ABORTION/SEX ED

Yo wat up blogsville? Long time no speak yo! Don’t worry, daddy’s back and he has something important to say to you. Yes daddy is about to have “the talk” with you, so sit down, relax and read because shit’s about to get real. Before we get into preventive measures and contraceptives, we gonna talk about abortion first. Of course this is assbackwards as fuck, but that’s just how daddy rolls so listen up kids.

I’m pro-life. And because of my stance on abortion, most of my liberal colleagues heavily criticize and argue against my philosophy, but most of their logic is flawed. One of my friends that I always meet at Starbucks once asked “Well I know you’re irreligious, so what moral ground do you have for being pro-life?” The question kinda made me smile. I guess we all need a religious authority/institution to give us a moral compass on life; we can’t just use common sense and logic to work that out for us. Anyways, where are some of the arguments I hear quite often from the pro-choosers.


• It’s not a human, yet: The argument is that after conception the baby becomes “human” and is now entitled to universal humanitarian rights but a fetus inside the womb of its mother isn’t simply because it hasn’t “developed.” So in other words, outside the womb = human, inside the womb = sub-human (simply because it has passed a certain “stage” in life), and somehow this is supposed to make sense. In order to show the absurdity of the argument, let’s apply the same logic to a different example: Killing a 24 year old should be considered as murder, whereas, killing a 24 week old shouldn’t, because the 24 year old has a personality, independent , has a state ID, and college degree and the 24 week old doesn’t even have pubes nor can he/she walk on his/her own so therefore, killing the baby shouldn’t be seen as murder for the baby isn’t much of a human anyway. You see how that sounds, well that’s how it sounds like when pro-choosers say shit like “the fetus isn’t fully developed yet to be considered a human.” For fuck sake, life is evolutionary, it goes through stages of development, reaches a prime, and from there goes through stages of decay. This is how the human evolutionary life chart looks like

Fetus- Baby- Toddler- Kid- Teen - Young Adult- Adult- Mid-Lifer- Senior

Every stage has its big moment before progress; Fetus become babies after they’re conceived, babies become toddlers after they gain limb strength and can walk, toddlers become kids after they pass the potty-training, kids become teens after puberty, teens become young adults after adolescence, young adults become adults after independence, adults become mid-lifers after a mid-life crisis (menopause etc.), mid-lifers become seniors when they go back to the stage of dependency. The abrupt end of the evolutionary process of life is death, and if the end is caused by another human being, it’s murder. Whether it’s stopping the kid from reaching the teenage, or a fetus from reaching the baby stage, it is all murder, plain and simple.

• If you’re pro-life, then you must be against capital punishment: Both are mutually exclusive. Are you really comparing killing innocent babies to killing guilty criminals? One deserves it and the other doesn’t. If you still can’t comprehend that then I can’t argue any further with you.

• A woman should be able to do what she wants with her body: True, but not so much when another life is at stake. Again, one only needs to apply the same logic to a different scenario to see how much sense it makes. If a woman is holding a baby and gently it with her arms and suddenly she decides to fling her arms upward, propelling the baby to be airborne and without an effort to catch the baby, allows the baby to fall on the hard concrete, shattering it’s fragile skull and causing it to die in mere seconds. Can this woman’s excuse for that heinous act be “a woman should be able to do what she wants with her body?” Think about that every time you hear that argument.

• Rape and Incest pregnancy: To be honest, this is a pretty tough one. When dealing with rape, instead of killing the baby, kill the rapist. Make rapist die the most horrid deaths imaginable, like crucifying them upside-down while unleashing a dozen ruthless, South-American bullet-ants on their scrotum. The baby is just as much of a victim as the raped woman; they both didn’t ask for what happened to them. Don’t make the baby more of a victim by killing it. If the baby is that much of a reminder of the wrong that was done to you, then send it to an adoption center. At least give the poor thing life, who knows, that rape baby may be future president of your country.

• If conceiving the baby can kill mother: This is where I’m 100% pro-choice. We are instinctual creatures, and we want to survive, so if another is trying to kill you, you have the right to self-defense at the cost the attempting murderer.



Most of all, I’m against abortion because it’s an irresponsible way of reacting to irresponsible sex. I mean we’ve all heard the phrase “Drink responsibly,” how bout “Fuck responsibly?” kids don’t hear that enough. It’s funny how parents don’t talk much about sex with their children, when that’s exactly how they got their children. Their kids ask them, “Where/how are babies made?” and instead of their parents to be responsible intellectuals, they tell their kids some bullshit fairy tale stories and then get disappointed when that kid at age 15 tells them she’s pregnant. And the sex ed in school is a fucking joke; all they do is put a condom on a cucumber and then tell you abstinence is the key. How enlightening! And this is where I come, to educate you poor young minds and prevent the dangers of irresponsible sex while giving you the best sex tips. So let’s begin Sex Ed 101 with Messiah.

First of all, sex is like driving; the one thing they’ll tell you in driving school is that driving is a privilege not a right, same rule applies for sex. But you are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of pussy. Sex, just like driving, is a skill which can be improved. Just like driving, sex is mainly about controlling the vehicle until reaching destination (cloud 9), however, unlike driving, sex is very physical (think of it as a sport) and requires a lot of muscular endurance/strength in the glutes, abs, lower back, and PC muscles (this is for both male and female btw). So when you’re at the gym, don’t be like those guys who work on their biceps and chest all day and forget the muscles that really count. Also just like driving, sex is a dangerous act that risks life-altering events. This is where protection and safe fucking come to play. In today’s world, there are so many ways to ensure safe fucking; birth patches, birth control pills, condoms, diaphragms, and if want extremes, there are vasectomies, penectomies, hysterectomies etc. You’re young, the point of sex is fun not to have kids, and using these methods of contraceptives will ensure just that. However, my favorite of all of them is a condom. Condoms do something other contraceptives don’t; kill two birds with one stone. Condoms not only prevent unwanted pregnancies, they prevent you from catching STDs as well. Of course, you might have heard some idiot rant about how condoms aren’t effective or that his shit busted and blah blah blah. When shit like that happens, there are three explanations; 1, he didn’t put in on correctly (this is why Sex Ed classes fail, cucumber and penises don’t have the same surface texture), 2, he bought a condom from 99cents store called Fantasy, and 3, all the above. If you wanna buy a condom, make sure you see a Trojan label on it or else go to a different store and buy it. Trojan condoms are lifesavers wrapped around your penis. I know this by personal experience, and because I know a couple who’ve been going out for 5 years and fuck like rabbits. He (the boyfriend) tells me he never fucks her unless he puts on his Mag (sounds almost like “swag” doesn’t it?) and till today they’ve been practicing fun, safe sex. Another thing to note is that, having a condom is mandatory for both sexes, don’t be that bitch who thinks it’s the man’s responsibility to have a condom, lemme tell you this kids, that’s how you get AIDS. Check this story out:

Chidinma, a beautiful Nigerian babe was at a club chillin’ at the bar trying to get a drink, when a handsome Hispanic man about 246 pounds, 6’ 2” dark masculine eyes, approaches with a warm and charming smile and asks “Can I buy you a drink?” Chidinma replied with a welcoming smile, “Sure.” “My name is Marco” he said “ what’s yours?” She told him, and then he said “Oh, you must be Nigerian, Ibo?” She replied enthusiastically surprised “Yes!” “Kedu” he said, “Odinma” she replied, almost smiling from ear-to-ear. And just like that a convo struck up, and Nigeria/Naija culture seemed to be the main topic. Then as the ice was completely broken, humor began to show up. They began interacting culturally and forming a new dialect/language called “Espanigbo” where phrases like “Nne, como estas?” were greetings. They danced, they laughed, they talked and one convo led to another and the topic of palmwine came up. Marco said “I’d love to go to your country and drink some of the palmwine, but since you’re in my territory why not taste my own version of palmwine?” He turned to the bartender and said “Two Jose Cuervos.” Little did Chidinma know she was falling right into his Mexican trap, although they ordered the same amount she ended up drinking more than twice of what Marco consumed and was getting a lil’ drunk. It was then Marco went for the kill “You’re too drunk to drive home, why don’t I drop you off?” at this point she didn’t care, she was head-over-heels for this Mexican guy, so off they went. Marco, being a seasoned veteran in the game, had everything planned out on how to get into a female’s panties, even how the ride home should be. Marco is the type of guy who listens to sombrero amigo type of music, but tonight he has Rihanna playing in high volume and a drunk chic singing to the lyrics. He picked the music in perfect order: What’s My Name, Rude boy, So Hard. So first it was “Oh na na what’s my name?” then “come here rude boy boy can you get it up?” then “I’m so hard!” This guy was sending more subliminal messages than the Illuminati and Disney Movies combined. The subliminal messages worked, cuz now they’re home and she’s horny. To the bedroom they go, and moments later Marco is hitting it from the back as she screams “Querido papi, harder. Mi culo es su culo!” Holy shit, since when did she start speaking Spanish? Since she started drinking Jose Cuervos, it’s been proving by science by a research lab of randomshitology that the more Jose Cuervos you drink the better your Spanish. Anyways, long story short, they fucked the night away, Marco was gone the next morning and Chidinma started feeling pain when urinating. She saw a doctor and found out she has both gonorrhea and full blown AIDS. Chidinma always thought it was the man’s responsibility to have a condom and not hers.
Well kids, the moral of the story is: Fuck responsibly. Sorry for the extra long post, but a long departure deserves a long return. Enlighten friends, kids, your kids about this post so together we can have an abortion-free world where people fuck responsibly. I’m Messiah and thanks for reading. Goodnight

Still looking for a Role Model?

So People who know me and and know something about football(soccer) know that my favorite player of all time is the Great Ryan Giggs. So I have been getting calls and twitter comments asking about how I feel about the recent news reports of him not being the model citizen everyone thought he was. Apparently the dude was not only cheating on his wife but he was also messing with his younger brother's wife for over 8 years. The guy was cheating on the person he was cheating with #BADGUY!!! People can get over the infidelity but the extra cheating with the brother's wife just made people turn the once role model into the scum of the earth.

My response to it, so??? I long since stopped looking up to people I have not ever met as role models. Just because they are famous or sucessful does not mean they are anything but human. If we look at ourselves we fail daily so why do we expect these stars to be superhuman. Have no faith in man because man will fail you. So if you are looking up to athletes or musicians or actors to show you how to live your life then be sure to be disappointed, again and again and again. Everyone has skeletons, the difference is how good we hide them. All have fallen and come short of the glory of God, not just normal people or poor people but ALL.

As a through and through Manchester United and Ryan Giggs fan: I say well if that was what he needed to do to be schooling guys half his age on the field, then go on Ryan do what you do. So my response to all those calls and tweets, is I did not become a fanatic for Ryan Giggs the individual, but for Ryan Giggs the football player. I can care less if he is married, I dont even care if he exists outside of those 90 minutes I am cheering him on. Even Ryan Giggs can not stop me from liking Ryan Giggs. He can go on a mass killing spree but nothing can take away that moment in the 99 FA cup semifinal replay, when Patrick Viera decided to pass the ball to him and he raped the Arsenal midfield and defense and scored that wonderful game winning goal and removed his shirt and showed his hairy chest while running around the field lol. That moment will always be burned in my mind.



No matter what he will retire a LEGEND, no matter what he will be labeled as one of the best club players EVER!!! The world is lucky that England had the stupid "Grandparent rule" (now changed) that barred him from playing for England. If not, 98 or 02 world cup might have been lifted by English hands.

Moral of the story: Do not put your faith in famous people because like you, they are human.

WHAT I WOULD TELL MY KIDS

So I've been MIA for a little bit, been busy with a whole host of things. I've been meaning to blog about this topic which concentrates on what I wish my parents would have told me as a child and what I've found out as an adult. I made up my mind that if I ever had kids, I would keep it real with them and tell them the truth about situations as much as possible. No lies.

1. First of all I would tell my kids that Life is severely complicated. Morality is not always black and white, there is a lot of gray in between. I would tell my kids that role models are human beings first and foremost and to never place tomuch faith in any man or woman, because human beings disappoint.

2. When it came to matters of religion, I would tell my kids that up until they turned 18 they would adhere to what ever religion was practiced at my household but once they turned 18 they would be free to pursue any religion they wished to pursue.

3. I would tell my kids about the concept of death and what it meant for the lives they intended to live. That Death is a permanent fixture in human life.

4. Concerning matters of the heart, I would tell my son that if he found a woman worth losing his self respect for, that would be the woman he should be with. And to my daughter, I would advice her that no man was worth losing her self respect for.

5. I would advice my kids to focus more on their character than on their reputations. A lot of nigerian parents focus more on the reputation of their kids than with their character, they are constantly processing things through the prism of how it would affect their family name. Most nigerian parents have figured that it is easier to have a bad conscience than to have a bad reputation. I would tell my kids to stay true to themselves no matter what and even when they made mistakes, they should still hold their heads high.

6. I would tell my kids that humility is a good trait but there is a bad kind of humility. There is a modesty that is based on what people think about you and that is the worst type of humility a person can have. Somepeople are modest because they realize it would be good for "appearances", when in their heart of hearts they have the ego of a giant. I would tell them to watch out for that kind of humility and only to display humility if it came from the heart.

7. I would warn my kids about the influence of "appearances" in the world. Things and people are not always what they seem/appear to be. Few people would rise to their esteem upon closer scrutiny. A lot of people are fooled by appearances and I would tell them to beware of falling for appearances.

8. Growing up as a Kid, everybody played that game in which we were all asked "what we wanted to be when we grew up"? At that time, we all gave answers to those questions with our hopes high and shit LOL. Our parents never told us about the sacrifices one would have to make in order to achieve those dreams, they never told us we might have to betray our friends/principles just to get that promotion or just to get in through the door. They never tell us we might have to tell a lie or two just to pad our resumes, they left those important details out.

9. I would tell my kids that human beings are extremely fickle. They'll love you today and turn against you tomorrow, they will fade with the wind so be careful putting their faith in the masses. They are easily easily swayed, so never be bothered when they don't hold you in high esteem, because one action on your part can sway them in the opposite direction.

10. I would encourage my kids to always work on improving their flaws but never run away from admitting them because of shame. I would tell my kids that "shame" is one of the main causes of human misery in this world. The things people will do just to avoid shame is actually shameful, no pun intended. Accept your flaws, embrace them and if they can be changed, change them, if not.. *shrugs*

11. I would instill in my kids the value of a sense of humor. They should never stop laughing even in times of sorrow and pain, laughter heals all.

12. I would tell my kids that the easiest thing in the world to do is to be you. The most difficult thing is to be what other people want you to be. Don't let anybody put you in a position where you can't be you.

I can only think of these twelve things for now, if I remember more I'll update the post. Please Share with me, what you would like to tell your own kids if and when you have yours.

Restitution

Definition of RESTITUTION

1: an act of restoring or a condition of being restored: as  

a : a restoration of something to its rightful owner  

b : a making good of or giving an equivalent for some injury

 

2: a legal action serving to cause restoration of a previous state 

 

 

 

 

There has to be some higher form of retribution. That can't be it. You can't tell me that after a life of murdering people, if a person prays 1 minute before he dies that God will forgive him and let him into heaven? #Stopit!! I like to believe if there is a God that he's certainly not that stupid. He can't be. What?? Doesn't he have to avenge the death of the harmed souls? Isn't that why they say "Leave vengeance for the Lord?"

You can't tell me that after a person kills my family, I leave him to go Scot free because I believe the Lord will avenge it and then I die and see him in Heaven enjoying the same things I'm enjoying. Don't play with my emotions like that.

Please, there has to be more to forgiveness than that. The only reason I'm writing this is because my cousin just had sex with this girl, kicked her out at 11.30 PM and proceeded to drive 5 minutes to a church for night vigil to get atonement for his sins before 12 am. Many people seem to have this same idea about the May 21st rapture scare.. This is why I believe that can't be it. That can't be all God requires to let people into heaven.

We all know I'm not Christian but I want to believe for you people who are Christian sake, that the God you serve is not stupid. There has to be more to it. 

I also don't want to believe that people who lie white lies like "I'm a natural blond" and coldblooded murderers are going to the same hell. Hell gats to have levels. This is my belief and opinion. If there is a hell, there gats to be levels. White liars gats to have air condition at least or hand fan. They can't receive the same punishment. It just can't be.

I'm just going to put this out there plain and simple if, and only IF all that is required for forgiveness is a one minute prayer and everyone goes to the same hell, then your God and religion is stupid. But that's a topic for another day isn't it? End of rant.

Vanity xx

I've missed you guys btw. Back one day and it feels great.
It's a beautiful day

Love and Other Drugs...

So a couple of weeks ago I came across this story about a man bathing his girlfriend with Acid. Apparently the man had been in a six year relationship with her and paid for her schooling from her 100 levels (guessing that is equivalent to freshman year) up until she finished. And of course apart from the college costs, he probaly gave her pocket money and other sums of cash for other "things". Well after 6 yrs and the girl getting her degree she decides to tell the guy that she was done with him. Well the guy did not take it lightly, he traveled from Enugu to Badagry, Lagos and poured acid on her. The guy said he was distraught after all the money he had spent on her and still said he would want to marry her even in her disfigured state.

Of course I totally disagree with what the guy did. Even though the girl basically used him for his money it gave him no right to do what he did. She didnt force him to spend all that money on her. When we do things for other people, they are in no obligation to repay us, it would be nice if they did but it is not a must. If you want something in return, draft a contract. I always laugh when people get in arguments with each other and someone starts listing all the things they did for the other person and how the other person did not reciprocate. My answer is always "Who sent you?". especially in a romantic relationship when people make sacrifices like give up friends, family, money, career plans etc. When the relationship fails and they start complaining my sentiment is "Who sent you?" When someone asks me for advice on a relationship decision, the first thing i say is that in a couple of years if the relationship fails just dont become bitter over the sacrifices you made. People make all sorts of irrational decisions because they are in love; when love fails, those irrational decisions get blamed on the other person. When you give dont expect that ish back.

Now as for the woman, I totally feel for her but I would be remissed if I didnt say there is some blame in her corner. Her actions in no way warranted the reaction she got from the guy but... You do not lead another human being on for 6 years while depleting him of his funds. Love is the most dangerous drug out there and people are at the most dangerous when their love has been taken for granted. When you allow a man to spend humongous amount of money on you like that, he will feel like he bought you and therefore owns you. That is basically how this guy acted. Females, do not let a man spend stupid amounts of money on you if you don't plan on marriage. Apart from it being unattractive to me, it avoids the dangerous concoction of love and money. These two drugs are dangerous on their own but when mixed, the synergistic effect is out of this world. We are all human, we all have emotions, thread lightly on them. You can not use someone and expect to go scot free, you do not know what someone is capapble of until they do it. Be careful! just because it is wrong does not mean someone will not do it when pushed, try not to push.

Stay Safe,
Realist

P.S. I am graduating from my undergraduate in approximately 14 hrs... YAY!!!

The story of the acid bathing incident can be found at http://newnigerianpolitics.com/2011/03/06/man-bathes-girlfriend-with-acid-pleads-frustration/?calendar=2011-02

A CHILD WAS BORN......

Suppose a child was born and for some absurd reason he wasn't raised or familiar with the religious notions that exist in the world today. For example, a child raised like Tarzan with no human contact LOL. Now suppose this child was ever in trouble and prayed to a supreme being to help him, which of these following supreme beings would hear his prayer? Allah? Jehovah? Krishna? Buddha? 

I and this girl were talking about religion and I happened to ask her a question. I asked her, "Why do you believe in the Christian God" as opposed to Allah? Krishna? Buddha etc? She said because when she prayed to him, he answered her. That struck me as absurd.  I then asked her, lets say you were not raised Christian and did not come from a Christian background and you had no affiliations whatsoever and you prayed to a supreme being and he answered your prayer, how would you know whether it was the Christian God or the Muslim God who answered you? How would you even know it was "one God" who answered you instead of "multiple Gods"? How would you even know it was God who answered you and not the Devil? 

My point is this, our backgrounds usually influence what our belief systems are. For example, I have an epiphany and I pray to God, the only God in my head that I would be familiar with would be the "Christian God" and so if that God happened to answer my prayer, I would automatically give praise to the Christian God because that is the only God I am familiar with as a result of my upbringing. 

Now if a Muslim went through the same thing, they would automatically give praise to Allah because that is the only God they were familiar with. Same goes for a buddhist, Hinduist etc. One usually wouldn't give praise for a miracle to a God one is unfamiliar with. 

The History Channel is of the Devil!!!

Its been a long long time! I have been going through some things, I might let you all know what I have been going through in subsequent blogposts... most likely I wont lol. When we last met I was talking about me giving up my quest for the truth and settling for happiness. Well that hasnt changed. I was doing so well with my new out look up until a week ago when (you guessed it) I tuned my tv to my former favorite station... The History Channel. If i got to hell, it will be because of the History Channel.

I never doubted the perfect nature of the bible until I watched a history channel episode on the origins of the bible. I never doubted the christian religion until I watched a history channel episode on the origins of religion. Well the new program that had me questioning after months of "peace" was one on Aliens. Yea Aliens!!! How the heck was I suppossed to know a show on Aliens would test my faith lol. So they talked about how the gods of the greeks and romans might actually have been aliens and not gods. We humans just called them gods because that was how we could explain them. Mount Olympus was not a mountain, it was a giant spaceship. Then they analyzed gods from other cultures around the world and showed how similar they were. Then they brought out Enoch from the bible and said he was an alien, and the chariots of fire that God took him to heaven in was actually a spacecraft. Then they started theorizing that maybe these aliens did experiments on us humans and thus aided us in our evolution. The Aliens were space travelers who came to earth for a while to teach us their knowledge and conduct a few experiments.

You might laugh at these assertions, as i did, but before i knew it my brain had started up. The idea is very plausible, almost as plausible as a God who created the world in 7 days. You might tell me to stop watching the Devil Channel if it endangers my faith, but what I value equal to happiness, is knowledge. And more and more it seems I cant have both.

Your Brother in Christ
Realist

P.S. By the way Lionel Messi is part of the Illuminatti. You heard it here first

A "COMEDY OF MANNERS"

There will be a lot of tangents in this post so as a reader, be forewarned LOL. 
A comedy of manners basically refers to the manners we "well bred" human beings display everyday in our lives which if examined thoroughly would be deemed absurd and ridiculous. 
Why for example, do we hesitate to take the last bit of chicken in the KFC bucket especially if others are around who might want that last piece of chicken? Lets say we order KFC for lunch and then everyone has taken a piece of chicken until there is one left, let us say I was the first one to finish my first piece of chicken and I see there is one left, why do I hesitate to take the last piece of chicken? Is it because I am scared that others might judge me selfish and self seeking? And so most times we see ourselves seeking consent before we take the last piece of chicken, we ask around and see if anybody wants the last piece (all the while praying that nobody says they want it) and when we are answered with a "no go ahead" we gleefully take the last piece of chicken. Again this is an example of the comedy of manners that we humans go through everyday. 


Now if we had not sought consent from everyone without taking that last piece of chicken, we would have been deemed selfish by others not because of our action, but because we showed no regard for their own "selfishness". Afterall, somebody else might have wanted that one piece of chicken and so therefore, by taking it we have robbed them off an opportunity to take that last piece of chicken. #comedyofmanners


Another example that I thought about goes like this.
Why is it that when we meet a celebrity for the first time, the first thing we concern ourselves with is determining whether they are humble or not? We say stuff like "oh Tuface was very humble, he is not proud at all". And in return, if the celebrity in question is well bred or was raised properly they themselves will be conscious of the "test" they are being put through and subsequently portray themselves to be as humble as humanly possible. This is all part of the comedy of manners we humans put ourselves through on a daily basis.  But why do we concern ourselves on whether celebrities show humility or not? Why does that concern us? Do you not see that it is due to the fact that if the celebrities show pride, it offends our senses. We are not mad because they are proud, we are mad because they show complete disregard for our own selfish pride. That is why we encourage modesty in modern society and that is why we want our celebrities to be humble. 


Lastly, I got into a debate about role models/heroes and how such men and women are cast as virtuous in modern society. I was of the opinion that no man completely practices virtue or is indeed virtuous. Every man has skeletons in his cupboard that he does not want to see the light of day, and as long as those skeletons exist, no man should be portrayed as virtuous. What makes society consider other men more virtuous than others is not due to the fact that those men are actually virtuous than others. Men such as Martin Luther King/Chris Okotie/Adegboye etc do not necessarily practice virtue and neither are they necessarily virtuous. Men like that do not necessarily conquer their vices as being virtuous requires, rather they artfully/skillfully "conceal" their vices. So it was my opinion that the difference between men like that and men like myself is their ability to "conceal" their vices to a very high extent. Afterall, "what can you ever truly know of other people's souls -- of their temptations, their opportunities, their struggles"? One can only truly know a man by what a man chooses to reveal to them. 

Do You Need To Respect A Person to Be Friends With them??

Okay, I know I once said a long time ago..that my friend was basically anyone I chilled with on a regular basis. Some folks on twitter felt that that was too cheap a definition, unworthy of this great calling known as friendship.

Well, tonight, on twitter this argument came up again in a new form: was it necessary to respect your friend, or is it possible to be friends with someone you dont respect. I said, sure. it was. Folks demanded I explain myself, insisting that friendship must come with mutual respect and stuff like that.

Well, lemme state it with all the precision in the world, I can be your friend and not respect you. For me, friendship is a social construct. All of us have the natural propensity to interact with people. Well, if am constantly interacting with you, hanging out, doing stuff together, then you are my friend. Nothing more. I have little demands of the friendship. I may, or may not respect you as an individual. And by respect, I mean, the esteem I hold of your person or character. I definitely cannot trust you. That is out of the picture, totally, complete. OUT. But you are still my friend, and that is not a paradox.

Think back to when you were kids. How did you make friends? That your childhood friend, that you can trust with your life today, how did you meet them? Chances are, you guys played together, or went to school, or did some kind of stuff together. There was no moral test, no character evaluation, no conditions, no demands, no contracts, no criterion. It was just a bunch of kids, doing stuff often, and gradually, you knew each other so well that you could as well be family. So where did we get this idea that friends are people who hold your back, who help you, who will always be there and be the best people for you?? Really? Well, thats not what I call friendship. If that was it, there would be no reason to seperate friends into best friends, brother from another mum, or such marks of status within frienships.

Like, and respect is not the same thing. I like my friends, even if I dont respect them. I had this friend back in Nigeria. He was a cool dude, we hung out together, partied, chased babes, and acted crazy together. Well, dude was a kleptomaniac. Anytime he came to my house, I lost something. I lost stuff, until I totally lost respect for him. But I still GENUINELY liked him. He was fun as hell, and spiced up everything we did when we went out. So of course, when he came I would secure my shit, but we would still live it up. I still call him now and then, from here. He never stopped being my friend, even when he had none of my respect. Another time, I had this dude that was our drivers weed supplier. I kid you not. I hung out with him once when we went to buy a load of weed my driver wanted to stockpile since we were going to the village, then police came there, and the guy drove us thru bunch of short cuts and we escaped. After that, he would come around sometimes, and just crack us all up with stories. We hung out a lot of times after that and he became a cool friend of mine. But I had no respect for him, I knew he couldnt be trusted, cos he was in an environment that encouraged and rewarded shadiness. But underneath the weed seller, the person was a cool dude. He showed me game centers where I would bring my game and we would make money beating folks. I never let him hold the money, I would insist I hold mine, he held his. I wasnt even an inch close to trusting him. But we were cool ass friends, no pretense. He tot I was a mama's boy, I tot he was a crook. But we got along fine, and that was okay.

If I dont have respect for them, it doesnt mean I will use them, or treat them unfairly. They are people and truth is, I try my darndest not to mistreat even strangers. So of course, am always going to accord them the basic human respect by not insulting them at will, or trying to act up on them. That part is not affected by a person's friendship with me or not, its what you get just because you are a person. And ironically that makes it easy for me to make friends with people. But truth is, I could totally think u suck at life, and ur a mess, and i cant trust you to pick your own nose. But if we spend time together, and you come across as amiable, social and fun, then call me a friend anytime and I will answer. Samuel, the son of one Buka seller in our neighbourhood will bear witness. Dude doesnt know shit, refuses to go to school, cant talk to a girl to save his life, does nothing constructive, but he sat around and sometimes tried to draw my attention whenever I passed. After knowing him for one year,I found him a likable fellow and we shared a few laughs and he'll blow the occasional match making I did for him. Still, I'd introduce him to anyone who saw us as my friend, and meant it. Between me and you, I have little respect for him. He is not a driven, capable, intelligent or passionate kind of person, the normal demographic I give respect to. I certainly have many of those kind as friends too. But he happened to have hung out with me, and I got to know him. And thats why we are friends.

Now, tell me..what do you think? Do you insist you friend be someone you respect and can trust, or not?

Wahala dey o...

I have a story to tell...
I will tell it, then analyse it then I shall accept comments on the matter.

What do you do when you know that the boyfriend/girlfriend of your friend is cheating on them? Do you
1. Go tell them
2. Keep it to yourself.

Some of your friends will advice you to go tell your friend, others will advice you to keep it to yourself. The reason I am bringing this up is because a friend of mine's bestfriend boyfriend hit her up and was talking in a trifling manner. Now the babe debated with herself on whether to tell her friend what happened afterall things of such nature must be handled delicately. Suffice it to say that the babe planned to tell her friend and before she could her friend told her that the "trifling boyfriend" had proposed to her. Can you imagine? So now the babe will now appear as a seriou bad belle if she should tell her friend that her boyfriend is trifling. Can you imagine?

So what is this babe supposed to do? Like forreal?
To tell her friend will most certainly bring her wahala because you do not take a Naija babe's happiness away and expect to walk out scot free. Some women put all their happiness upon one dude that they will refuse to hear any ill said about the guy. Some babes have to exhaust every possible excuse/benefit of the doubt/justification before they can believe that their partner is cheating on them. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt. The problem arises when the doubt turns into denial and that just becomes pathetic.

So what do you guys think?? Wetin babe go do? This one na very delicate matter and my advice is for her to bury the truth and keep on pushing..