WOULD YOU RATHER BE A DICK OR A SWALLOWER

Quote: For the black man there is only one destiny. And it is white.  – Frantz Fanon.

I live in the United States of America and believe me when I tell you that this is the greatest country ever known to man. The White God has never blessed a country as much as he did this here great nation.  Now some may be wondering, why is he praising America when he’s a Nigerian? Wetin concern us with America? Well, the elitist part of me has always hoped that every Nigerian should try and reach America and have a taste of civilization before they die. This is not to say that Nigeria is a country of savages I’m just saying we haven’t really hit civilization in that country. Before I go on, I want to make a note about my writing style on this here website, I prefer to write articles in plain English or some may say a conversational style. I’m not trying to win any English essay competition with these articles; however, I am trying to convey my message as simple as possible so that the common man on the street does not have to pick up a dictionary to understand me. With that said, allow me to proceed with what troubles my heart on this great day. This thing that troubles my heart can be described as “White Privilege”. See before I moved to America, as a Nigerian I did not understand the concept of White Privilege, afterall I was surrounded by fellow niggas. The only privilege I knew off was having that police siren on top of your car and being able to bypass traffic as soon as you switched it on. When you move to this great land, you immediately become conscious of your skin, nobody tells you to become conscious of it, it’s so natural and you realize there’s a pecking order and on that pecking order, the skin color of black is dead last. So what is White Privilege? I could provide one of them dictionary type definitions but I promised you all I would keep it simple and plain. White privilege is when a white man or woman can drive through a upper-class neighborhood and not worry about being pulled over by cops because of the color of their skin. White privilege is when a white man can walk into a store and not worry about the attendant paying extra attention to him worrying about whether he would steal something from the store. White privilege is when a white man can walk down a street and 2 women walking down the same street don’t feel the need to cross the road and hop unto the next pavement rather than share the same pavement with him. White privilege is when a white doctor can make a mistake in his diagnosis and his mistake is not viewed as resulting from the color of his skin but as an honest human mistake. And finally, White Privilege is when a white teenager can walk down a neighborhood with skittles and Arizona iced tea and not have to worry that a neighborhood watchman determining that he’s walking with no purpose and thereby accost him.

            See you try not to view every white person as racist in this country because that would be unreasonable. You try to give every person the benefit of the doubt and not immediately hop on the race bandwagon as the reason why the waiter at the restaurant seemed to serve the white guests first even though you and your black friends got to the restaurant first. You try to provide other rational explanations for things of that nature, but this country makes it so darn hard. For example, one of my friend’s momsy was narrating the story of how she went to a Starbucks coffee place to buy some souvenir cups that cost like $15 a cup and she wanted 4 cups.  At the counter she brought out her card to pay, and the white cashier asks for her I.D to verify that she’s the owner of the card. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem as most stores generally ask for I.D’s to verify if indeed you are the owner of said credit card. My friend’s mom instead opted to pay with cash and she brought out $80 in 20 dollar bills and handed it to the cashier. The white lady in question proceeds to hold each $20 dollar bill up to the light to verify that it was not counterfeit. This clearly got my friend’s mom upset and she sarcastically asked the cashier whether she would like a “U.V light” to verify the genuineness of the bills. After hearing the ordeal of my friend’s mom, a “George Zimmerman white woman” said to her “I would be very mad if the same thing happened to me as well”. A smile came on my lips, because there and right there was a perfect example of white privilege. See what the woman failed to recognize was, such an ordeal would never happen to her because of the color of her own skin which was white. How could she place herself in the same shoes of the black woman when the same thing could never happen to her? See some white people try to act like they can understand how it feels to be the victim of racism, the fact is for most of their lives they might never ever have to know that feeling because of said privilege. Some of you may be wondering what is “George Zimmerman White”. George Zimmerman White is when a Hispanic woman can pass as White.

            Furthermore,  I do not begrudge the white man of his privilege, afterall, what is the point of having privilege if you never get to exercise it? Whenever I see a white man exercising his privilege, instead of getting mad I ask myself why am I even in his land to begin with? Oh yeah, my native country is too shitty compared to his. Would I have to put up with seeing him exercise his privilege if my own land was made of milk and honey? No Sir. I hope that when my fellow Nigerian counterparts experience racism instead of getting mad they should resolve to make their own country as attractive a destination as America so no longer will we have to put up with the fall out from this White Privilege. There’s an old Greek quote that states, “The strong do what they can, the weak endure what they must”. In this scenario, the white man is the strong and the black man is the weak.  A great man once said “There’s leaders and there’s followers but I would rather be a dick than a swallower” – Kanye West.

It’s amazing how conscious you have to be as a black man in this country that you do not offend the sensitivities of your white massahs. A friend of mine came to show me his new car and we decided to take it out for a test drive and we both happen to live in this upper class “white” neighborhood. So as we were doing the test drive I was conscious enough to tell him to get off the road and get on the back roads so we don’t commit the gravest sin a black man can commit in these uppity ass streets “Driving while black”.  We were not breaking no laws, not driving over the speed limit, not causing no trouble but because we had to take into account the sensitivities of our white massahs we had to get off driving on the normal road to test drive a new car just so a cop didn’t see us and pull us over for the crime of “driving over the nigger limit”.  But see if I were white and if my friend were white, we would have no need to get off the main road and unto the back roads because it would never cross our minds that we could be pulled over for no other reason but the color of our skin. That my friends, is White Privilege.

Have you noticed how the white man is always able to go to the most uncivilized places in the world and still build a little paradise for himself which he surrounds with high walls to protect him from the general populace. The next time you are in Lagos and drive past the Chevron headquarters in Lekki before Ajah, pay attention to the estate that belongs to the White expatriates that work for the oil company. See the white man can’t afford to live among the natives, which would be absurd. See he has to create his own little paradise in the midst of the natives because that little paradise reminds him of the civilization he left back in his motherland to come seek his fortune in the midst of savages.

            See when I first came to this great nation, my father taught me ways in which to blend in so that the white man does not ever have to worry about my presence. I was taught not sag, to get a quality education, not to wear dreads, not to have tattoos, not to have piercings, always keep my hair cut. Never do anything to upset your white massahs and allow them to think you are indeed just another ghetto nigga. And for a long time, I listened to my father, I came to love the look that came across the face of a white man when he found out I was currently getting my masters and how I could imagine him thinking to himself “Oh, he is not one of those ghetto ass niggaz, praise be to white Jesus. I don’t have to worry about this one trying to rob me or rape my daughter”. See I started living my life in ways that the white man would approve off, don’t rock no boats and there will be no trouble. "U walking down the street and a white man walking towards u, u gotta cross the street to save Massa the trouble."

Gradually, I came to see the folly in my dad’s advice, see the white man doesn’t care one way or the other whether you are educated or some ghetto ass nigga. All it takes is one slip up on your part, for him to think to himself “All these niggaz are the same, fucking savages”.  See if I pull up to a white neighborhood with my music blaring loudly, it’s because “He’s a nigger and what more could you expect from them jungle niggas? However, if a white guy pulled up with his music blaring in the neighborhood, “Oh here goes Josh enjoying his youth”. See it makes no difference to the white man whether you are a Nigerian with a PHD or an African American gangbanger, there’s no difference. The former is a house slave while the latter is a field slave, at the end of the day all na “slaves”.

            In conclusion, I do not want to make it seem like there are no truths to some stereotypes about black people and all white people are racist. It is true that there are indeed gangbangers, ghetto riff raffs, uncivilized savages who maraud as black people in this here great nation. But there are also 42 million black people in the U.S, for a white person to assume that 42 million black people are somehow a threat to his own personal safety is ludicrous