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Thursday, May 27, 2010

IT MIGHT BE BETTER TO BE LOVED FOR SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT



This blog was nominated for "Most Controversial Blog" at the Nigerian Blog awards, unbehalf of all the contributors on this blog. I say Thank you. Voting begins May 30th so stay tuned for that.

I use to proudly say that it was better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for somebody your not, and I remember a certain satisfaction that came from remembering that quote, especially after somebody who use to know me before, decided that the 'brand new azazel' was not worth having in their life. So the other day sha, my high school friend and I were chatting and so we started talking about deep stuffs. She told me that I had really changed, that she remembers that Azazel of the past was a good christian and cool dude. That back then when I was still in naija, that she even had hope for naija because she thought as long as people like me where around, Nigeria would be saved. She said she always planned to vote for me for Nigerian president and to also get people to vote for me. I then asked her, so would u vote for me now? She said she didn't know anymore, that she was doubtful. And well before I would normally *shrug* @ the entire statement and keep it moving but for some reason it just reminded me of when I was in Naija. A whole lot of parents use to tell their kids to emulate me, that I was a good young man blah blah blah blah. And to be honest those kids were cool kids and I use to teach them some biblical stuffs etc. My friend's statement to me really made me feel guilty and I started to wonder whether I had seriously gone off a cliff because I didn't understand why she would think me being a 'Questioner' was now tantamount to devil worshipping or something. How is it possible that somebody like me had gone from being a 'good example' for kids to being a 'horrible warning' for them?

I watched that show caalled 'What Chili wants' and this chili is a black woman who is searching for a good bf or hubby idk which one. Anywayz during one segment of the show, she had apparently found this one white dude she was feeling seriously. Until she asked this dude what his religious views were and when he said he was 'atheist' her face dropped so fast, she probably needed botox to fix it back up hiss.. That episode of the show made me so mad, not because she harbored prejudice towards atheist men but because her stupid ass had said that on national television. It is so hard for black atheists in yankee to admit that they are atheist within the black community, even some of the people who contribute to this blog wouldn't say they were atheist for fear of being ostracized and marginalized within their families or community. It just made me mad that because of what chili had said, black atheists out there would have to lie about their religious views just to impress a shallow babe like chili? And this idea that no atheist could possibly make a good hubby/bf is simply outrageous. How many socalled God fearing black men out there cheat constantly? How many of them beat up their partners? Let's say 70 percent of black women in the US were religious whether it be christian/islamic etc, I would venture to say about 90 percent of those 70 percent of black women are as shallow as Chili. Personally I am not an atheist, but I feel for every atheist brother out there who has had to hide their true nature because of shallow minded people like Chili.

This brings us to my central question, is it better to be loved for somebody your not?
Or would all of you prefer to be hated for who u are, than loved for who u are  not? 

26 comments:

Gee said...

first of all lemme laff
buhahahahhahahah!!
and this is at her needing botox to fix the face at the way it fell.

Then secondly its all about preference--if the woman doesnt want an atheist, she doesnt want one--she prolli has her own personal reasons for that--#gbam
Then to the main q of the post, definitely would rather be hated for who i am than be loved for hu i am not---Noone like hypocrisy naww.

But all the same--its better to be loved for hu u r--LOL--i know that wasnt an option--LOl

yayyy i think im first!

Azazel said...

Lol I get the part about it being her preference.. my point is this, she should not have said it on national tv..
It was such a prejudiced statement..

Formerly stealth reader said...

whoa whats with the chili bashing? what makes her so shallow ehn? because her face dropped, if the situation was reversed and chili was the atheist, only to realize her date is xtian and her face drops because she knows she wont be able to stand all his pro christ arguments that would surely come in the future, would you still call her shallow?
and why shouldnt she say it on national tv? she is keeping THE TRUTH ALIVE lol no pretenses
anyhoo.....i guess everyone would say they'd rather be hated for being themselves blah blah
now......what if everyone hates you for it? i mean everyone.

i say whatever gives you peace at the end of the day. i guess you should always be you.

azazel as a questioner it seems you are in the middle. right? pick a side already!

Azazel said...

Trust me Stealth..
IF the roles were reversed and she was atheist she would still be shallow in my eyes..
But Chili be shallow though, with or without her religious views..

Lol @ keeping the Truth Alive..
Hahaha but we here @ Truth Don Die are here to make sure the truth remains dead...

Realist said...

I feel you on this one. I was the good christian boy, the one parents told their kids to be like. I knew the bible back and forth. I still am the good ?christian? boy. christian is in question marks because some of my views wont be called christian by some people. While being the good boy, i always wanted to be the bad boy, but fear no let me, so i just consoled myself by befriending the bad ones.
Today i am still the good innocent boy, but my innocent is not naivety, i choose to be innocent, its no longer what someone told me to do. But years of training as helped make me "innocent".
But anyways the people who are usually "good example" of something, are the ones that usually have the ones with the biggest internal conflicts, because it always look like its the "bad" people that have all the fun.

As per the question, i rather be loved for who i am. If you love me for who i am not, then you cant really love me because i am at the stage of my life i really cant spend too long not being real to myself. I am the final judge on my character, and i am a very harsh one.

Azazel said...

Serious Gbosa @ Realist comment..
I feel u 100% @ Final judge of character and I can be very harsh..

Same here with me bro, I judge myself harsher than anyone around me can lol..
But I feel it, now u choose to be innocent, instead of being innocent to impress or meet people's expectations..
True, the people who are normally considered good are the ones who do everything within their power to maintain that image so they won't fail people. But once they decide to let go, people start to accuse them of acting brand new

LE DYNAMIQUE PROFESSEUR said...

While I am very must in support of being oneself such that people acquainted to one aint luving the who that is not one's... I still think it takes common sense not to be an atheist in this world.

On that note, its not the fear of being marginalized that scares the atheist from 'showing' himself, rather it is the guilt associated with them dispelling their commonsense in the first place.

I love the words of the scriptures when it said, "if you do good... you'd not feel condemn" (not in the exact words)... to me, that's the nail!

- LDP

Myne Whitman said...

Azazel, I read this post and my heart felt where you were. Like LDP I also do not think black atheists do not state their position out of fear of being condemned but also because they know deep down they condemn what they do not understand. If you are a questioner, state that plainly. Do not jump on the bandwagon because atheism seems fashionable. My SO is Agnostic and I am a firm believer, it has not been a problem for us yet, and if Chilli wants a Christian it is her choice too.

Myne Whitman said...

And yeah congrats on the nominations, I am permitted to say who I nominated?

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Enoch said...

Interesting question Mr questioner. I think, like many other things, the answer to that question depends on who is receiving the love.

If you are a questioner that recognizes the power of objective truth and you hold truth in such high esteem, I reckon you'll be disgusted by such unwholesome love. In this case it's better not to be loved

If you are a light headed romantic that walks with a lofty stride, you'll take any love you get. So what if it's for the wrong reasons?
In this case, it's better to be loved.

If you are an eternal pessimistic misanthropic cynic, you'll have no value for love tainted or pure. In this case being loved is inconsequential.

And then there's a fourth category for people like moi.



PS: By "better" I assume you mean in the subjective sense.



Nice post.

Sugarking said...

I know what you mean bruv, Its hard for people to actually comprehend that anyone could open their mouths and boldly attempt to say there is no God.

I recently posted a status update that went "Has anyone stopped to think why God and the devil can't seem to squash their beef? I mean the devil might be pig headed, granted, but God??" Come and see comments bros, from people asking whether I don't fear God to people accusing me of blasphemy.

But then I wasn't saying I don't believe in God anymore, but what's so wrong about asking questions about something that concerns a faith u've given ur whole life to believing?

It's this very quote by Thomas Jefferson, Former U.S President that just makes so much sentence


"Shake off all fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear"

#Gbam!

Azazel said...

Gbosa @ the quote from Sugarking..
That right there is my entire philosophy on life...
Jefferson had it right on that one

@ Enoch.
Very right @ I would be disgusted @ unwholesome love, I wouldn't be able to stand it and I would probably point it out the minute I felt it's unwholesome nature..

Educate me on teh 4th category bro

Realist said...

@ Le Dynamique Professor. The atheist feels guilty because they are dispelling their common sense? really?

From my understanding, it is the other way around. The atheist will probably feel that we that believe are dispelling our commonsense. By definition faith is counter to common sense. How can you believe in something you have not seen? Well you just ignore your common sense that says, if you can not see it, it doesnt exist.
Heck me, i feel like to follow a religion, certain parts of your common sense has to be ignored. I know for a fact that black people in particular are scared to be atheist, and when they cant fight it any longer they are scared to admit it because of the stigma.

The Messiah said...

Hmmm, Chili can't ever complain about someone being prejudice to her no more. But you question depends on one factor: Who? If you want to be hated by a close friend for being who you are, then so be it. Afterall, the last person you want to give a false identity to is a close friend. That being said, if it is someone you really don't give a shit about then they can love you for who you are not. And at LDP "if you do good, you don't feel condemned," answer this: When Germans hid Jews in their house to save them from persecution during the Nazi rule, would you say they didn't feel condemned by their society, and if yes, then did they do something bad?

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

FREEDOM OF SPEECH...lol!
that's why it's yankee

but all the same, to each his/her own

how na?

Azazel said...

Very good point @ Messiah..
I wonder how she will answer that.

Boss David..
I dey o, I was @ ur zones this past weekend.. How u been mehn? U dey twitter??

oroque said...

i just voted for you as most controversial blog on the 2010 Nigerian Blog Awards. Not because i realized that you were nominated, but because i already gave you that award a long time ago on my own blog and on facebook.

kepp doing you, man (or men or legion)...and invite me for the celebration party when you win.

Azazel said...

Thanks Oroque and I just found out that I won.. So thank u

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