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Thursday, November 5, 2009

INTRODUCING.....Otunba 'JesusFreak' Jb-m.........


Well..well...well...I have finally decided to say something...I have been lurking around here for too long..i think its high time i finally said something..I can see a lot has been going on here lately....different people with different views and different styles of airing them. I must confess i have read a lot of very intelligent views that just kept me wondering...some almost got me confused and some are just plain ludicrous n Risible...i haven't been this entertained in a very long time. I have to give it to you guys..I just got back from Nigeria a couple of weeks back, We all know Naija is a crazy ass country...you really dont need TV or Internet to keep you entertained...when you are bored all you need to do is take a walk..you will see live farce comedy going on all over.lol. for example. i left work after a very fussy and tiring day.It was going to be an approximately 10 minutes drive home...plus traffic and the time i will spend behind the gate before Ibrahim the gateman comes to open the gate. Its quite short but its usually the longest part of my day....i do three Jobs all in one...lol. I work as a systems and software engineer plus database administrator...all these are meant to be 3 different positions. but the company i work for just fired about 10 senior staff member for gross misconduct..that was why i found myself in that predicament.lol...so you can imagine how its gonna be for me after work...i was usually angry n frustrated. so yea i was driving home that fateful friday. I live around wuse zone 2 just opposite the Nitel Junction for some of you that know Abuja very well. so the traffic light holding back flashed green and i went past that Big Cross road just beside Big bites heading toward southern fries...then i was looking at the junction to my house..i was like oh Thank God.... finally, my misery is over not knowing that it wasn;t over yet..lol.. There was this Audi Q7 right infront of me trafficating right towards my junction and there was another Benz E-class right at my junction trying to come into the main road. Incase you dont know or probably you have forgotten..lol..No specific individual has the right of way in Naija.. its the fastest and smartest driver that has the right of way..lol..well as both of them were trying to out smart each other the E-class scratched the other dudes car...All of a sudden everybody just stopped the whole place was static for like 20 seconds...well, another lesson for you guys...in Nigeria, don't judge a person by his/her looks...the maddest of all mad people might come in a cool n posh guy's skin.lol.. so yea....Nobody moved we all wanted to see what was going to happen..lol..my energy suddenly came back to me and i was jumping with anxiety in my car...i could bet with my life that i was in for another live show..lol..i pulled my hand break and switched off the ignition waiting anxiously for what was going to happen. so after another 20 seconds everyone was still in their cars..lol..suddenly the door of the Audi Q7 opened...we all couldn't see who was in the car cuz the car was tinted black..so the door opened and a young n cool looking man came out. he was dressed in a grey suit and its obvious he was also coming from work. so he stepped out of his car and went infront of his car to check the damage. he stood there for about 10 seconds and shook his head....he went back into his car started it and reversed as if he wanted to let the other dude go....there was a look of disappointment on everyone's face...like is that it??...all of a sudden i heard a loud screech......and the next thing was GBOOOSAAAAAA!!!!!....lol....the Audi Q7 ran into the Benz.....he reversed again and ran into it again....he did it like 3 more time then finally he reversed parked his car beside the road locked it, went across the road stopped a cab and went away....like nobody could move..lol...it was wen a fly almost got into my mouth that i realized it was wide opened. i have never seen such madness in my life....lol..Crazy stuffs happen in Naija oo....well that is just by the way...lol...i am sure most of u are wondering who this new guy is..lol..just a quick introduction.... I am Sir' Otunba 'JesusFreak' Jb-m......The G-money of the whole of London town... That honor was conferred on me by Her Royal Majesty the Queen of England herself...lol....just kidding but yer i am a Jesus Freak....and if any tickle-brained barnacle is not happy with that, you can hit your head against the wall 10 times trust me, it works like magic....well i will be spitting some bitter truth which i know some of you will not be too happy with..I am a different kind of blogger..and you don't have to like me..in fact don't even like me, i function better when everyone hates me. Anyways this is just to launch myself into the TRUTH DON DIE Blog...subsequently i will be discussing some controversial but interesting issues. Well, that's it from me for now. you all should stay away from SIN cuz if you don't you will DIE and if you die you will go to HELL and if you go to hell...NA YOU SABI OOO.....PEACE!!

25 comments:

Azazel said...

Mehn Nigerians and drama lmao. Wish i had been there forreal.. The benz owner must have been dumbfounded..
Welcome to blogsville my guy

Bubbles said...

LMAOO!!!!
wow!!!
that is crazy!!!
loool!
gosh!
wow

Yinkuslolo said...

wow, such madness goes down only in Naija!

the audi guy may jus go and buy anoda car as for the benz owner, thats some serious gbese!

Otunba 'JesusFreak' Jb-M said...

loool....really crazy stuff..had to get used to a lot of stuff.

Neo said...

looking fwd to ur posts!

stuff like dis r the reason i miss Nig.

Azazel said...

I don't miss naija dat much o..
Those mosquitoes have set me on my way abeg.. Bloody insects

Tay-mee said...

Loool..haha I love Nigeria though!!

Myne Whitman said...

LWKMD.

Do these things really happen still? LOL

Azazel said...

Lol myne when was the last time u were in naija?

Original Mgbeke said...

LOL, what kind of warey was that? Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.
And errm this 'Jesus freak', you get as you be ooo but mmkay, we will watch this space. Welcome.

Otunba 'JesusFreak' Jb-M said...

LMAO @ Original Mgbeke....what do u mean by e get as i be....loool...

simeone said...

hold up guyzz..this blog dey get as e be o...who runz this place...
G-Money of the whole of london..congratulations on ze conferment...hope you dey rep for realz..?
o.k yes..people can be mad...there was one in abuja too..this dude was walking on the side walk..and some guy who probably didnt want to take a longer route decided to drive on the side walk..and drove till he got to behind the walking guy...hooted for him to leave the way when he was really close to him..and the walking guy ..looks round ..picks a stone..and smashes the wind shield with it..car driver was too shocked to react..guy walks.....
..off i go

Otunba 'JesusFreak' Jb-M said...

LMAO...hahahaha...that was hella funny....crazy ass people in that country...u gotta love em

EDJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EDJ said...

That is MESSED UP. But you know what people say.

Once you slightly damage the body of an Audi Q7:

If you are rich, its time to call your insurance so they can bring you a replacement car and fix the old one.

For the rest of us, its time for a visit to the body shop and a call to your insurance.

For the Nigerian in Nigeria, its time for a new car.

This is why I don't understand why ppl are still poor back there. Maybe they need some "Obamanomics" so they can "spread the wealth".

Enoch said...

Otunba

You r 1 funny dude.

Armed with a cellphone camera on 9ja roads, you can be an instant Spielberg.

You make me want to write about my escapades on 9ja roads.

TaioFierce Ameen said...

LWKMD!!!!! naija pple alwaiz amaze me.... buh d Audi guy may jst be a bad guy, he ll jst send his mechanic 2 cme nd pick up d car later...lol

Azazel said...

@ Simeone
Hahahahah wow and the thing with such ppl is that u don't know if they've had a bad day or not, and ur ass will go threre an start hootin behind them..
@ EDJ
so right @ for nigerians it's time to buy a new car

ttlolla said...

Where all the authors met one another i dont know

But i am loving it sha!!!

That audi owners swag is too much jo....money speaking (vengefull moron)
We might be similar , realistic xtians or maybe not......let me see ur postd first.

@azazel missed u on twitter o, be a gud nephew or i will tell ur momma

Miss FlyHigh - LondonsNaijaQueen said...

First time here ...welcome welcome...

is that story really true ? na wa o all my time in Naija and I have seen such drama ...people dey craze o!

Otunba 'JesusFreak' Jb-M said...

Miss FlyHigh....lol..not my first time here....this is just my first post sha...lol

Azazel said...

@ ttolla
One day we will tell the story of how we met..
One day lol

Mogaji said...

I shall be visiting naija for the winter holidays I hope to see madness like this everyday.

Otunba Jesus Freak welcome to the fray hope you can hold your own in the midst of it all.

miss.fab said...

Lol okay this was a little hard to read cuz of the uni-paragraph. Maybe you should split it up next time. But lmaooooo that was a hilarious story lol gatdemm mehn hahaha.

Welcome to Blogsville! I'm not quite sure why JesusFreak is in quotes... can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not lol but anyway we'll see

Reine D'Afrique said...

love your ending there...lol
you are going to be fun to read