I believe I was in my third year and it had been about a fortnight since I had convinced my then brand new chic to spread her legs on demand. On one of those unassuming fateful days of mint fresh sex, I had run out of condoms during a midnight session and she suggested I go skinny dipping. I chuckled and chucked it up to her finally finding her sense of caustic humor. However, when she persisted stubbornly, I thoroughly exorcised the thought from her head but that didn't stop the needle in my paranoid meter from going off the scales.The following day. After swearing my rommie; Mr. Photographic memory, to secrecy, I told him about the babe's insistence on going rubber-free, and developed several possible reasons and frightful scenarios. In his signature 'you paranoid little tot' manner, he gave the entire episode a gut wrenching laugh and offered no input but an anecdote about his friend Chukwudi.
Chukwudi was in a somewhat similar predicament. He had tried everything imaginable to get into Ms Uju's panties and had been unsuccessful. Out of the blue, on an unassuming fateful day much like mine. Ms. Uju shows up all eager and ready for some good old pelvic thrust.
You guessed it, Chukwudi had no condoms. He searched in all the suspect places but couldn't find any. Ms Uju, perhaps from the same ignoramus-clan as my chic, signaled that she was ok with a naked penis. But like me, Chukwudi wasn't cool with that. He asked Ms Uju to give him a minute while he ran to the pharmacy to purchase a pack but Uju was having none of that. She motions to leave. In that moment -where opportunity met desperation- Chukwudi did what he has always done in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. In this case, a sexual conquest afoot about to go awry. He buckles his knees and though I can't remember his exact words as they were related to me, but if memory serves me right, the gist of the prayer went something along these lines.
Lord Jesus your are the alpha and the Omega
The begining and the end
Jehovah Jireh, Rafa, Nissi
Please lord hear my prayer
I know that I am but a fragile sinner
And deserve no favors
I know fornication is a sin
But we both know that I am fragile
Please lord BLESS THIS ENDEAVOR
And forbid the devil from exploiting it to do me harm
Chukwudi then proceeded to have some unprotected sezzual action.
Coming from anyone else I would have called BS on this story. Mr Photographic memory, however, very much like Abraham Lincoln, is famous for telling no fibs (except, of course, to females). Add that to the mind bending experience of actually meeting quite a few of his 'profoundly odd' friends.
I know some of you might scream "Holy Fuck!" (lol) at the prospect of divine contraception/vaccination especially for fornication. But when you think about it, how is it any different from a foot soldier in an empire expansion war praying for God to sanction his evil and preserve his life? Or a mother praying that her raped daughter's abortion go smoothly? Or a father praying for death to befall a stranger with the right profile so that his kid can have an organ donor for his desperately needed heart transplant. Since I got acquainted with Chukwudi's story, I like to think of such prayers that have a similar motive of seeking divine blessing for sumrin sinful as 'latex prayers.'
So I guess my question today is... 'Latex prayers', Are they any good? Are they sinful? Or are they an effective substitute for a 'condom?' More interestingly, what would it take for you to offer a 'Latex prayer?' (dying loved ones are usually a good visual aid in such exercises)
PS: For the visually challenged, the pic is a rendition of Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam" painting. Only that in this case, God is handing over a condom. Sombori scream 'how very apt!'
