The bible sucks!

Warning! This post will offend many and I am not apologizing for it!

I am currently speaking from a place with a lot of hate. I always try to be tolerant to Christianity and the Bible. I never bash. However, since Christians have decided that they shall not respect what I believe because it isn't 'the truth' I've decided that I'm done being polite. Like my friend says "Fuck civility. Let's all be bitches"

My question is;
What is with the old and new testaments? In fact what is with the bible in general? I think the bible was written by a bunch of fucking idiotic liars who didn’t even think to cross check each others' work. It has so many fucking contradictions, it amazes me that people can even sit there and defend it. So I am starting a new bi-monthly segment, titled “Contradictions in the bible” There are so many that it might take me months and then I’ll let you sit there and lie to yourself and tell yourself that “The word of God shouldn’t be questioned because I am a mere mortal”

Are we saying "God" couldn't make up his mind? Or are we saying that by creating the New Testament, "God” was once wrong with some of his old rules? Which brings about the question, can "God" be wrong? So in that case should we be expecting a new millennium testament because some of that shit is out dated? Also maybe “God” went through therapy and stuff because we have to admit that “God” was a sinister, evil bastard in the Old Testament. He commanded stoning, killing of babies and destruction of people's property. In the New Testament he supposedly comes down as an alter ego and preaches love, joy and happiness.

For the record, I'm sick and tired of people choosing to follow some parts of the Old Testament when it pleases them. No! You either think the Old Testament is outdated or you don't. Do not come at me with some scripture from the Old Testament and when I come back at you, you tell me my scripture is all no longer valid. How about you fuck yourself with your ignorance

Also, don't tell me "Oh Jesus spoke most of the new Testament not God" Negro please. Aren't you the same person that said God and Jesus are one? If Jesus and God are the same, then shouldn’t they like share a mind? Why are they contradicting each other?

Mark 15:34-37, Matthew 27:46-50 - Jesus says: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” If he’s the same as God, please I’d like you to explain why he thinks he has forsaken himself?

John 10:30 I and my Father are one.
John 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

This is looking more and more like Multiple personality disorder.

MPD describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.

I believe in God, and I’d like to think that my God is sane and shit.

Yours blasphemingly,

Vanity xx

P.S. I’d appreciate if the people who wrote the bible could agree on one creation story because, well, the humans are monkeys theory is making more sense at the moment. Did humans come first or did the animals?

Genesis 1:25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and everything that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
Genesis 1:26 And God said; Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
(Notice how in genesis 1, he says 'let us'. So is there more than one God? Or was Jesus there with him? Or did the angels help him? In that case why does he take the glory for all their work? Isn't that like plagiarism? Also in this chapter, it seems that Eve was planned because he says them while in Chapter 2, Eve is more of an after thought! )

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him and help meet for him.(How sexist! Notice how it says Help and not companion And how Eve wasn't even planned!)
Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

(If you read my own blog, you'll know I have issues with the family and they are making me read the bible and well, this is what happens when I read the bible. I have to read the whole bible so um yeah. Just about done with genesis!)

CAN GOD LIE???

Before I start, THANKS A WHOLE LOT TO THOSE WHO VOTED FOR THIS BLOG @ the Nigerian Blog Awards.. On behalf of all the contributors on this blog, I say 'oshe'(Thank You)

The title of this blogpost probably made a lot of you cringe and internally say 'NO GOD CANNOT LIE'. I hope to examine that common belief that 'man is always wrong, and God is always right'. How many times have men of God told us that God told them to do something, and what they ended up doing became a failure or what God told them to do did not apply to our good senses? 

Take Chris Okotie, a pastor in Nigeria, during the last presidential election did he not state publicly that God wanted him to run for public office?? Now if God said he should run for public office, how come God did not ensure that he won the election? So did God lie or did Chris Okotie lie? Most of you are inclined to state that Chris Okotie lied, but why is that? 

Personally as I've stated time and time again, I do not think that God is infallible. I have no problem believing that if there was a God, he would be capable of lying. 

I remember when the pastor of the church I use to go to stated that God told him to open up a saturday night service at his church, and the whole congregation hailed him and everybody was happy. Six months later, he came back and said that the Saturday night service thing was not working out so he had decided to stop doing it. Now remember that 6 months earlier, God had supposedly given him the green light to go ahead with the service, so why would God give him the green light to go ahead with something that would end up as a failure??

Which brings us to my question again, who lied in this case? God?? or the pastor??

My favorite philosopher Thomas Paine once said "That God cannot lie, is no advantage to your argument, because it is no proof that priests can not, or that the Bible does not."

But then even that quote makes no sense to me, because if priests can lie? and the bible can lie? Why then do we even believe there's a God? Afterall we came to know about God and his characteristics through his prophets and through his 'bible'. So if the priests and the bible can be liars, then is it not possible that the idea of a single God could be a lie?

I just came off this 'heated' debate with Juiceegaal on twitter, ok ok it really wasn't that heated but basically juiceegaal was of the opinion that 'Asking questions is a good thing' and I agreed with her totally but I just had to do a little probing. Sometimes people think that the 'questioning' part should only be relegated to opinions or ideas not to people's personal lives as well. But I believe that the 'questioning' extends to every fiber of our human existence, I am perfectly fine if somebody asks you How many people you've slept with? Do you sleep naked at night? Have you smoked weed? etc, questions should not be relegated only to opinions or ideas that need to be challenged. They can extend into your personal life as well in my opinion and unless you have something to hide, you should not cringe when somebody probes into your life that deeply especially if your somebody who champions the 'need to ask questions'. 

James Allen once said "The man or woman who cannot endure to have their errors or shortcomings brought to the surface and made known, but tries to hide them, is unfit to walk the highway of truth..

If you can't bear to have aspects of your life questioned with respect, then you can like to get off the "highway of truth".

DID THE "TOWER OF BABEL" HAVE ANY ELEVATORS?

So last night, I honestly argued with two of my friends on the subject of christianity/bible until 3 a.m. During the cause of this argument/discussion, I happened on the topic of the tower of babel. The argument so far had definitely been lively and at times heated but it was held with splendid decorum.


Genesis 11:1-9


It is said that the tower of babel was so tall that it was almost reaching heaven, that God felt so threatened by it that he resolved to stop them from reaching heaven by giving them different languages. No yawa, baba God struck all the people there with different languages and they could no longer communicate with each other, hence the construction of the building stopped. Now to my question, HOW TALL COULD THE TOWER OF BABEL HAVE BEEN THAT IT WAS ALMOST REACHING HEAVEN? That would mean that this tower passed earth, entered space, passed pluto, jupiter, venus etc and was almost reaching heaven? Chai, come and see serious architecture, those builders deserve noble prizes. If you go to school, your ass should know that there is no way that building entered space, because obviously there is no gravity in space. Moreover, with a building that tall, how where the workers able to get to the top to keep on constructing? Elevator no dey, escalator no dey, space ship no dey, how where these mere men able to climb up to the top of the tower? They had no space suits, and in space they would be floating. And this is what vexes me with the bible and people who believe somuch in it, the truth is right there staring you in your freaking face but noooo you refuse to accept it because you don't want to deal with the responsiblity. After they will say controversy your to negative, you are to cynical, you are to pessimistic, you mock our religion, you criticize us tomuch. But why won't I mock your useless religion? I grow weary with every passing day because I see people living lies. People just refuse to think, I keep on repeating the same thing. 2 % of people think, 3% of people think that they think, 95% of people would rather die than think. I just do not understand it, why would people see the truth and choose to ignore it. It just does not make sense to me, and this weariness has translated into how I relate to people. Honestly, nothing human beings do can surprise me anymore, people are so scared to embrace the truth and this reality has ultimately affected how i relate to people around me this days. I have showed you guys the absurdity of the whole thing and people will still find a way to try to explain it?
There will be those who will say that maybe the "tower almost reaching heaven" should not be taken literally, to those people I say, if the tower was as tall as the largest sky scraper man has made, why has God not brought down those sky scrapers as well? So that side of the argument is not logical.
Then they wonder, why is it with all the things these guy says against religion/bible has God not struck him down with thunder. I summit to you that the reason God has not struck me down with thunder, is because I am telling the truth. It might not be the whole truth, but I know that I have at least done my part in asking questions. The bible says there was a tower, they say that the tower was almost reaching heaven. You have all seen spaceships enter space, so you all must believe that it is not made up, hence it is real. Now tell me, how is it possible that people wey no get elevators, escalators, spaceships or spacesuits were able to build a tower that was almost reaching heaven? A tower that was so tall, that it got a whole Almighty God worried, that he had to strike them with different languages? Please make una find me answer. if you can not find me answer, it's ok I have already forgiven you in advance. Hiss, Good Night abi na Good Morning jare.


P.S: I am sorry if anybody is offended with my tone in this particular blogpost, but in my defence I am writing this at 4 am, lol I could not sleep so I decided to write this as a draft and save it before I forgot about it tomorrow.