Love and Other Drugs...

So a couple of weeks ago I came across this story about a man bathing his girlfriend with Acid. Apparently the man had been in a six year relationship with her and paid for her schooling from her 100 levels (guessing that is equivalent to freshman year) up until she finished. And of course apart from the college costs, he probaly gave her pocket money and other sums of cash for other "things". Well after 6 yrs and the girl getting her degree she decides to tell the guy that she was done with him. Well the guy did not take it lightly, he traveled from Enugu to Badagry, Lagos and poured acid on her. The guy said he was distraught after all the money he had spent on her and still said he would want to marry her even in her disfigured state.

Of course I totally disagree with what the guy did. Even though the girl basically used him for his money it gave him no right to do what he did. She didnt force him to spend all that money on her. When we do things for other people, they are in no obligation to repay us, it would be nice if they did but it is not a must. If you want something in return, draft a contract. I always laugh when people get in arguments with each other and someone starts listing all the things they did for the other person and how the other person did not reciprocate. My answer is always "Who sent you?". especially in a romantic relationship when people make sacrifices like give up friends, family, money, career plans etc. When the relationship fails and they start complaining my sentiment is "Who sent you?" When someone asks me for advice on a relationship decision, the first thing i say is that in a couple of years if the relationship fails just dont become bitter over the sacrifices you made. People make all sorts of irrational decisions because they are in love; when love fails, those irrational decisions get blamed on the other person. When you give dont expect that ish back.

Now as for the woman, I totally feel for her but I would be remissed if I didnt say there is some blame in her corner. Her actions in no way warranted the reaction she got from the guy but... You do not lead another human being on for 6 years while depleting him of his funds. Love is the most dangerous drug out there and people are at the most dangerous when their love has been taken for granted. When you allow a man to spend humongous amount of money on you like that, he will feel like he bought you and therefore owns you. That is basically how this guy acted. Females, do not let a man spend stupid amounts of money on you if you don't plan on marriage. Apart from it being unattractive to me, it avoids the dangerous concoction of love and money. These two drugs are dangerous on their own but when mixed, the synergistic effect is out of this world. We are all human, we all have emotions, thread lightly on them. You can not use someone and expect to go scot free, you do not know what someone is capapble of until they do it. Be careful! just because it is wrong does not mean someone will not do it when pushed, try not to push.

Stay Safe,
Realist

P.S. I am graduating from my undergraduate in approximately 14 hrs... YAY!!!

The story of the acid bathing incident can be found at http://newnigerianpolitics.com/2011/03/06/man-bathes-girlfriend-with-acid-pleads-frustration/?calendar=2011-02

Shortage of Good Men: The Solution

So all i hear from females around me, is that there are few good black men left. That is the conclusion that all relationship events i attend come to. There are a host of reasons why this is so but i will not bore you with something you have already heard. My people, i come to you with a solution. A REAL solution... Get excited

There is such a short supply of good black men. In order for the maximum fulfillment of black women it is essential that for the supply to meet the demand, good black men have to make an immense sacrifice and share their God given talents with at least 3 women. This selfless act is solely for the satisfaction of our women. Like the bible says, "It is better to give than to receive". Examples of this are in the bible. David was such a good man that God blessed him with over 8 wives and multiple concubines. Do you know why David was a man after God's heart? Because he was willing to make such a great sacrifice to the good women who could not find other good men. When Baatsheba was with a man beneath her caliber. What did David do? He mercifully killed him and rewarded Baatsheba with a crown. Dont you want to be like David? Lets not even talk about the most selfless man in the bible, Solomon. There is a reason why he is known to be the wisest man to ever live.

As a woman, It would be very selfish for a you to keep a good man to yourself when your sisters are spending the their lives searching for something that you have. Is it only you God created to be happy? Be your sisters keeper; look at the statistics, not even half of you will find happiness if you all decide to be selfish. If you pursue your selfish desires it will lead to these women who did not win the man lottery to come and try and still your prize. If you just agree to share your prize, you wont have to deal with the home wrecker headache. The bible says "Do unto others, as you want done to you". Dont you want to be happy? Then allow for your friend to be happy, stop being an enemy of happiness. If you allow this too happen, happiness will increase, and as we all know, happiness and Crime have an inverse relationship.

In this arrangement, everyone is happy. A woman can have the pleasure of the company of a good man, and the good man can stop hearing the nagging of the women talking about the shortage of men. Like i have always said, all of life's burning questions can be found in the bible, all you have to do is have an imaginative mind... i mean the holy spirit. Praise Jesus!!!

-This has been another REAL solutions, brought to you by THE REALIST through the divine inspiration of you know who.(will not say the name before thunder strike as i type).

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

People always say I love someone so much that I can die for them. Ummm No. Personally i no fit do am. Can not happen. To lay down your life for another, your life must be majorly sucking at that moment. What kind of self esteem problem is that? Your life is not what living, but some other individual's life is more important? Just tell the truth, you have been looking for a way to die, and you chose the "honorable" way. Why should I push someone out of the way of a car, and I stand there like a mugu as the car hits me? If I cant save you and save myself, then I will be alongside Azazel eating rice at your funeral, screaming "why God, why, why him/her?"

Life should be cherished, loved, not thrown away like a used rag. So if God has deemed that it is your time to go, who am I to fight his divine will? I am nothing but a mere mortal. Death is coming for someone and I then open my big mouth to say "not him/her", "pick me", because my existence as it is now is not worth anything, If you dont take me now, na suicide go happen. Love each other as you love yourself, If i dont love myself enough to not throw it away, Imaging what i can do with my neighbor's life. Suicide is suicide, lets call it what it is, it is not love it is suicide.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. More like "Lower self esteem hath no man than this, that a man throw his life away for his friend".

Wetin una think?

IT MIGHT BE BETTER TO BE LOVED FOR SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT

This blog was nominated for "Most Controversial Blog" at the Nigerian Blog awards, unbehalf of all the contributors on this blog. I say Thank you. Voting begins May 30th so stay tuned for that.

I use to proudly say that it was better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for somebody your not, and I remember a certain satisfaction that came from remembering that quote, especially after somebody who use to know me before, decided that the 'brand new azazel' was not worth having in their life. So the other day sha, my high school friend and I were chatting and so we started talking about deep stuffs. She told me that I had really changed, that she remembers that Azazel of the past was a good christian and cool dude. That back then when I was still in naija, that she even had hope for naija because she thought as long as people like me where around, Nigeria would be saved. She said she always planned to vote for me for Nigerian president and to also get people to vote for me. I then asked her, so would u vote for me now? She said she didn't know anymore, that she was doubtful. And well before I would normally *shrug* @ the entire statement and keep it moving but for some reason it just reminded me of when I was in Naija. A whole lot of parents use to tell their kids to emulate me, that I was a good young man blah blah blah blah. And to be honest those kids were cool kids and I use to teach them some biblical stuffs etc. My friend's statement to me really made me feel guilty and I started to wonder whether I had seriously gone off a cliff because I didn't understand why she would think me being a 'Questioner' was now tantamount to devil worshipping or something. How is it possible that somebody like me had gone from being a 'good example' for kids to being a 'horrible warning' for them?

I watched that show caalled 'What Chili wants' and this chili is a black woman who is searching for a good bf or hubby idk which one. Anywayz during one segment of the show, she had apparently found this one white dude she was feeling seriously. Until she asked this dude what his religious views were and when he said he was 'atheist' her face dropped so fast, she probably needed botox to fix it back up hiss.. That episode of the show made me so mad, not because she harbored prejudice towards atheist men but because her stupid ass had said that on national television. It is so hard for black atheists in yankee to admit that they are atheist within the black community, even some of the people who contribute to this blog wouldn't say they were atheist for fear of being ostracized and marginalized within their families or community. It just made me mad that because of what chili had said, black atheists out there would have to lie about their religious views just to impress a shallow babe like chili? And this idea that no atheist could possibly make a good hubby/bf is simply outrageous. How many socalled God fearing black men out there cheat constantly? How many of them beat up their partners? Let's say 70 percent of black women in the US were religious whether it be christian/islamic etc, I would venture to say about 90 percent of those 70 percent of black women are as shallow as Chili. Personally I am not an atheist, but I feel for every atheist brother out there who has had to hide their true nature because of shallow minded people like Chili.

This brings us to my central question, is it better to be loved for somebody your not?
Or would all of you prefer to be hated for who u are, than loved for who u are  not? 

My Beliefs, My Experience, and Setting the Record Straight..

                                                 

Well, hello. I thought I would take an opportunity to introduce myself. I am Controversy's cousin, but as you will soon notice he and I disagree on a lot things, especially religion. I'm glad to be joining this site as a proud, Born-Again, non-denominational Christian. I am not stupid, I am not brainwashed, I am not uneducated (I am getting a double-major in Biology and Creative Writing, Pre-Med. Yes, I want to be an OB/GYN after medical school, and if that grosses you out, well, someone has to do it, right?). I am a fundamentalist when it comes to the Bible, and I am always up for a good discussion of actual, Biblical text... but when it comes to personal beliefs, honestly I won't waste my breath fighting because there is nothing to talk about between me and a potential opponent unless that person also beleives that the Bible is the Truth and God's Word.

When I was younger, being a Christian was something that was a part of me mainly because of my mother, and the fact that it made me feel good. But when I went through my first year of college, I was on my own and little by little I began to compromise the standards that I'd always secretly wanted to break. I didn't drink, do drugs, or have sex (proud virgin talking), but I did end up in a relationship that I shouldn't have been in, and when I broke out of that relationship, I went through a very hard time. It wasn't exactly depression, but it was very close to it. I felt so lost and so bereft and so raw with pain... I had never felt that kind of loss before. Sure, I broke up with him at my mother's request because she saw the change in my character and she knew I needed to get back on track. But I really liked him and even though I knew he was bad for me, we had really good times together and the attraction between us was so strong...

It would take so much more than this blog post to describe how lost I felt. It was at this time that I rediscovered my connection with Jesus. Before you click away to another blog post, hear me out. I repented to God for turning away from Him and I began to pray and read my Bible again. I read the Psalms over and over, because my self-worth was so low and I needed to be reminded of how God loves me. It didn't happen overnight, nor in a week, nor a month (it took time for me to break myself down, it would take time for me to build myself up), but God gave me the strenght to go through the day-to-day and one day I woke up and I was over my ex. Basically, over weeks and weeks of prayer and dedication, I discovered the goodness of God for myself without my parents' help, and I realized that I truly couldn't live without Him. The peace and the joy that I feel daily is overwhelming, and I wasn't feeling like this when I was disconnected from my Maker.

I need to take a break here and stress to you people: if you are curious/doubtful about God, ASK HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU! Do NOT rely on what OTHER people think. I'm not bashing the other writers on this blog, but you should view this blog as what it is: a gathering of opinions. Why don't you try crying out to God and ask Him to show himself to you?

That would have been a perfect place to end, wouldn't it? But I'm not finished :) A very wonderful young man by the name of Controversy asked me a question about Christianity that I couldn't answer at the time, and I felt very bad, because it was a very smart and valid question. He asked me over Skype, "If God is so good, then why did He command the Israelites to destroy the inhabitants of many towns as they marched toward the Promised Land?" Well, I'm going to throw a lot of information at you all in a short time, so hold on to your office chairs.

Basically, the Bible says that "God is the same yesterday, today, and forever." This means that the same love that He has now is the same love He had back then in the New Testament. The problem with most people is that their view of God is warped. IF God is love, and if He is PERFECT as the Bible says, then He must equally hate. God does NOT hate his creations. He hates the things that destroy his people, like sin and wickedness---the people that God ordered the Israelites (who were his chosen people) to destroy, were people who were dedicated to sin, wickedness, and false gods; God did not want these people to lead the Israelites astray and lead them to destruction! On the flip side, you also read in the Bible what happened when Israel failed to carry out God's instructions. The tribes that worshiped false gods attacked Israel. NOT because God was punishing them, but because by sinning, the Israelites removed themselves from God's protection.

In conclusion, Controversy is right that God is love, but the thing is that God is also holy, so holy that He cannot be around sin. Just because a lot of people have venom towards the Most High God doesn't make Him any less of what the Bible tells us He is.

And that's all for now folks :) I'm gonna do a follow-up post on this later. Time for bed...