I sincerely believe that every person at least once in their lifetime should have their heart broken, preferably before they turn 21. And I believe it is one's duty as a friend to ensure that that happens before they turn 21 and i shall tell you why lol. So basically most of us have that naive friend whether girl or guy who we feel do not know squat about relationships or about men or women. And sometimes the things that come out from the mouths of these people leave us seriously stupefied. (naive babes are mostly from (17 - 20)
Anywayz make I yarn una the story which I 'overheard from the grapevine'. This one 'naive' girl apparently asks a friend of a dude she was interested in 'What kind of guy' the dude was. Well this friend then says that he does not dish on friends and asks her to go talk to the dude in question, the girl then says she's talked to the dude but she wants to know what 'kind' of guy he is? Whether he is a good or bad guy?
Well now this is where I pause, what does this babe mean by 'good or bad'?? A guy might not be good in a relationship sense but he might be awesome in every other thing and the same goes for vice versa so how does one decide whether a guy is a good guy? or a bad guy?
So this naive girl apparently likes this 'guy' who by the way is a player and ish, so should the male friend advice her to go for the guy or not go??
Personally I think he should tell her to give the guy a chance, because if she doesn't get played now she will get played later, and I believe that it is better to be played as a girl when you are young than when you are above 21 because it shatters you more when you are older in my opinion. As I said earlier, I believe every person should have their heart broken at least once, in this society people are taught to flee from 'pain' and there are a lot of drugs out there which help us escape from the pain. I think am beginning to ramble but I feel that this quote right here correctly exemplifies what I am trying to convey : People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. "
Where it says 'you feel your strength in the experience of pain' is what speaks to me most.
So basically I would advice the male friend of the girl to let her go through with the guy, do not advice her that the dude is going to be bad for her, afterall the girl has to learn sometime abi? It is better in my opinion for her to learn sooner rather than later.
What do you guys think? Please blogsville no vex if my blogpost is all over the place, I was seriously pre-occupied while writing this. But I want to know your thoughts on the issue.
31 comments:
In a way only you can make it, it makes sense. I just don't think someone should knowingly lead someone to pain, its one thing to know and decide to not say anything and like your friend did tell them to ask the dude themselves, its another to blatantly say yes he is awesome now go ye forth and date(and ultimately get heartbroken)
Looks like i am screwed, i am already 21 and have not had my heart broken, heck i have yet to be in a relationship.
I see what you are saying, but as usual you have a way of going to extremes. Just from personal experience, i can remember how naive and gullible i was... but just me observing and living vicariously through my friends(lol) i have lost that naivety, i stopped being "ideal" and started being "real".
But based on your scenario, it depends on who i was closer to. If i was closer to the girl, i would let her be informed of what she is getting into. I think it would be wrong as a friend to let a friend walk into fire. If i was closer to the dude, i would tell the girl to ask other people because i have a bias. If the guy is a player i doubt only me and him will know that.
Lol @
Go ye forth and get heartbroken..
That's one way to look @ it Taynement..
But what is wrong with knowlinly leading one into pain? If that pain makes a warrior out of the person??
Ah but Realist
If that fire is meant to make your friend come out shining and have more sense... Ur duty is to wait till they work outside of the fire with a bucket of cold water to splash on them.
But the fire could burn my friend. People react to different thins in different ways. Fire that might just give you a first degree burn could destroy someone else
Obviously not all ur friends will come out unscathed.
But that's where collateral damage comes in.
Azazel u r just too much!!! These ur theories ehn!!! And I don't know how u almost manage to have something for me to read here after everytime I've been smoking!!
ideally, anyone will keep their friend out of fire. but come on, the world out there is a fire dance, a lil rehearsal never hurt no one. i say let her get vaccinated wt a lil heartbreak
yeah I totally agree with you on this post every one deserves to get their heart broken.Experience is the best teacher but I don't think you should lead someone to get their heart broken either.
lol...well, by your theory, im seriously running out of time shey?
I wouldn't use "heart broken" I'd say, awakened. U can wake up without getting ur heart broken. Just like u can realize that fire burns without being burnt by fire.
lol. yeah i agree to that o. heartbreaks shapes u up and gives u a berra idea for the future. lol. it's berra b4 21 also cuz after 21.............. the pain is more.
hmmm
does this include the guys
cops everyone seems to be going toward female,
do u think every male should get his herat broken before 21
or the titlle of ur post is suppose to be everygirl deserves to get her heart broken....
i doont agree at all oh.
i love the part of ur post about pain, i agree with that but that not a reason to lead a person knowingly to heart break....
love really does hurt, but its also wonderful...
Your theory is valid. It's even more valid when she's led to the heartbreaker by a friend. That way, there's the devil you know/angel you don't know factor.
After the trial by fire, subsequent heartbreak is more likely to be avoided, though not guaranteed.
Anyone in need of a heartbreaker, hola.
I agree with TayneMent that it shouldn't be the "friend" leading this girl to the "fire". I do not think people need to get "burned" to learn. I have never had my heart broken, I am over 21, and if you read my blog, nobody would call me "naive" by any stretch of the imagination.
Knowing all that, if a "friend" tried to lead me to "fire" because they have made a decision (like some cosmic being) on my life, this friend would only be alienating me when I find out that they knowingly wanted me to "burn".
Not everyone needs to get burned to learn that fire is hot, and you cannot make this kind of decision for another person.
Leggy yes u are running out of time lol, HURRY!!!
EDJ I still see no prob with leading ur friend into the abyss and waiting outside for them to come out. Obviously there are always the exceptions and I leave those exceptions to your own discretion...
Messiah I like the awakened part of your commente
BBB obviously it includes guys, one can easily note that men who tu nout to be players were usually heartbroken @ a younger age...
hmmm, k..
some still actually pass through life and are never gifted with this pain called heartbreak..
Lol then such people must have lived a miserable life..
heartbreak doesn't have to come from relationships it can come from a number of things..
Lol that last anonymous person is so silly about "anyone in need of a heartbreaker hola" hehehehe.
Well well well...
*sigh* my opinions on this topic are so messed up.
I know I try to avoid relationships though - so I resolve to "flings" :)
But I think I have felt pain. Heck you feel pain everytime.
When you get slightly rejected.
When you're loving in silence - you feel pain maybe because you can see the person you like mere talking to someone else.
It's not genuine pain but your chest/heart kinda hurts.
Ramble but I hope you get?
Oh and is pain and heartbreak the same because some people can feel pain and call it heartbreak :/
*sigh* see my Gbagaun.
My life oh.
@Azazel,
"EDJ I still see no prob with leading ur friend into the abyss and waiting outside for them to come out."
LMAO...remind me never to ask your help with any "relationship" stuff.
God punish all of you, you are just angry that you have had heartbreak and want blessed people like me to join your pain, BACK TO SENDER...lol
But yea like Moyo said, loving in silence is heartbreak enough...lol but then again i think loving in silence is a form of naivety.
But if a friend leads me to heartbreak, he/she might just have destroyed our friendship, he/she aint God, they do not know "best". H
Lol forreal though
I can't believe I actually agree with you. I had my heart broken for the first time at 25, the pain was indescribable especially because I found out that the guy set out to break my heart. I kept wondering why one would wake up and say am going to screw this girl over....(Naive, I know)
the point is that whether we like it or not hearts will get broken at least once. it part of being human u have to experience all the emotions eg crying, laughter, sadness, joy etc however my point is that i would rather not be a party to it if i could stop it i would
Oh no! I disagree with your opinion oh! Although pain is good and everyone has to go through it, if pain can be avoided, then avoid it. I mean, if a child is about to touch boiling water and they are not looking, won't you warn them. If the child does not listen, then let em be hurt to teach em a lesson.
Hmm I still disagree with the three of u above
I'll go with the saying that wise people learn from the mistakes of others. Just because you haven't had your heart broken doesn't mean you're naive. Also, some who have been brokenhearted still are naive about relationships. It's more about learning and I think it can occur though heartbreak but it's not the only way.
Suru, i completely I agree with you
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