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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Love and Other Drugs...

So a couple of weeks ago I came across this story about a man bathing his girlfriend with Acid. Apparently the man had been in a six year relationship with her and paid for her schooling from her 100 levels (guessing that is equivalent to freshman year) up until she finished. And of course apart from the college costs, he probaly gave her pocket money and other sums of cash for other "things". Well after 6 yrs and the girl getting her degree she decides to tell the guy that she was done with him. Well the guy did not take it lightly, he traveled from Enugu to Badagry, Lagos and poured acid on her. The guy said he was distraught after all the money he had spent on her and still said he would want to marry her even in her disfigured state.

Of course I totally disagree with what the guy did. Even though the girl basically used him for his money it gave him no right to do what he did. She didnt force him to spend all that money on her. When we do things for other people, they are in no obligation to repay us, it would be nice if they did but it is not a must. If you want something in return, draft a contract. I always laugh when people get in arguments with each other and someone starts listing all the things they did for the other person and how the other person did not reciprocate. My answer is always "Who sent you?". especially in a romantic relationship when people make sacrifices like give up friends, family, money, career plans etc. When the relationship fails and they start complaining my sentiment is "Who sent you?" When someone asks me for advice on a relationship decision, the first thing i say is that in a couple of years if the relationship fails just dont become bitter over the sacrifices you made. People make all sorts of irrational decisions because they are in love; when love fails, those irrational decisions get blamed on the other person. When you give dont expect that ish back.

Now as for the woman, I totally feel for her but I would be remissed if I didnt say there is some blame in her corner. Her actions in no way warranted the reaction she got from the guy but... You do not lead another human being on for 6 years while depleting him of his funds. Love is the most dangerous drug out there and people are at the most dangerous when their love has been taken for granted. When you allow a man to spend humongous amount of money on you like that, he will feel like he bought you and therefore owns you. That is basically how this guy acted. Females, do not let a man spend stupid amounts of money on you if you don't plan on marriage. Apart from it being unattractive to me, it avoids the dangerous concoction of love and money. These two drugs are dangerous on their own but when mixed, the synergistic effect is out of this world. We are all human, we all have emotions, thread lightly on them. You can not use someone and expect to go scot free, you do not know what someone is capapble of until they do it. Be careful! just because it is wrong does not mean someone will not do it when pushed, try not to push.

Stay Safe,

P.S. I am graduating from my undergraduate in approximately 14 hrs... YAY!!!

The story of the acid bathing incident can be found at


LadyNgo said...

I agree with you 100% on the topic.

Congrats on graduating :)

Unforgettable said...

Congratulations on graduating. But I don't agree oh! Abeg I feel the guy. The girl knew what she was doing and everybody knows that if you want to do a guy wayo like that, you should prepared for the acid. The guy even did it so that no one else would want to marry her and he could marry her. lol. but seriously, it's obvious that you shouldn't manipulate someone's feelings for you just to get money. If you do and you find out you don't like the guy again, that's your problem. You should have thought about that when he was paying your schoolfees. It's not as if she didn't know that he wanted to marry her.

El Divine said...

Ha! On point. Congrats man!!

Myne Whitman said...

Congrats on graduating o.

As to the story, who knows that she actually led him on? It could just be they grew apart, or quarelled or whatever ends relationships.

doll said...

i concur.

Meanwhile he guy seem obsessed, that is definitely not love

kitkat said...

I am always wary about accepting even the littlest of favors from guys cos those ones are nifty buggers. I also feel like she shouldnt have led him on and allowed him 2 spend so much money on her. ofcourse he'll be vexed when she tries to leave..duh!
If u dnt like a guy, make it chrystal clear to him. turn down his requests, plain simple. When u start to thaw to him and allow him to spend alot on u, he starts to get the wrong ideas.
Poor girl, now she has to deal with her disfigured skin..smh!

Realist said...

Thanks Everyone! And to Myne Whitman yea but it is so convenient that this "quarrel" it happened after she was done with college. lol

bob-ij said...

congrats on graduating. I graduate next month. can't wait. Really sad story. It's true that there is no obligation when a favour is done unless an agreement is reached. Th problem becomes the reaction of the party that feels cheated... oh well. I hope they are able to move on.


leggy said...

i agree with you 100%.

congratulations on graduating.

Realist said...

Thank you bob-ij and leggy.

@Bob-ij i bet you are counting the days until graduation lol