WHAT I WOULD TELL MY KIDS

So I've been MIA for a little bit, been busy with a whole host of things. I've been meaning to blog about this topic which concentrates on what I wish my parents would have told me as a child and what I've found out as an adult. I made up my mind that if I ever had kids, I would keep it real with them and tell them the truth about situations as much as possible. No lies.

1. First of all I would tell my kids that Life is severely complicated. Morality is not always black and white, there is a lot of gray in between. I would tell my kids that role models are human beings first and foremost and to never place tomuch faith in any man or woman, because human beings disappoint.

2. When it came to matters of religion, I would tell my kids that up until they turned 18 they would adhere to what ever religion was practiced at my household but once they turned 18 they would be free to pursue any religion they wished to pursue.

3. I would tell my kids about the concept of death and what it meant for the lives they intended to live. That Death is a permanent fixture in human life.

4. Concerning matters of the heart, I would tell my son that if he found a woman worth losing his self respect for, that would be the woman he should be with. And to my daughter, I would advice her that no man was worth losing her self respect for.

5. I would advice my kids to focus more on their character than on their reputations. A lot of nigerian parents focus more on the reputation of their kids than with their character, they are constantly processing things through the prism of how it would affect their family name. Most nigerian parents have figured that it is easier to have a bad conscience than to have a bad reputation. I would tell my kids to stay true to themselves no matter what and even when they made mistakes, they should still hold their heads high.

6. I would tell my kids that humility is a good trait but there is a bad kind of humility. There is a modesty that is based on what people think about you and that is the worst type of humility a person can have. Somepeople are modest because they realize it would be good for "appearances", when in their heart of hearts they have the ego of a giant. I would tell them to watch out for that kind of humility and only to display humility if it came from the heart.

7. I would warn my kids about the influence of "appearances" in the world. Things and people are not always what they seem/appear to be. Few people would rise to their esteem upon closer scrutiny. A lot of people are fooled by appearances and I would tell them to beware of falling for appearances.

8. Growing up as a Kid, everybody played that game in which we were all asked "what we wanted to be when we grew up"? At that time, we all gave answers to those questions with our hopes high and shit LOL. Our parents never told us about the sacrifices one would have to make in order to achieve those dreams, they never told us we might have to betray our friends/principles just to get that promotion or just to get in through the door. They never tell us we might have to tell a lie or two just to pad our resumes, they left those important details out.

9. I would tell my kids that human beings are extremely fickle. They'll love you today and turn against you tomorrow, they will fade with the wind so be careful putting their faith in the masses. They are easily easily swayed, so never be bothered when they don't hold you in high esteem, because one action on your part can sway them in the opposite direction.

10. I would encourage my kids to always work on improving their flaws but never run away from admitting them because of shame. I would tell my kids that "shame" is one of the main causes of human misery in this world. The things people will do just to avoid shame is actually shameful, no pun intended. Accept your flaws, embrace them and if they can be changed, change them, if not.. *shrugs*

11. I would instill in my kids the value of a sense of humor. They should never stop laughing even in times of sorrow and pain, laughter heals all.

12. I would tell my kids that the easiest thing in the world to do is to be you. The most difficult thing is to be what other people want you to be. Don't let anybody put you in a position where you can't be you.

I can only think of these twelve things for now, if I remember more I'll update the post. Please Share with me, what you would like to tell your own kids if and when you have yours.

Restitution

Definition of RESTITUTION

1: an act of restoring or a condition of being restored: as  

a : a restoration of something to its rightful owner  

b : a making good of or giving an equivalent for some injury

 

2: a legal action serving to cause restoration of a previous state 

 

 

 

 

There has to be some higher form of retribution. That can't be it. You can't tell me that after a life of murdering people, if a person prays 1 minute before he dies that God will forgive him and let him into heaven? #Stopit!! I like to believe if there is a God that he's certainly not that stupid. He can't be. What?? Doesn't he have to avenge the death of the harmed souls? Isn't that why they say "Leave vengeance for the Lord?"

You can't tell me that after a person kills my family, I leave him to go Scot free because I believe the Lord will avenge it and then I die and see him in Heaven enjoying the same things I'm enjoying. Don't play with my emotions like that.

Please, there has to be more to forgiveness than that. The only reason I'm writing this is because my cousin just had sex with this girl, kicked her out at 11.30 PM and proceeded to drive 5 minutes to a church for night vigil to get atonement for his sins before 12 am. Many people seem to have this same idea about the May 21st rapture scare.. This is why I believe that can't be it. That can't be all God requires to let people into heaven.

We all know I'm not Christian but I want to believe for you people who are Christian sake, that the God you serve is not stupid. There has to be more to it. 

I also don't want to believe that people who lie white lies like "I'm a natural blond" and coldblooded murderers are going to the same hell. Hell gats to have levels. This is my belief and opinion. If there is a hell, there gats to be levels. White liars gats to have air condition at least or hand fan. They can't receive the same punishment. It just can't be.

I'm just going to put this out there plain and simple if, and only IF all that is required for forgiveness is a one minute prayer and everyone goes to the same hell, then your God and religion is stupid. But that's a topic for another day isn't it? End of rant.

Vanity xx

I've missed you guys btw. Back one day and it feels great.
It's a beautiful day

Love and Other Drugs...

So a couple of weeks ago I came across this story about a man bathing his girlfriend with Acid. Apparently the man had been in a six year relationship with her and paid for her schooling from her 100 levels (guessing that is equivalent to freshman year) up until she finished. And of course apart from the college costs, he probaly gave her pocket money and other sums of cash for other "things". Well after 6 yrs and the girl getting her degree she decides to tell the guy that she was done with him. Well the guy did not take it lightly, he traveled from Enugu to Badagry, Lagos and poured acid on her. The guy said he was distraught after all the money he had spent on her and still said he would want to marry her even in her disfigured state.

Of course I totally disagree with what the guy did. Even though the girl basically used him for his money it gave him no right to do what he did. She didnt force him to spend all that money on her. When we do things for other people, they are in no obligation to repay us, it would be nice if they did but it is not a must. If you want something in return, draft a contract. I always laugh when people get in arguments with each other and someone starts listing all the things they did for the other person and how the other person did not reciprocate. My answer is always "Who sent you?". especially in a romantic relationship when people make sacrifices like give up friends, family, money, career plans etc. When the relationship fails and they start complaining my sentiment is "Who sent you?" When someone asks me for advice on a relationship decision, the first thing i say is that in a couple of years if the relationship fails just dont become bitter over the sacrifices you made. People make all sorts of irrational decisions because they are in love; when love fails, those irrational decisions get blamed on the other person. When you give dont expect that ish back.

Now as for the woman, I totally feel for her but I would be remissed if I didnt say there is some blame in her corner. Her actions in no way warranted the reaction she got from the guy but... You do not lead another human being on for 6 years while depleting him of his funds. Love is the most dangerous drug out there and people are at the most dangerous when their love has been taken for granted. When you allow a man to spend humongous amount of money on you like that, he will feel like he bought you and therefore owns you. That is basically how this guy acted. Females, do not let a man spend stupid amounts of money on you if you don't plan on marriage. Apart from it being unattractive to me, it avoids the dangerous concoction of love and money. These two drugs are dangerous on their own but when mixed, the synergistic effect is out of this world. We are all human, we all have emotions, thread lightly on them. You can not use someone and expect to go scot free, you do not know what someone is capapble of until they do it. Be careful! just because it is wrong does not mean someone will not do it when pushed, try not to push.

Stay Safe,
Realist

P.S. I am graduating from my undergraduate in approximately 14 hrs... YAY!!!

The story of the acid bathing incident can be found at http://newnigerianpolitics.com/2011/03/06/man-bathes-girlfriend-with-acid-pleads-frustration/?calendar=2011-02

A CHILD WAS BORN......

Suppose a child was born and for some absurd reason he wasn't raised or familiar with the religious notions that exist in the world today. For example, a child raised like Tarzan with no human contact LOL. Now suppose this child was ever in trouble and prayed to a supreme being to help him, which of these following supreme beings would hear his prayer? Allah? Jehovah? Krishna? Buddha? 

I and this girl were talking about religion and I happened to ask her a question. I asked her, "Why do you believe in the Christian God" as opposed to Allah? Krishna? Buddha etc? She said because when she prayed to him, he answered her. That struck me as absurd.  I then asked her, lets say you were not raised Christian and did not come from a Christian background and you had no affiliations whatsoever and you prayed to a supreme being and he answered your prayer, how would you know whether it was the Christian God or the Muslim God who answered you? How would you even know it was "one God" who answered you instead of "multiple Gods"? How would you even know it was God who answered you and not the Devil? 

My point is this, our backgrounds usually influence what our belief systems are. For example, I have an epiphany and I pray to God, the only God in my head that I would be familiar with would be the "Christian God" and so if that God happened to answer my prayer, I would automatically give praise to the Christian God because that is the only God I am familiar with as a result of my upbringing. 

Now if a Muslim went through the same thing, they would automatically give praise to Allah because that is the only God they were familiar with. Same goes for a buddhist, Hinduist etc. One usually wouldn't give praise for a miracle to a God one is unfamiliar with.