So two individuals, man and woman meet, hook up, exchange numbers and all that. They start talking on the phone, every night, every day, texting and getting to know each other. Now mind you, these two individuals have pretty much experienced everything they can when it comes to "male-female" relationships, they know the tricks, they've heard the broken promises, they've been heart broken, cheated on, blah blah blah.
Now these two individuals are obviously wary people when it comes to love, so the topic of love is never discussed or brought up in their conversations. These two people gradually begin to really enjoy each other's companies, their "relationship" stretches into three months and all the while their "interest" in each other grows and grows. At what point then is it acceptable for the guy to drop the "love" bomb? Those three little words that'll change their relationship forever. At what point can he drop it without fear that the girl might take it the wrong way or not accept it? I'm speaking from the guys perspective because I am a guy, the woman will obviously have her own perspective but since she is not here to state hers, we shall ignore her perspective LOL.
My question again is this, when in a relationship between a guy and girl can the guy finally drop the words "I LOVE YOU" or "I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU". Is there a time limit? Should he wait 3 months before dropping those words? Even though he probably felt love for her after the first week? Should he wait a year? 6 months? Because the thing with babes who've been fucked up emotionally by other guys is that their cynicism/skepticism is off the charts, so when they finally come to you they are really skeptical about the words "I love you" unless of cause they are one of those babes who can't wait to hear those words then that one is a different marra.
I really need help or advice answering this question, and NO I am not in love, just inquiring just incase I ever get to this point.. (Lies bloggers typeeee) lmao.
Moving On...
So I've been thinking, maybe there are different types of love. Maybe there is the love that empowers you and the love that weakens the fuck out of you emotionally/mentally. I mean how else do you explain how a babe who's been played and out played by her boyfriend keeps going back to him even though she knows of his transgressions? And she can't for the life of her come up with an answer as to why she keeps on going back.
Most of us have friends like that, who exhibit that type of emotional weakness when it comes to somebody they really "feel". What advice do you give to such friends? Because it seems like no matter what you say, they keep FALLING, FALLING, FALLING as Alicia Keys says.
6 comments:
I think you can say it whenever you really mean it and are comfortable sharing it with the person. Some would probably say to wait until you have an idea that they feel the same way too.
As for types of love- i think there's only one type but how it effects you and what it causes you to do depends on the kind of person you are. Emotional weakness isn't caused by love, to me. Because even if you leave loser number one, the next person you'll get with will probably be a loser too because there's something in you that is attracted to that kind of person.
I know how you feel. So that kind of love that makes a girl keep going back to her jerk of a boyfriend in most cases is spelt like this: D-I-C-K. When d tornado knows how to stir her waters, its hard to let it alone.
Meanwhile, ole me doesnt know when to tell a girl I love you because theres only one girl I told that, and I told her after just a week, and we later dated for 8 months. every other girl after that, we kinda just Assumed.
Lmao @ we kinda just assumed.. BAd guyzzzz
When he can tell they are BOTH no longer at a place of 'wariness'...when they can both comfortably talk about this 'love' they are both so wary about.
Altho i must say that for someone who has been through it all and was wary about love...he sure did fall in love quick. LOL...don't mind me oh...i'm just a cynic :p
Realist the love expert enters the building:
Well i want to say you should say it as soon as you feel it, even if it is one minute since you met her. But that is the naive me that has never been in love or even come close to it.
The more "REALIST" me that has experienced the ups and downs of love. So what i experienced it vicariously through friends and family (it still counts!!!). I would say for a girl who has been hurt before, you say it at either one of the three occasions:
1)You know she wants/ready for you to say it. Yes it seems like the cowardly thing to do, but for a woman who has been through hell, hearing the word "Love" before she is ready to hear it is a deal breaker. Enjoy the pre-love stages
2)You can not hold it in any longer.
3)When God speaks to you in a dream
But the way you tell her is very important. Me myself, i will not tell her anywhere close to my bed or else she might have flashbacks to people saying those words just to get in her panties. I would say it in a casual atmosphere. Just be like i am telling you without expecting anything in return (for now lol). I have been meaning to tell you for a while but i am scared (they love to see a strong man vulnerable. Assuming you are a strong man lol)that it will mess up this beautiful thing we have here... I will stop i am writing out my fantasy.
But seriously, if you say it make sure it is not sexual in any way. And do not do it in an emotional way (or spur of the moment thing), let her know and see you have seriously thought about it. Present it in a calm manner like you are talking about something important (which it is). I would suggest you take the romance out of it, y'all are not new to this so the wide-eyed fantasy of your first love has been squashed (or should be). So be grown up and mature about saying it. Explain to her that you are serious and you have been through the playful "love" and this is not it, this is real. Let her know it doesnt matter if she doesnt feel the same at the moment that there is no pressure. Well if it is you, Azazel, then trust her with something big(or something she THINKS is big) just before you say it (cus your ass dont trust too many people and hopefully she knows this) and she will know you are serious. There is no magical number of days or weeks, every r/ship is different. Only the people in the relationship decide the right time to open their hearts, we dont consult the calendar before we "feel" love.
And the end of the day you might say it and she still freaks out and runs away. So is Love and Life. You never really know.
As for the second question; it comes when someone needs to be loved for other reasons than just being in love. People need to be loved so that they dont deem theirselves failures, cus they have never been loved, cus they dont think anyone else wants them, they need security, they need a parent for their kid... so on and so forth. If you are in love because you are "in love", when a mofo hits you, "love" will grab your hand and walk you out the door and never let you back.
Honesty is important....you should not hide from someone that fact that u love them. And if he is afraid....then that isnt the right woman for him.. Fear of communication has no place in a healthy relationship. There is no time frame...it has takin me years to fall in love....and I have also been married after 3 months of dating...so...lol...good luck
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