A Separate Peace

I remember having to read this book in the 9^th grade, I unlike everyone else loved it. When I came to a decision this Sunday as one of my best friends was preaching at church the title of the book came to my mind.

Well he was preaching instead of the regular pastor as he regularly does when the pastor cant for some reason. I for once wasn’t fighting sleep…lol I looked around and saw the resoluteness and sincerity in his face and then saw the bliss in the audience’s face and I came to this conclusion: I rather have the peace of faith than the constant consternation and upheaval in the quest for the “truth”.

It might be folly to some but I personally am tired of “searching”. Life was better when I did not question if there was a God and what religion did he endorse. Life was better when I was a Christian. People can spend their whole life searching and they still will not find. There might not even be a “truth” out there to find. We would have spent our whole lives searching for something that might not be there to be found.

I don’t know what is right, but right now I don’t care. I have long since come to see blind faith as folly; maybe it is folly but our lives as humans are in a perpetual state of folly. We are here on earth acting out a script we don’t know who the writer is and what their motive is. Our lives are so insignificant when we look at it. It is almost like there is no reason for our existence, maybe there isn’t but I rather act like I am important enough that someone took the time to plan my existence. Maybe this is when faith comes in, when you realize you will never know, you just have to believe in something that has all the answers. I came to find faith as a cop out, as someone giving up on rationality.

So I have made a “Separate Peace” with my quest for the “truth”. The “peace” is that I accept I will never know so I rather save myself the trouble of searching. So I officially give up.

Back to the book, I remember us laughing at the book and insinuating George and Finny were homosexual lovers. This brings me to my one quandary with “giving up”, and that is homosexuality. I believe they are born that way and I cannot understand why “God” will make people outcasts for the way he created them. That alone is stopping me for reaching a full “peace”. Every time I go down this route it always leads to me having to start my own religion that totally fits me.

I feel I might have gone too far on my quest that I cannot just “give up”. I have questioned too much. But I will try valiantly to give up. Lol. I might have to change my name to the Ex-Realist. lol