I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MYSELF....

For the first time in a longest time I can remember, I have had to censor myself. And well I've always dreaded the day where I would have to censor my thought, not my speech. It's easy for mostly every human being to censor their speech but when it comes to censoring thought that's a totally different level for me. (I swear I feel so guilty that I've not blog runs in a whole week, to say that I've been busy would be an understatement, make una forgive me o. Am doing blogrounds right now though)

I can't share what happened because well that's just the situation, but what I've learnt today really opened my eyes to something. My blog name truly deserves it's name, truth don die indeed. Blogsville peeps I have a question for all of you, lets say a lot of people believe in something that brings them happiness/inspiration but that  belief is not based in truth but in half lies/full lies is it OK to challenge it or even try to criticize it seeing as it brings a whole lot of joy and happiness to people? What do you think?

In my school I got a job and the nature of my job means that I get to advocate social justice, promote diversity and encourage empathy among everybody. Basically in that job there is a lot of political correctness that is expected from the employees at this place. I did not realise till today that just because of that job, I now have to watch what I say, how I think and even the questions I ask. All of you know that I love asking questions and sometimes I tend to ask a lot of probing questions. Now in my job I am suppose to 'bring people together' and 'alleviate tension' but I've started observing somethings. Some of the people that work there would rather sacrifice 'free thought' just so as everyone/everybody is appeased and I've been asking myself is it really worth it? They preach political correctness but I feel that they should start preaching 'Political honesty'. Has anybody heard that song by Gavin Degraw? It's called 'I don't want to be' that's honestly how I feel right now. If this job I got is going to make me be one of those people who would prefer sweeping issues under the rug just for the purpose of illegitimate peace then my heart is never going to be fully into the job. Because at this job, I get to put on workshops and host forums and I am the kind of person when I speak about something I can usually tell when people feel like I am speaking from the heart, but if I do not believe in what am doing then people are going to view me as phony.

Well I don't know if this post makes sense but this whole thing is really saddening me because I've observed it among adults that as they grow older or as they become older people find it harder to maintain their principles. I mean somepeople still hold on to a few of them in private but majority of people I believe when faced with either 'money from a job' over their 'principles' will choose the money. Somepeople then start to say that wisdom comes with age, but I tend to disagree. Most people don't become wise as they age they become weary, they start to question whether it is worth the effort to actually 'ask questions'. And in the back of my mind I always knew that the day would come when I would censor myself from asking a question because I either feared physical harm to myself or I feared being cut off from financial support. And I know deep down that if I ever sink to low that I become so scared to ask questions that I feel are necessary for my progress as a human being, life would not be worth living for me ever. `Blogsville peeps I am really sorry for taking sometime to update, but I have been busy with school and a couple of other things. I never thought I would see the day when I would get tired of blogging but truth be told I really am falling out of love with blogging. *sigh*.

But back to my topic sha, I am the kind of person if I find out that I have truly offended someone I am quick to apologise if I am in the wrong. Sometimes when I ask questions of people's beliefs they accuse me of disrespecting their beliefs and I wonder. Is it possible to disrespect a person's beliefs by asking tomany questions?

But I have a question to all the ladies on blogsville, see I am assuming that all of you are ladies o, not vagabonds lol. But can someone please explain to me why some women after discovering that their fiance/boyfriend/husband has been cheating on them go confront the lady that the husband has been cheating on them on through mediums such as 'texting/phone/facebook/email'. Why would you bother sending facebook messages to the woman he's cheating on you on? When you can confront him and him alone? This is just something I've never understood about certain women.

EVERY PERSON DESERVES TO HAVE THEIR HEART BROKEN.

I sincerely believe that every person at least once in their lifetime should have their heart broken, preferably before they turn 21. And I believe it is one's duty as a friend to ensure that that happens before they turn 21 and i shall tell you why lol. So basically most of us have that naive friend whether girl or guy who we feel do not know squat about relationships or about men or women. And sometimes the things that come out from the mouths of these people leave us seriously stupefied. (naive babes are mostly from (17 - 20)


Anywayz make I yarn una the story which I 'overheard from the grapevine'. This one 'naive' girl apparently asks a friend of a dude she was interested in 'What kind of guy' the dude was. Well this friend then says that he does not dish on friends and asks her to go talk to the dude in question, the girl then says she's talked to the dude but she wants to know what 'kind' of guy he is? Whether he is a good or bad guy?
Well now this is where I pause, what does this babe mean by 'good or bad'?? A guy might not be good in a relationship sense but he might be awesome in every other thing and the same goes for vice versa so how does one decide whether a guy is a good guy? or a bad guy? 
So this naive girl apparently likes this 'guy' who by the way is a player and ish, so should the male friend advice her to go for the guy or not go?? 


Personally I think he should tell her to give the guy a chance, because if she doesn't get played now she will get played later, and I believe that it is better to be played as a girl when you are young than when you are above 21 because it shatters you more when you are older in my opinion. As I said earlier, I believe every person should have their heart broken at least once, in this society people are taught to flee from 'pain' and there are a lot of drugs out there which help us escape from the pain. I think am beginning to ramble but I feel that this quote right here correctly exemplifies what I am trying to convey : People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. "


Where it says 'you feel your strength in the experience of pain' is what speaks to me most.
So basically I would advice the male friend of the girl to let her go through with the guy, do not advice her that the dude is going to be bad for her, afterall the girl has to learn sometime abi? It is better in my opinion for her to learn sooner rather than later. 


What do you guys think? Please blogsville no vex if my blogpost is all over the place, I was seriously pre-occupied while writing this. But I want to know your thoughts on the issue.

Should Africans be offended by the word "Nigger?" And should African Americans be offended by the word "Nigga?"

I've been noticing a certain trend going around most of my Naija friends on facebook: They keep posting and sending this video on their walls (here's the link to the vid http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEiA83fWF-k). And after I watched it I thought to myself, "I understand the African American perspective of that word to an extent, but wetin concern these Nigerians?" The African American people in the video have a right to be offended by the word 'nigger,' because that was an insulting word used against their ancestors, but this isn't the case for these Nigerians. Keep in mind these are the same people who call their African American companions "akata." Isn't that hypocricy? They don't like black people using the "n" word but they're more than willing to insult their own race by calling them "akata." Fuckerey. But looking at this topic from a broader perspective, the "n" word most black people often communicate with today is different from that used in the slave days and the segregation era. First of all, the words are spelled differently: Nigger/Niggers and Nigga/Niggas (or sometimes Niggaz). Secondly, they have two entirely (almost antonymous) definitions: Nigger is a racial slur to demean and insult a black person while Nigga is a urban term used to regard someone in a non-derogatory manner like dude, or buddy. Yet regardless of contradictory definition and different spelling, people still confuse both to mean the same thing and get offended by the non-offensive of the two (nigga) which makes no sense. If they want to get offended because Nigga is close in spelling to Nigger, then why don't they get mad at the word Niger? And since Nigeria is actually formed by adding the two words "Niger" and "area," why don't they kuku get offended at the country sef. The funny thing is they ironically do the same bullshit they get mad at. The same people who don't say "Nigga" because it's offensive say words like "dawg" instead. Now if I used their own logic, I should also be offended by someone saying, "Whaddup dawg?" Afterall, "dawg" sounds like "dog" even though it's spelled differently and has a different definition. Using that same illogical logic some black people use, I'd be mad because by someone saying the "d" word, they're calling a human being a four-legged animal that is often domesticated in the house and used for labor or leisure purposes without getting paid (sorta describes a house slave doesn't it?) So if they want to get mad at people saying "nigga," then I think it's only right that they use the same dumb logic when people say "dawg."

A more specific example of this huge contradiction is the "brother/brotha" difference. We all know what "brother" means (Just in-case you don't, it means a masculine sibling), but "brotha" has a different definition to it. Brotha doesn't mean sibling, it doesn't even mean relative, it's a respectful regard to describe a black male. Brother is kind of a possessive noun (ie "my brother, your brother," "her brother" etc), while brotha is a generalized noun used for black males (ie "This is a brotha," "He sounds like a brotha"). As a matter of fact, I had an recent experience to prove the validity of my contrast of the two words. A couple of days back, I was playing online poker when a guy with a picture of a Wayne Rooney jersey joined the table. I complimented him on his picture and got into a football discussion with him. He asked me where I was from, and I said "Nigeria," he then replied, "ah a nigerian brotha lol." Now if I were to substitute brother for brotha in that response, I probably would have had to correct him saying something like, "um Nigerian isn't my brother, in fact it isn't a person, it's a nation." But no. He didn't mean the same thing as brother, he meant brotha (as in "black guy"). But do you see how stupid I'd have sounded if I confused both word. Yes, just as stupid as some people who make that same mistake with nigger/nigga. The same analogy could be used in the sister/sista terminology btw. There are many things that sound alike and have similar spellings that don't mean the same thing, hell, there are some words with the same spelling that have different meaning: Trick/trick- one definition is a cause an illusion to fool, another urban definition is one that like to spend money on women, bitch /bitch- one definition is a female dog, another is either a promiscuous woman or a female asshole (asshole as in heartless idiot not anus). There are so many things in the English language that have different meaning and are the same word, or have different spelling and mean the same thing ( ie blond/blonde). In fact, the English language is filled with paradoxes like for instance the pronunciations of rhyming words like "no, go, so, and yo," have similar endings with the "o" sound regardless of changing the the consonants in front, but yet in certain words like "do and to," the same logic was applied but yet the pronunciation changed from "o" to "u." That's the English language, it's insane and filled with paradoxes, and to make matter worse, slangs and ebonics confuse definitions even more. So I can understand if you don't get the nigger/nigga difference, just take an English class and maybe just maybe, you'd be fine.

Look, the truth is, these are just words. You shouldn't get offended by words, instead you should be offended by the motives behind them. For instance, if a rapper who says "nigger," says it primarily and knowingly to only insult his ancestors then it makes sense to be mad at that fact, but if the rapper says it to regard his compadres (ie "Shout out to my nigga 50") without any reference or implication to slavery then why get angry? So if I say "I have a bitch," to announce that I just purchased a female German Shepherd dog, should all the women get offended because I said the same word used to demean feminism or should they acknowledge the fact that my usage of "bitch" isn't to insult but to regard a female dog? I hope they choose the latter.

Let me simplify it for y'all, it's not the word that you should be offended by, it's the implication of it. It's what language is really all about; the communication of ideas and feelings, and words are just tools of language. And if you're still offended by the usage of "nigga," then I have two words for you my friend: Nigga, please.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT I AM A WHORE??

Lol blogsville peeps, one more post until we hit 100 and I think the 100th post is going to be Messiah's post. So get ready to see it later in the week. So this post of mine is a follow up to my last post and it involves a funny scenario I came upon.


Now my last post dealt with whether you as a female should tell the girlfriend of a male friend of yours whether or not your male friend is cheating on her. Now lets talk about it from a different perspective. What about a babe who is sleeping with a guy who she thinks is single but happens to be in a relationship. She later finds out that he is in a relationship and she confronts the 'best friend' of the guy who she thought had her back and would let her know if the guy was cheating on her. So before I go on, this story is completely fictional and I shall be one of the characters in this story lol.  So 'Mugu' will stand for the girl who was hurt by the cheating dude, Player will stand for the dude who played the 'Mugu' and Azazel will stand for the best friend.


So anywayz Mugu finds out that Player had been lying to her all this while and that player had had a girlfriend all this while right? So Mugu then confronts Azazel and asks Azazel 'How come you never told me that 'Player' had a girlfriend?, Azazel wonders why Mugu would expect him to tell her that 'Player' has a girlfriend? Since when do people voluntarily go up to people and let people know that other people have girlfriends or boyfriends biko nu?? Anywayz Mugu continues with the interrogation and then says to Azazel 'I thought that we were cool, why did you never even tell me that Player had a girlfriend? and was playing me? Azazel tells her that he did not know that she did not know that 'Player' had a girlfriend. Mugu then tells Azazel that she has been sleeping with Player and that she had asked 'Player' if he had a girlfriend and Player had said 'maybe or maybe not'. Azazel then asks Mugu how could he have known that she did not know that 'Player' had a girlfriend afterall it's not like she would be the first or last girl who had slept with a man who was in a relationship or marriage. Mugu then asks the question of the year infact the question of the CENTURY by asking Azazel this lovely question, 'Are you saying that I am a whore? Seeing as Azazel is a lovely sort of guy Azazel responds by saying 'No o me ke say that you are a whore? Impossicant how can you be a whore? (in my head) - Of cause you are a whore, what else could you be? A saint? Idiot
That brings me to the end of this little story so now I proceed to ask this question to my blogsville people.


So obviously this babe does not consider herself a whore, no female likes to be labelled a whore, it's like a taboo word or something. Idk why. Anywayz, can you imagine the 'cheek' of this babe. First of all she says that 'Player' told her that 'maybe or maybe not' he had a girlfriend. So she asked him if he had a girlfriend and Player gave her such an answer, red flags did not go off in her head then?? As in some babes willfully fall into a delusion created by themselves and when everything goes kaput they start looking for people to blame. Can you imagine this babe asking Azazel whether he was saying that she was a whore? No before what are you? Mother Theresa? What do you call such a babe self? Somebody provide me with a name.


In a holy world, husband and wife would be the only people allowed to have sex without it being frowned upon, but seeing as we humans failed to obey that holy rule we have cut slack to include boyfriends and girlfriends into that mix abi. Now when a girl sleeps repeatedly with a guy who is not her 'boyfriend' and later finds out that he did have a girlfriend and then expects you to treat her like 'Mother Theresa' that in my holy opinion is TRIFLING.


Because let us examine this further, she expected Azazel to come let her know that Player had a girlfriend, but why is Azazel obligated to do such a thing? I mean if your sleeping with the guy when he is not your boyfriend, your 'moral compass' is obviously not something to write home about. So what happens if indeed you knew that 'Player' had a girlfriend and I came to tell you and found out that you knew. My view of you would turn negative immediately, and you would feel hella awkward so why exactly would I want to put my lovely self through that much wahala?

Blame it!

Jay-z is a member of the Illuminati and part of a plan to occultically (is that a word?) influence the world. At least, that is what the conspiracy theorists will have me believe. Personally, I dont give a flying fuck about that, Jayz is the only reason I listen to rap and whatever he wants to do with his free time is his problem.

Anyway, I was just listening to his Black Album track, Lucifer. My interest was piqued with his last line "blame it on the son of the morning!" That line blazed in my head and quietly I began to think those thoughts that make the reverend father cringe in confession. Thoughts like "how many of the ills blamed on satan are actually his fault and how many are the results of our own human weakness?" I am all too familiar with the human tendency to look for a scape goat for our failings, after all I do it myself. Anytime Im confronted with a massive wrongdoing, the intial reaction is to find a way to make the offense seem less offensive, you catch me? And if I cant succeed, then I begin to mentally search for any point when someone else had the remotest involvement in that act so that even if I cannot pin it all on him, then at least he can take some of the heat. Hey, dont judge me...Im human

Im just saying, what if Lucifer had nothing to do with sin in human beings? If you look at the way our sinful nature is CONVENIENTLY blamed on Lucifer, making us helpless offenders who need to be saved from our actions...I dont know about y'all but its a little TOO convenient. We can fold our hands and "blame it on the son of the morning". That is one thing I like about the emerging world view that places our character and actions firmly on our shoulders. Believe it or not, there was a time when if you blamed a crime you commited on "demonic possession" you would walk free. If you doubt it ask medieval europeans whenever you are privileged to go to the gr8 beyond. These days of course, that excuse is not even utterable unless you want to an appointment with the shrink in addition to ur sentence. Point is, if God had used the same principle for adam, mayb just mayb, the bible would have turned out differently or at least,snakes will still walk with their legs.

This incident reminded me of something that happened when I was much younger. I happend to hold the position of black sheep in my family, which is not fun even though it has its advantages. Anyway, I was rebellious, impulsive, reclusive and all big words used to describe a bad boy. Personally, I knew my problem was that my home was too restrictive, but my mum's friend who owned a fellowship/ministry managed to convince her that I was "acting under influence". thats a euphemism for I was possessed! Hilariuos right, I mean I dint curse, steal, kick , fight or foam at the mouth when holy water came by. I was just disobedient and reclusive...kinda like how many million kids at that age. Anyway, they decided to hold special prayer for me lol. When whatever demon they were casting out apparently stayed put (cos I dint change one bit) they decided on the most ludicrous thing I heard. My name is Eke which tentatively means nature, and in ibo its the same spelling for python but not the same pronounciation. Well, the woman said my name invoked the "power of the serpent" as she termed it and that my parents needed to change my name to Paul for me to be finally free......hahaha. I told her I was already having David as an English name and that it obviously dint help matters. After all, David was closer to God's heart than paul and so shouldve been more effective. Needless to say, no one changed nothing, but the funny thing was that whenever my parents (no, my mum cos my dad dint see any thing wrong with me) complained about my behavior, I was kwik to remind her that it wasnt my fault, na una name me python name. LOL....now that I am a grown, fairly good kid and still answering my beloved Eke, I wonder whose responsible for the change. Of course, it had always been MOI.

Next time people want to hurry to "blame it on the son of the morning" please think again. Hes not that guilty.

WHY YOU DEY VEX??? IS IT YOUR MONEY????

This blog was started in September of last year and now we almost have a 100 followers. One more person to go and we get it to 100, moreover there are about 5 most posts to go and we make it to our 100th post. I would be lying if I said that I have not lost my blogging mojo, am just not feeling it anymore. I don't blog from my heart anymore, maybe it's because my blog personality has been seriously compromised... But let me not bore you all with such nonsense.

Yesterday, my professor joked about how we could solve the unemployment issue in the U.S by having all the women go back to being housewives, and letting the men take the jobs that these women had taken from them. I laughed so hard I almost bust a rib, that dude had a serious point. What do you all think??

Nothing irritates me more than when I go to a forum concerning black/African issues and some black feminists stand up and start to complain about 'black successful men' who marry white women. I've always wanted to tell them 'Why you dey vex?? Is it your money??' ahn ahn if it's not your money why are you then complaining. Please to those women out there in blogsville who have been unfortunate to be part of these 'complainers', black successful men are not obligated to marry black women and in return black successful women are not obligated to marry black men.

I was saying that women who know about a 'current' male friend of theirs who's cheating on his girlfriend/wife but have not told the gf/wife  should never ever open their mouths and follow their fellow women in criticising men. I know a lot of females who know very well that a male friend of theirs is cheating but they never do anything to either berate him or inform the girlfriend. I feel that if you know that a male friend of yours is cheating on his partner but you never say anything, you become an accomplice to that 'cheating'.. It's almost like witnessing a rape without calling 911 and when the rapist is now caught you follow others in condemning him/her. Totally ridiculous.

Fb status -The wives of men who cheat, have agendas. They stay for a myriad of reasons. Do not assume stupidity is one of them. Now I do not know about the girlfriends of men who cheat, because me no see any reason why they choose to stay? Afterall if you are not married you are 'single'. So yes I feel that it is right to assume that such females are 'stupid'.


Fb status -Two things in my opinion dat are unacceptable in a relationship.Bf nd gf quarelling and the gf's mother calls bf 2 ask why her daughter is crying = ULTIMATE FUCKEREY. Bf and gf quarrelling and bf's mother calls gf 2 ask why her son is crying= EPIC FUCKEREY. Totally unacceptable.Handle ur private/personal bizness without family interference.

Would you?

So I woke up early this morning, at 7. I normally wake up at 10:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays and every other day it will be a surprise if I wake up before 1:30 pm… leaving the life…lol Anyways what else can I do this morning but type a blog???? Nothing

I have been having this convo with my Christian friends, it has been very interesting. I asked if your child is gay and wants to get married, would you be at the wedding? Yea you can imagine the reactions. I personally said I would be at the wedding front and center. It felt weird because all the guys said they would not and the girls said they would, that left me in the too familiar position on being on the “feminine” side of an argument…lol My personal take on it is almost like my take for homosexuality. People spend their whole life trying to be happy, if my child has found happiness in a same sex partner, I will be very happy for him. I have seen and heard how much people will do just to be happy, I’ll be damned if I deny my child that. Yea its against my religion and whatnot, but I think everything in life including religion should be a tool for the individual to achieve happiness, if your religion is not aiding you in happiness, you might want to change it. I believe in doing whatever you feel makes you happy and whatever you feel makes you more of yourself as long as you don’t hurt anyone. Anyways I just want to hear y’alls opinions.

BLOGSVILLE CITIZENS - WHAT IS YOUR PERFECT UTOPIA???

Howdy blogsville. How are you all doing? This blog use to be consistent but this days it's almost one blog a week. I've been busy and so have all the other contributors.

So today in class my professor asked me if there was one thing I could wish for in order to make the world perfect what would it be? I was at a serious loss for words, because I was thinking about this thing and anything I thought about immediately was cast aside by some other bigger thing I assumed was better to make the world perfect.
So now am asking all you blogsville peeps, what is that one thing and everybody is limited to just 'one' wish. If you could wish for something that could make the world a more perfect/better place what would it be???

Now to my next point, these days I am finding myself believing more and more in gender equality and I am absolutely for women's rights etc. But sometimes even the women that claim that they are for gender equality do not want it to go far enough in terms of the responsibilities women would now have to participate in. For example, my african feminist friends usually flinch when I tell them that gender equality entails that they be willing to 'propose to a man for marriage, pay for the bride-price, and financially sponsor the 'wedding'. Now the thing with this gender equality thing is that I believe if women truly want to be equal, they can't ask for just the parts that they like and then shun the other parts that they do not want.

Now I was reading 'The ones who walk away' by Ursula Leguin and this woman is truly brilliant. So the gist of the book is this, there is a city called Ormela and this is one 'perfect' city and it is happy and absolutely beautiful. The perfection/happiness of this city however depends on the misery of a malnourished child who is locked down in a basement, who does all the cleaning and all the dirty work. This child is like 10 years old and he lives in abject poverty, he can't speak any language as he has been locked down in the basement ever since he was three years old. This child is just treated absolutely badly, now the whole happiness of the city is possible because that child bears all the misery.
Her question was this, what action should be taken? Should the child continue to suffer so all the people may be happy and perfect? Should the child be given the same equality as the rest? If it is, then the perfection of the city ceases to exist and we would have sacrificed greater joy, just for the joy of the little kid. This is a very terrible terrible paradox and I have been racking my brain trying to come up with something, but alas, I have fallen short so i decided to bring it to my wise blogsville peeps. What would you guys do?? Especially if you think about it in the terms of the world being 'perfect' and all that perfection depending on one ethnic group working in slave conditions day and night, living in misery and suffering. Would you be willing to make that sacrifice in order to achieve the maximum happiness??

This was what I put up on my facebook status and I was wondering if I could get any help with an answer to it.

"One of the ten commandments says 'Thou shalt not Kill'.Most people usually interpret it as Thou shalt not kill unless for 'self-defense' in times of war, or personal safety.Even though the good lord himself never gave those elaborations.My question however is this,does the executioner or does the person who executes a criminal sentenced to the death penalty in prison disobey God's commandment? Is such a person going to go to hell or is he/she xcused as well?"