I have a story to tell...
I will tell it, then analyse it then I shall accept comments on the matter.
What do you do when you know that the boyfriend/girlfriend of your friend is cheating on them? Do you
1. Go tell them
2. Keep it to yourself.
Some of your friends will advice you to go tell your friend, others will advice you to keep it to yourself. The reason I am bringing this up is because a friend of mine's bestfriend boyfriend hit her up and was talking in a trifling manner. Now the babe debated with herself on whether to tell her friend what happened afterall things of such nature must be handled delicately. Suffice it to say that the babe planned to tell her friend and before she could her friend told her that the "trifling boyfriend" had proposed to her. Can you imagine? So now the babe will now appear as a seriou bad belle if she should tell her friend that her boyfriend is trifling. Can you imagine?
So what is this babe supposed to do? Like forreal?
To tell her friend will most certainly bring her wahala because you do not take a Naija babe's happiness away and expect to walk out scot free. Some women put all their happiness upon one dude that they will refuse to hear any ill said about the guy. Some babes have to exhaust every possible excuse/benefit of the doubt/justification before they can believe that their partner is cheating on them. And don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt. The problem arises when the doubt turns into denial and that just becomes pathetic.
So what do you guys think?? Wetin babe go do? This one na very delicate matter and my advice is for her to bury the truth and keep on pushing..
14 comments:
ehn....did the guy toast directly? or he was just flirty? if after he has proposed he keeps making advances towards the friend then she should but if not , whats the need of telling? he didnt 'ask her to have an affair with him"....did he? i dont c any reason to tell tho
ok usually i would sa it's best to expose the flirty bofriend to m friend ASAP before matters get outta hand. but this happened to me two yrs ago and when i tld m friend her bf was flirting with me, she started actin weird and totally flipped the script on me..smh.
so if that happens again, i'll still tell my friend but this tym, there must be a third party(like another friend of ours) that is aware of what m friends boyfriend is doing so she can back the story up and it wont look like i'm being a bad belle.
The beauty of texts is that they can be saved and shown later. She shoud show her friend.
Once my bestie's guy calls me, I always tell them I have the phone one record whether I do or not.
Unless of course they're hot and I want to do them to. That's a different ball game.
xoxo
One thing i have learned from life is, do not hesitate! I would have told her the moment right after it happened. Just so nobody says that i "wanted" the solicitations or i was being trifling back.
Now she should just hold her peace. She should not even have told you, now there is evidence that she knew the guy was trifling. A guy like him can not hide his ways, it is the girl that chooses not to see. The girl has probably seen signs and will probably see more signs about his character in the future.
So my advice for your friend is to forget what happened.
Like you said, it is a very delicate matter and there is no one right answer. All the circumstances have to be carefully considered.
I would personally consider my friendship status with the girlfriend.
If I consider us to be really close and that our friendship has the potential to last for years and years, then I will tell. It will be awkward to be holding her hand during her divorce 10 years later and telling her how her soon to be ex-husband hit on me. Also, I will be working under the assumption that the friend knows me well enough to know that I only wish her well. That it is not a bad belle matter. There is also the possibility that lover boy may decide to report himself and you will look bad.
If she is little more than an acquantaince, then I will most likely keep quiet about it.
well it depends on the relationship with the friend cuz trust me when it comes to matters of the heart, some of us women can be stupid and put a guy first.....
seeing that they are engaged, there's a chance the girl may not believe her friend.....
if it were me, i won't say.....not cuz i am a bad friend but because some things are better left unsaid
Like you said, it is a very delicate matter and there is no one right answer. All the circumstances have to be carefully considered.
I would personally consider my friendship status with the girlfriend.
If I consider us to be really close and that our friendship has the potential to last for years and years, then I will tell. It will be awkward to be holding her hand during her divorce 10 years later and telling her how her soon to be ex-husband hit on me. Also, I will be working under the assumption that the friend knows me well enough to know that I only wish her well. That it is not a bad belle matter. There is also the possibility that lover boy may decide to report himself and you will look bad.
If she is little more than an acquantaince, then I will most likely keep quiet about it.
Sisi Yemmie
Ok but isn't it a bit disturbing that the dude has shown a tendency to display such lewd behavior?
The question is would he do what he did if his girlfriend was there? The answer is NO.
Kitkat
Ur suggestion seems very good. Thats actually a wiser course of action. But some babes might label u and the third party as Bad Belle ..
Vanity..
LOL it was on a phone and not many people think about recording their phone conversations. paranoid ass..
Realist your comment is on Point 100% bro. I actually feel that that would have been best. as for telling me, well thats what close friends are for.
Anonymous..
There are sometimes in life when the friendship u have with somebody can come under risk especially if the happiness of your friend is what is at stake.
The babe is happy very happy with this her boyfriend, anything/anybody who might come in the way of her illusion of her relationship is capable of getting cut. That's love for you lol. LOVE is Blind
Fums
Ur comment is highly mouthed.. So true at when it comes to matters of the heart.
Natural Nigerian
Tis true, the level of friendship has to be considered very well.
Honestly, I feel like it depends on the seriousness. Especially because him making a big decision, that may have been a LAST flirt of a free man. Also how close is she to this friend? if it was one of my girls and they didn't tell me I'd be hella mad!
Very delicate matter for sure though.
~x~
This is a tough one o, I;ll go with Kitkat here.
"There are nine of us:Vanity, Blasphemy,Otunba JesusFreak, Afrikim, Messiah, Realist, Azazel, El-Divine, and Enoch. We Believe nothing just because a so-called wise person said it. We Believe nothing just because a belief is generally held. We Believe nothing just because it is said in ancient books. We Believe nothing just because it is said to be of divine origin. We Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. We Believe only what we ourselves test and judge to be true"
At the risk of sounding nasty, "y'll are stupid"
and clueless too
Did you create yourself?
Did you create the sky and the sun and the moon?
Like i said, y'll are clueless!
i think it depends on the kind of relationship they have and the kind of person it is. there are some friends i will feel comfortable to tell, there are some that i won't tell.
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