AMERICA....

I have been following this Mosque on Ground Zero debate for awhile now, and the way some of the pundits have been talking about this issue is pretty troublesome. To the point where somepeople have started to wonder aloud whether President Obama is a closet muslim. Funny thing they just found out that the same person that is funding the proposed mosque is also a part owner of Fox News. The same Fox News thats been against the proposed mosque. Anywayz back to the topic.

I then started to wonder, so what if Obama is a Muslim. How does that affect his presidency anymore than him being a Christian could affect his presidency. I asked some christian friends of mine whether Obama being a muslim would stop them from voting for him. They all said No, and I was pleased with their answer but I still pressed on. Why does Obama being a muslim not bother you? He doesn't have Christian values, his moral standards should naturally come into question. They all said that they would still vote for him because his religion should be different from his candidacy. Religion is a private thing according to them, it should be different from public office.

I then upgraded my question to "If Obama was an atheist, would you still vote for him" and that is when it got interesting. A lot of them naturally said NO. Now this begs the obvious question, if religion should not play a part in his candidacy why then would you refuse to vote for him if he's atheist? So you see subconsciously or even cosnsciously religion does play a huge role in the way we decide who to vote for as candidates.

Now lets look at this through another lense, the bible says something about not being unequally yoked with somebody else abi? Now that proves that being together with somebody from another religion/unbeliever etc is frowned upon. Now if God frowns upon you marrying somebody from another religion, why would he approve of voting for somebody from another religion to lead you?

MARRIAGE

I’ve been wanting to blog about this topic for a while, but today seems to be the most appropriate day to do so. If you’ve noticed, I blog here quite often mainly because I’m very comfortable interacting with a lot of you, I view most of you as respectful intellectuals, regardless of your beliefs, but lately I’ve been busy and that explains why I’ve been MIA (but don't worry, I'll make up for it with this long ass blogpost). Even with my busy schedule, I always take priority in isolating myself to think, and the idea of marriage is a topic I discuss with myself more frequently these days. This summer seemed to be marriage season, a lot of people I know (or at least recognize) are getting married; at my work place some of my close customers are seeking my advice on their marriage; even as I type right now I’m currently listening to, or as they say in twitter land, #np “Marriage of Figaro” by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. So I think it is fair to conclude that marriage is in the air, both figurative and literally. But before I jump into the subject of marriage, I’ll like to re-introduce myself so when I do start discussing this topic, you’ll know where I’m coming from. I am a very typical INTP (Myers-Briggs Personality Test), logical and analytical in my approach. I believe there is always a logical and natural explanation to even the strangest occurrences; that physics is the backbone in every magic trick, that there’s psychology in every psychic’s bullshit, and natural formulas and mathematical equations to what people know as love. I believe even emotions are capable of logic explanations, as logical as 2+2=4. It takes me a while to observe, gather up evidence, experiment with what I’ve got, calculate with the results, and then conclude my theory. But once I’m done concluding my theory, when I’m in my comfort zone I tend to be outspoken about it even if it’s contrary to many societal theories. Unfortunately, this is one of them: Marriage. After the re-introduction of my character and judging by the subject, I would suggest this would be a good time for the closed-minded and the married folks to leave, (because if your marriage hits the rocks after reading this post, I am not responsible). Ok enough of the bullshit, let’s get down to business:

A wise man once said, “The wedding ring is the world’s smallest handcuff.” Although it’s looking at the cup as half-empty, but saying “I do” in a conventional monogamous marriage is like pleading guilty for a life sentence, because that’s exactly what marriage is; a life sentence. You’re metaphorically shackled to your spouse in a “till death do us apart” contract, so you better love your spouse to death because when you decide to marry him/her, that’s exactly what you’re gonna have to do. And honestly, the only thing worse than a “till death do us apart” contract is signing your soul to the devil. The idea of a monogamous marriage is so unnatural and the results prove it. In countries where there is freedom to divorce, divorce rates seem to be pretty high. Here in the US, it’s up to about 50%, which according to the US standard of education is an “F” grade. So therefore, if marriage was a student in the US, marriage would be a serious olodo, or as the yanks say, “dumbass.” Now the question arises; why is marriage such a failure? Is it the culture? Or is it the idea of it? I’d pick both, but I’m more convinced it’s more of the latter. If you look at the main reasons why most marriages split up, the top two are either sexually or financially related.

If you look at the mechanics of the male genitalia, it’s designed for multiple sexual partners. Hundreds of millions of sperm cells gets produced daily, and sperm cells only have a lifetime of 3-5 days. Yet out of these innumerable short-lived cells, only one is allowed to grow in a female’s egg for a period of nine months. This makes the period of time a monogamous couple has productive sex shrink (and that’s not to include the female’s periodic time). All these factors make the other millions of sperm cells that aren’t fertilized to be a thing of waste. Now I am pretty sure most men aren’t raised to waste things, so they “cheat.” Afterall, there are millions of sperm cells in him that are just waiting to get a taste of the outside world, or at least see the walls of a vagina. But yet “cheating” is a taboo in relationships, especially monogamous marriages. And it makes no sense why. If you look at other social animals like lions, wolves, meerkats, even our close cousins, chimps, they build a structure based on polygamy. The strongest and most accomplished of the males of these social creatures tend to get a lot of female companions. If you look at a lion’s den, it’s mostly composed of a few dominant males and plenty lionesses. The dominant male has a polygamous relationship with his females, and I bet you that’s why they have a lower divorce rate than we humans. But rather than learning from other social animals, we tend to view ourselves higher and them as primitives. Too bad the primitives are doing better at marriage than the holier-than-thou humans, ntoo :-p. Instead we follow a code that doesn’t even make sense; only having sex with one partner.

Now that I've given examples of social animals that don't follow such rules, lemme give you the opposite. For instance, there are some worms that when they mate, their genitals adjoin for life. That's a classic case of two becoming one, not marriage. The reason why we can never adapt such methods is because the worms are hermaphrodites and we are social mammals. Another instance is the story of a black widow, the reason these spiders are called so, is because when the males wants it, he puts his life on the line by leaving a part of himself in her after mating. Therefore self-destructing because he wants some spider booty, now that's a classic case of "till death do us 'part," not marriage apparently.

It's about time we humans recognize our nature instead of following an unrealistic code based of "happily ever after" fairy tales. The other day, I was at work, and the TV was on. My boss was watching a soap opera, and the scene I accidentally stumbled across was one where a married man was having sex with some chic, and his wife came in at the right/wrong moment (depends on who's perspective you see it from). She slaps the shit out of the chic and throws her out of the house, then once the chic is out of the scene, the wife starts crying as she looks at her helpless husband still in shock and in the bed. Then she says, "Don't you love me?" The rest was some of crying, and mushy-gushy shit. But her question had me thinking, just like Tina Turner said, "What's love got to do with it?" Seriously though, how do you connect your husband or wife having sex with someone else (unless the person is your enemy) as he/she not loving you? It seems as if marriage is really all about sex. If he (the husband) was hungry, the wife wasn't around, and the neighbor or housegirl cooked for him, that's fine; but if he was horny, and the neighbor or housegirl gave it up, then that's unacceptable. If that's the case, then asking "don't you love me?" would be the wrong question, it should be "aren't you loyal to this pussy?" I love egusi, but when I eat ogbono soup, I don't feel like I cheated or anything, so why is the marriage in love different? Maybe because marriage is an institution not based on love, but on loyalty. The same loyalty cults demand: Till you die.


Anyways, I obviously have a lot to say about this topic, but I'm afraid if I go on, you won't be reading a blog but rather a book. So I'm definitely going to have a series on this, but for right now I just wanted to share the natural/sexual faults in marriage. Next time I'll touch on the financial/social aspects, until then be safe, and let me know what you think. Once again, I'll like to remind you that I'm not responsible for any downturns in your marriages after reading this post, I'm just stating my opinion. Messiah has spoken, now it's your turn. Peace

How the church promotes having children out of wedlock

At first glance at the title, you might think that there is no way the church will knowingly promote such a thing... and you would be right. They are doing it unconsciously. I was at the local christian fellowship on campus around valentine. And of course the topic of the day was relationships. They had people write questions on a piece of paper to ask the panel (consisted of 4 students, a boyfriend/girlfriend and 2 single people of the opposite sex). At first people where asking punk ass questions like, how can i find the person of my dreams and other fairy tale questions. Then they messed up and let me and my friends get in our questions. I wont go through all the questions we asked except for one.

I dont remember how the question came up but it consisted of whether as a christian male we should carry around a condom. We knew what the answer would be but we wanted to spice up the event. Well one of the responses was, you shouldnt because when you buy the condom that means you are intending to use it, intending to sin. One other guy in the crowd said he leaves his own in the car so that he has to go all the way over to the car to get it, and by the time he walks to the car he would have been able to think it through and not do it. And everyone was commenting on his genius. I think to myself, what if the thing is about to happen in the car, what will you do? Or lets say he tell the chick he has to go get the condom and then she says dont worry i got one. Wetin he go do?

I have noticed christian organizations have a problem talking about protection, it is all about abstinence. They wont even fund programs that talk about protection, they say it leads to promiscuity. They forget that we are all human, that we are made in "His" Image not a carbon copy. We will fall, and if we dont know how to fall safely, we will dislocate/fracture/sprain/bruise our lives. Talking to my fellow christian compatroits and i realize a lot of them are ignorant about sexual stuff. I pray that some guy/girl does not use this ignorance and do them bad thing. Because the thing i have found out is that it is harder to remain a virgin/celibate because it says so in the bible than it is when you are doing it because you want to. For me, knowing i am doing it because i choose to made it so much easier.

Back to the title, the church's refusal to talk about protection leads to babies being born out of wedlock. Because they do not want to be a bad christian, they wont buy the condom or learn how to put it on properly or go on the pill. Because they are a good christian after they "fall" they will pray to God to forgive them instead of going to walgreens and buying that plan B. Because they are a good christian they wont have an abortion. Because they are good christians they will have a beautiful bouncing baby out of wedlock. Church- 1 Christian- 0
wetin una think?

Be more like Jesus

I know I look hot. It's a pale pink, flowered, boobed tubed, A line dress that hits just above my knees. My shoes are new dollhouses. Studded and zippered to contrast the ultra girly dress. My hair is a curly bun, and my makeup is as always on point, my signature smoky cat eyes and pale pink lips.

I give myself a once over and walk into the church, it's my friend sister's wedding and I'm like 20 mins late. So as I hurry to my assigned seat, my heels pitter patter on the floor (as heels are known to do) and this causes the whole church's attention to shift to me. Well, being no stranger to attention, I shift my hurried walk into a catwalk. Feeling very cool with myself.

Next thing I know an usher walks up to me. She's 24ish, wearing a pale grey suit two sizes too big and shoes that look like clogs. Brown powder 5 shades too light and ugly plastic ear rings. I beam my best smile at her and whisper "I know where my seat is." Imagine my surprise as she grabs my arm and says rather harshly "Abeg let's go outside, I want to talk to you about something"

I stare in amazement at the crusty nails grabbing my arm. My friend gives me a look like "What is going?" I reply with what is now known as the 'Kanye shrug'. I walk outside with this girl and say "What's up?" Silently hoping she wants me to give her a makeover. As I silently decide what eye shadow would look good on her, out of her too-bright-for-her-complexion-red-lipsticked mouth comes this "We can see your bobbie (breasts), your dress is too short, your shoe too high, you cannot enter this church. You want to come and distract our pastor and brothers?"

I stare in surprise, mouth slightly ajar as she walks away and shuts the door behind her.
As a true naija girl, I walk away head held high and drive to the nearest beer and peppersoup joint awaiting the close of the ceremony and to contemplate the stupidity of this scenario.
As a church, isn't your place to show us the error of our ways as "sinners"? Isn't it your place to take us in and try to make us sin no more? Do you know how empty the bible would be if Jesus had only saved seemingly decent people?

“On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. ¹³But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mathew 9: 12-13
"I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I’" Isaiah 65:1

Wouldn't it have been better if after church she walked up to me and tried to preach to me and then explain that if I wanted to come next time, I had to maintain a certain decorum? People like her and whoever invented that rule fail as Christians.

Imagine if I went and bad mouthed the church to all my friends, facebook, twitter, blogsville e.t.c Not just the church, but Christ would lose a lot of potential followers. She would have single handedly gone to hell for the loss of my soul and the thousands of people I would have told who would have decided that Christianity was too much of a hassle.

Now some of you are going to say "Did you not know you were going to church, why did you dress like that?" Imagine if I was a hooker and all my clothes were mini skirts and striper boots. Somehow suddenly I decide to give my life to Christ and your church is the closest to me. I wear my usual clothes that I feel good in after all, the bible or so says “It's what's in my heart that matters” and then I receive treatment like that. Raise your hand if you think I will try another church for a long ass time, if at all.


Anyhow who are you to turn “sinners” away? It’s like a hospitals turning people away for being too sick. If your Jesus, your Messiah, the one who you are supposed to be so much like didn’t turn “sinners” away but went and sought them, Who the Fuck are you?

Ok Also this is unrelated but since am talking about church. It can be argued that God hated sinners. And if God hates sinners and Jesus wants them, doesn’t that kinda trump your God & Jesus the same argument? Or did God have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) and that’s why he created Jesus to be his alter ego? (waits for thunder to strike…. Ok we’re good)

Here are some examples:
Psalm 5:5 says “The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers.”
 Psalm 11:5 says “The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
 Jeremiah 12:8 says “My heritage has become to me like a lion in the forest; she has lifted up her voice against me; therefore I hate her.”
Hosea 9:15 he says, “Every evil of theirs is in Gilgal; there I began to hate them.”
Psalm 119:119 All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross; therefore I love your statutes.

And of course there is the simple but powerful:
Romans 9:13  “As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”"

Yet we flinch from ascribing such an emotion to God? Why is this? Is it not enough to see the Scriptures clearly showing God hating sin and sinners to accept that this is true?

Ok, Am done.
Vanity XX

FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK, STRANGERS IN REAL LIFE

Ehem lol, this blog post might be self explanatory to some or it might need further explanation. Ok if you are somebody who uses facebook on the regular, you must have certain friends on there who you've never seen in real life. They might live in your state, city, country etc.

So a huge event is coming up right, or a huge party and one or two or three or even four of your friends you normally talk to on your facebook plan to be at that same event and you personally will be showing face. The day of the event comes and it goes well, you notice some of those friends on facebook and if you were like me in the old days you go front tire before going to approach them.

Am sure I am not the only person this has happened to, the people on your facebook are literally just there but you don't want to approach them first for one reason or the other. Sometimes it's because your feeling yourself tomuch, sometimes it might be because you perceive that the other person might have tomuch ego and you feel they should take the humble step of being the first to introduce themselves. Well I and my female friend were just talking about it and we realised it really does not matter. Life is not that serious, if you are cool ass friends with the person on facebook or if you just chat from time to time, why then is it hard for you to go meet them.

Then later when all of you get home, two of you or all of you will tweet each other or facebook chat each other saying "Oh I saw you @ this and this" then the other person will be like " how come you did not come say hi" and in your mind your like "how come your yeye self no come say hi to? Abi na only for my village them dey say hi" hissssss.

Anywayz sha, I know most of you get the gist of what am trying to say sha, why do some of us tend to do that though? What's the big deal? Why would you be friends on facebook but strangers in real life??


Azazel

DYING

Death. Some days I wake up and the fear of death is so paralysing, I am unable to get up from my bed. Then I realise, I could die just lieing there. I could've died in my sleep. So I get up and not think of the possible ways I could die today. I don't think of slipping in the bathtub, I don't think of getting electrocuted by my hair dryer. No. I don't think of all the ways my gas could explode. I don't think of getting hit by a car on my way to the bus stop.
I don't imagine the possible ways the bus could crash. I don't imagine that someone in my class could be a shooter or bomber. I don't imagine that the building could colapse. I don't imagine a stray bullet coming from nowhere. I don't imagine my asthma killing me. I just . . . live.

Someone said to me, "Omg you've gone sky diving or air gliding or car racing or any one of the other amazing shit I've done. Aren't you scared of dying?" My reply "Omg you drive a car everyday, aren't you scared of dying? Because there are more chances of you dying just walking than there is for me jumping out of a plane"
I'm scared of dying but I refuse to let the fear stop me from living my life exactly how I want. If I die, I want to die doing something. Something exciting. Preferably having sex (threesome? Orgy?)
#ImJustSaying
Vanity xx

FOOD FOR THOUGHT BY AZAZEL

Food for thought is basically this segment where I ask questions and then put the responsibility on answering the said question on you. :)


Well did he? Did our lord and savior have 'carnal knowledge' with a member of the opposite sex or did he not? Now it doesn't matter If he did afterall there isn't no rule that I know of that forbids the son of God/Messiah from having sexual intercourse. The question is if Jesus did have sex, who did he have it with? Possibly Mary Magdelene, possible Martha sister of lazarus. Afterall, she might have decided to repay Jesus with a lil something something for saving her brother lazarus. #finewomanthatshewas.

The problem with the Jesus having sex theory is that if indeed our lord and savior did have sex that would mean he committed pre-marital sex, and as you my fine readers know. Pre-marital sex is forbidden by Jesus's daddy. Unless of course, pre-marital sex is only accepted if one of the persons involved is divine in nature. Afterall, mary herself was sexed before she got married wasn't she? And who sexed her? A divine being. So truly, the exception to that decree could be 'as long as the person sexing you is spirit/angel


Some will argue and say that Mary never committed pre-marital sex. Well let me post the bible verse that says otherwise. Genesis 1:18 "This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit".... But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son"
So in reality, Mary did commit the sin of pre-marital sex.


What if Jesus had been a woman? Would she have been taken seriously? 
Answer by Messiah - Imagine taking a woman seriously, who told you to make fishers of men? #nahashawobethat


Did Jesus ever get drunk? Was he an alcoholic? Given the chance to change water to wine, he could have changed it to milk, to cranberry juice, to apple juice or even to my favorite pomegranate but he chose to change it to wine? 


Hmm my people, I have a great testimony to share with you all. So just the other day, 19 people died in a building collapse in Nigeria. We thank God almighty for his mercies endureth forever. #Itcouldhavebeen20