I know I look hot. It's a pale pink, flowered, boobed tubed, A line dress that hits just above my knees. My shoes are new dollhouses. Studded and zippered to contrast the ultra girly dress. My hair is a curly bun, and my makeup is as always on point, my signature smoky cat eyes and pale pink lips.
I give myself a once over and walk into the church, it's my friend sister's wedding and I'm like 20 mins late. So as I hurry to my assigned seat, my heels pitter patter on the floor (as heels are known to do) and this causes the whole church's attention to shift to me. Well, being no stranger to attention, I shift my hurried walk into a catwalk. Feeling very cool with myself.
Next thing I know an usher walks up to me. She's 24ish, wearing a pale grey suit two sizes too big and shoes that look like clogs. Brown powder 5 shades too light and ugly plastic ear rings. I beam my best smile at her and whisper "I know where my seat is." Imagine my surprise as she grabs my arm and says rather harshly "Abeg let's go outside, I want to talk to you about something"
I stare in amazement at the crusty nails grabbing my arm. My friend gives me a look like "What is going?" I reply with what is now known as the 'Kanye shrug'. I walk outside with this girl and say "What's up?" Silently hoping she wants me to give her a makeover. As I silently decide what eye shadow would look good on her, out of her too-bright-for-her-complexion-red-lipsticked mouth comes this "We can see your bobbie (breasts), your dress is too short, your shoe too high, you cannot enter this church. You want to come and distract our pastor and brothers?"
I stare in surprise, mouth slightly ajar as she walks away and shuts the door behind her.
As a true naija girl, I walk away head held high and drive to the nearest beer and peppersoup joint awaiting the close of the ceremony and to contemplate the stupidity of this scenario.
As a church, isn't your place to show us the error of our ways as "sinners"? Isn't it your place to take us in and try to make us sin no more? Do you know how empty the bible would be if Jesus had only saved seemingly decent people?
“On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mathew 9: 12-13
"I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me; I was found by those who did not seek me. To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I’" Isaiah 65:1
Wouldn't it have been better if after church she walked up to me and tried to preach to me and then explain that if I wanted to come next time, I had to maintain a certain decorum? People like her and whoever invented that rule fail as Christians.
Imagine if I went and bad mouthed the church to all my friends, facebook, twitter, blogsville e.t.c Not just the church, but Christ would lose a lot of potential followers. She would have single handedly gone to hell for the loss of my soul and the thousands of people I would have told who would have decided that Christianity was too much of a hassle.
Now some of you are going to say "Did you not know you were going to church, why did you dress like that?" Imagine if I was a hooker and all my clothes were mini skirts and striper boots. Somehow suddenly I decide to give my life to Christ and your church is the closest to me. I wear my usual clothes that I feel good in after all, the bible or so says “It's what's in my heart that matters” and then I receive treatment like that. Raise your hand if you think I will try another church for a long ass time, if at all.
Anyhow who are you to turn “sinners” away? It’s like a hospitals turning people away for being too sick. If your Jesus, your Messiah, the one who you are supposed to be so much like didn’t turn “sinners” away but went and sought them, Who the Fuck are you?
Ok Also this is unrelated but since am talking about church. It can be argued that God hated sinners. And if God hates sinners and Jesus wants them, doesn’t that kinda trump your God & Jesus the same argument? Or did God have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) and that’s why he created Jesus to be his alter ego? (waits for thunder to strike…. Ok we’re good)
Here are some examples:
Psalm 5:5 says “The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers.”
Psalm 11:5 says “The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.”
Jeremiah 12:8 says “My heritage has become to me like a lion in the forest; she has lifted up her voice against me; therefore I hate her.”
Hosea 9:15 he says, “Every evil of theirs is in Gilgal; there I began to hate them.”
Psalm 119:119 All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross; therefore I love your statutes.
And of course there is the simple but powerful:
Romans 9:13 “As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”"
Yet we flinch from ascribing such an emotion to God? Why is this? Is it not enough to see the Scriptures clearly showing God hating sin and sinners to accept that this is true?
Ok, Am done.
Vanity XX

