Before I go on, last night I was overcome by serious panic attacks concerning death. Personally, I am not scared of death neither am I scared of dying but I realised yesterday that I am deathly afraid of people close to me dying. So I and my brother have a sort of "love-hate" relationship. We find it mad hard to be affectionate with each other, if my brother is nice to me I get suspicious and if am nice to him he gets suspicious. But yesterday, I realised that I would not know what to do with myself if my brother was to die before I did. I would be so crushed, because God knows I've taken that fool for granted so many many times. So yesterday, I texted this fool right and after I was done texting I debated hard about whether I should let him know that I love him. At the end of the debate sha, I decided that ti was to early to start all this lovey-dovey stuff with him because I knew he would text back asking if I was "Ok". And he would want to know, when we started becoming "lovey dovey" siblings lol. Btw, people around me have been doing nice things for me, like they give me stuffs for free and they do favors for me and it's freaking me out. When did people start being so "NICE"? Like am mad suspicious right now, like people around me this days just say nice things, do nice things and give me gifts also. You know in Naija, dem go talk say maybe they have planned to kill me for ritual that is why they are buttering me up lwkm.
Ok guys so you know am the guy that claims to like truth and blah blah blah blah.Lately sha, I have hit upon a lil tinsy bitsy snag.
What would you guys do, if you had a male or female friend who was scheduled to get married to their respectice fiance/fiancee's but who was a cheater. As in, your friend is the one who is doing the cheating, not their partner. Normally, it's the partner of your friend doing the cheating but in this case it's your own friend doing the cheating.
Basically, your friend has cheated on his/her partner but you've not told the partner that your friend did such a thing. My question is: Would you go and tell the fiance/fiancee of your friend that their partner has cheated on them? This question also applies to Relationships, not only marriages.
Because I know of somebody who is suppose to marry a female but the guy is cheating on his partner and they are about to get married. I was just watching this show in which the friend had to tell the other fiance that his fiancee was cheating on him. And I asked myself, whether I would have the liver to do the same, and I realised that I would not. I mean, can you imagine planning all those stuffs for the wedding and on the day of the wedding a baggar individual decides to let the cat out of the bag? I would kill the person who did that if it was my own wedding. If your going to tell me something like that, tell me a week before the wedding not on the day of the wedding itself. Shey you guys feel me?
Oya I want to hear yall's thoughts on this issue. Would you or would you not let the partner of your friend know that your friend was cheating on him/her. Cus me I would feel guilty knowing that I had just doomed an innocent person to be married for life with a cheat when I could have prevented that.
Moreover, why is it females who know their male friends are cheating on their female partners never ever go inform the female partner that her man is cheating? What happened to sisterhood? Women do not stick up for themselves anymore. I feel that if you know your male friend is cheating on his girl, you should go let his girl know. Afterall, if you where in her shoes you would want somebody to tell you would you not? Some girls wouldn't want to know sha, lol I know a babe who knows that her boo is cheating on her but she has adopted a strategy of living in denial. "See no Evil, Hear no Evil" kinda babe. What do you guys think?
33 comments:
First!!!!
Una hear that?! I am first.
Shiyiiit!! I am getting good at this. Now, I am off to read.
With the whole lovey dovey thing..lol. I know EXACTLY what you mean by that. IMO, let him know you love him as often as possible. He can yab you all he wants but in the end, you know you did good by him. I think he already knows sha.
As for cheats. I will never ever tell a female friend that a guy is cheating. I will rather tell the guy that he has x amount of time to end the relationship and focus on my friend or I will make sure she finds out somehow.
Dont't ever tell, everyone will blame you for ruining the lives of two people. Let them figure it out for themselves.
I am third too! Ha ha ha! Okay, I'm off now to get a life.
Lol yeah lucililth I have always had this mind your own business mentality. But I would feel so guilty knowin that I've let somebody go seond the rest of their lives with somebody they didn't know was a cheat.
lol i know what you mean about the lovey dovey stuff my bro gets more lovey dovey than i do, sometimes i wonder what is wrong with d guy...jk lmao
as for telling your friend's partner that he is cheating, i think thats the best thing to do even if you think you cant, because thats just sooo wrong and I feel bad for the bride-to- be...wouldnt you want someone to say something to you? even if it was the day of the wedding? because its only going to get worse after they get married. He will continue to do it he wont stop js bc hes married...im not really suprised....these days everyone seems to be cheating, infidelity is everywhere and ppl cant stayed married for atleast five yrs *shake my damn head* its really a BIG fat shame how ppl ruin their marriages because of lust
stay*
@ The Damsel
I think it's lack of discipline mehn, serious lack of discippline..
Discipline and self control is just dead in today's society. It use to be a noble thing to be faithful and stay together, now we even glorify it in today's media and culture.
I would tell whoever I am closer to. And if I am close to neither I wont talk unless I am asked. If you don't ask I wont say anything. Sometimes when you tell people about such things they will say you are lying or you are trying to destroy their relationship.
If you are close to the guy and not the babe and you tell the babe the guy (you are close to) is cheating she will say you are trying to ruin the relationship and have him for yourself. Even I would be suspicious if it happened to me.
I hate to be the one who isn't so black and white but as far as me telling a friend that their partner is cheating on them...I would wait to see the details of this cheating.
Is it a one time thing? Why did it happen? etc...
I have been in situations where I was friends with a guy who was cheating on his girlfriend. But my friendship with the guy trumped my need to stand up for "sisterhood" and tell his gf. Its sad but true. I owed more loyalty to him than to the girl cos I knew him better.
I am not sure people always want to hear the truth.
hmmmn...at the risk of spoilin a friendship???
i dont think so o....i dnt think i wud tell the partner(victim) except the person is my friend, if the person isnt my friend then truthfully and honestly...it isnt my business...
if at all i had to say anything, it'll be to my friend(the cheat).
as for loving ur bruv, i think theres coded ways of saying it without sounding overly nice...i think...
just like you am not afraid of death or of dying.,im more concerned about someone close to me take the ride..it will hurt so much that if i had to choose i ll prefer it to be me but then it will hurt the person/people am leave behind so my prayer always is let no one die..
as 4 telling someone that my friend who also happened to be his/her spouse is cheating, well, it depends, if the person who is being cheated on is also my friend then somehow i ll let him/her know, but not on the wedding day, otherwise i ll just mind my bussiness
Azzie you better get on your ass and text your brother that you love him. What's there to lose? he might make fun of you but if something happens you know you let him know. I shall check back with you on this.lol
Re: cheating. Omo, that's a long tin. I honestly don't know what i'd do. Most females don't tell a fellow female espcially if you are single because the default answer is that you are jealous. There are only very few girlfriends of mine that I would tell.
Have a happy turkey day bro!
@ Lady X
I feel u mehn and that is definitely how it would come across..
The question is, would u want somebody to tell u though if it was u?
@ EDJ
Again the question is would u want somebody to tell u if it was u? Right now ur concerned about ur own feelings or ur friends, what about the victim's feelings? Don't they matter?
@ Honey91
Lol please teach me this coded ways of expressing love o.
Lol again Honey, would u want to be told if the guy u were going to marry was a cheat?
@ Sunnyside.
I feel u mehn, I would persnally to die myself than for those close to me to die. Idk how I would handle it. Am honestly scared for them.
@ Tayment
Have a happy turkey also hun..
I will let my bro know that I love him when I see him during thanksgiving ...
Lol taynement am askin u the same question I've asked everyone, would u want to know if your partner was cheating on u?
@Azazel, to answer your question, I would want someone to tell me if it was me. Sounds selfish, I know, since I wouldn't tell the person if I knew.
Hmm selfish human being like urself EDJ... SHAME ON U..
I wouldn't tell the other party but only cos I don't know them well. I'll probably tell my friend to cut it out.
BTW, tell your brother you love him now oo and then you guys can continue your cat and mouse. I heard of so many young deaths last week it's not funny any more.
I'd want to know but if they didn't tell me for any of the reasons I mentioned then I'd totally get it.
as the yorubas would say "kilon ko mi?" Hope i didnt butcher that, but seriously my mum always told me never to get involved in other pple's rship and i learned my lesson the hard way. My friend and her bf were having issues and since we were all "friends" i was advicing the young man cos my frnd is like my sister, only for the dude to go and tell her that me i was a bad friend stabbing her in the back. I say cold catch me. Since that day my motto is "to each his own."
The best i can do is to provide my bony shoulder to anyone who desires to cry on it, bcos when the lover tells them those sweet things and touches them in that special place u go be the bad belle that wants to spoil their love.
I find it hard to tell my family i love them cos we were not brought up like that but i tell my frnds i love them. Ur brother def knows u love him, but if it helps u shd prolly tell him.
@ Myne.
What if ur friend did not cut it out?
@ Lady X
I doubt u would still be friends somebody who didn't let u know that ur partner was cheatin on u.
@ Neo.
Lol @ na cold catch u.
Trust me neo i've always lived by that MIND UR OWN BUSINESS rule.. But that doesn't mean dat that sort of mentality is right.
Abeg me I no dey tell any female that her man is cheating oh even if na my friend. When females love a man they love him to death. In my experience they almost always go back to him and then the whistle blower becomes the enemy of love or some bullshit like that. Soon you will find yourself as the subject of a testimony. The best I can do is try to organize a nice run in with the man while he's cheating or set up a situation where she'll find out.
Lol @ Mogaji
Hahaa @ecome the subject o testimony. Mehn ur so right.
im scared of death, like really really. and my family is the lovey dovey type so we keep all thsoe i love yous in there.
i never tell anybody that anybody is cheating, i just think its none of my business.i once told a friend that her boyfriend was cheating on her and she told me i was jealous because i was single, so till this day i keep my mouth out of anybody's relationship.
Yeah... everything that they said lol. Your brother probably knows you love him, but there's nothing like hearing those words.
As per the cheating issue, it depends on how close I am to the parties involved. I feel like I only have that right (to get involved/tell/not tell) if they were in my tightest circle of friends. Everyone else, I'd probably just tell my close friend to tell your close friend to tell you... if I cared that much to begin with that is. If it was me, I'd definitely appreciate being told.
@ leggy.
I feel u mehn, it's sometimes best to keep one's mouth shut.
@ Miss fab
Lol i just met my bro, found it hard 2 tell him the i love u
azazel
i think i'd start praying seriously about this your fear of death. i don't inform my friends about their cheating bf's cuz i think it's good to mind my business
I feel u HYAW
the person would either have to be a really close friend/ or im not friendly with the 'cheated on partner' and slightly friendly with the cheater, then i might consider it. that's a tough one sha, becuase people dont like hearing the truth adn sometimes;/most times the revealing party or person gets put in the middle. keep us in the loop sha
How come I haven't come on this blog! Stale me! You're really lucky you're not scared of dying, cuz I am! I will stop really soon though! As for the cheating thing..there are only 4 girlfriends at the max that I will tell if their partner was cheatin on them! Trust me! People don;t want to know and if/when they sort things out, you'll always be the devil. So I'd say if it were my friend doing the cheating, we'll nip it in the bud there and then... None of that!
x!
@ Natural.
It really is a shame that ppl detest the truth with such a passion. And it's lookin like the babe being cheated on in question knows her partner is cheatin but chooses to live in Denial.
@ bob ij
Yayyy u visited my blog finally.
I feel u hun, ppl really do not want to hear the bad news dat will spoil their relationship
You tell me you love me all the time!!!! so Tell your brother too! I like this post no controversy on this one!!! loves u kiddo!
Loves u Miss O
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