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Monday, January 24, 2011

A Separate Peace




I remember having to read this book in the 9th grade, I unlike everyone else loved it. When I came to a decision this Sunday as one of my best friends was preaching at church the title of the book came to my mind.

Well he was preaching instead of the regular pastor as he regularly does when the pastor cant for some reason. I for once wasn’t fighting sleep…lol I looked around and saw the resoluteness and sincerity in his face and then saw the bliss in the audience’s face and I came to this conclusion: I rather have the peace of faith than the constant consternation and upheaval in the quest for the “truth”.

It might be folly to some but I personally am tired of “searching”. Life was better when I did not question if there was a God and what religion did he endorse. Life was better when I was a Christian. People can spend their whole life searching and they still will not find. There might not even be a “truth” out there to find. We would have spent our whole lives searching for something that might not be there to be found.

I don’t know what is right, but right now I don’t care. I have long since come to see blind faith as folly; maybe it is folly but our lives as humans are in a perpetual state of folly. We are here on earth acting out a script we don’t know who the writer is and what their motive is. Our lives are so insignificant when we look at it. It is almost like there is no reason for our existence, maybe there isn’t but I rather act like I am important enough that someone took the time to plan my existence. Maybe this is when faith comes in, when you realize you will never know, you just have to believe in something that has all the answers. I came to find faith as a cop out, as someone giving up on rationality.

So I have made a “Separate Peace” with my quest for the “truth”. The “peace” is that I accept I will never know so I rather save myself the trouble of searching. So I officially give up.

Back to the book, I remember us laughing at the book and insinuating George and Finny were homosexual lovers. This brings me to my one quandary with “giving up”, and that is homosexuality. I believe they are born that way and I cannot understand why “God” will make people outcasts for the way he created them. That alone is stopping me for reaching a full “peace”. Every time I go down this route it always leads to me having to start my own religion that totally fits me.

I feel I might have gone too far on my quest that I cannot just “give up”. I have questioned too much. But I will try valiantly to give up. Lol. I might have to change my name to the Ex-Realist. lol

18 comments:

Beautiful said...

This is the beginning of greater things....heyyyy! haha, m still in shock!

El Divine said...

Woah...i dont know how to react to this. Realistically, you just now started to be a realist. Ur quest for absolute truth was an ideal. So, think well maybe you need to answer Real Realist now

Azazel said...

Hmm LOL.
So people should have Faith simply because they are tired of searching for the truth?

The people of Jamestown had faith in Jim Jones preaching, look where it got them?

U say ur friend had the look of absolute bliss on his face. But what does that prove?
Ignorance is blissful to? So would you also choose to be ignorant, because it is blissful?

At the end I am not worried because at the end, men like u and I simply do not give up and decide to subscribe to 'mumu united'.
I have tried doing what u said, but ur inner mind will rebel against you at the end.

MsB said...

This is awesome , for some unknown reason I suddenly became curious because I was hearing so many conflicting things but like you, am getting tired of searching.
Maybe that's the whole point of searching, discovering what faith really means and sticking to the basis of Christianity ( which for me is love , hope and faith in God).

@Azazel, I don't think he subscribing to mumu united or wanting to be blissfully ignorant. If he is like me then he just wants that peace from completely believing in something he feels/ knows is right but have been sold to him the wrong way

Okay am beginning to yarn rubbish

Realist said...

like i told Azazel, i felt sad while typing this blogpost, it was like i was losing a part of me. I expected to feel better...lol

@Beautiful i hope it is indeed the beginning of greater things.

@El Divine i find it hard to believe that believing in the unseen is equivalent to being a realist...lol but maybe the unseen is what is actually real?

@MsB i love the "he just wants that peace from completely believing in something he feels/ knows is right but have been sold to him the wrong way ". That is exactly how i feel.

@Azazel i dont think there is much more i can say that i havent already said to you...lol But like you said "At the end I am not worried because at the end, men like u and I simply do not give up and decide to subscribe to 'mumu united'.
I have tried doing what u said, but ur inner mind will rebel against you at the end." lol It already started happening at bible study today...

Nutty J. said...

haha...what will I not see up in here?

I thank God for you Realist...now you are being realistic.

As for Azazel...I wont be surprised when he follows suit.

PS: Homos werent born that way...they gave themself up to a reprobate mind. Dont blame God for how they turned out...all God did was give us free will.

leggy said...

this is how i feel this year realist.
i totally agree. last year was a HORRIBLE year for me.
im tired of searching, of doubting, sometimes just believing is good enough.
yeah, people may claim that its ignorance but ignorance is bliss.
this was an awesome post.

bob-ij said...

Oh wow! I think is a very insightful post. I may be a fool...but I'll rather be a fool for faith! Love this...

~x~

Realist said...

lol its amazing when you are going through things or having an issue you cant resolve, you think you are the only one in the world that has ever gone through it or is going through it. I didnt expect anyone to understand where i was coming from but i amazed at people who have gone through what i am going through or who are going through it at the same time.

Azazel said...

Truth Don Die indeed

Realist said...

hahahhaha @Azazel very fitting comment

The Messiah said...

Oh boy, this is sad. I'm almost speechless right now. Anyways Realist, hope you enjoy your truthless peace (isn't that an oxymoron?)

The Messiah said...

But what's even worse is how the people on this blog are applauding your acceptance of ignorance. This is truly depressing.

El Divine said...

Realist, I didnt mean ur a realist now bcos u believe in God. I say ur a realist now bcos you have accepted life 'as it is' not as you wish it to be. We wish life to be full of rationality and in reality, it isnt.
Personally, I am a full Christian and a full skeptic. After all, Thomas questioned the veracity of Christ's resurrection. Guess the only disciple that touched the resurrected Christ. And am entirely comfortable doing that. No one said truth seeking was going to be easy. Truth is, idealists look for what they seek hard as it is. Realists kinda take the easy way out. Tongue, count teeth. Am out.

Realist said...

El Divine, your comments in some weird way have helped me be more at "peace" (i know how much Azazel loves that word lol). I never really thought that christianity and skepticism could coexist peacefully but i am open to that now. Because frankly it is my nature to question everything so i dont think i can stop that.

@Messiah lol funny thing is that i totally understand where you are coming from

Azazel said...

A truthless peace.

El Divine maybe u are right, realist as accepted life as it is, not as it should be.
There is a difference between accepting life as it is and settling for life as it is.
I would like to think that people like us understand the realities of life. But we are not willing to 'SETTLE' for the realities of life.
Because we are not settlers, we refuse to settle. That is why when we have doubts concerning issues, we express them not because they make us popular. But because we know that failure to express our doubts will lead to our minds being tormented by the questions when we are alone.

Nutty J. said...

Hmmm...Oyibo repete

Clarke said...

this is how i feel this year realist. i totally agree. last year was a HORRIBLE year for me. im tired of searching, of doubting, sometimes just believing is good enough. yeah, people may claim that its ignorance but ignorance is bliss. this was an awesome post.